"Alan liked women and men! Mitch was so drunk that-"
Mitch.e.l.l fired through the wall, too high. I was on him, a full body tackle. He kept shooting.
Grabbed his gun hand and yanked at a bad angle for him. He yelped and bucked, trying to twist around, but kept a solid grip. He was mad out of his mind and stronger than he looked. I used my other hand to slam his head sharp against the floor and still he fought.
I tried to take the gun. Another shot. The bullet went through my palm, but I was too p.i.s.sed to feel it. Gut- punched him, blood flying. He didn"t notice. Had gone crazy. We rolled and kicked and hit, and he fired again. How many G.o.dd.a.m.n bullets were in this thing?
His hand over my face, fingers digging in my eyes, I turned away...
And glimpsed Kroun, his arm out, his own gun ready, coldly and carefully choosing his moment. His face was blank, eyes gone black with that h.e.l.l-pit look; he seemed a different man altogether. Fast as things were moving, I still felt a swift, icy jolt of panic. When a man"s soul isn"t there, you know, you just know it, and you don"t want to be anywhere near what it"s left behind.
Mitch.e.l.l saw it, too, his own d.a.m.nation staring down. He wrenched his gun around and up with that strange, desperate strength.
Two shots. Close. Deafening.
And it was over. Mitch.e.l.l went inert, his body collapsing on top of me in a horrible reprise of Hoyle"s death. Blood- smell, blood pouring onto me, warm and still vital...
I threw him violently off, scrabbled over the floor to get clear of the thing he"d become, terrified that another seizure would rip away what sanity remained in me.
Then Bobbi was there. I caught her up, maybe too hard, but she kept telling me everything would be all right, it was okay... Jack, it"s okay...
I waited, fighting it, waited, forcing down the shudder that tried to rise.
Fighting.
Her voice helped. A soft, melodious, songlike droning as she held me, rea.s.sured me.
I allowed myself a single, choking sob. There was more in me, eager for its turn to emerge from the darkness. I couldn"t think about it, about what it might do if it got out, what it might be. Another seizure, or would the mindless craving take me over? If that happened and I hurt Bobbi...
I made myself focus on her sweet voice, the feel of her arms around me. I held on to that distraction from the internal demons. She was real, but they were so...
You are in control, you are responsible. You"re stronger now than I ever was then.
Hard to believe. But Escott had never lied to me. He was right. I had a choice about being in charge or not. Of giving up and- And however you think you could hurt Bobbi, it couldn"t possibly be worse than taking yourself away. Don"t put her through that, Jack. You"re her rock. Don"t crumble under her.
No. I wouldn"t do that to her. She deserved better. I had to try, to believe that I could beat this.
Don"t tell me you can"t. If I can do it, you can, too.
h.e.l.l of a tough act to follow.
Stay for her sake. Or I swear I will beat the h.e.l.l out of you again.
d.a.m.n you, Escott...
Something brittle and sharp inside seemed to break up and fall away, suddenly allowing my soul to breathe again.
There were no words for what it was, I just understood that something had shifted and it was gone.
Over.
Past.
Done.
It had been heavy. So d.a.m.ned heavy. Only when the weight was no longer there did I understand how heavy it had been.
Then it was my turn to collapse. I sank to my knees, and Bobbi came with me, letting me lean on her. G.o.d, but I needed her.
And Escott said that I was her rock.
"Jack?"
After a moment, I dredged a smile for her. "Hey, baby. You okay?"
"How "bout yourself?"
"Just peachy." It felt so good, her holding me, but the hurt on my hand... it was knitting up, but d.a.m.n, that burned. " "Scuse me a sec."
I vanished, came back. Much better now. Much...
Kroun-he"d have seen- Turned to look. He hadn"t seen anything. He"d caught a bullet.
He sprawled flat, a hole in his chest that bubbled air every time he moved. The pain had him helpless and gasping, and blood ran from his mouth. I knew the signs, he didn"t have a minute left.
I went to him. Knelt close.
"Fleming." My name made more blood come out of him. He coughed and tried to suck air past the stuff clogging his throat. The smell filled the room, but now I was able to ignore it.
"I"m here, what can I do?" h.e.l.l, what can you do for a dying man? He looked like himself again, though. Whatever he had for a soul was back again, struggling hard to stay, but losing as his body failed.
"Mitch. Dead?"
Had to look. "He"s dead."
" "Fraid I"d missed. Your girl?"
"She"s fine. You hold on, I"ll get a doctor."
"Past that." Coughed. "d.a.m.n stuff. First I burn my lungs, now this. Life ain"t fair."
"No, it ain"t."
"Promise..."
"Anything."
"No fish food."
What?
"No lake. No chopping. No oil drums. You bury me proper. No cremat..." "I promise. Kroun? I promise. You hear?"
Then the rattle. His last breath going out. The slack stillness that went on forever.
Oh, d.a.m.n. d.a.m.n it all. He couldn"t have known about my nature. If he"d just held off I could have...
Feeling very old, I stood. Went to Bobbi. Had to hold her again, hold her and get and give comfort, quick before dread practicalities rose up.
"Your neighbors... the shots..." I finally said.
"We"ll bluff them out. I"ll say I was rehearsing a radio skit, a-a-and the fake gun was louder than it should be. I"ll make "em believe it."
"Just don"t let anyone in. You"re not staying here tonight, either."
"d.a.m.n right I"m not."
"I"ll get you over with Gordy and Adelle. Shoe can look out for you all until this is cleared."
"G.o.d, Jack, what will you do?" She looked at the bodies. Any other girl might have fainted. Instead, she held on to me.
"I gotta call Derner, get some boys over here to clean up."
"But how will you explain?"
"I"m not. I won"t have to with them, but no cops. We can"t. I"m not putting you through that kind of h.e.l.l. Mitch.e.l.l can be disappeared."
She went pale, knowing what that meant. "And the other man? Kroun?"
"I made him a promise. You make a promise, you gotta be stand-up about it. Derner and I will figure something out, do the right thing."
Bobbi nodded, held me again, then suddenly went rigid and shrieked.
With a groan, Kroun rolled on his side. There was pain all over his face, but he used one arm to push and was slowly sitting up.
I gasped. Had an insane thought that he"d worn a vest like Escott"s, but the blood was real, his absolute stillness, the wound...
Was closing.
He pressed his fist against it, wincing. "Ah, son of a b.i.t.c.h. That hurts!"
I gaped and couldn"t seem to come out of it.
He grunted, groaned, and snarled. Then glared at me. "What? You think you"re the only one?"
"Oh, my G.o.d, he"s like you," Bobbi whispered.
Kroun"s mouth twisted with disgust. "Ain"t that the pip? And now you two know everything. I tried to not move, but d.a.m.n..." He failed to suppress a cough.
I stared and recalled and wondered and realized. "You never told me," I said, voice faint.
"Why the h.e.l.l should I? I didn"t know you. You run with an outfit like Gordy"s and think that"s a good character reference?"
"But I hypnotized you."
"You thought you did. I was wondering, "What the h.e.l.l?" and then played along to see what you"d do. Ahh! d.a.m.n!"
He pulled himself toward Bobbi"s couch and eased down with his back against it, long legs sprawled on the floor, arms tight around his chest, pressing hard, visibly hurting. Why was he putting himself through that? Why not vanish?
Bobbi broke away from me and into the kitchen, ran water, and returned with wet dish towels. She knelt and Kroun let her try to clean him up. He gave her a bemused look as she swabbed blood from his face.
"You"re all right, kid," he concluded.
"Are you?" She made him move his arms and opened his shirt. "The hole"s gone, but..." "Just on the outside, cutie. Inside stuff... it takes longer. I need to rest a little. I"ll get better." He winked the way you do to rea.s.sure someone, then made null of it when he began to cough. He grabbed one of the towels, hacking blood into it. The bullet must have gone through a lung.
She glanced at me, clearly thinking the same question. Why wasn"t he vanishing?
When the fit eased, Kroun said, "You surprised me, Fleming. During the hypnosis when you were trying to get me to change things... I expected a left, and you went right."
"What did you do?" Bobbi asked. "Jack?"
I shook my head. "I just wanted him to keep Gordy in charge. That"s all."
"It was enough," he said. "What you wanted told me a lot about you. You didn"t order me around, you didn"t do a lot of stuff that others might. Didn"t ask for anything for yourself. All you did was look out for a friend."
"But you weren"t under."
"I played along. You get that, yet? I faked being under to learn more. Then you went funny, had-whatever that was-some kind of fit, I don"t know, you were bad off, then you just weren"t there. And that clinched it for me on what you are, what I was dealing with. But just try to pretend to still be out of things when someone pulls that on you. I d.a.m.n near lost it there."
"Well, you fooled me."
"You had other problems than just worrying about my taking you on a ride to the boneyard. I wanted to know about "em. I figured it was to do with Bristow"s work. What he did messed you up. With hypnotizing. That right?"
"I think so." I flinched inside. "Yes."
Bobbi looked at me. "What"s he mean?"
She had to find out sometime. "I... I can"t do that anymore. Whammying people. It"s... like my head"s exploding. I don"t dare try it again. Maybe not ever. Bristow messed me up, all right."
Kroun snorted. "Face it, kid, what Bristow did left you crippled, the same as if he chopped off one of your legs.
You"ll just have to live without. The way you looked, it could kill you if nothing else can." He winced again, coughing more blood into the towel. "d.a.m.n, this hurts."
"Vanish, then. Heal up."
He gave a short laugh. Coughing. "Believe me, I"d like to."
"Why don"t you?"