The man yelled hoa.r.s.ely. "Don"t ... don"t say it! All this--what you"ve been going through, can"t you understand? All that is part of indoctrination. You"re no different than the rest of us! We"ve all had it! All of us. All of us! Some more maybe than others. It had to end.
You"ll have to give in. Oh G.o.d, I wish you didn"t. I wish you could win.
But you"re no smarter than the rest of us. _You"ll have to give in!_"
It was 4901"s longest and most coherent speech. Maybe I can get somewhere with him, Marquis thought. I can find out something.
But 4901 wouldn"t say any more. Marquis kept on trying. No one, he knew, would ever realize what that meant--to keep on trying to die when no one would let you, when you kept dying, and then kept waking up again, and you weren"t dead. No one could ever understand the pain that went between the dying and the living. And even Marquis couldn"t remember it afterward. He only knew how painful it had been. And knowing that made each attempt a little harder for Marquis.
He tried the poison again. There was the big stamping machine that had crushed him beyond any semblance of a human being, but he had awakened, alive again, whole again. There was the time he grabbed the power cable and felt himself, in one blinding flash, conquer life in a burst of flame. He slashed his wrists at the beginning of a number of sleep periods.
When he awakened, he was whole again. There wasn"t even a scar.
He suffered the pain of resisting the eating bells until he was so weak he couldn"t respond, and he knew that he died that time too--from pure starvation.
_But I can"t stay dead!_
"_... You"ll have to give in!_"
He didn"t know when it was. He had no idea now how long he had been here. But a guard appeared, a cold-faced man who guided Marquis back to the office where the fat, pink-faced little Manager waited for him behind the shelf suspended by silver wires from the ceiling.
The Manager said. "You are the most remarkable prisoner we"ve ever had here. There probably will not be another like you here again."
Marquis" features hung slack, his mouth slightly open, his lower lip drooping. He knew how he looked. He knew how near he was to cracking completely, becoming a senseless puppet of the bells. "Why is that?" he whispered.
"You"ve tried repeatedly to--you know what I mean of course. You have kept on attempting this impossible thing, attempted it more times than anyone else here ever has! Frankly, we didn"t think any human psyche had the stuff to try it that many times--to resist that long."
The Manager made a curious lengthened survey of Marquis" face. "Soon you"ll be thoroughly indoctrinated. You are, for all practical purposes, now. You"ll work automatically then, to the bells, and think very little about it at all, except in a few stereotyped ways to keep your brain and nervous system active enough to carry out simple specialized work duties. Or while the New System lasts. And I imagine that will be forever."
"Forever...."
"Yes, yes. You"re immortal now," the Manager smiled. "Surely, after all this harrowing indoctrination experience, you realize _that_!"
_Immortal. I might have guessed. I might laugh now, but I can"t. We who pretend to live in a h.e.l.l that is worse than death, and you, the Managerials who live in paradise._ We two are immortal.
"That is, you"re immortal as long as we desire you to be. You"ll never grow any older than we want you to, never so senile as to threaten efficiency. That was what you were so interested in finding out on Earth, wasn"t it? The mystery behind the Managerials? Why they never seemed to grow old. Why we have all the advantage, no senility, no weakening, the advantage of acc.u.mulative experience without the necessity of re-learning?"
"Yes," Marquis whispered.
The Manager leaned back. He lit a paraette and let the soothing nerve-tonic seep into his lungs. He explained.
"Every one of you political prisoners we bring here want, above everything else, to die. It was a challenge to our experimental social order here. We have no objection to your killing yourself. We have learned that even the will to die can be conditioned out of the most determined rebel. As it has been conditioned out of you. You try to die enough times, and you do die, but the pain of resurrection is so great that finally it is impossible not only to kill yourself, but even to think of attempting it."
Marquis couldn"t say anything. The memory called up by the mention of self-destruction rasped along his spine like chalk on a blackboard. He could feel the total-recall of sensation, the threatening bursts of pain. "No...." he whispered over and over. "No--please--no--"
The Manager said. "We won"t mention it anymore. You"ll never be able to try any overt act of self-destruction again."
The bright light from the ceiling lanced like splinters into the tender flesh of Marquis" eyeb.a.l.l.s, danced about the base of his brain in reddened choleric circles. His face had drawn back so that his cheekbones stood out and his nose was beak-like. His irises became a bright painful blue in the reddened ovals of his eyes.
The Manager yawned as he finished explaining. "Each prisoner entering here has an identification punch-plate made of his unique electro-magnetic vibratory field. That"s the secret of our immortality and yours. Like all matter, human difference is in the electro-magnetic, vibratory rates. We have these punch-plates on file for every prisoner.
We have one of you. Any dead human body we merely put in a tank which dissolves it into separate cells, a ma.s.s of stasis with potentiality to be reformed into any type of human being of which we have an identification punch-plate, you see? This tank of dissociated cells is surrounded by an electro-magnetic field induced from a machine by one of the identification punch-plates. That particular human being lives again, the body, its mind, its life pattern identical to that from which the original punch-plate was made. Each time you have died, we reduced your body, regardless of its condition, to dissociated cells in the tank. The identification punch-plate was put in the machine. Your unique electro-magnetic field reformed the cells into you. It could only be you, as you are now. From those cells we can resurrect any one of whom we have an identification plate.
"That is all, No. 5274. Now that you"re indoctrinated, you will work from now on in the food-mart, because of your experience."
For an undeterminable length of time, he followed the routines of the bells. In the big food-mart, among the hydroponic beds, and the canning machines; among the food-grinders and little belts that dropped cans of food-concentrate into racks and sent them off into the walls.
He managed to talk more and more coherently with No. 4901. He stopped referring to suicide, but if anyone had the idea that Marquis had given up the idea of dying, they were wrong. Marquis was stubborn. Somewhere in him the flame still burned. He wouldn"t let it go out. The bells couldn"t put it out. The throbbing machines couldn"t put it out. And now he had at last figured out a way to beat the game.
During an eating period, Marquis said to 4901. "You want to die. Wait a minute--I"m talking about something we can both talk and think about. A murder agreement. You understand? We haven"t been conditioned against killing each other. It"s only an overt act of selfdes--all right, we don"t think about that. But we can plan a way to kill each other."
4901 looked up. He stopped eating momentarily. He was interested.
"What"s the use though?" Pain shadowed his face. "We only go through it--come back again--"
"I have a plan. The way I have it worked out, they"ll never bring either one of us back."
That wasn"t exactly true. _One_ of them would have to come back. Marquis hoped that 4901 wouldn"t catch on to the fact that he would have to be resurrected, but that Marquis never would. He hoped that 4901"s mind was too foggy and dull to see through the complex plan. And that was the way it worked.
Marquis explained. 4901 listened and smiled. It was the first time Marquis had ever seen a prisoner smile.
He left what remained of the capsule of poison where 4901 could get it.
During one of the next four eating periods, 4901 was to slip the poison into Marquis" food can. Marquis wouldn"t know what meal, or what can. He had to eat. The bells had conditioned him that much. And not to eat would be an overt act of self-destruction.
He wasn"t conditioned not to accept death administered by another.
And then, after an eating period, 4901 whispered to him. "You"re poisoned. It was in one of the cans you just ate."
"Great!" almost shouted Marquis. "All right. Now I"ll die by the end of the next work period. That gives us this sleep period and all the next work period. During that time I"ll dispose of you as I"ve said."
4901 went to his bed and the bells rang and the dark came and both of them slept.
Number 4901 resisted the conditioners enough to follow Marquis past his regular work room into the food-mart. As planned, 4901 marched on and stood in the steaming shadows behind the hydroponic beds.
Marquis worked for a while at the canning machines, at the big grinding vats. Then he went over to 4901 and said. "Turn around now."
4901 smiled. He turned around. "Good luck," he said. "Good luck--to you!"
Marquis. .h.i.t 4901 across the back of the neck with an alloy bar and killed him instantly. He changed clothes with the dead man. He put his own clothes in a refuse incinerator. Quickly, he dragged the body over and tossed it into one of the food-grinding vats. His head bobbed up above the gray swirling liquid once, then the body disappeared entirely, was ground finely and mixed with the other foodstuff.
Within eight hours the cells of 4901 would be distributed minutely throughout the contents of thousands of cans of food-concentrate. Within that time much of it would have been consumed by the inmates and Managers.
At the end of that work period, Marquis returned to his cell. He went past his own bed and stopped in front of 4901"s bed.
The sleep bells sounded and the dark came again. This would be the final dark, Marquis knew. This time he had beat the game. The delayed-action poison would kill him. He had on 4901"s clothes with his identification number. He was on 4901"s bed.