Chapter [120]:...Im A Subst.i.tute?
I died... immediately after the evolution, I died.
Not once, not twice, not thrice...but 38 times.
I...just disappeared when the evolution was complete?
[Yes]
...how?
[We were created for the soul purpose of James to take over when we completed the evolution for him]
...
...
...
Then what...about my memories?
[All fake, He spent most of the first loops trying to get more information on Elijah, So to torture him.
And...for fun...just for the f.u.c.king purpose of having fun...
Implanted those memories in us, a subst.i.tute soul that The Oblivion Dragon created for him.]
...so I was a tool?
[Yes, we were a tool just to pa.s.s the evolution period.]
Then what about the time I spent training with Benson?The time I spent...with my sister?
[Samantha Peccator was undesirable to his plans, He would only care for her when the Oblivion Dragon was watching, otherwise, he would always toss her aside.
And sometimes, he would just patiently wait until her curse killed her.]
...no...he was someone...who takes care of the ones under him.
[Wake up, he never did, that b.a.s.t.a.r.d always acted.
He implanted false memories in us.
That was us, we were the ones who didn"t want subconsciously to become like him.
So...while we were being formed...we inherited qualities that he would never possess.]
[Those qualities...are what made us different from him.]
...So I"m a fake?
[No! We are Real!]
....But I"ve never lived...for myself?
[Do so now!]
[Listen, the Oblivion Dragon is coming...we won"t be able to stop him for long while we are focused on our separation.
Just listen to me.
The Oblivion Dragon is different from The Jade snake.]
[He"s very different...and we hold within ourselves something he cherishes.]
[...He may very well be the best ally...or the worst enemy.]
***
[Ara.n.u.s:The original Alans POV]
I entered the white s.p.a.ce within his soul.
It was hard at first, but then it became easy due to his powers trying to focus on separating themselves from me.
And when I did come here, all I saw was a young man with my face but possessing Diamond-Blue eyes and Pure snow-white hair.
So he is the subst.i.tute I created that gained a conscious.
Poor thing.
... I feel guilty.
I let James run free even though I knew it was wrong.
What could I have done at that time?
When I was so weakened by both the reincarnation of James" soul and the creation of a subst.i.tute soul for him to use for his own very weak soul.
I lament.
But it"s....refreshing to see.
That is when I Implanted her soul within the subst.i.tute soul to keep it safe.
It was safe.
Thank the holy dragon.
I walked towards him.
Even though I didn"t expect him to gain sentience, I walked over to the being that I carefully designed...the being that held the last embers of Armanas Soul.
A soul that had been separated from its body.
...by my very own hands...when I was being controlled.
"Never give up...fighting."
I remembered her last words.
Thank the holy dragon I had taken control quickly later using my last wisps of power to save her soul from extinction.
And...then when I was met with his gaze...I stopped.
A gaze of Malice, of hatred.
The one I had seen in my enemies before I ended them.
...don"t show me that.
Not you...not you who possesses a fragment of her soul.
I...know I"m guilty.
I know I am guilty.
... I know.
I know that I"m the worst person to you currently.
...but I will make amends.
I have let Jame run for far too long.
I should"ve kept him in control.
"...You can hate all you want."
I said.
Yes, hate me.
I deserve to be hated...especially by you.
"I know I have done wrong. I know that i-
"
"Shut your f.u.c.king mouth."
I was interrupted by him.
I truly wonder.
What exactly am I doing at times...just how much have I yearned for freedom that I have lost it all?
My parents...my sister, My world.My love, my...sanity.
I tried so hard for it happens.
I created you for...him.
I never thought you would develop.
I never thought you would gain sentience...
Am...I really to blame?
Hah, hah.
"...how foolish of me to think so."
I thought.
I had fallen so deep in my desire for freedom.
That...a dragon...justified my actions.
"...Why?"
I heard him.
"...just why him? Why could you not create...me first?"
[Why did you choose that b.a.s.t.a.r.d?]
I could see through his words.
"I had no choice...at that time I was too inexperienced with the soul.
So I chose him, a soul from another universe who deep inside was broken.
Broken enough, evil enough to scare the abyss itself.
I was too inexperienced at the time to create a new independent soul, unlike a... never mind."
...
...
...
"...all the times I died...just FOR HIM TO TAKE OVER?
WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I SPENT BEFORE THE EVOLUTION?!
What...about my...life before?"
I heard his rage.
And I answered it.
To the best of my...capabilities I guess you could say.
"You lived it.
He didn"t live it for you. You lived it yourself.
Granted, he took over after your evolution, but still...you."
I did not find any words to say.
I couldn"t...
How am I supposed to calm down a child having a mental breakdown?..to the point he does not even know what to ask?
I have....only killed.
I have never comforted a child.
I couldn"t even do so to my dying sister.
...in many ways, he"s better than me.
He loved Samantha.
I...could not love her like a brother would love his sister.
...
...
I..i...am...pathetic.
I laughed at myself.
And before his screams...of his screams telling me to f.u.c.k off..to disappear.
I understood his rage.
He was a puppet-like me...I had unknowingly created someone just like me.
I had unknowingly created a puppet that served only one purpose.
How would one feel when they realized they were nothing?
When they were useless to change their fate.
When...they....realized they were a puppet for another goal.
...no I knew the pain.
I knew the pain very well.
So I knew what I must do now for him.
... I must simply leave and let him be alone.
To collect his thoughts.
And I did.
And yet, I still wondered...was it because I understood his pain...or the fact that I?
...acted like a coward running away from his duty.