A few years agoArthur was huddling on the garden of the palace. He was hugging his knees with his face lowered. His eyes were wet with tears. He wasn"t crying- he was done crying. But the pain remained.
Warm hands wrapped around him. They were so warm and he wanted to be cradled by them. He raised his head. He saw a smiling woman.
"Care to explain to me what you are doing here?" Aunt Anna asked.
"Nothing" he pouted.
"Ah nothing. But your eyes are still wet. And ooh they are red!"
"Something just went inside my eyes. I scratched it"
Aunt Anna smiled. She pinched Arthur"s nose "You know you can"t lie to me"
Arthur looked away. He started to sob. "Mother scolded me again. She teach me reading and she said that I am a slow learner. But I"m trying. I just can"t make sense of the words. She said to me that I need to become intelligent because I am the heir. It"s not like I wanted to be the heir"
Tears again fell from his eyes. His mother"s harsh words earlier hurt.
Aunt Anna hugged him. "Don"t cry" She wiped his tears. She smiled, her teeth showing "Not a single tear or I will tickle you!"
And then she really tickled him. Arthur twitched and a laughter followed.
"No! Hahaha Aunt Anna!"
She stopped "Told you not to cry"
"But I didn"t cry!" he protested
"You were about to. Call it a preemptive strike"
"But..."
Aunt Anna leaned closer. She showed him her tickling hands "Oh! Is that a tear I see?"
"No!" Arthur spread his eyelids with his fingers "See? No tears"
Aunt Anna mashed his cheeks "That is good then" She lay on the gra.s.s. "The day is too bright for crying. So wipe your tears, smile and praise the Omniscient!"
Arthur lay beside her. The day really is good. The sun was shining and the wind was fresh. "Hey Aunt Anna. Can I ask you something?"
"Hmmmm. One question is worth a tickle yes?"
"What!?"
"Ha! Just kidding. Ask away Arthur. It"s free just for today"
"Um, am I stupid?"
"Who told you that!?" There was this sudden and rare anger in her voice. She looked at Arthur with a scary frown. It was probably the first time he saw her angry.
"Is it your mother?"
Arthur nodded slowly.
"That woman!" Aunt Anna was really angry. She then looked at Arthur and the anger on her face slowly vanished. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Arthur you are not stupid. Don"t let anyone call you as such. You don"t deserve to be treated like that. Don"t worry I will talk to your mother about this"
"No!" Arthur pleaded. It would be bad if Aunt Anna was dragged into this. He doesn"t want things to become complicated. "Please don"t. Aunt Anna please. I don"t want you two to fight"
Aunt Anna stared at him for long. "Fine. But if she ever abuse you with her words again tell me. I will not hold back"
"Alright Aunt Anna"
Aunt Anna ruffled his hair "Any other questions?"
"A bit personal"
"You want to ask me why your father has two women in his life"
Arthur was surprised. She knew instantly! He had always wanted to ask his mother about this strange thing. Other families were composed only of one husband and one wife. But they were different.
Aunt Anna looked up into the sky. "Love"
"love?"
"Yes Arthur, love. Your mother and I both loved your father. And your father took both of us as his wives. I don"t really know if he loves one of us, both of us or neither of us. But I know that your mother and I loves the same person. It is complicated and a bit frustrating and painful I tell you. But if we mince it into pieces and look at it in its simplest form- the reason is love. A human being will do the wild things for love"
"Mother said that following your feelings is stupid too. She said that I should always follow my mind. The heart is treacherous she said"
"She was wrong" Aunt Anna said without a bit a hesitation. Her gentle face smiling towards him "The question of following the mind or the heart- most people who had followed their heart and failed would say that following the mind is better. This is somewhat true. If we just use our brains, the chances of dying or getting hurt is low. But being true is not being right Arthur. I don"t think that following just the wisdom of the mind is right. On the other hand, following the heart all the time isn"t right either"
"So what should we follow?"
"Both. Follow your heart and guide it with you mind. Don"t jump into your feelings without thinking about it first. At the same time don"t disregard your feelings. We are humans Arthur. Humans err. Humans do strange things. But at the end of the day, a human is still a human- and our feelings are what makes us human. A father would stand in the way of a cavalry charge just to protect his family. A mother would feed her children first even if she was starving herself. A common footman would fight and die in a war for a King he never even met. Is the father"s decision logical? No, he cannot stop a cavalry charge anyway. How about the mother? Still not logical. She couldn"t find food for her children in the future if she starves to death. The same could be said for the footman. He was fighting for an idea of loyalty. But imagine if the father leaves his family at the mercy of the enemies. Imagine if the mother gobbles up the food while her children starve. Imagine a world without loyalty. Isn"t it bleak? The lesson is- don"t lose your life by disregarding what the mind says and don"t lose your humanity by disregarding what your heart says"
Arthur fell into a deep silence. He didn"t understand half of what she said.
"I don"t understand"
"Maybe you"re too young for a lesson in philosophy. Just remember my advice Arthur"
"Thank you Aunt Anna. Lucia is lucky to have you as her mother"
Aunt Anna pulled him into her warm embrace. She rubbed her cheek on his hair. "Oh don"t be like that. I am your mother too"
"You are?"
"I am" She put a kiss on the top of his head "I baked something special today. Want to eat with us?"
Arthur"s face lit up. Aunt Anna"s cooking was good. He smiled and gave fast nods.
**********
Aunt Anna"s bust in the garden was illuminated by seven lamps. The garden was dark but the portion where Aunt Anna"s bust stood was not.
Arthur was again sitting cross-legged in front of her bust. He missed her. He missed her smile. He missed her cooking. He missed how kindly she treated him.
Now she was gone. It was sad that he could never talk to her again. She only existed in his memories.
"Your lesson about following the mind and the heart" Arthur said to the bust "I think I understand it now. I didn"t understand back then but now I do"
"Lucia. She is a prime example isn"t she? You really taught her well. She is smart- always using her mind. But she never lost her humanity. Not even once. As a result she is happy. I, on the other hand, followed only my feelings. I blindly followed my hate and jealousy towards her and look where it led me. But truth be told, looking back on those days, all I wanted was recognition. I wanted to be a great person, worthy of being the heir of Vanadis. It was a great responsibility that comes with great expectations. But I am too weak to fill those expectations. As a result I was filled with hate and insecurity. I had forgotten about the things you taught me"
Arthur lowered his head "Tomorrow they are planning something bad. It would benefit me they say. It would make me the King of Vanadis. But I"m tired Aunt Anna. I don"t want to be a part of it. They will fail anyway. Lucia and Timothy are not that easily toppled. But I feel bad for my mother. I love my mother and I want to make her happy. I am torn"
"I wish you were still with us. I wish you could give me your wisdom right now. Of course you would suggest against joining them. Lucia is your daughter after all. But still... Ah dammit" A single tear fell from his eye. He wiped it but more tears followed. "To be honest, I just want to hear your voice again. I just want to feel your warm embrace. I want to eat your baked cookies. I miss you..." Arthur swallowed. He closed his eyes and imagined her smiling face "Ma"
Footsteps then sounded behind. It grew louder as it approached him. Arthur wiped the rest of his tears.
"Arthur?" A surprised voice asked "What are you doing here?"
Arthur looked behind. It was Lucia. She was carrying flowers, probably for the bust of Aunt Anna. She really looked like her.
Arthur smiled. Aunt Anna might be gone. But he could still talk to the person who resembles her the most- his sister.