Astonished, I glanced around, taking in the hawsers coiled in every corner. Cords of rope similar to those I"d spotted on moored boats. The ship reeked of tar.
At the noise of heavy footfalls, I clenched my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. A kick rewarded my cunning while a voice barked, "Off with you, ship"s boy! Got to scrub the quarterdeck. Move it, or I"ll hang you from the boom."
The man kicked my side once more. I scrambled to my feet, wobbling on the moving deck. "Quicker, I tells you," the barking continued. "Go see the cook. He needs help with the grub."
Not knowing where the galley was, I wandered from the quarterdeck to the forecastle. The wind had risen and the sails puffed out their big white bellies, fat with the new breeze. The galleon I hadn"t learned her name yet listed, gliding on the water like a caress on smooth skin. The masts moaned as they resisted the wind. I met several crewmembers. Their faces held no encouragement but I felt rea.s.sured by their lack of interest in me. I changed my mind as soon as I b.u.mped into the man who had scolded me. His brown, almost black face contorted horribly as he glowered at me. "Ah! You refuse to obey, then? Well, we"ll teach you to be a sailor. Here, mates," he addressed two sailors. "Fetch two mooring lines. Let"s have some fun."
As if in a nightmare, the crew encircled me. Seeing silent laughter on those hard faces, I lost all hope. They would show me no pity.
"Well, seaman?" cried my torturer, who was the bosun, I guessed. "Are those lines coming?"
"Here we are," answered a voice.
A young sailor stepped up to us, holding a line hung with a weight on one end.
"Go ahead. Tie him up," the bosun ordered, nodding in my direction.
The sailor glanced at me and tried to object. "He"s just a kid. D"you think he can take it?"
"Do what you"re told and shut your hole."
"All right, all right," said the lad. "Just saying."
And without further hesitation, he began to put a rope around my waist. Another sailor approached with a second mooring line. The bosun beckoned the two sailors to the aft.
I watched them with a sinking feeling as one of them stood at starboard, the other portside, and they pa.s.sed the rope over the prow, and then let it slip under the hull. Now they were coming back for me. They tied the other end to the rope already around my waist, and I was caught in the middle of the two mooring lines. Crazed with panic, I could only glance around me, seeking mercy. Although I noticed pity on a few faces, most bore expressions of s.a.d.i.s.tic expectation.
Indifferent to these manoeuvres, the fleecy blue sea blossomed with white foam like lace crowning the billows, while the topmast, all sails out, stroked the variegated sky.
"Throw him over," bellowed my persecutor.
Several grips seized me. Coa.r.s.e laughter burst from all around as I was tossed over the side. Scared to death, I shut my eyes and stiffened, waiting for the shock of ice-cold water. But I had not reckoned with my tormentors" refined cruelty. They lowered me with maddening slowness toward the watery abyss. I tried to hold on to the sea-worn hull but only succeeded in excoriating my hands. Peals of laughter mingled with the sound of the restless sea. Finally, my feet touched the water. A strange calm filled my heart. I knew I should avoid breathing once submerged. Therefore, I waited to the very last, when the water reached my chin, to take in as much air as possible and hold my breath. Despite this precaution, my chest soon contracted in the most atrocious way. I was now being dragged to the other side, as slowly as I had been lowered into the sea. I could no longer endure it. I needed some air. I opened my eyes in the hope of seeing the brightness of daylight right above me, but I only glimpsed a terrible vision that obliterated the burning bite of the salt. I balanced under the hull. The boat, in the ghastly green glow of the underwater world, loomed over me like an immense dark monster.
I must have lost consciousness right then because I have no recollection of what happened next. Afterward I learnt that the captain, called to the deck by the commotion, gave the order to haul me up. Without his intervention, I would have died.
...I was stretched out on a hammock that swung with the rolling of the sea. The horizon became visible through the porthole. With each movement of the galleon, the line would sink and resurface, sink and resurface. This sight reminded me of my awful ordeal, and either fear or exhaustion robbed me of my senses again.
...Harsh sounds reached me. I opened my eyes. Night had fallen. A storm lamp moved back and forth. The wrinkled face bending over me made me think of the apples Mother used to place on the kitchen hearth to dry out. The man stared at me with beady eyes devoid of kindness but also free from any animosity. He was chewing a quid of tobacco that made his breath stink.
"You"re waking up at last, ship"s boy. Get up. Need to fill up your belly."
"How long have I been sleeping, sir?" I asked him.
"Three days, son. And there"s no "sir" "round here. I"m old Toine, the cook. And I need a helper. If you"re all right with it, I"ll take you on. I"ve got neither a good nor bad heart. But if you work for me, you"ll always get enough food. Eating"s the most important thing, son."
"Where are we going?"
"How come you don"t know? Didn"t you sign up for it?" Shaking his head, he went on. "We"re going to Peru to find gold for the Spaniards, if the English and the Dutch don"t sink us first."
"So we"re like what, pirates?"
"No, no, we"re just freighters." He shrugged.
Seeing by my puzzled look that I didn"t understand, he spat out a long spurt of brownish saliva and, after shifting his tobacco quid from one cheek to the other, he said in gruff tones, "Come on and eat. You look half dead."
I scrambled to my feet. The cabin spun around me but I followed my new boss to the galley.
The place was filthy. c.o.c.kroaches three times bigger than those I"d seen before scuttled among sacks of flour and sugar. Old Toine served me a vegetable soup that tasted delicious from the first spoonful. He watched me eat with a satisfied look on his wrinkled face. Like an artist who loves his painting, he loved his cooking and liked seeing others enjoy it.
When I emptied my bowl, he said, "Go get your hammock. You"re going to sleep with me in the galley. You"ll be better off here than with those pigs."
II.
A fortnight had pa.s.sed since I was forced aboard. The crew had tried to bull rush me on several occasions. But each time, old Toine intervened, pretending he needed me in the galley, even brandishing a large butcher knife under the crewmen"s noses. The men had grown tired of the game.
Early in the morning, I settled down on the deck to peel potatoes. I dreamt often, lost in that blue infinity. Dolphins interrupted my reverie with their playful breaking of the watery surface. They arced gracefully in mid-air, with the elegance of horses jumping over obstacles. The ship herself, sails spread and bowsprit piercing the horizon, was poised to rise and fly. As the day advanced, the king of stars flooded the deck with its golden rays. The gentle breeze filling our sails reminded me of my mother"s caresses when I was a little child. When night fell and my work was done, I came back to the deck. I loved watching the prow cut the phosph.o.r.escent waters while sprays captured tiny rainbows. I also loved spying the unknown stars that rose from the horizon to sow the dark vault of the sky under the still watches of the Great Bear.
My regrets and fears had slowly disappeared in the presence of all those wonders. I even surprised myself by holding my own with the crewmen. My journey seemed to continue in a peaceful way. One morning, however, we awoke in the middle of a strange silence. Toine leapt out of his hammock, crying like a madman, "It stopped. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d stopped!"
Then, spotting my bemused stare, he shouted, "Can you hear something? Can you?"
"No, no," I said, bewildered. "No, I don"t hear a thing."
"That"s our problem, idiot. The wind has stopped. There"s no current here on the Equator. We could be dead in the water for days."
He stormed out of the galley. I jumped down from the hammock and followed him. Outside, the sails hung limp, offering a scene of desolation. Sunbeams drew reflections in the still water, as smooth as an immense sleeping lake. Already the heat was growing unbearable. The crew went about their ch.o.r.es in unusual silence.
Toine spat over the side. "Take a good look, son," he said. "Even life seems to be hanging in midair. Let"s hope it won"t last." He clenched his teeth. "Or it"ll be h.e.l.l."
"Pull in the sails, you bunch of rascals!" the captain yelled, coming down from the bridge.
We waited for the wind to return for eight interminable days. The tension mounted. First water was rationed, then food. But the heat that a.s.sailed the ship spoiled the food. We had to throw it all overboard. Scurvy appeared. The men"s lips and gums became black and swelled to double their normal size. To relieve the suffering of these poor souls, the captain gave the order for rum. But the men asked for more, and soon we teetered on the brink of disaster, as our load of rum barrels was to be bartered for gold.
After forty days of forced immobility, the potatoes, the only food left, began to sprout. A foul stench rose from the hold. The horrendous odour convinced the captain to have us throw the precious vegetables overboard as well. This time, he met opposition from some crewmen. Nothing could make the menacing men listen to reason. They declared the rotting food was better than no food at all. Tired of arguing, the captain relinquished the potatoes into his sailors" hands. The men ate them as they were, without bothering to cook them. A few hours later, the crewmen died under their companions" horrified gazes. No one uttered a word of protest when the last sack of potatoes pa.s.sed overboard.
In the meantime, Toine and I fed on the flour the cook had set aside. I was ashamed of our secret but Toine maintained that our entire h.o.a.rd wouldn"t have sufficed to provide a single meal for all the men.
"Besides," he said, "do you think that if any of these rascals had food he would share it? They"d rather watch their best friend die. You forget quickly, son. These same fellows didn"t hesitate to give you a bath that almost killed you."
This last argument overcame my remorse. It was all I needed, for man is a coward intent on finding an excuse for his cowardice.
We had now been becalmed for fifty-five days. The last three days, we"d had neither water nor food. Tortured by thirst and hunger, the men wandered about the deck, a crazed glow in their eyes. The captain had ordered the boards nailed across the rum hold doubled, to avoid the risk of plundering. But one night we were awakened by a frightful racket. Armed with axes, the men were hacking their way into the rum hold, in spite of the captain"s shouting. And soon, judging by their joyful yells, we could tell they had succeeded. The captain"s voice had gone silent. He had probably returned to his cabin. After a moment, the men were back on deck. Toine and I spied on them through a porthole. They were in a state of extreme inebriation. Weakened as they were, it had not taken long for them to get drunk. They made such a frightening sight in the light of the storm lamps: faces with eyes so deeply sunken they looked like holes over monstrously swollen mouths. Most of these poor devils had already lost their teeth. They"d become so thin it was a wonder they were even able to put up such a tumult.
They sat around in groups. The bosun was with them, but in what seemed a normal condition.
Toine pointed a finger. "Of course that b.a.s.t.a.r.d put something aside for himself."
I couldn"t hold back a smile. Hadn"t the cook done the same?
We returned to our hammocks. In the stifling heat, we couldn"t go back to sleep. Toine had barricaded the door, which made the air inside the galley even more stale.
After a while, I had the feeling something new was happening on the deck. Toine warned me. "Stay awake, son. We"re in for some trouble. They"re jawing for now, but they"ll soon be knocking each other around. And that G.o.dd.a.m.ned wind isn"t rising."
A terrible scream resounded outside. Through the porthole, we spied a nightmarish scene. In a murderous frenzy, a few men faced one another, knives at the ready. Others, tottering and swaying, clamped their hands around their fellows" throats in a pitiful attempt to throttle them. Worse than animals, they harboured only murder in their hearts. I was horrified at first, but soon the struggles enthralled me. Yes. To my great shame, I stared in fascination.
When the captain appeared, armed with two pistols, the crewmen stopped for a moment, but the lull proved short-lived. A cutla.s.s flew across the deck and caught him in the throat. Blood spurted. The poor man staggered and fell, firing his pistols on the mutineers. One of them clutched his stomach and crumpled into a moaning heap.
The men, wild with fury at the sight of blood, grabbed the captain and moved to throw him overboard.
A voice shouted, "Why not eat him?"
The crew murmured then fell silent until, as one, the men flung themselves at the captain"s corpse and dismembered it in no time at all. A fight began over the miserable remains.
Struck with horror, I could not pull my gaze off the spectacle. My stomach sloshed with nausea as I watched the men who had won chunks of their captain"s body. Nothing human was left in these supposedly civilised beings while they stuffed flesh into their blackened mouths only pleasure was painted across their deformed faces.
Some of them, their appet.i.te unsatisfied, turned toward the wounded sailor who lay on the planks.
"No!" he screamed.
His body was torn apart and the crew battled again over the bleeding sc.r.a.ps.
I couldn"t sleep after witnessing this scene. Toine remained silent. Each time I turned, I spotted him swinging his hammock by tapping his foot on the rounded bulkhead. From time to time, he raised his upper body to spit a dark stream of saliva.
The heat had become so unbearable I asked, "What about opening up a bit?"
"Go ahead," he said. "The dogs have gorged themselves."
I hastened to leave the narrow apertures ajar.
A sickeningly sweet odour invaded our small galley, where no fresh air had penetrated for days. A fit of retching seized me.
"That"s blood, son," Toine said. "If you can"t stand it, shut your hole!"
I complied, but not before casting a last glance outside. The night had moved away, making the stars pale. The line where daylight emerged was streaked with gold. The men, now silent, stretched out on the deck, digesting their crimes. Some stared straight ahead with empty, wild eyes, as if they were seeking oblivion in the distance, where dawn broke into the beginning of a new, unsullied day.
III.
I awoke late in the morning. Around midday. In an overpowering heat. The atrocious scenes that had unfolded before my eyes sprang to mind and I sank in deep despair. Would it soon be my turn? What other end could I imagine to such a hideous situation? I must have let out a sigh because Toine"s voice resounded in that tiny s.p.a.ce.
"Well, then, son. Are you waking up?"
He stood next to a porthole. I stepped up to him and, stomach churning, I ventured a glance outside.
The macabre remains that littered the deck shreds of flesh sticking to fragments of bones had turned black as a result of the heat. And endlessly repet.i.tive mystery of life a big green fly that wasn"t aboard the day before was already buzzing about. The men had resumed drinking rum, in the absurd hope to quench their thirst, but now they could bear it no longer and, their insides on fire, shrieked and writhed in pain, hands clenched on bellies. Several of them, incapable of withstanding the agony, toppled overboard into the immensity of that undrinkable water.
Toine set his hand on my shoulder. "See, son? Men ain"t pretty when rage takes hold of "em. Worse than rabid dogs."
"What are they going to do now?" I asked in a shaky voice.
"Bah. They"ve tasted blood. When they get hungry again they"ll start all over, eating each other. Unless that G.o.dd.a.m.ned wind begins to blow."
The rolling pin on the kitchen counter moved. Toine grabbed my arm and squeezed. "Did you see that, son?" Since I didn"t seem to realise the importance of his words, he went on joyously, "The current! The current! Can"t you hear it? That"s the wind coming! By tomorrow, it will be blowing."
G.o.d be praised. The end of our terrible nightmare was nigh. I could hardly believe it. I burst into laughter and tears at the same time. Toine watched me, nodding. He seemed moved by my joy. "Better not rejoice yet, son. Our troubles ain"t over."
"But who will command the boat now?"
"Fear."
A shiver crept down my spine.
A few hours later, Toine and I were still locked in our galley. The heat had chased the remainder of the crew away from the deck.
"Can"t stand it anymore," Toine said. "I"m going to splash some water on to that f.u.c.king deck." Before unlocking the door, he slipped a knife and a pistol under his belt. I moved to follow.
"No, lad. Stay here." But, seeing the resolve on my face, he handed me another pistol. "Take this then."
The sun slapped the deck hard. We stepped into a furnace, our feet burning. We fetched two buckets, tied lines to them, and began to draw seawater, which we splashed down on to the bloodstains, now brownish. I was happy to leave Toine with the task of throwing the remains overboard. I would not have touched them for all the gold in Peru.
Most of the deck was clear when a sailor sprang out of a hatch, yelling, "Leave it! It"s my food. D"ye "ear? Leave it." He brandished an iron stick, or whelp. He was about to crack Toine"s skull open. Frozen by surprise, the cook hadn"t had the time to draw his weapons. I didn"t hesitate. I drew the pistol from my belt and fired on the madman without taking aim. A hole drilled in his forehead, the sailor collapsed. Stupefied, I stared at the corpse and began to shake.
"There, there, son." Toine tapped me on the shoulder. "It was him or me. He"d"ve had me for his next meal if it wasn"t for you." He leant down toward the sailor, to make sure he was dead. "Come on. Help me. Let"s throw him overboard before they think of eating him."
I grabbed the dead man"s feet, not without repugnance, and we swung the corpse into the water. A crowd of shark had encircled the ship since the crew"s repasts had filled the air with the reek of blood. They lunged at this unexpected prey and shredded it in the most hateful way.
We went back to the galley in silence. The inside of the cabin felt cool after the searing heat of the deck. We drank a little water, noting that our provisions were rapidly dwindling. Then we ate a small meal of flour, which Toine had moistened to make it edible. Neither the terrible stench nor the taste of mildew bothered us, so overwhelming was our hunger. Nevertheless, I realised I could not continue abusing my stomach for long.
Needless to say, Toine had locked the door as soon as we had stepped inside. An attack was to be expected at any moment. Luckily, we had plenty of bullets and gunpowder. We could only wait now. We stretched out on our hammocks.
As the hours pa.s.sed, the ship came back to life around us. I fell asleep.
Songs and screams from the deck awoke me. Night had fallen. They"re back at it again, I thought in despair. I propped myself up on my elbows and saw Toine standing in front of the porthole. The lamp was unlit. He clearly preferred not to attract attention.
"What"s going on?" I asked.
"Those idiots are starting on the rum all over again. If only, instead of sloshing their heads off, they had the idea of hoisting the sails, we"d be moving."
I got up and peered through the other porthole. The survivors sat around a cask of rum, ripped open. Among them was the bosun, who seemed to be in charge. They dipped their tin cups into the cask and drank, a large amount of the rum trickling down their beards and clothes. So far, they weren"t fighting.
I turned to Toine. "Don"t they seem calmer?"
"Don"t count on it, son. We"ll soon see some odd things if the rum doesn"t kill them first."
Feeling exhausted, I went back to my hammock. Hunger and thirst held me in their grips, but I didn"t dare to say anything to Toine, who suffered as much as I did and didn"t complain. Besides, he could do nothing about it. We were almost out of water, and we were wise not to eat much of the flour left. An image of the man I had killed a.s.saulted me. On his forehead, a red flower grew and grew until it became enormous. The petals parted, and from the centre a stem sprouted suddenly. Like a pointed finger, it approached slowly, ready to suck me into the dead man"s skull. I screamed, and I must have screamed aloud because a hand shook me.
"Hey, there, ship"s boy. Shut up."
Toine"s face loomed over me. Although his voice sounded gruff, compa.s.sion shone in his eyes.