The White House

Chapter 72

Robineau returned; they started off again, and he lashed the horse as before. Ferulus tried to continue his declamation, but Robineau stopped him, saying:

"Later, my dear librarian; at dinner; I am in no condition to listen to you now. Love and happiness produce a peculiar effect upon my senses!

You don"t know what that is; you have never married, perhaps?"

"I beg your pardon, monseigneur; I was married once, and I have had enough of it."

"And you, Uncle Mignon, were you ever married?"

"I! no, I don"t think so. Oh, no! no! that has never happened to me."

"Ah! when one has a heart so easily touched as mine, it produces a complete revolution. My bride is a perfect Venus, she is built like Minerva; and when I think that to-night--I beg pardon--let us stop again, if you please."

They stopped; Robineau alighted once more and glided behind a clump of trees. Monsieur Ferulus took a pinch of snuff, and cried:

""_Naturam expellas furca, tamen usque recurret!_""

Robineau soon reappeared; they drove on, and tried to make up for lost time by whipping the horse; but he went none the faster for it, and the bridegroom was in despair.

"Monsieur le marquis will be terribly angry," he said; "I am sure that they are at the mayor"s office already, and are waiting for us.

Messieurs, you are my witnesses that it is the horse"s fault."

"There is another cause, too," said Ferulus to Mignon, "but we will not mention that."

They were within a fourth of a league of Saint-Amand, when Robineau called another halt and alighted again, crying out:

"This is really cruel! I don"t know what it means!"

"Courage, monsieur!" said Ferulus: ""_Labor improbus omnia vincit!_""

"What on earth is the matter with him that he has to get out so often?"

Mignon asked Ferulus when Robineau was out of hearing.

"The matter with him! Why, haven"t you guessed yet? Parbleu! he has a _bilis suffusio!_ he says it"s the effect of love. At all events, if it lasts twenty-four hours, it will put him in a very false position!"

Robineau returned, reentered the carriage and they reached the town at last. The bridegroom inquired for his father-in-law"s chariot, and was told that for more than half an hour, the bride, her relatives, and the whole company had been waiting for him at the mayor"s office, and that they had already sent back two messengers to find out what could have become of him.

Robineau drove toward the mayor"s office, lashing his horse and crying:

"What will they say to me? perhaps monsieur le marquis feels insulted!

And my bride! suppose that she should be angry with me! fortunately my friends are with her."

They arrived at the mayor"s office. The marquis was pacing the main hall with an angry expression; the young men were chatting with the ladies; Monsieur Berlingue had already made several epigrams upon the bridegroom"s delay; the old annuitant did not utter a word, he saw in the future only the repast that he was to enjoy; and the Chevalier de Tantignac observed, to pacify Monsieur de la Pincerie:

"At the wedding of a cousin of mine, the bridegroom kept us waiting five minutes only; but when he arrived his betrothed had married another man, to teach him to be more prompt in the future."

But Robineau appeared, followed by his two companions.

"Monsieur de la Roche-Noire," cried the marquis, tapping the floor with his cane, "do you know that it isn"t decent to keep people like us waiting?"

"My dear father-in-law, it isn"t----"

"Whom do you think you are marrying? Do you imagine that you are marrying a mere plebeian?"

"No, certainly not, monsieur le marquis; but I----"

"But you deserve that I should not bestow my daughter"s hand upon you, to teach you to keep us baying at the moon for an hour."

"My most honored father-in-law, here are my witnesses. Ask your brother and Monsieur Ferulus, and they will tell you that if I did not arrive earlier it was not for lack of desire to do so."

"That is very true," said Ferulus; "it was not the desire that was lacking."

"It was our horse"s fault entirely," continued Robineau; "it was he who defeated our impatience."

"Yes, yes," said Mignon, "it was the horse and--a _bilis suffu_----"

Robineau trod upon Mignon"s foot, and bruised two corns, to keep him quiet; on the contrary, it made him shriek like one possessed; but n.o.body listened to him, and they proceeded to the civil ceremonies, during which the bridegroom seemed decidedly ill at ease, which condition was attributed to excitement and joy. Then they left the mayor"s office and reentered the carriages to go to the church, although it was only two steps away; but it would not have been seemly to have arrived there on foot. But the bridegroom did not enter his carriage; he disappeared on leaving the mayor"s office, and they arrived at the church without him. There monsieur le marquis noticed that his son-in-law was absent again, and as the church was filled with people, and as in a small town a wedding is a great event, Monsieur de la Pincerie was furious with Robineau, who had spoiled the triumphal entry, and compelled the ceremony to be suspended.

"Where is he, where is he now?" cried the marquis, while Cornelie glanced over the crowd, saying:

"Why, this is inconceivable! it is absolutely indecent! to keep us waiting twice in succession! If the affair had not gone so far, I would break it all off!"

"Why did you leave him?" Monsieur de la Pincerie asked his brother Mignon and Ferulus.

"We did not leave him, it was he who left us, saying: "Go on, I will overtake you.""

"But what the deuce can he have to do at the very moment of his wedding?"

Mignon scratched his nose and Ferulus compressed his lips.

"Love has turned his brain," said Alfred.

"Monsieur, the proprieties and etiquette should go before love. Corbleu!

If I had not formed the plan of marrying my daughter--But he doesn"t come! he cannot say this time that it was the horse that detained him."

At last Robineau appeared, flushed and perspiring and gasping for breath; he glided to the side of his bride and his father-in-law; the latter seized his hand and squeezed it fiercely, saying in his ear:

"Monsieur, you will give me satisfaction after the ceremony."

Robineau no longer knew where he was; luckily for him, the contracting parties were summoned to the altar. He walked thither with Cornelie; the ceremony began, and while it was in progress, Monsieur de la Pincerie, who had become calmer, reflected that it would not be proper to challenge his son-in-law on the very day of his wedding.

The ceremony was at an end. Cornelie had become Madame de la Roche-Noire, and Robineau had ceased to be a bachelor. They received the compliments, the congratulations, sincere or insincere, of the persons who had come to witness the nuptial benediction; then they left the town and returned to the chateau, still in the same order as in the former journey; but Robineau did not stop the carriage once.

It was four o"clock when they reached the chateau. The ladies went at once to their apartments to change their dresses; for women who go much into society, who attend many fetes and b.a.l.l.s and ceremonies, spend a large part of their life in dressing and undressing.

About a dozen persons who were invited to the dinner soon joined the company already a.s.sembled at the chateau. At each new arrival, monsieur le marquis took Robineau by the hand and went forward to meet those who entered the salon, saying solemnly:

"I present my son-in-law to you."

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