Mason pulls me into his arms. "Please, for my sanity, don"t do that again. I can"t lose you."
I wrap my arms around Mason"s waist. "You won"t lose me," I rea.s.sure him.
Mason pulls back his head and I do the same. When our eyes meet, I can see the worry and love he holds for me in the depths of his eyes.
"If I ever lost you," he says, his voice low, "I think I would lose myself. I don"t think I would want to go on living."
"Don"t say that," I tell him, cupping his face in my hands. "Don"t ever say that. We don"t know what will happen in the future and if something does happen to me, I need to know you would be able to go on. Promise me you would find a way to live a full life."
"I can"t make that promise to you," Mason says, the shimmer of tears in his eyes. "Because I truly believe my heart would stop beating if yours did."
I feel tears of my own spill down my cheeks and I bring Mason"s face down to mine in a desperate kiss, one filled with a need to let him know how much I love him. Mason deepens the kiss, ravaging my mouth with his.
We quickly shed our clothes needing to feel the other without any obstructions in our way. Our love making is filled with a quiet desperation to prove we"re still alive. The world might be on the brink of disaster but one thing will remain steadfast in the face of everything, our love.
Afterwards as we lay on the couch spent of our energy, Mason cradles me in his arms and plants small, tender kisses filled with love all over my face, making me smile.
He then kisses my lips just as tenderly before bringing my naked body even more firmly against his.
"Can we just stay like this forever?" I ask, nuzzling the inside of his neck planting small kisses of my own against his tender flesh, loving the taste of him.
"I wish we could," he sighs, rubbing my back with one hand and letting it slide down to my hip to rest possessively there.
We"re both silent for a moment, basking in each others warmth, reveling in the feel of being utterly and completely loved by someone else. I can tell Mason wants to ask me something. He opens and closes his mouth twice before finally spitting it out.
"Did you mean what you said to Lucifer?" He finally asks.
I lift my head off his arm to meet his eyes. "Which part?"
Mason"s forehead creases as he says, "About there still being good left in him. Did you mean that?"
"Yes."
Mason shakes his head and closes his eyes but he doesn"t say anything else. There"s no need really.
I know he doesn"t understand how I can believe such a thing is possible. I feel sure he thinks I"m deluding myself by even entertaining such a possibility. I rest my head back down on his arm and against his chest. Knowing the history between Mason and Lucifer, I know the love of my life would never be able to completely understand what I see in my strange friend. I no longer feel that it"s Michael"s influence which makes me have a little faith in Lucifer. I know it"s me who has the desire to see Lucifer rise above what he"s allowed himself to become.
And I"m willing to risk my life to prove I"m right.
Chapter 19.
Mason ends up having to leave early the next morning but not after giving me a completely satisfying goodbye.
"I need to help Joshua and Nick finish moving everything to the new house," he tells me while I watch him stuff the bottom of his b.u.t.ton down shirt into his slacks and b.u.t.tons them.
I can"t help but sigh. I much prefer Mason naked and preferably in bed, any bed.
"When will you be back?"
He shrugs. "I can"t say for sure."
"Well can you at least come back and take me to Zack after I get dressed? He and I didn"t get to talk much to one another yesterday. I feel bad for just leaving him the way we did."
"I"m sure he understood. Rafe probably told him what was going on."
"I know but I feel like I should be there for all of them. I need to see him this morning."
Mason walks over to me and gives me a kiss.
"Call me when you"re ready," he says. "I"ll take you to him."
It doesn"t take me long to get ready, less than an hour.
Just before I call Mason to come and get me, I get a call from Faison.
"Have you seen the news?" She asks me.
"No," I say, not understanding why she"s asking me such a question.
"So," she says, taking a deep breath, "the world seems to think you"re engaged to Chandler Cain."
"What?" I say quietly, sure I misunderstood her. "Why would they think that?"
"There"s a picture of you and him in his suite in L.A. being splashed on every gossip site on the internet showing the 10 karat diamond you have on your ring finger."
"c.r.a.p," I say, remembering Deon looking at it suspiciously but not saying anything at the time. "Mason"s going to go ballistic."
"Who do you think told the news media?"
"I think I know," I say. "I"ll handle it. Chandler and I might just have to have a break up sooner than we thought. I"m not putting Mason through this unnecessarily. We"ll just have to find Chandler another cover story besides me."
When I get off the phone with Faison, I decide to text Mason instead of calling.
I have some bad news...
Your texting...not calling... it must be bad...
I sigh. He knows me too well.
Apparently one of Chandler"s entourage took a picture of me while we were in his suite the other day. With the biggest diamond in the world on my ring finger, that same world is now under the impression he and I are getting married...
I wait...and wait...and wait for a response. Since I don"t get one, I text him again.
How mad are you?
Still no response.
That mad, uh?
Give me a minute please...
Listen, I"ve already decided that Chandler and I need to end this charade. I will not have people thinking I"m about to marry him when I"m desperately, wholeheartedly in love with you. It"s wrong Mason. I can"t go on like this.
One second...I need to think clearly before I answer...
I wait. Five minutes later Mason appears in my living room.
The first thing I notice is a lot of what looks like white powder all over his shirt and black slacks.
"Why do you look like you were just hit by a large powder puff?" I ask him.
Mason clears his throat like he"s embarra.s.sed to say why.
"Because I put a few holes in a certain wall in the new house. It"ll have to be replaced now, of course."
I bite my bottom lip as I watch Mason try to dust himself off but the dry wall material doesn"t look like its going to come off that easily.
"I guess I should change," Mason says, giving up his futile efforts.
"I love you," I say, bringing his eyes to me instead of his ruined clothes.
"I know," he says back, trying to smile. "And I don"t like the charade either, but it works. It shouldn"t be for much longer. I can deal with it."
"But the world thinks Chandler and I are getting married."
"Let the world think it," Mason tells me. "We all know the truth. You know, I"ve been meaning to ask you why your neighbors have never said anything to the news outlets about you and me. They all saw us get engaged the other night yet I"ve never heard any of them ask about your relationship with Chandler."
"These people have been in my life forever, Mason. They know me. They know I love you. Plus, they"re not people to pry into my private life or gossip behind my back."
"But they could make a lot of money telling the real story."
"They"re my friends, Mason. They wouldn"t betray me like that. We don"t have to worry about them telling any nosey body reporters the truth."
My phone buzzes. It"s Chandler.
"h.e.l.lo hubby," I answer sarcastically.
"Oh G.o.d, Jess, I"m so sorry," Chandler moans. "How mad is Mason? Is he going to throw me through a wall the next time he sees me?"
"Well, if it"s any consolation, the wall already has a lot of fist size holes in it."
"That mad, uh?"
"No, he"s ok. He thinks we should just let the world continue to think what they want. But, Chandler, after this is all over, you and I need to have the mother of all fights in front of a large group of paparazzi."
"Agreed." Chandler pauses and I can tell he wants to say more because he doesn"t say goodbye or hang up.
"What"s up, Chandler?" I ask.
"It"s my folks. They want to meet you."
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose with my index finger and thumb.
"Are you seriously going to make me meet your parents and pretend that we are getting married? Do you realize how uncomfortable I will be just flat out lying to them?"
"I know," Chandler says, "but I can"t hold them off forever. They"ve been hounding me for a while now to bring you over to their house. Please, Jess. Just once to get them off my back and I promise you won"t have to meet them again while we"re pretending to be a couple."
I sigh heavily. "All right," I grumble. "When?"
"I"m not sure yet. I"ll get back to you when I set it up with my mom. Thanks, Jess. You"re the best."
When I get off the phone, I tell Mason what Chandler needs me to do for him.
"Do I need to remind him to keep his hands to himself during this little visit with the folks?" Mason asks tersely.
"No. Chandler knows what"s allowed and what"s not. He won"t do anything he shouldn"t. You don"t have anything to worry about as far as that"s concerned."
Mason runs his fingers through his hair and I can tell he"s still frustrated by the whole situation. I go to him.
"I don"t think it"ll be for much longer," I tell him, placing a comforting hand on his chest.
Mason places one of his hands over mine and squeezes gently. "I know. And I"m glad about that and scared by it all at the same time."
"Why scared?" I ask, tilting my head as I see the worry in his eyes. "Don"t you think we"ll win?"
"I"m scared about the cost of that win," he tells me and I can hear the dread in his voice.
I smile rea.s.suringly at him. "Everything will be fine. Don"t worry."
He squeezes my hand even tighter. "If anything happened to you..."
I see him swallow hard, not able to continue his thought. For some reason he seems fixated on the idea that something will happen to me.
Dusty or not, I move in closer to him and touch the side of his face which still holds the mark of what remains of his scar. He closes his eyes, enjoying my caress.
"Please, stop thinking that I"m going to get hurt. Nothing will happen to me."
"You keep saying that but you don"t know that for sure. You can"t promise me nothing will happen to you," he says, opening his eyes to look at me. "You"re going up against seven archangels, Jess. You can"t say anything for certain."
"Then it"s an even match, Mason."
"But Lucifer is strong. He was always one of the strongest."