"What I resent," replied Leo, "is that, instead of coming to me and having it out fair and straight, you preferred to let a woman lead you by the nose in the matter, and tried, according to her receipt, to scourge me into creeping to the foot of the cross, howling and whining my penitence. That"s not a manly course to take, and I believe that the old G.o.d of our fathers Himself wouldn"t be pleased at it."
"Do you mean by this woman your sister?"
"Yes, I mean my sister."
"Very well. You must know, Fritzchen, that your sister came to me a couple of years or so before that, and said---- It doesn"t matter what she said, except that I tell you it is no subject for joking, and you should lay it to heart that the unhappy story threatened to prove fatal to your sister"s peace."
"What do you know about my sister"s peace?"
"Simply this. She knew her bit, and I knew mine. So there was no beating about the bush between us. And when I saw that the story preyed on her mind, I administered consolation, as was my duty, and as I could not procure her exactly the solatium that she required...."
"You would say the _man_ she requires?"
"Quite right. That is what I do mean. Failing that, I directed her to Heaven. Don"t laugh in such a G.o.dless fashion, Fritzchen. It is my vocation. And what is Heaven there for, unless it is to help us on our way through this vale of tears?"
"But it is not there to turn our brains."
The old man frowned in deep thought, and muttered, "For that purpose it is not there I agree."
There was a silence. Leo, who was no longer in the mood for jesting, called Christian, and ordered a wine that was drinkable.
"G.o.d reward you, Fritzchen," said the pastor. "Now, perhaps, a few sensible ideas will dawn in my addled brain."
Christian, eager to repair his master"s sins against the clergy, brought up a fiery "Ranenthaler" brand, that hadn"t seen the sun for many a long year.
Brenckenberg slowly damped his lips. His little swollen eyes became mere slits, while with a shudder of delight he emptied the gla.s.s. Then once more he was gloomy and silent.
"Aren"t you satisfied yet?" Leo asked.
"It"s a sin and a shame," he answered, "that one should enjoy one"s self while talking of such terrible things. But it is the old Adam in us, Fritzchen--the old Adam."
"You are in a hurry to repent," said Leo. "Let your lips dry first, before you curse with them."
The old man pressed his fists to his forehead.
"The fact of the matter is, Fritzchen, I am no priest after G.o.d"s heart," he said, as the wine began to bedew his inside. "Quite the contrary, my body is a perfect receptacle for the seven deadly sins.
Chambering and wantoning, to use Biblical language, I have outgrown, of course, but gorging and carousing, Fritzchen, and naughty words ..."
"_A propos_, perhaps you would like a salmon sandwich with your wine,"
broke in Leo.
"Later ... Fritzchen ... later.... Our dear Lord and Saviour will have to be patient with me for these things till the end of my days. It"s a waste of labour to struggle against nature. When I watch the elders as they slink into the Conference, lisping and mincing with a "dear brother in Christ" here, and an "in G.o.d"s infinite mercy" there; how they cast up their eyes and fold their hands on their stomachs for sheer self-righteousness and humility ... Fritzchen, it turns my bile.... And yet I envy them. To give the lean their due, they live at least according to Scripture. The fat, on the contrary, are mostly sinners, and don"t deserve the grace of G.o.d.--Amen."
"What do you want to prove by that argument?"
"That our flesh is the stumbling-block; that from time immemorial the flesh has seduced us into sinful acts, and that it is our flesh that must be crucified."
"If the thin are the saints, and the fat the sinners," interposed Leo, laughing, "then a course of baths at Schweringen must be the best moral cleanser."
"Don"t be flippant," remonstrated the pastor. "I am one of the fat. I am a sinner. Many a time I feel my flesh begin to ferment for pure sinfulness. On warm summer evenings, or in winter, by the fire with a gla.s.s of grog, thousands of little devils p.r.i.c.k you under the skin like pins, and from every b.u.t.ton-hole a desire or an indulgence winks at you. Yes, yes, Fritzchen, I know what bulk is. There is no mist before my eyes. We have too good a time of it, and then we go the pace and break our legs."
Leo smilingly asked to have the parable expounded.
"What do I mean by it? I mean this.... Don"t presume to come to me with such excuses as so-called pa.s.sion, fate, destiny, and all that nonsense. You have had too good a time, and now the devil has got hold of you by the lappet. I am sorry, Fritzchen, but it can"t be helped."
"What do you mean by the devil? Who is the devil?"
"The devil, Fritzchen, goeth about like a roaring lion----"
"Yes, yes; you taught me that in my infancy."
"Very well. And you want to know more? Would you like to see ... see with your own eyes what the devil is like?"
"I should esteem it an honour and pleasure."
"You shall have your wish."
He seized the under pocket of his long voluminous coat, and produced, with puffs and groans, first an apple, then another apple, then three ears of corn, then an end of wax-candle.... "Altar candle," he explained; "a charm against small-pox. Confiscated it yesterday from a lout who stole it from the vestry." Then a reserve pocket-handkerchief, sticky with bread-crumbs, then a taper, and last of all a leather case, about the size of a man"s fist, of three-cornered shape. The case he left on the table, while he slowly stuffed the other miscellaneous articles back into his pocket.
"He is in there."
"The devil?"
"Yes, undoubtedly."
"Dear me!"
"Take care. I am going to open it."
The cover snapped back. Something that resembled a cigar-holder, and the greater part of which was wrapped in red wool, came to light.
"Here he is," said the pastor.
"Exactly as I have always supposed him to be," scoffed Leo.
"Shouldn"t have credited you with so much ac.u.men," replied the old man with imperturbable calmness, as he untied the strings which fastened the covering, "for of the many thousand shapes he likes to appear in, this is his favourite."
The woollen wrapper fell off, and what actually revealed itself was a cleanly carved meerschaum point in the form of a woman"s leg. Above the amber shoe, which served as the mouthpiece, the part which extended to the knee had been smoked as black as ebony, but the rest, through the protection of the wrapper, had preserved its natural yellowish, white tint.
Leo laughed heartily, but the old man maintained his gravity.
"This is the method that I have discovered of hanging the devil up in the chimney," he said; "and I a.s.sure you it affords me holy joy when I do it."
He stuck the half-smoked cigar in the holder, and smoked with all the strength of his lungs.
"There"s one thing that I don"t understand," said Leo, who now tried to enter into the joke in earnest. "If you have got the devil so entirely in your power, why haven"t you made him black all over?"
The old man laid his finger on his nose with a worldly-wise air.