Hereupon the dark ghost took another tone.
"Our fair but unfortunate victim has a sore throat to-night," he announced. "The performance is consequently postponed;" and he seated himself sulkily upon the coffin, when the limelight-man from the wings promptly bathed him in a flood of the most beautiful rose-colour.
"Oh, this is intolerable!" he exclaimed, starting to his feet.
"It is not first-rate, I agree," said John, "but, such as it is, we had better go through with it. Should the company doubt its genuineness, I can go around afterwards and show the brand on the cork." Here he tapped the leg, which he had been careful to bring with him.
Before this evidence of contract the ghosts" resistance collapsed.
They seated themselves on the coffin and began the casting of dice; the performance proceeded, but in a half-hearted and perfunctory manner, notwithstanding the vivacious efforts of the limelight-man.
The tall ghost struck his brow and fled from the stage. There were cries of "Call him back!" But John explained that this was part of the drama, and no encores would be allowed; whereupon the audience fell to hissing the villain, who now sat alone with the most lifelike expression of malignity.
"Oh, hang it!" he expostulated after a while, "I am doing this under protest, and you need not make it worse for a fellow. I draw the line at hissing."
"It"s the usual thing," explained John affably.
But when the ghostly lady walked on, and in the act of falling on her father"s body was interrupted by the pianist, who handed up an immense bouquet, the performers held another hurried colloquy.
"Look here," said the dark-browed villain, stepping forward and addressing John; "what will you take to call it quits?"
"I"ll take," said John, "the key which the lady has just handed you.
And if the treasure is at all commensurate with the fuss you have been making about it, we"ll let bygones be bygones."
Well, it did; and John, having counted it out behind the curtain, came forward and asked the pianist to play "G.o.d save the King"; and so, having bowed his guests to the door, took possession of the haunted house and lived in it many years with his bride, in high renown and prosperity.
THREE PHOTOGRAPHS.
"Photograph all the prisoners? But why?" demanded Sir Felix Felix-Williams. Old Canon Kempe shrugged his shoulders; Admiral Trewbody turned the pages of the Home Secretary"s letter. They sat at the baize-covered table in the Magistrates" Room--the last of the Visiting Justices who met, under the old _regime_, to receive the Governor"s report and look after the welfare of the prisoners in Tregarrick County Gaol.
"But why, in the name of common-sense?" Sir Felix persisted.
"I suppose," hazarded the Admiral, "it helps the police in identifying criminals."
"But the letter says "_all_ the prisoners." You don"t seriously tell me that anyone wants a photograph to identify Poacher Tresize, whom I"ve committed a score of times if I"ve committed him once? And perhaps you"ll explain to me this further demand for a "Composite Photograph" of all the prisoners, male and female. A "Composite Photograph!"--have you ever seen one?"
"No," the Admiral mused; "but I see what the Home Office is driving at.
Someone has been persuading them to test these new theories in criminology the doctors are so busy with, especially in Italy."
"In Italy!" pish"d Sir Felix Felix-Williams.
"My dear Sir Felix, science has no nationality." The Admiral was a Fellow of the Royal Geographical Society, and kept a microscope to amuse his leisure.
"It has _some_ proper limits, I should hope," Sir Felix retorted.
It annoyed him--a Chairman of Quarter Sessions for close upon twenty years--to be told that the science of criminology was yet in its infancy; and he glanced mischievously at the Canon, who might be supposed to have a professional quarrel with scientific men. But the Canon was a wary fighter and no waster of powder and shot.
"Well, well," said he, "I don"t see what harm it can do, or what good.
If the Home Secretary wants his Composite Photograph, let him have it.
The only question is, Have we a photographer who knows how to make one?
Or must we send the negatives up to Whitehall?"
So the Visiting Justices sent for the local photographer and consulted him. And he, being a clever fellow, declared it was easy enough-- a mere question of care in superimposing the negatives. He had never actually made the experiment; his clients (so he called his customers) preferring to be photographed singly or in family groups. But he asked to be given a trial, and suggested (to be on the safe side) preparing two or three of these composite prints, between which the Justices might choose at their next meeting.
This was resolved, and the resolution entered in the minutes; and next day the photographer set to work. Some of the prisoners resisted and "made faces" in front of the camera, squinting and pulling the most horrible mouths. A female shoplifter sat under protest, because she was not allowed to send home for an evening gown. But the most consented obediently, and Jim Tresize even asked for a copy to take home to his wife.
The Admiral (who had married late in life) resided with his wife and young family in a neat villa just outside the town, where his hobby was to grow pelargoniums. The photographer pa.s.sed the gate daily on his way to and from the prison, and was usually hailed and catechised on his progress.
His patience with the recalcitrant prisoners delighted the Admiral, who more than once a.s.sured his wife that Smithers was an intelligent fellow and quite an artist in his way. "I wonder how he manages it," said Mrs.
Trewbody. "He told baby last autumn that a little bird would fly out of the camera when he took off the cap, and everyone allows that the result is most lifelike. But I don"t like the idea, and I think it may injure his trade."
The Admiral could not always follow his wife"s reasoning. "What is it you dislike?" he asked.
"Well, it"s not nice to think of oneself going into the same camera he has been using on those wretched prisoners. It"s sentiment, I daresay; but I had the same feeling when he stuck up Harry"s photograph in his showcase at the railway station, among all kinds of objectionable persons, and I requested him to remove it."
The Admiral laughed indulgently, being one of those men who find a charm, even a subtle flattery, in their wives" silliness.
"I agree with you," he said, "that it"s not pleasant to be exposed to public gaze among a crowd of people one would never think of knowing.
I don"t suppose it would actually encourage familiarity; at the same time there"s an air of promiscuity about it--I won"t say disrespect-- which, ahem! jars. But with the prisoners it"s different,--my att.i.tude to them is scientific, if I may say so. I look upon them as a race apart, almost of another world, and as such I find them extremely interesting. The possibility of mixing with them on any terms of intimacy doesn"t occur. I am aware, my dear," he wound up graciously, "that you women seldom understand this mental detachment, being by nature unscientific, and all the more charming for your prejudices."
At the next meeting of Justices Smithers the photographer presented himself, and produced his prints with a curious air of diffidence.
"I have," he explained, "brought three for your Worships" selection, and can honestly a.s.sure your Worships that my pains have been endless.
What puzzles me, however, is that although in all three the same portraits have been imposed, and in the same order, the results are surprisingly different. The cause of these differences I cannot detect, though I have gone over the process several times and step by step; but out of some two dozen experiments I may say that all the results answer pretty closely to one or another of these three types." Mr. Smithers, who had spent much time in rehearsing this little speech, handed up photograph No. 1; and Sir Felix adjusted his spectacles.
"Villainous!" he exclaimed, recoiling.
The Canon and the Admiral bent over it together.
"Most repulsive!" said the Admiral.
"Here indeed,"--the Canon was more impressive,--"here indeed is an object-lesson in the effects of crime! Is it possible that to _this_ Man"s pa.s.sions can degrade his divinely inherited features? Were it not altogether too horrible, I would have this picture framed and glazed and hung up in every cottage home in the land."
"My dear fellow," interrupted Sir Felix, "we cannot possibly let this monstrosity go up to Whitehall as representative of the inmates of Tregarrick Gaol! It would mean an inquiry on the spot. It would even reflect upon _us_. Ours is a decent county, as counties go, and I protest it shall not, with my consent, be injured by any such libel."
Mr. Smithers handed up photograph No. 2.
"This looks better," began Sir Felix; and with that he gave a slight start, and pa.s.sed the photograph to the Canon. The Canon, too, started, and stole a quick glance at Sir Felix: their eyes met.
"It certainly is singular"--stammered Sir Felix. "I fancied--without irreverence--But you detected it too?" he wound up incoherently.
"May I have a look?" The Admiral peered over the Canon"s hand, who, however, did not relinquish the photograph but turned on Smithers with sudden severity.
"I presume, sir, this is not an audacious joke?"