6
The hochgeboren Graf von Winterfeld was also a light sleeper that night, but then he was one of these people who sleep little and play chess problems in their heads to while away the time--and that night he had a particularly difficult problem to solve.
He came in upon Bert while he was still in bed in the glow of the sunlight reflected from the North Sea below, consuming the rolls and coffee a soldier had brought him. He had a portfolio under his arm, and in the clear, early morning light his dingy grey hair and heavy, silver-rimmed spectacles made him look almost benevolent. He spoke English fluently, but with a strong German flavour. He was particularly bad with his "b"s," and his "th"s" softened towards weak "z"ds." He called Bert explosively, "Pooterage." He began with some indistinct civilities, bowed, took a folding-table and chair from behind the door, put the former between himself and Bert, sat down on the latter, coughed drily, and opened his portfolio. Then he put his elbows on the table, pinched his lower lip with his two fore-fingers, and regarded Bert disconcertingly with magnified eyes. "You came to us, Herr Pooterage, against your will," he said at last.
""Ow d"you make that out?" asked Bert, after a pause of astonishment.
"I chuge by ze maps in your car. They were all English. And your provisions. They were all picnic. Also your cords were entangled. You haf" been tugging--but no good. You could not manage ze balloon, and anuzzer power than yours prought you to us. Is it not so?"
Bert thought.
"Also--where is ze laty?"
""Ere!--what lady?"
"You started with a laty. That is evident. You shtarted for an afternoon excursion--a picnic. A man of your temperament--he would take a laty.
She was not wiz you in your balloon when you came down at Dornhof. No!
Only her chacket! It is your affair. Still, I am curious."
Bert reflected. ""Ow d"you know that?"
"I chuge by ze nature of your farious provisions. I cannot account, Mr.
Pooterage, for ze laty, what you haf done with her. Nor can I tell why you should wear nature-sandals, nor why you should wear such cheap plue clothes. These are outside my instructions. Trifles, perhaps. Officially they are to be ignored. Laties come and go--I am a man of ze worldt. I haf known wise men wear sandals and efen practice vegetarian habits.
I haf known men--or at any rate, I haf known chemists--who did not schmoke. You haf, no doubt, put ze laty down somewhere. Well. Let us get to--business. A higher power"--his voice changed its emotional quality, his magnified eyes seemed to dilate--"has prought you and your secret straight to us. So!"--he bowed his head--"so pe it. It is ze Destiny of Chermany and my Prince. I can undershtandt you always carry zat secret.
You are afraidt of roppers and spies. So it comes wiz you--to us. Mr.
Pooterage, Chermany will puy it."
"Will she?"
"She will," said the secretary, looking hard at Bert"s abandoned sandals in the corner of the locker. He roused himself, consulted a paper of notes for a moment, and Bert eyed his brown and wrinkled face with expectation and terror. "Chermany, I am instructed to say," said the secretary, with his eyes on the table and his notes spread out, "has always been willing to puy your secret. We haf indeed peen eager to acquire it fery eager; and it was only ze fear that you might be, on patriotic groundts, acting in collusion with your Pritish War Office zat has made us discreet in offering for your marvellous invention through intermediaries. We haf no hesitation whatefer now, I am instructed, in agreeing to your proposal of a hundert tousand poundts."
"Crikey!" said Bert, overwhelmed.
"I peg your pardon?"
"Jest a twinge," said Bert, raising his hand to his bandaged head.
"Ah! Also I am instructed to say that as for that n.o.ble, unrightly accused laty you haf championed so brafely against Pritish hypocrisy and coldness, all ze chivalry of Chermany is on her site."
"Lady?" said Bert faintly, and then recalled the great b.u.t.teridge love story. Had the old chap also read the letters? He must think him a scorcher if he had. "Oh! that"s aw-right," he said, "about "er. I "adn"t any doubts about that. I--"
He stopped. The secretary certainly had a most appalling stare. It seemed ages before he looked down again. "Well, ze laty as you please.
She is your affair. I haf performt my instructions. And ze t.i.tle of Paron, zat also can pe done. It can all pe done, Herr Pooterage."
He drummed on the table for a second or so, and resumed. "I haf to tell you, sir, zat you come to us at a crisis in--Welt-Politik. There can be no harm now for me to put our plans before you. Pefore you leafe this ship again they will be manifest to all ze worldt. War is perhaps already declared. We go--to America. Our fleet will descend out of ze air upon ze United States--it is a country quite unprepared for war eferywhere--eferywhere. Zey have always relied on ze Atlantic. And their navy. We have selected a certain point--it is at present ze secret of our commanders--which we shall seize, and zen we shall establish a depot--a sort of inland Gibraltar. It will be--what will it be?--an eagle"s nest. Zere our airships will gazzer and repair, and thence they will fly to and fro ofer ze United States, terrorising cities, dominating Washington, levying what is necessary, until ze terms we dictate are accepted. You follow me?"
"Go on!" said Bert.
"We could haf done all zis wiz such Luftschiffe and Drachenflieger as we possess, but ze accession of your machine renders our project complete.
It not only gifs us a better Drachenflieger, but it remofes our last uneasiness as to Great Pritain. Wizout you, sir, Great Pritain, ze land you lofed so well and zat has requited you so ill, zat land of Pharisees and reptiles, can do nozzing!--nozzing! You see, I am perfectly frank wiz you. Well, I am instructed that Chermany recognises all this. We want you to place yourself at our disposal. We want you to become our Chief Head Flight Engineer. We want you to manufacture, we want to equip a swarm of hornets under your direction. We want you to direct this force. And it is at our depot in America we want you. So we offer you simply, and without haggling, ze full terms you demanded weeks ago--one hundert tousand poundts in cash, a salary of three tousand poundts a year, a pension of one tousand poundts a year, and ze t.i.tle of Paron as you desired. These are my instructions."
He resumed his scrutiny of Bert"s face.
"That"s all right, of course," said Bert, a little short of breath, but otherwise resolute and calm; and it seemed to him that now was the time to bring his nocturnal scheming to the issue.
The secretary contemplated Bert"s collar with sustained attention. Only for one moment did his gaze move to the sandals and back.
"Jes" lemme think a bit," said Bert, finding the stare debilitating.
"Look "ere!" he said at last, with an air of great explicitness, "I GOT the secret."
"Yes."
"But I don"t want the name of b.u.t.teridge to appear--see? I been thinking that over."
"A little delicacy?"
"Exactly. You buy the secret--leastways, I give it you--from Bearer--see?"
His voice failed him a little, and the stare continued. "I want to do the thing Enonymously. See?"
Still staring. Bert drifted on like a swimmer caught by a current. "Fact is, I"m going to edop" the name of Smallways. I don"t want no t.i.tle of Baron; I"ve altered my mind. And I want the money quiet-like. I want the hundred thousand pounds paid into benks--thirty thousand into the London and County Benk Branch at Bun Hill in Kent directly I "and over the plans; twenty thousand into the Benk of England; "arf the rest into a good French bank, the other "arf the German National Bank, see? I want it put there, right away. I don"t want it put in the name of b.u.t.teridge.
I want it put in the name of Albert Peter Smallways; that"s the name I"m going to edop". That"s condition one."
"Go on!" said the secretary.
"The nex condition," said Bert, "is that you don"t make any inquiries as to t.i.tle. I mean what English gentlemen do when they sell or let you land. You don"t arst "ow I got it. See? "Ere I am--I deliver you the goods--that"s all right. Some people "ave the cheek to say this isn"t my invention, see? It is, you know--THAT"S all right; but I don"t want that gone into. I want a fair and square agreement saying that"s all right.
See?"
His "See?" faded into a profound silence.
The secretary sighed at last, leant back in his chair and produced a tooth-pick, and used it, to a.s.sist his meditation on Bert"s case. "What was that name?" he asked at last, putting away the tooth-pick; "I must write it down."
"Albert Peter Smallways," said Bert, in a mild tone.
The secretary wrote it down, after a little difficulty about the spelling because of the different names of the letters of the alphabet in the two languages.
"And now, Mr. Schmallvays," he said at last, leaning back and resuming the stare, "tell me: how did you ket hold of Mister Pooterage"s balloon?"
7
When at last the Graf von Winterfold left Bert Smallways, he left him in an extremely deflated condition, with all his little story told.
He had, as people say, made a clean breast of it. He had been pursued into details. He had had to explain the blue suit, the sandals, the Desert Dervishes--everything. For a time scientific zeal consumed the secretary, and the question of the plans remained in suspense. He even went into speculation about the previous occupants of the balloon. "I suppose," he said, "the laty WAS the laty. Bot that is not our affair.
"It is fery curious and amusing, yes: but I am afraid the Prince may be annoyt. He acted wiz his usual decision--always he acts wiz wonterful decision. Like Napoleon. Directly he was tolt of your descent into the camp at Dornhof, he said, "Pring him!--pring him! It is my schtar!" His schtar of Destiny! You see? He will be dthwarted. He directed you to come as Herr Pooterage, and you haf not done so. You haf triet, of course; but it has peen a poor try. His chugments of men are fery just and right, and it is better for men to act up to them--gompletely.
Especially now. Particularly now."
He resumed that att.i.tude of his, with his underlip pinched between his forefingers. He spoke almost confidentially. "It will be awkward. I triet to suggest some doubt, but I was over-ruled. The Prince does not listen. He is impatient in the high air. Perhaps he will think his schtar has been making a fool of him. Perhaps he will think _I_ haf been making a fool of him."