First Song:
So many years I sought you, Mary-- In gardens, rooms, cities and mountains, In dumps, wh.o.r.es, in acting schools, In sick beds and in the rooms of mad people, In kitchen maids, screaming, celebrations of spring, In every kind of weather and every kind of day, In coffee houses, mothers, dancers-- I did not find you in bars, motion pictures, Music-cafes, excursions into the summer mist...
Who knows the agony, when I, in the night on the streets, Cried out for you to the dead sky--
Next Song:
He who looks for you in this way, Mary, becomes quite gray.
He who looks for you in this way, Mary, loses his face and legs.
The heart crumbles. Blood and dream escape.
If I could rest... if I were in your hands...
Oh, if you would take me up in your eyes...
Song of Praise
Mary you--to think of how I felt about you... my heavy head sinks-- Sea only and moon--sea-moon and wind and world-- White sand encircling your white skin, Mary-- Your hair... your smile--all around is sea and distress And shouts and longing and a gentle happiness-- All this singing, that makes for such weariness...
Doesn"t heaven come to us slowly like a mother"s song To the forehead of her child again and again--
Sad Song
Now I go once again among days, animals, Rocks and thousands of eyes and sounds-- The most foreign one. I had to lose you...
Your sinful body, Mary, was so lovely-- Now I once again in vain look among days, animals, Rocks and sounds for a trace of you.
Now I also know: I had to lose you...
I did not find you--it was only your name--
Last Song
Only come, my rain... fall against my face Yellow street lamps... overturn the houses-- I don"t want unbroken, smooth roads.
Now it is lovely... only in the light of street lamps...
Mary... surrounded with dark rain-- This is the way it should be. I would like to be with you.
What are mountains and the flat land to me-- What are cities to me and colorful hypnotic nights-- Back to the ocean... back to the starry sh.o.r.e.
You are not entirely Mary, whom I sought.
But you are also Mary--boundless...
Beloved... a fool... cursed with longing...
Kuno"s Nocturne
Every day, when it gets so very dark That I can read no more, I walk along the street singing, Look at every girl...
Whether perhaps--who knows-- Today of all days a miracle will take place: That I shall come home redeemed, Peaceful and forever free...
From such pursuits I come back To the house tired and confused, I know a secret remedy That can extinguish all suffering--
Going for a Walk
Evening comes with moonshine and silky darkness.
The roads become weary. The narrow world widens.
Winds of opium move in and out of the field.
I widen my eyes like silver wings.
I feel as though my body were the whole earth.
The city lights up: thousands of street lamps sway.
Now the sky also piously enkindles its candlelight.
... Huge above everything my human face wanders--
Ash Wednesday
Yesterday I still went powdered and addicted Into the many-colored sounding world.
Today everything has long since drowned.
Here is a thing.
There is a thing.
Something seems like this.
Something seems otherwise.
How easily someone blows out The whole flowering earth.
The sky is cold and blue.
Or the moon is yellow and flat.
A forest has many individual trees.
There"s nothing more to cry about.
There"s nothing more to scream about.
Where am I--
The Son
Mother, don"t hold me, Mother, your caress hurts me, See through my face, How I glow and wane.
Give the last kiss. Let me go.
Send a prayer after me.
That I broke your life, Mother, forgive me.
To Frida
(Dedicated to L.L.)
Walls separate us.
Strange spider webs.
But I often fly, gaunt in my sinking Hand wringing room, a bleeding chirping twit.