Chapter 10
“My backside always hurts every time I ride a carriage.”
“I agree, no matter how good the carriage is, it"s still uncomfortable.”
Becky strongly agreed with what I said.
Women wear uncomfortable dresses and ride carriages all the time, but it becomes especially unbearable when the carriage pa.s.ses through unpaved roads.
Even if I had to ride a car in India, it would still be so much better than this.
“The outer appearance of the carriage looks impressive, but why couldn"t anybody improve its riding conditions? It"s so uncomfortable wearing a dress and riding the carriage.”
Men, too, would be uncomfortable riding carriages. However, it is incredibly challenging and hard for women to endure the uncomfortable ride, as they have to maintain a straight posture throughout the journey to prevent their dresses from wrinkling or falling apart.
“Well, isn"t it because n.o.ble women should be virtuous all the time? Or because they shouldn"t show their discomfort?”
“What kind of nonsense is that? Aren"t women human beings too? Voicing out what makes people uncomfortable is what makes the world advance.”
Usually, it"s the little discomfort that pushes the world towards development.
Becky seemed moved by what I had just said.
“Miss is probably the only one who thinks like this.”
Well, it"s true. The women of this world are busy competing on who is the most "lady-like" while pulling others down.
Why do they have to undermine their opponent and bring them down at the expense of their own discomfort? It really doesn"t make sense.
But then again, the same goes for Korea. It was a place where the compet.i.tion was excessive.
Who had a better appearance, took better care of their body, had good specifications, met a perfect match, or whose life worked out the best, etc.
Why does one have to live trying to meet other people"s standards?
So what if a person"s appearance is not so great, what if after eating delicious food, they gained some weight, what"s so wrong about that.
Everyone"s standard of happiness is different.
And as for me, I cannot stand this discomfort anymore!
Getting a little motion sickness from all the rattling the carriage was making, I opened the window to get a little air when some familiar figures caught my attention.
Oh!
A handsome man with a curly, pinked-haired, rabbit-like woman.
“Becky! Look over there! There!”
Following the direction where my finger was pointing, Becky also pushed her head out the window.
“What is it, my lady?”
“That pink hair!”
Were you also one of the male side characters?
How many fishing rods does she have spread around! It"s as though this whole world is her fishing ground!
You, author thing. What kind of hormones did you give her? I want some too!
Sir Ca.s.sion, who seemed as though he went through the whole market, had his hands full of paper bags while Iris walked alongside him.
I guess it was fortunate that Sir Ca.s.sion"s expression wasn"t affectionate. Looks like he still hasn"t fallen under the female lead"s spell.
The carriage pa.s.sed by them quickly, and a thought suddenly popped into my head.
All the other guy"s beside Iris had some kind of skill or talent, does that mean that Ca.s.sion also has skills beyond an average knight?
“You women dare have meat on your table and eat!”
The table that was set on the ground, flipped upside down. "That" grabbed Mother"s hair while breathing heavily.
“So-jin collapsed this time due to lack of nutrition. What are you doing to a kid who"s studying diligently…”
“Studying? She"s a girl, how dare you interfere and say she wants to study. You"re just making me pay hospital bills for no reason… I should"ve just put her to work in a factory right after graduating from middle school.”
"That" kicked the table several times while his hands still grasped Mother"s hair.
I sat there, spoon in my hand, frozen. I was terrified. I didn"t want to resist and get hit.
If I fought back, I wouldn"t be able to graduate from high school and I would also get stuck in a factory, working.
“Since you"re studying now, go find yourself a good husband so that you can support this household–and don"t dream about going to university.”
“Why is it so noisy? I can barely concentrate on studying.”
The door next to the living room creaked open and the familiar face of my little brother came into view.
Here I was, being scolded for trying to eat a few pieces of meat left behind after my brother ate to his heart"s content, while he just looked like he had just come out of bed.
“Oh, did my Woo-jin finish studying? What is a man doing out of his room just because of a little noise? Now, now, go back into your room, and continue with your studies.”
“I was so immersed but not anymore. I"ll go get some air and come back.”
“Aren"t you taking money with you? A man"s pocket should always contain money.”
“I don"t have money with me! Dad, give me a little.”
The hand that was grabbing Mother"s hair let go.
He then took out several 10,000 won bills from his pocket and gave them to Woo-jin.
I"ve never received money from "That," not even once.
Woo-jin went out just like that after receiving the money. "That" kicked the table one more time then headed towards the room.
“Soo-jin, Mom is sorry. Mom is really sorry.”
Mother spoke quietly while clasping both her hands to her mouth.
I let out the breath I was holding.
Then slowly used the spoon to shove some rice into my mouth.
While chewing, I thought, it was sad that I won"t be able to eat food anymore.
I couldn"t do anything in front of "That". I was scared and I didn"t want to be sick anymore.
I couldn"t even think of running away. He said that we have to live under his protection because he"s protecting us.
But won"t I be able to live by myself when I become an adult?
If I"m no longer young, then will I no longer need anyone"s protection?
“My pretty and smart daughter, Mom is sorry for not being able to do anything.”
I picked up the fallen table and all the side dishes that were on the floor and put them back into the plastic containers.
Though we had a table, I never once ate a decent meal, and though we had gla.s.s plates, I was never allowed to use them because I was a woman.
“Don"t apologize. I"m very thankful to you. Just wait until I"m 20. When I become 20 years old I"ll leave first, then you should go and live your life doing the things that you want to do Mom. I"m sorry.”
I know that Mother is an adult. She doesn"t need anyone"s protection, and that she"s just enduring 18 years of being bound just for my sake.
Glancing through the kitchen window, instead of being greeted with bright sunlight, all I could see was the half-covered ground.
“Mom, I"m going to work harder so that I"ll be able to survive on my own without relying on anybody.”
The iron bars placed on the window felt constraining. This house was underground. This house that I"ve lived in all my life since I was born.
This house is where I am again today.
In this bas.e.m.e.nt house, where it was wrong to be born as a woman.
When I was younger, my dream was to escape from that house.
To protect myself, I"ve made up my mind. I wanted to succeed, and for them to witness my successful attempt.
Then I opened my eyes.
Looking around, I could see that this wasn"t the place where my family and I lived. It wasn"t my house nor a European Medieval-ish styled room.
“…I was scared.”
It was still dark. I raised my body and hugged my knees.
I thought that it was rather fortunate, that I was here and that this was my reality.
10 years have pa.s.sed since then and I"m still unable to break free from that place.
How much more do I have to achieve to change? I"m still afraid of "him."
Mother, how were you able to overcome all that? Why didn"t you tell me anything before leaving? I miss you.
“I didn"t know that I"d be so relieved that this was all a dream.”
I wanted to cry but tried not to. After Mother left, I never cried again.
Mother told me to live confidently and I had to obey her.
When morning came, Becky made her usual visit to Raylene"s room.
When she opened the door, she saw the lady burying her head between her knees.
“My lady? Are you alright?”
Becky"s lady, Raylene, raised her head and smiled awkwardly.
It was the first time since serving Raylene that Becky had seen such an expression.
"Did she have a nightmare?"
Becky thought, “If she"s going to smile with that kind of face, it would have been better if she would just cry without holding back.”