Robert sat a long time looking into the fire, while his mother got ready his tea, and described to him all that she knew of Mysie"s return and of her sad condition.
"You"d hardly ken her," she went on. "She"s that thin and white and faur gane lookin", forby havin" a boast that wad fricht you. Puir la.s.sie, I was vexed for her an" Matthew too is gey upset aboot it. Dae you ken, Rob, I believe they mun be gey hard gruppit. Wi" Matthew being off work, and John deein" an" a" the ither troubles they had this while, I think they canna be ower weel off."
"Ay," he said, "they canna be ower weel off; for they hae had a lot to dae this while. You micht look to them, mither. We are no sae ill off noo, an" we can afford tae help them."
"Weel, Rob, I"ve been aye givin" them a bit hand, buying beef for soup an" that" an" daein" a" I could. But I"m awfu" puttin" aboot ower puir Mysie. She"s gey faur gane, an" wherever she has been she"s been haein a bad time of it."
"I saw her at Edinburgh," he said quietly, as she paused to pour out the tea.
"In Edinburgh?"
"Ay," he replied. "Last month when I was at the conference," and Robert told his mother the whole story of his meeting with Mysie and of her disappearance and all that had happened to her from the time she had gone away.
"But you never telt yin o" us, Rob," she said after he had come to the end of the story.
"No, I never telt ony o" you; for Mysie made me promise no" to tell; an"
forby she wadna" gi"e me her address. But I was that upset that day that I couldn"t collect mysel" an" I minded o" a lot o" things I should hae done an" said after I left her. It was terrible," and he relapsed into silence again, as he went on with his supper.
His mother saw all the pain in his heart that night, though neither spoke much of the state of his feelings for Mysie; but it was evident to her who saw all the cross currents of fate, perhaps more clearly than Robert knew.
She looked at him with furtive pride. There was no showy parading of what he felt, but only the set of the mouth was a little firmer perhaps than usual and the eyes a little softer and glistening. That was all.
"Ay, Robin," she said brokenly, unable to hide her pride and weakness.
"I ken a" that you hinna telt me. I guessed it years syne; but I"m sure noo. An" I"m awfu" vexed, laddie; ay, I"m awfu" vexed," and with that he withdrew to his room, more touched with her simple words of sympathy than anything she had ever said to him in all her previous life.
Mrs. Sinclair went to bed, but she knew her laddie had not done so. She heard him in his room and knew that in the silence of the night and in the privacy and secrecy of his own room he was fighting out his battle with fate, and she knew that no one could help him--that only the fiber of his own soul could help him through.
In the morning he rose early and went for a walk, for it was Sunday.
Returning, he found his mother with the latest news of Mysie"s condition. She waited until the other members of the house had gone out, and then with a sigh observed very quietly but with a world of tender sympathy in her voice:
"Mysie"s sinkin" fast, Robin. I think you should gang ower and see her.
She canna" last very lang, puir thing, an" she was askin" aboot you when I was ower. I think she wad like to see you. You"ll gang ower and see her, Rob," she entreated, a sob in her throat as she spoke. "She"ll be awfu" pleased to see you."
"Ay, I"ll gang ower, mither," he replied simply. "I"ll gang ower efter a wee while."
But it was drawing near to the darkness when he managed to summon sufficient resolution to face the ordeal.
Mysie was lying in the room and he went in to see her--her whom he would have given his own life to restore to activity and health again. A low moan occasionally escaped her as she panted and battled for breath and the color came and faded from her cheeks in quick fleeting waves.
Oh G.o.d! Was this Mysie--this faint apparition of the girl whom he had loved? Even in the short month when he had seen her in Edinburgh a very great change had been wrought upon her. The eyes, softly glowing with a quiet radiance as they rested upon his face, were sunk, and the voice faint and weak. A thin white hand lay upon the coverlet and the great waves of brown hair which had been his pride, were tumbled about the thin face framing it in a tangled oak brown frame of deepest beauty.
She lifted her hand as he approached, a sweet smile breaking through her pain, caught him in radiance of love. "I"m glad you"ve come, Rob,"
she panted. "I jist wanted to see you again--an"--an" tak" good-by wi"
you," and the quick catch in her words gripped his heart as he knelt beside the bed, taking the thin hand between his while the tears started from his eyes and fell upon the white bed cover.
"Oh, Mysie," he said brokenly. His voice refused to go further and he bent his head upon the bed, trying hard to control himself and keep from breaking down before her.
"I"m awfu" vexed, Rob," she said, after a while. "It was a" a mistak"
an" naebody"s to blame. I ought to hae kent better mysel"," and she paused again for breath. "I--I should hae kent better, that nae guid could come--oot o" it--I was just carried awa". Dinna ever blame la.s.ses--nor men either, when things happen. They--they canna help themsel"s--" and here again she paused for breath, gasping and fighting at every word.
"It"s a" a mistake, Rob, an" I think it"s a" in the way folk look at thae things." Another pause, while her chest heaved and panted. "Maybe we dinna look at thae things richt," she again resumed. "We--we mak"
mistak"s and canna help oorsel"s; but G.o.d dinna mean it as--as a mistak". It"s a" because we think it is. Everything"s richt--but we mak"
them wrang in the way we look at them. It wad hae--been a" richt--in oor mind, if I had been married afore--afore it happened--but because we werena married--it was wrang. It"s a" a mistak" Rob, a" a--" and a burst of coughing nearly choked her and a flood of blood began to gurgle in her mouth.
Robert grew alarmed and lifting a cloth began to wipe the blood from her mouth, looking on her so concerned and anxious that she tried to smile to him to rea.s.sure him.
Presently she lay back with eyes closed and her hand limp in his. A wild fear took possession of him as he looked upon the scarcely moving breast, a fear which seemed to communicate itself to the sufferer, and she opened her eyes again, but the voice was weak and very far away.
"Dinna be angry wi" onybody, Rob. It was you I liket, it was you I wanted--but it was a" a mistake."
"I"m no" angry, Mysie," he said stifling his sobs, his tears falling upon the white thin face. "Oh, Mysie, I"m only vexed. I"m only vexed aboot the hale sad business. There now, dearie," he said bending low over her and kissing and stroking the pallid brow and caressing the face so dear to him. "There noo, I"m no" angry. You"re mine, Mysie. You"ve always been mine, an" I"m no" angry. But oh, I love you, Mysie, an" it"s breaking my heart to part frae you. Oh, G.o.d!" he groaned in agony. "What does it a" mean? I canna" bear it,--I canna" bear"t," and a wild burst of grief swept over him as he flung his head and arms upon the bed in a vain attempt to control his sobbing sorrow.
A long pause--then the white hand was raised and crept slowly over his shoulder, working its way among the thick s.h.a.ggy hair of his head as the fingers strayed from curl to curl, patting him and soothing him as a child is soothed by a mother"s hand. It rested upon his bent head and the eyes opened again.
"Ay, Rob, I"m vexed for your sake--but it was a" a mistake." She went on halting and very weak. "It was a" a mistak"--an" naebody is to blame. We are just--driven alang, an"--we canna help oorsel"s--it"s awfu" to hae--sic feelin"s--an"--an" no" hae any poo"er--to guide them richt--it"s ay the things we want maist--that we dinna get. Kiss me, Rob--kiss me, as you kissed me--yon--nicht on the muir. Haud me like you--an" I think I can--gang content. Oh, Rob,--ay liket you--it was you I wanted a" the time!"
He clasped her tenderly in his arms as he kissed her mouth, her eyes, her brow, her hair, stroking her and fondling the dear face, catching hungrily the smile that came to the pale lips, and lingered there like a blink of sun upon a hillside after the rest of the landscape is clothed in shadow.
Again there was a pause while he searched the pale face with the lingering smile, noting the veined, almost discolored eyelids, transparent and closed over the tired suffering eyes. Then a burst of coughing again and the blood in thick clots gurgled up from the throat.
Then after a little she spoke again.
"Oh, Rob, you hae made me very happy. But I"m vexed aboot you--an"--an"
Peter. He tried to dae what was richt; but it wasna to be--I hope you"ll--no"--be angry wi" him. He was like me--he couldna" help it."
"Oh, Mysie, I"m no" angry wi" him," he replied brokenly, trying hard to make his voice sound dearly. "I"m no" angry wi" onybody."
"I"m glad o" that, Rob," she said, her hand caressing his head. "You was ay a guid hearted laddie--I"m awfu" glad." Then her mind began to wander and she was back in Edinburgh speaking of her father and John.
"Oh, faither," she rambled on. "Dinna be angry wi" me. There"s naebody to blame. Dinna be angry."
Then Robert was conscious that others were in the room, and looking up he beheld his mother and Jenny Maitland and behind them with anxious face and frightened eyes stood Peter Rundell, the picture of misery and despair.
"She"s kind o" wanderin", puir thing," he heard the mother say in explanation to the others. "She"s kind o" wanderin" in her mind."
It was a sad little group which stood round the dying girl, all anxious and alarmed and watchful. Then after a while she opened her eyes again and there was a look of startled surprise as if she were looking at something in the distance. Then she began to recognize each and all of them in turn, first Robert, who still held her hand, then her mother and Nellie, and Peter. A faint smile came into her eyes and he stepped forward. Her lips moved slowly and a faint sound came falteringly from them.
"Dinna be angry wi" onybody," she panted. "It was a"--a--mistake."
Then raising her hand she held it out to Peter, who advanced towards the bedside and placing his hand on Robert"s she clasped them together in her own. "There noo--dinna be angry--it was a" a mistake. It was Rob I liket--it was him--I wanted. But it--was--a" a mistak". Dinna be--" and the glazed sunken eyes closed forever, never to open again, a faint noise gurgled in her throat, and the dews of death stood out in beads upon the pale brow. A tiny quiver of the eyelids, and a tremor through the thin hands and Mysie--poor ruined broken waif of the world--was gone.
"Oh, my G.o.d! She"s deid," gasped Robert, clasping the thin dead hands in a frenzy of pa.s.sionate grief. "Oh, Mysie! Mysie! Oh G.o.d! She"s deid,"
and his head bent low over the bed while great sobs tore through him, and shook his young frame, as the storm shakes the young firs of the woods. Then suddenly recollecting himself as his mother put her hand upon his bent head saying: "Rise up, Robin, like a man. You maun gang oot noo." He rose and with tears in his eyes that blinded him so that he hardly saw where he was going, he stumbled out into the darkness under the pale stars--out into the night to the open moor, his grief so burdening that he felt as if the whole world had gone from his reckoning.
"Oh, my poor Mysie," he groaned. "It was all a horrible mistake," and the darkness came down in thick heavy folds as if the whole world were mourning for the loss of the young girl"s soul, but it brought no comfort to him.