I waited patiently for some time, and applied myself diligently to reading and meditating on the word of G.o.d, which had become like necessary food to my soul. In all my prayers I entreated the Lord that he would condescend to direct me to those true Christians of whom his church was composed, and permit me to become one of their number. I felt a confidence, from all that I had experienced, that my divine Benefactor would grant my request whenever he saw it good for me; this confidence quieted me, but could not remove my desire to ascertain what the protestant religion really was.
One day, particularly, this anxiety became stronger than ever, and degenerated, I acknowledge, into real impatience. I was unhappy at my lonely and isolated situation, without a friend to whom I could communicate my dearest interests; I believe I could have gone a hundred miles to have found any one who thought and felt as I did. It was at this moment of perplexity and weariness, on my return home, at the close of a day"s work, that the thought struck me of consulting my wife, your present mother, and I had a presentiment that through her I should discover what I so long wished to know. She is, as you know, a native of Libos, and I remembered having heard her say that there were protestants residing in that town and neighbourhood.
When the supper was ended, and we were seated by the fire, each in our chimney-corner, she took her work, and I began the conversation nearly in the following words:
"Annette," said I, "have I not heard you say that there are many protestants in Libos and the neighbourhood?"
"Yes, Bayssiere," she replied, "there are a great many, but they are a good deal scattered about the country. They belong to the church of Mont Flanquin, where their priest or minister resides."
"And do you know any of them? Have you ever spoken to them, or been at their houses?"
"O yes, I was acquainted with many families; I knew Mr. ----, and Mr. ----, &c. &c. (I suppress names.) I have been employed in their houses, and seen them frequently."
"Well, then, can you tell me what sort of people they are, and what their characters and habits?"
"O yes, I can a.s.sure you that they are the best set of people in the world. They are esteemed, loved, and respected by every one: I never heard any thing but good of those I knew, and they always appeared to me to conduct themselves irreproachably."
[Ill.u.s.tration: PETER BAYSSIERE]
I continued to question your mother on the manner in which the protestants brought up their children; how they treated their servants, strangers, and the poor. I asked if domestic harmony prevailed among them, and how they conducted themselves as parents and children, brothers and sisters.
All her answers tended to convince me that pious protestants lived under the influence of the word of G.o.d; and at each disclosure she made, (though unconscious of the value I attached to it,) I said to myself, "_This is_ the morality of the Gospel."
Satisfied on this point, I turned to another:
"How do the protestants spend their Sabbaths and festivals," I asked, "separated as they are from each other and their church? Do they ever a.s.semble for prayer, or do they live without worship?"
"O, no! they don"t live without worship; they have their divine services; they are at too great a distance from their minister and each other to meet every Sunday, but they have a church in the country where they a.s.semble many times in a year, I believe once a month; and at other times they meet for prayer at their own houses." "Oh! then they have a church near Libos? I should very much like to know," said I, "how they conduct their worship, and what they do at their church?"
"I can tell you perfectly," replied your mother, "for I was present at one of their a.s.semblies. There is nothing grand or striking in their churches; they contain neither altar, chapel, images, nor any ornament whatever, but consist simply of four whitewashed walls. At the lower end is a pulpit, like that used by our priest, in front of which is a table, and around it are seats occupied by the elders. The rest of the church is fitted up with benches, placed in order, on which the congregation seat themselves as they enter.
"I observed that most of them, before they sat down, leaned upon the back of the seat before them, and seemed to be in the act of prayer.
Their service was as simple as the building, devoid of ceremony. When the congregation had a.s.sembled, one of the elders ascended the pulpit and prayed aloud in French; then he gave notice that he was about to read the word of G.o.d; and having requested their attention, he did read, for some time, from a great book, which they told me was the Holy Bible. He then offered prayers, and preached a sermon, which gave me great pleasure at the time, but which I now forget. I well remember that throughout the service there was no noise nor disturbance of any kind in the church, and one feeling seemed to pervade the whole: this struck me forcibly."
In this description of the protestant worship, imperfect as it was, I thought I could recognise those traits of simplicity that characterized the worship of the primitive christians: and when your mother had finished, I said to myself, "This is indeed like the worship recorded in the Acts of the Apostles." But I added, without allowing her to perceive the extreme satisfaction that this information afforded me, "Is this all you know of the protestant worship? Did you never see them receive the sacrament?"
"Yes, I have," she replied, "on that same day, which was the only time I ever entered their church."
"Do tell me, then, how was it conducted?"
"I told you, if you remember, that there was a table in front of the pulpit: this table was their altar; it was covered with a very white cloth: in the middle of it were a plate of bread and two chalices of wine. When the minister had finished preaching, he took a book, and read from it some beautiful pa.s.sages on the communion, sufferings, and death of Christ; he also spoke of the duty of communicants; then every one stood up while he prayed: after which he descended from the pulpit, and came in front of the holy table; he here repeated aloud some words which I have forgotten, and took a small piece of bread and ate it; this done, he took the two cups in his hands, and again saying something that I did not hear, he drank some of the wine. The elders then approached the table, and each received a piece of bread, which they ate, and drank a little of the wine from the cup which was presented to them. The rest of the congregation did the same, the women after the men; and when all had communicated, the minister re-ascended the pulpit, gave another exhortation, offered a concluding prayer, and closed the whole by urging upon them the care of the poor."
"This," thought I, "is indeed the supper of the Lord!"
The conformity that I had already observed between the practices of the protestants and those of the primitive christians, created in me a feeling of joy which I had never before experienced. I desired, with renewed ardour, to search to the bottom of their doctrines, and from that time I antic.i.p.ated that I might myself become a decided Protestant. This expectation, my children, soon increased into a certainty.
On the tenth of February last, two pamphlets fell into my hands; one was published by a Roman Catholic priest, and contained an attack on the protestant religion: the other was an answer, in defence of that religion, written by a protestant minister: these were the first words of religious controversy I had ever read, and eagerly did I devour these two little works. That of the first (which had been written on the occasion of a respectable family having recently embraced the Protestant faith) contained nothing that was solid, or that I could not have refuted in the very words of Christ and his Apostles; therefore I did not dwell upon it. But the second, under the t.i.tle of _A Letter to Malanie_, was the very thing I wanted, and was so anxiously desiring to find--an exposition of the protestant creed, or at least of its most essential points. It taught me that the Gospel was their only rule of faith, worship, and conduct: that they admitted all that they found established by the Holy Scriptures, but rejected every thing else, and especially prohibited the invocation of saints, the worship of images, of relics, and of the holy Virgin. It taught me that they worshipped G.o.d alone, through Jesus Christ his Son; that their only hope of salvation was in his mercy, revealed in the sacrifice of the cross of Christ; that they recognised no other Mediator, no other Advocate, and no other Intercessor with G.o.d, than him who gave himself as such, and who alone has the right of saying to sinners, "Come unto me and I will give you rest." It taught me that they believed no more than myself in purgatory, in the supremacy of the pope, or in the real presence, &c. In short, it taught me that the protestants received and professed no other than primitive Christianity.
It would be impossible for me to tell you how rejoiced I was to find my most intimate feelings expressed by a minister of a religion founded on the Gospel. From this, and from all that your mother had told me, I clearly saw that the Protestants were unjustly accused and misrepresented by the wicked or the ignorant, and that they were in truth those christians, according to the word of G.o.d, to whom the promises of the Gospel are made. From that time I acknowledged them as my true brethren in Christ Jesus, and my chief desire was to be admitted into their communion.
I clearly foresaw, my children, that by making an open avowal of my religious principles, and by publicly declaring myself a Protestant, I should raise many violent pa.s.sions against myself, and expose myself to a thousand trials; but the truth was dearer to me than life, and conscience spoke louder than the fear of man. I resolved, therefore, without hesitation, to confess my Saviour before men, let the result be what it might, and I immediately wrote to Mr. ----, the pastor at Nerac, and the author of the letter I had read, requesting the a.s.sistance of his experience and kind advice. In short, after I had been eleven months in correspondence with this excellent minister of the Lord; after I had visited him, in order to acquaint him more fully with the state of my mind, and to enjoy the privilege of his instruction; after I had frequently attended the performance of Protestant worship and their different religious ordinances; after I had carefully compared these, as well as their doctrines, with the only standard of truth, the word of G.o.d, and was fully convinced of their perfect accordance, I no longer saw a motive for delay, but requested admission, and was received as a member of the Protestant church.
On the twenty-third of the December following, I went to Nerac, and on Christmas day, in the presence of the whole congregation, having, as I trust, first given my heart unto the Lord, I became publicly united to his saints, and received the sacred _symbols_ of the body and blood of my Saviour at the Lord"s Supper, and pledged myself to remain faithful to him till death. I trust that he will vouchsafe to me his a.s.sistance for the fulfilment of this promise, and manifest his strength in my weakness.
Thus it was, my beloved children, that I became a member of the Reformed Church of Christ. I have now explained to you the circ.u.mstances and motives that have led me to its sanctuary. In the presence of G.o.d I attest the truth of all I have now written. The ranks of the true church are not recruited by means of bribery, deceit, fraud, false miracles, or compulsion; all means are rejected but _instruction, reason_, and persuasion. This church has been formed, and still exists, notwithstanding the blows that have been levelled at it; and it will for ever continue, in spite of all the rage of h.e.l.l; sustained by the simple exhibition of that Gospel which is its only guide and support.
May it please that G.o.d whom I supplicate for the salvation of all men, and more especially for the conversion and prosperity of my enemies, to give his grace to you, my children, that you may be found among the number of those who shall be saved. Happy should I be, not only to be your natural father, but also your spiritual father! Happy, indeed, should I be, if at that great day, when we shall appear before G.o.d to receive the sentence of our eternal destiny, I might be able to present myself and you, without fear, and say, "Here, Lord, am I, and the children thou hast given me."
P. BAYSSIERE.
_Montaigut, Dec_. 31, 1826.
THE HISTORY
OF A
BIBLE.
HISTORY OF A BIBLE.
After remaining a close prisoner for some months in a bookseller"s shop, I was liberated, and taken to the country to be a companion to a young gentleman who had lately become major. The moment I entered the parlour where he sat, he rose up and took me in his hands, expressing his surprise at the elegance of my dress, which was scarlet, embroidered with gold. The whole family seemed greatly pleased with my appearance; but they would not permit me to say one word. After their curiosity was satisfied they desired me to sit down upon a chair in the corner of the room. In the evening I was taken up stairs, and confined in the family prison, called by them the library. Several thousand prisoners were under the same sentence, standing in rows around the room; they had their names written upon their foreheads, but none of them were allowed to speak.
We all remained in this silent, inactive posture for some years. Now and then a stranger was admitted to see us: these generally wondered at our number, beauty, and the order in which we stood; but our young jailor would never allow a person to touch us, or take us from our cell.
A gentleman came in one morning and spoke in high commendation of some Arabians and Turks who stood at my right side; he said they would afford fine entertainment on a winter evening. Upon this recommendation they were all discharged from prison, and taken down stairs. After they had finished their fund of stories, and had not a word more to say, they were remanded back to prison, and one, who called himself Don Quixotte, was set at liberty. This man, being extremely witty, afforded fine sport for William, (for that was our proprietor"s name.) Indeed, for more than a fortnight he kept the whole house in what is called good humour. After Quixotte had concluded his harangues, William chose a "Man of Feeling" for his companion, who wrought upon his pa.s.sions in a way which pleased him vastly. William now began to put a higher value upon his prisoners, and to use them much more politely. Almost daily he held a little chit-chat with one prisoner or another. Mr. Hume related to him the history of England down to the Revolution, which he interspersed with a number of anecdotes about Germany, France, Italy, and various other kingdoms. Dr. Robertson then described the state of South America when first discovered, and related the horrid barbarities committed by the Spaniards when they stole it from the natives. William wept when he heard of their savage treatment of Montezuma. Rollin next spoke; he related to him the rise and fall of ancient empires; he told him that G.o.d was supreme governor among the nations; that he raises up one to great power and splendour, and putteth down another. He told him, what he did not know before, that G.o.d had often revealed to some men events which were to happen hundreds of years afterwards, and directed him to converse with me, and I could fully inform him on that subject. William resolved to converse with me at a future period, but having heard some of his relations speak rather disrespectfully of me, he was in no hurry.
At length my prison door was unlocked, and I was conducted to his bed-room.
[Ill.u.s.tration: HISTORY OF A BIBLE.]
My first salutation struck William. In the beginning, said I, G.o.d made the heavens and the earth; and then proceeded to make man, whom he placed in a garden, with permission to eat of every tree that was in it, except one. I then related the history of Adam, the first man: how he was urged and prevailed upon by the devil not to mind G.o.d"s prohibition, but to eat of the forbidden tree; and how by this abominable act he had plunged himself and posterity into misery.
William not relishing this conversation, closed my mouth, desiring me to say no more at that time.
A few days afterwards he allowed me to talk of the wickedness of the old world: how G.o.d sent Noah to reprove their iniquity, and to threaten the destruction of the whole world, if they did not repent and turn to the Lord; that the world were deaf to his remonstrances; and that G.o.d at last desired Noah to build an ark of wood, such as would contain himself and family; for he was soon to destroy the inhabitants of the earth by a deluge of water. This conversation was rather more relished than the former.
The next opportunity, I gave him a history of the ancient patriarchs, showing the simplicity, integrity, and holiness of their lives, extolling their faith in G.o.d, and promptness in obeying all his commandments. William became much more thoughtful than I had seen him upon any former occasion. What I told him he generally related to his friends at table. Their conversation was now more manly and rational; formerly they conversed only about horses, hounds, dress, &c. now about the history of the world, its creation, the remarkable men who had lived in it, the different changes which had taken place in empires, kingdoms, &c.
He was wonderfully taken with the account I gave of that nation whom G.o.d had chosen for his own people, viz. the Jews. I told him how wonderfully G.o.d had delivered them from captivity in Egypt; how he drowned in the Red Sea an army of Egyptians, with their king at their head, who were pursuing the Jews. But when I told him of the holy law of G.o.d, and expatiated a little upon it, he shrugged up his shoulders and said it was too strict for him. Well, William, said I, cursed is every one who continueth not in _all things_ written or commanded in that law. He pushed me aside, ran down stairs, and soon became sick and feverish. His mother begged of him to tell her of his sudden distress. He said I had alarmed him exceedingly; that he found himself a great sinner, and saw no mercy for him in the world to come. His mother came running up stairs, and in the heat of pa.s.sion locked me into my old cell, where I remained in close confinement for some days.
But William could not dispense with my company; accordingly I was sent for. I found him very pale and pensive; however, I faithfully told him, that the imaginations of the thoughts of the heart are only evil, and that continually. He said he lately began to feel that; he had tried to make it better, but could not. Upon this a stranger entered the room, and I was hid at the back of a sofa, because the family were quite ashamed that I should be seen talking with William. The stranger remarked that he had seen him talking with me, a.s.sured him that I would do him much more harm than good: that I had occasioned great confusion in the world, by driving many people mad. On this, they all joined in scandalizing my character, and I was again confined to my old cell.
But when my G.o.d enables me to fix an arrow in any sinner"s heart, the whole universe cannot draw it out. William was always uneasy when I was not with him; consequently he paid me many a stolen visit. I told him one day not to trust in riches, for they often took to themselves wings, and flew from one man to another, as G.o.d directed them. Job once possessed houses, lands, sheep, a flourishing family, all of which were taken from him in a few hours; but G.o.d never forsook him.
William"s friends got him persuaded to take a tour for a few weeks, to remove the gloom which hung upon his mind. He did so; but he returned more dejected than ever. The moment he arrived I was sent for to talk with him. I directed him to behold the Lamb of G.o.d who taketh away the sins of the world: I said there was no other name given under heaven among men, but the name of Jesus, by which they could be saved; that G.o.d so loved the world as to send his Son into it, to save it by his death. I then went over the whole history of the Saviour, from his birth at Bethlehem to his death on Calvary; describing his resurrection, and pointing out the evidence of it; then led his attention to Bethany, describing the marvellous circ.u.mstances attending his ascension to his Father; and testified to him the wonderful effects which followed in the immense increase of conversions to the faith. I then enlarged upon Christ"s commission to his apostles, commanding them to publish to every creature under heaven the glad news that Christ had died for the _unG.o.dly_; had finished redemption, and ascended up on high to receive gifts for men, and to bestow them on all who believed G.o.d"s testimony concerning him.