Lucifer looks confused by my easy acceptance of his next visit but phases before giving anything else away.
"I don"t know how you can stand talking to him," Mason tells me.
I hear his disapproval of my relationship with Lucifer clearly in his voice.
I shrug. "I"ve gotten used to him, I guess. Is that strange?"
"Honestly? Yes, it is. I won"t lie about that. He is evil in its purist form, Jess."
"I know that, but sometimes when we talk I get the feeling there"s still a small sliver of good inside him wrapped up in his own darkness. Maybe all he needs is someone to have a little faith in him."
"Faith?" Mason scoffs. "I have faith that he"ll rip you from limb to limb one day just because he can. You can"t trust him, Jess. Not now, not ever!"
I feel my temper start to ignite and realize a part of me does consider Lucifer something of a friend. A good one? No. One I can trust? No. But one who has potential. There"s a part of me, whether due to Michael or not I"m not sure, that yearns to bring Lucifer back from the dark. To make him see he doesn"t have to be what he is.
"Even G.o.d said He still has hope Lucifer will come back to Him one day," I remind Mason. "Why should I think any differently? Or don"t you trust G.o.d"s judgment?"
"Of course I trust His judgment," Mason sighs, his shoulders sagging slightly. "But your safety is what has me worried here. Not only your physical safety but emotionally you"re allowing yourself to care for a creature who lost his ability to care for someone else a long time ago. I know him, Jess. I fought against him in the war. If you had seen him do the things I have, you wouldn"t trust him either."
c.r.a.p. I completely forgot all about that. Of course Mason wouldn"t understand my feelings for Lucifer. They had been mortal enemies at one time after all. Once an enemy, always an enemy seemed to be Mason"s mind set. I can"t blame him though. I suppose I would feel the same way if I had been through what he had. Add in the fact we just learned in the alternate world that Lucifer killed Mason during the war in Heaven there.
I close the lid on the box and set it on the rocking chair. I wrap my arms around Mason"s waist and feel his arms go around me too.
"I"m sorry," I say. "I"m sorry you had to go through that."
Mason sighs and I know he"s reliving that period of his life in his mind. I want to wipe the visions of death and slaughter from his memory, but I know I can"t do that. I can only hope to give him better things to think about.
I lift my head from his chest and he looks down at me with haunted eyes.
"I love you," I tell him, leaning up to brush my lips against his, reminding him that there is beauty in the world. "I will always love you."
Mason buries his fingers in my hair as he deepens the kiss but it isn"t demanding. Pa.s.sion is secondary in that moment because all either of us wants is for the other to feel how much we truly cherish one another. We end the kiss knowing how blessed we are to have found each other.
We go into my home hand in hand ready to face whatever happens next together.
Chapter 7.
Before we tell Chandler and JoJo what happened to us in the alternate reality, I ask, "What did G.o.d need to speak with you about after Mason and I went through the Tear?"
Chandler shrugs. "He didn"t say that much except that there would come a time when we would need to remember that our archangels are permanently connected. If you know what the h.e.l.l that"s supposed to mean, I"m all ears."
I sigh. "No, I don"t know why that"s important to know. I guess we"ll figure it out when the time comes."
"Mason," JoJo says, her eyes squinting at him. "You look different for some reason, mon ami."
Chandler stares at Mason which makes everyone stare at him. Mason shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
"I"m not sure what you"re talking about," Mason replies.
"You"re scar," Chandler says, "it"s like, almost gone."
I look closer at Mason and notice that Chandler is right. Why hadn"t I noticed that before? I guess it was because I never really noticed Mason"s scar that much in the first place.
Mason reaches up and touches the place where his scar is. Now it"s simply a slim line where the skin meets. Mason looks at me and I smile. He grins and shakes his head in disbelief. I don"t think he ever thought he would be able to forgive himself enough for it to shrink so much. I feel sure after we seal the Tear it will disappear completely.
We spend a good hour telling Chandler and JoJo what happened to us on the alternate Earth. JoJo becomes exceedingly excited to learn I can fly.
"Told ya you were wicked cool," Chandler says, winking at me.
"Can you do it whenever you want?" Leah asks.
"I really don"t know. I only did it the once. I still need some practice on my landings."
"I don"t know," Mason says, a corner of his mouth lifting in a half-smile. "I thought you landed rather perfectly the last time."
I roll my eyes at him not even going to acknowledge his statement with one of my own. But the word "incorrigible" comes to mind.
"Anyway, to answer your question, I don"t know. I guess I need to try to fly again soon."
"But we will not get flight?" JoJo asks, looking completely crest fallen.
"Apparently it"s a Michael only power," I tell her. "Sorry."
"Well, JoJo and I have been trying to fine tune our powers," Chandler tells me, pulling out the pipe we retrieved for him in the Cave of Treasures from his back pocket.
He puts it up to his lips and begins to play a sweet tune that makes me instantly feel happy. When he ends it, we"re all smiling, even Mason.
"I told you," Mason tells Chandler. "It"s not the instrument but the man who uses it that determines how it affects other people."
Chandler smiles shyly. It"s the closest he"s come to getting praise from Mason.
"Oh, oh! I made something for you," JoJo says to me, running into the living room and appearing quickly with her little black purse. From it, she pulls out a black chocker necklace made of braided silk with a silver star encrusted with sparkling crystals dangling from the middle.
"What does it do?" I ask, lifting my hair as she places it around my neck.
"It will stop you from becoming pleine," she tells me rather proudly.
Mason almost chokes on the coffee he just sipped.
Chandler hits him on the back in an effort to help clear his airway.
"Dude, you ok?"
Mason clears his throat and nods.
"Yes, I"m fine. Anyone else need some fresh coffee?" He asks, quickly standing from the table and going into the kitchen.
I"m scared to ask what "pleine" means now considering how Mason just reacted. My father and Remy are looking at me funny too. Apparently, they understand French. I decide to inquire about the meaning of the word later because I"m not sure I want it explained to me while everyone is staring at me.
"Thanks, JoJo. It"s beautiful."
"Jessi," my dad says and I immediately hear the concern in his voice, "could I have a word with you in private?"
I feel like a little girl who"s about to get a talking to from her father.
My father stands and I follow him into the living room. I see Mason watching me walk out of the room with a worried look which in turn makes me feel even more paranoid.
My father sits down on the couch and I sit down next to him.
"I"m a.s.suming you don"t know what pleine means," he says, a wistful smile on his face.
"No, I don"t," I confess cautiously. "And from the way you and Mason are reacting, I"m not sure I want to."
My dad"s smile turns into a full fledged grin. "Pleine means pregnant."
I feel blood rush to my face immediately. No wonder they started to act so weird.
I close my eyes and shake my head. "Not exactly something you want your father to hear," I say.
"So are you and Mason..." my father lets the rest of his sentence hang in the air unfinished because we both know what he"s asking.
"Not yet."
"I see," my dad says, nodding his head. "But I take it you will be soon?"
"Do I really have to answer that question or can I plead the fifth?" I ask, leaning my elbows on my thighs and burying my face in the palms of my hands. "And please tell me you aren"t going to try to have "the talk" with me now because I"m pretty sure I know everything I need to know."
I hear my dad chuckle. "No, I"m not going to have "the talk" with you, and I can see the answer to my question for myself without you having to say it."
I spread my fingers and peek over at him through the slits. He looks worried. I sit up.
"What"s wrong?" I ask him. "Why do you look so worried? I"m not going to go to h.e.l.l for having pre-marital s.e.x am I? Because I really don"t think I could take an eternity with Lucifer."
My dad smiles. "No. You"re not going to h.e.l.l. It doesn"t work that way. If it did, Heaven would practically be empty. Besides, you and Mason love each other. It"s different. But, honestly, I just thought Mason might be the one who would want to get married first. He seemed rather old fashioned when we talked while you were recovering from what Asmodeus and Mammon did to you."
I sigh and slouch against the back of the couch.
"He does want to get married," I tell my dad. "But I don"t know if I want to."
"Why not? You do love him right?"
"With everything that I am."
"Then what"s holding you back? Why don"t you want to get married?"
"I don"t know," I admit. "Every time it"s brought up, I get this panicked feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, do we really have to get married? As long as we love each other, I don"t see what it matters."
"Marriage is a declaration of that love," my dad tells me. "It shows the world that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, through thick and thin. It"s a way to show how committed you are to one another. I don"t think Mason is a man who would be completely happy without being married to the woman he loves."
I know my dad is right. Mason would go through life unmarried if I asked him to, but could I really be that selfish? I sit and think, trying to filter through the reasons I don"t want to get married.
1. I don"t really love Mason....h.e.l.l no, definitely not it. I love him beyond reason.
2. I don"t think we"ll get along as a married couple...No possibility of that ever happening either. We get along too well.
3. I think he"ll cheat on me.... I laugh. No chance of that ever happening either. Mason is as loyal as the day is long.
4. I don"t want to have to walk down the aisle in front of all our friends and family in a big poufy white dress and have them gawk at me....My stomach churns and I feel like I"m going to be sick. Yep, that"s the one.
"It"s the wedding," I tell my father. "I don"t want the wedding."
"Oh," my dad suddenly looks disappointed.
"What? Why do you look like I just shot your dog?"
"Well, I was hoping since I"m allowed to be in your life now that I could give you away at your wedding."
Men. Geesh.
Isn"t it supposed to be me who wants the sweet romantic wedding with all the bells and whistles? But no, it"s the men in my life who get all mushy about it.
"Maybe there can be a compromise," I suggest, not wanting my dad to look like I"m going to make him miss one of those monumental moments in my life.
If he looks this disappointed, I can"t imagine what Mason"s reaction would be if I suggest just going to the Justice of the Peace for a quickie ceremony. A picture of Mason looking completely devastated appears in my head and I quickly squash it out like a bug running across the floor of my mind. No, I can"t have that. I"ll think of something.
"He hasn"t actually popped that particular question yet. We had a talk about it and I basically told him I didn"t want to get married," I say.
"You know he wants to."
I sigh. "I know. Don"t worry. I"ll think of something."
The gears in my mind begin to go into overdrive as a plan forms.
Remy walks into the living room.
"Hey, could I talk to you guys for a second?" he says to us, taking a seat in the chair by the couch.
"What"s wrong, Remiel?" My father asks.
Remy scratches his beard like he"s not completely sure how to start what he wants to say.
"It"s about where Leah"s crown is."