She was fair to look upon, not so much the mirror as her own awakened consciousness told her that. She was meet to dance with Miss Le Pett.i.t at the Flora, could she but obtain one thing more--the white satin sash.
CHAPTER VI: IN WHICH LOVEDAY ESSAYS TO OBTAIN THE WHITE SATIN RIBAND
Chapter VI
IN WHICH LOVEDAY ESSAYS TO OBTAIN THE WHITE SATIN RIBAND
With a high heart Loveday began her quest for the work which was to earn for her the coveted white satin sash. She had but three weeks in which to make a matter of several shillings, and this meant that she must sell every moment of the time which was hers when her duties about her aunt"s were discharged for the day. In the morning she was busy with cleaning and cooking till almost mid-day, and in the evenings she had the milk to fetch, but in the afternoons she could be sure of a few hours if Aunt Senath did not guess she wanted them for herself and invent tasks. On Mondays, of course, the washing kept her all day at the tub, and on Fridays at the mangle, on Sat.u.r.days there was the baking of the bread, while Thursday, being market day, she was supposed to keep house while Aunt Senath went in to Bugletown--a task that s.l.u.t of a woman was too fond of for its chances of gossip to send her niece in her stead. On Thursdays Loveday was wont to stay in and see to the mending, but she reflected that, by sitting up in her bed at night to darn and patch by the light of the wick that floated in a cup of fish-oil, she might take charge of some neighbour"s children on that day instead and Aunt Senath be none the wiser. Loveday had a sad lack of principle, doubtless an heritage from her heathen father.
On the afternoons of Tuesdays and Wednesdays, she hoped to help in some house with the cleaning, or in some slattern"s abode with the weekly wash, for, as all know, there are some such s.l.u.ts that the washing gets put off from day to day, till Sat.u.r.day finds it still cluttering the washhouse instead of being brought in clean and sweet from the gorse-bushes.
Then there were always odd things to be done, such as running errands, at which she hoped to earn some pence here and there. The white riband seemed no impossible fantasy to Loveday when she started on her quest.
She went first to visit old Mrs. Lear, at Upper Farm, for no one had shown such a kindly front to the girl in all the village as she. Loveday started out for the milk half-an-hour earlier than was her wont so that she might have time to discuss her hopes with the farmer"s wife, and this time she did not meet young Mrs. Lear or her friend Cherry on the way. But she did come upon both Mrs. Lears in the big kitchen, the younger seated in the armchair in front of the fire and the elder anxiously regarding her. Primrose had been fretful ever since hearing from her mother-in-law of Miss Le Pett.i.t"s visit of the day before, and of the unaccountable interest the heiress had shown in that f.a.ggot of a Loveday, and by now her fretfulness had a.s.sumed the size of an indisposition. In vain did Mrs. Lear try and cosset and comfort her with potions both hot and cool; Primrose knew well that beneath the kindness of the farmer"s wife lurked the feeling that it was not for one in her station to indulge in such vapours as might well befit the gentry, and that she would be cured sooner by taking a broom to the best carpet than by sitting and keeping the fire warm. Primrose sulked, and even handsome Willie, leaning by the window, wanting to be away yet dreading the outburst did he move, could not persuade his wife that nothing ailed her but too much idleness. Neither, though to their robust health it would have seemed so, would it have been all the truth, for Primrose was taking her condition more hardly than most girls who have had the good fortune to wed with a prosperous young farmer, and the thought that she would not be able to dance in the procession with the rest of the world at the Flora had for some time past embittered her. To enter the house, after her anger with Loveday and the flash of fear that the strange half-foreign girl had filled her with, only to find that the great Miss Le Pett.i.t had offered that very girl to dance with her ... this was poisonous fare indeed for one in the discontented mood of Primrose Lear.
The heaviness of her mind matched with that of her body as she hunched over the fire.
Sight of Loveday, a Loveday oddly changed from that of the day earlier, did not ease her sickness; the light in Loveday"s eye, the fresh exhilaration of her step--she, who was wont to slip along with so much of quiet aloofness--stung the other girl anew. Loveday greeted Mrs. Lear eagerly before she saw that Primrose was sitting half-hidden by the wings of the big chair, her face, paler than its wont, in shadow, pallid like a face seen through still water. Then she saw also handsome Willie, dark against the small square panes of the window, the April sun gilding the curve of his ruddy cheek and making the pots of red geraniums along the sill blaze as brightly as the beautiful blossoms of painted wax that, under their gla.s.s shade, held an example of neat perfection up to Nature.
Willie nodded at Loveday with a trifle less of sulkiness in his manner, took a step forward and relapsed once more. A little silence seemed to catch them all, broken by good Mrs. Lear saying:
"You"m early to-day, Loveday. Milken"s not over yet."
"I"m come to see you a moment, if "tes possible," said Loveday, some of her shining confidence already fallen from her, she knew not why.
"Well," said Primrose spitefully, guessing her presence would embarra.s.s Loveday, "Mrs. Lear"s here and I daresay"ll speak to "ee. Can"t be any secret from me, of course, whatever "tes."
Mrs. Lear, suddenly sorry for Loveday, although Primrose on entering the day before had told her a tale that had angered her, said:
"Come into dairy, Loveday; you can tell me what "tes while I see to your aunt"s bit of b.u.t.ter."
Loveday followed her into the cool dairy, where on the scrubbed white wood shelves the great red earthen pans stood in rows holding their thick crinkled cream, which Loveday never saw without a thought of awe for her mother"s miracle, and the waves that had surged over her father"s head. Thought of it now restored her sense of her own power--the cream was ever for her a symbol of divine interposition, and if her own parents had been found worthy of such a sign, why should not she too have that something apart and strong which forced signs from the very heavens, that something apart which indeed she could not but feel sure she possessed, never with such a gladness in the certainty until the miraculous yesterday?
Eagerly she unfolded her plans to Mrs. Lear, her words falling forth in a rush as hurried as a moorland stream after rain, yet as clear too, and as she spoke of her hopes and plans her black eyes scanned Mrs. Lear"s face more in faith than anxiety. But Mrs. Lear wore a strange look that to one less eager than the girl would have shown as pity.
"Softly, Loveday, softly," she said at last, "while I see if I can get to the rights of this. You want to earn money for yourself this next month to buy your white riband with. Have "ee thought "tes an extravagant purchase for a maid like you, who should be putten any money into warm flannel or a pair of good boots?"
"I don"t want boots, Mrs. Lear, I don"t want nothing on the earth but my satin sash so I can dance with her in the Flora. I want it more than to save my soul, that I do; I"ll go through anything to get it. I"ll work like ten maids for "ee and for anyone else that"ll have me, so as I can dance in the Flora..."
"Hush, hush," cried the good woman, justly scandalised by such unbalanced ravings from a maid of fifteen who should have had nothing but modesty in her mouth; "you mustn"t say such wicked things or I can"t stay here and listen to en."
Fear attacked Loveday, not for her own impious words, but lest she had shocked Mrs. Lear past helping.
"Mrs. Lear," she said urgently, "I don"t mean any wickedness, but indeed I can"t sufficiently tell "ee what it means to me to get my length of riband and dance in the Flora come May. I do believe I"ll die if I don"t. I don"t know how to find words to tell "ee, but "tes more to me than a white riband and a shaking of feet down Bugletown streets, "tes my life, I do believe ..." She added no word of Flora Le Pett.i.t, you perceive, but got a secret joy from being able to use her name thus unreproved in mention of the dance ... and who that has been a lover will not understand this?
"I would have had "ee up here to help now that Primrose is so wisht,"
replied Mrs. Lear doubtfully, "but simmingly only yesterday you had words, and indeed it was ill done of you, Loveday Strick, towards one in her condition, as you do very well knaw."
Loveday drooped her head. Idle to protest to Mrs. Lear that she had not been the first in fault. She waited breathless, the beating of her heart almost choking her. Mrs. Lear went on.
"If only Primrose could be made to overlook it, then I"ll have "ee and welcome, Loveday, and pay you a florin a week too, which would soon add up to enough. I"d be glad for "ee to stay on after the Flora too, for Primrose"s time"ll be near."
Loveday had no interest in what happened after the dance. Life would be all golden ever after, something wonderful and new would certainly begin; it was to mark the great division in her life, but grat.i.tude and the caution born of years of slights held her silent on that subject to the good Mrs. Lear.
"Wait "ee here," Mrs. Lear bade her, and herself went back into the kitchen. She was gone some minutes, that to Loveday dragged as weeks, though when she reappeared Loveday felt that the time of waiting had gone too soon, and she wished for it to begin once more, so much she dreaded to ask what had been said. Mrs. Lear spared her the need for questioning.
""Tes no manner of use, Loveday," she said, "Primrose won"t hear of it, and being as she is, I can"t contrairy her."
Loveday felt the futility of argument, and, indeed, in the violent reaction that attacks such ardent natures, she felt too numb to make the attempt even had she wished. She stood staring at Mrs. Lear with her eyes dark in her pale face and the first presage of defeat in her heart.
CHAPTER VII: IN WHICH LOVEDAY STILL ESSAYS TO OBTAIN THE WHITE SATIN RIBAND
Chapter VII
IN WHICH LOVEDAY STILL ESSAYS TO OBTAIN THE WHITE SATIN RIBAND
It were a weary task to chronicle all the ways trodden by Loveday during the three weeks that followed her visit to Upper Farm, and yet, even so, it would not be as weary as was the treading of them to that still ardent though fearful girl. Hers grew to be a dread that would have seemed to a spectator disproportionate indeed--for what can one heart know of the sickness of another"s, of its hurried beating when hope beckons, of its numb slackening when hope fails? How swift to Loveday seemed the relentless patter of the days past her questing feet, that, run hither and thither as she would, yet could not keep pace with Time"s urgency! How slow to Loveday seemed the ticking of each moment, since each held hope and fear full-globed, as in bubbles that rise and rise only to burst into the empty air! So each moment rose, rounded, to meet Loveday, held, and broke, till her mind was but a daze which confounded speed with slowness, till she thought the future would never be the present and found perpetually that it was the past.
After her failure with Mrs. Lear it occurred to Loveday to go where she should have gone in the first place--whither she might have gone had not some irk of conscience whispered her that her purpose was all too worldly--to the wife of the Vicar, Mrs. Veale. This Mrs. Veale was the good lady who had stood sponsor for Loveday on that day when Aunt Senath had perforce to blazon her sister"s shame at the font. Ever since that day Mrs. Veale had done her duty by Loveday without fail, instructing her in the catechism regularly and occasionally presenting her with the clothing of Miss Let.i.tia Veale--who was a couple of years older than Loveday--when the garments were outgrown and when they were suitable.
Mrs. Veale was too thoughtful a Christian to give Loveday artificial flowers or silken petticoats unfitted to her station, but flannels, thickened by so much washing that Saint Anthony of Egypt himself could not have divined a female within their folds, were always forthcoming to protect the orphan girl from wintry winds.
It was no day for flannel when Loveday knocked--with the timidity that always a.s.sailed her, to her own annoyance, when she was about to see her G.o.dmother--on the back door of the Vicarage. She heard her own voice, robbed of its warm eagerness, asking of the stout cook whether Mrs.
Veale could see her for a minute. The cook sent the housemaid to the Vicar"s lady with the request, and Loveday stood in the large, sunny kitchen smelling the strange rich foods preparing for the four o"clock dinner. There was butcher"s meat, she could smell that (she had tasted it at the harvest feast at Upper Farm, where it was provided for the labourers once a year), and there was a sweet pudding that she could see stirred together in a big white bowl, a pudding that smelt of sweetness like a posy. A noisy fly, the first of his kind, buzzed over the plate where the empty eggsh.e.l.ls lay beside the bowl, and from them crawled to the scattered sugar that sparkled carelessly upon the rim. Loveday, of old, would have had a second"s envy of the fly that could thus browse on what smelt so good; now the fine aromas affected her nostrils merely as incense might have those of her papist father--as the savour of the great house where dwelt those to be propitiated. For upon Mrs. Veale she now felt hope was fastened; it was from her almost sacred hands that salvation would flow. Fear and expectation took Loveday by the throat, so stifling her that the wide kitchen, the stout blue-print-clad cook, the bright pots and pans, the leaping flames, the savoury odours and the buzzing of the fly, all blended together before her dizzied eyes.
The figure of the housemaid, crisp in white and black, entered steadyingly, and with her voice, saying that the mistress would see Loveday Strick in the morning-room, the flow of the kitchen ebbed and subsided. Loveday followed the white and black through the long, narrow hall, where the fox"s mask grinned at her from above the fanlight of the door, to the presence of the Vicar"s wife.
Mrs. Veale was a personable lady, with a high and narrow brow, and a penetrating eye that few in the village could evade if they had aught upon their conscience. It was said, indeed, that she was better than a curate to her husband, for she could pa.s.s where a man could not in delicacy have gone, and few were the maids, and fewer still the housewives, who had not benefited by her counsel. She fixed that eye benevolently upon Loveday now; the lady stately in her black silk, the locket containing the hair of her departed parent, one-time a canon of Exeter, lying upon her matronly bosom; the girl awkward in her homespun wrapper, her feet fearful of standing upon the flowered carpet.
"Come in, Loveday," said Mrs. Veale kindly.
Loveday advanced a step and dropped her curtsey, but not a word could she say to explain her visit.
"What do you want to see me about?" asked Mrs. Veale briskly--for she was much busied in good works, and had no time to give over what was needful to each of them.
"If you please, ma"am, I want work," said Loveday.
Mrs. Veale looked her approval on hearing this most praiseworthy of the few sentences fit for use of the lower cla.s.ses. Even when there is no work to be had such sentiments should be encouraged, and without them she never unloosed that charity which, when the supply of work failed, she exercised for the good of her parishioners" bodies and her own soul.