"...No."
"Oh, you"re just now going? Awesome. Then let"s go together."
Her large eyes whirling over me, she made the invitation exuberantly, and my chest felt even more like it was ripping apart.
"I"m sorry, I can"t go today."
"What? But-"
I apologized again and moved toward the automatic doors at the entrance, as if fleeing.
"Oh-Konoha..."
Coward.
I felt as if someone right next to me had said that, the voice stabbing into my ear.
That evening, I got a call from Takeda.
"What happened today, Konoha?"
"I just remembered something I had to do all of a sudden."
"Are you suuuure?" she asked in a cheerfully suspicious voice.
"Nanase was totally depressed, too, so something"s up."
When I said nothing, Takeda gave a little laugh, surrendering. "Well, I"m sure you have your reeeeasons. Nanase looked pretty defeated, so you know her boyfriend"s gotta follow up with her about that."
Feeling as if layers were being sc.r.a.ped away from my heart, I responded, "Uh-huh." Instantly my throat squeezed tight, and breathing became more difficult.
"Seriously, try to take care. Oh, by the way...I ran into Tohko"s little brother at the hospital."
"Ryuto?"
"Yeah. He had flowers, so I think he was visiting someone. And then-"
Takeda"s voice broke off suddenly, and her thoughtful silence dragged out.
Just as I was starting to get suspicious...
"Oh, sorry. It"s nothing."
She said it in a slightly singsong tone; from there she went back to her usual cheerful voice.
"I should get going. Good night, Konoha."
"Okay, good night."
And then the conversation was over.
I looked down at the cell phone on which our call had ended and debated whether or not to write a message to Kotobuki or to call Akutagawa, but I bit down on my lip and closed the phone.
Note: I just couldn"t allow it, just couldn"t stand it, and I made the call. I hung up in the middle of it. Phones are so useless.
You outspoken, uppity jerk! Don"t say my name like you know me!
But maybe-just maybe-he could come in handy.
B hates the sight of her, too, apparently. She said Konoha was just riding her influence.
B"s plan is pretty good. I"m positive Konoha will come see me.
Chapter 5-The Defeated Youth.
I couldn"t talk to Akutagawa the next day, either.
If anyone knew the story behind Kotobuki falling down the stairs at the hospital, it would probably be him.
But I couldn"t figure out a good lead-in to that conversation.
I was thinking about Akutagawa all during cla.s.s.
During math, the teacher called on Akutagawa, and as he stood up and went to the blackboard to write his answer, I watched his perfectly straight back clad in his uniform and felt a sting. Because of that, my heart was crushed, and when he finished writing his answer and came back, I dropped my eyes and pretended to be reading my textbook.
During the break, I felt someone"s eyes on me and turned around and saw that Akutagawa was looking over at me and frowning with a tortured, melancholy look. Again, I felt as if talons were clamped onto my chest, and I hurriedly turned back around.
"Kazushi is like your friend Mine."
"Mine betrayed you and hurt you, too....Just like how Kazushi is ignoring you."
Miu wasn"t even here. But it was as if she stood between Akutagawa and me, beaming.
I was the one who"d said I needed time, so I had to be the one to start talking to Akutagawa.
School ended without us ever saying a word to each other, and I headed to the hospital feeling bleak.
I couldn"t see Kotobuki yet, feeling like this.
Gritting my teeth against the creaking pain in my chest, I climbed the stairs with legs heavy like lead and knocked on the door to Miu"s room.
"Come in, Konoha! I"ve been waiting for you!"
Miu was in bed with her cell phone open, but she snapped it closed, and a shining smile came over her face.
There were orange and yellow roses arranged in a vase, which decorated her bedside table.
The flowers hadn"t been there when I"d left yesterday.
"Those are pretty flowers...did someone come visit you?"
Miu bent her lips in apparent displeasure.
"A relative. They"re obnoxious, and I don"t like them. I wish they"d stop coming," she said; then her face broke immediately into a grin. "Oh! But you"re different, Konoha! I wait for you, heart pounding, every day. When the bell at the train station rings, I think, Oh, I wonder if Konoha is coming again today."
As I found myself near the verge of melting into her sweet eyes, I forced my voice out.
"Miu, there"s something I want to ask you about what happened with Kotobuki."
"No!"
Miu whipped her head away.
"I don"t want to talk about a malicious person like her."
I felt a twinge in my chest.
"Miu, did Kotobuki really do something mean to you? Are you sure you didn"t misinterpret it?"
When I said that, Miu turned around and glared at me.
"Are you doubting me? You believe her more?"
Pinned down by her vehemence, I swallowed my words, and Miu asked me, her face serious, "Konoha, do you...like me?"
Her eyes the color of tea looked straight up into mine.
"C"mon...do you?"
Ever since we were little, Miu had often teasingly asked me, "Do you like me?"
"Konoha, do you like me? Look me in the eye and say it."
I would get embarra.s.sed, and my cheeks would turn bright red, and I would stumble over my words, and when she saw that, Miu would always giggle in amus.e.m.e.nt.
But the way Miu looked at me right now was colder than back then, was more transparent, and it was like my heart had been run through with the naked blade of a sword.
"Well? Tell me. Do you like me, Konoha?"
I do...
I tried to tell her that, but the words came to a halt, as if they were being shoved down my throat.
"If you really do like me, don"t ever speak to Kotobuki or Kazushi again."
"I can"t..."
"Make a promise like that?"
Inclining her head. Her fingers, warm with the heat of her body, slowly tracing across my cheek and chin. Her long nails lightly sc.r.a.ping my skin. Each time a faint electric current running down my spine.
Looking at me with a cold face, Miu threw off her blankets with one hand. She pulled up her nightdress and showed me her bare white legs.
"My nails grew out. Will you cut them for me?"
"Wh-?"
"There"s nail clippers in the basket."
"But-"
Her eyes filled with a gentle smile at my hesitation.
"I can"t cut them on my own. Please."
A tangle of transparent threads closed sharply around my chest.
Fumbling through the basket next to the vase of flowers, I found the cute, sky-blue nail clippers mixed in with a brush and lip gloss.
Miu"s face grew cold again. She sat on the edge of the bed and dangled her legs over the side.
When I knelt down on the floor, her exposed legs were thrust into my line of sight.
I hesitantly touched her delicate ankle, and the fragrance of soap blossomed in my nose. Her toes, as small as a child"s, were pure white, as if they were made of wax. Her toenails weren"t as long as the ones on her fingers.
Click...
I clipped her pinkie nail. The white nail dropped onto my lap.
Miu gave a tiny smile and squirmed, as if it tickled.
The air grew suddenly humid, and sweat beaded on the back of my neck. And yet my fingertips were cold and rigid against Miu"s skin.
Click...
Click...!
Each time I cut a nail, the sound seemed to stab into my heart. Her fallen nails lay like the corpses of insects in my lap.