When seating yourself at the table, unfold your napkin and lay it across your lap in such a manner that it will not slide off upon the floor; a gentleman should place it across his right knee. Do not tuck it into your neck like a child"s bib. For an old person, however, it is well to attach the napkin to a napkin hook and slip it into the vest or dress b.u.t.tonholes, to protect their garments, or sew a broad tape at two places on the napkin, and pa.s.s it over the head. When the soup is eaten, wipe the mouth carefully with the napkin, and use it to wipe the hands after meals. Finger bowls are not a general inst.i.tution, and yet they seem to be quite as needful as the napkin, for the fingers are also liable to become a little soiled in eating.
They can be had quite cheaply, and should be half-filled with water, and placed upon the side table or butler"s tray, with the dessert, bread and cheese, etc. They are pa.s.sed to each person half filled with water, placed on a parti-colored napkin with a dessert plate underneath, when the dessert is placed upon the table. A leaf or two of sweet verbena, an orange flower, or a small slice of lemon, is usually put into each bowl to rub upon the fingers. The slice of lemon is most commonly used. The finger tips are slightly dipped into the bowl, the lemon juice is squeezed upon them, and then they are dried softly upon the napkin. At dinner parties and luncheons they are indispensable.
Spoons are sometimes used with firm puddings, but forks are the better style. A spoon should never be turned over in the mouth.
Ladies have frequently an affected way of holding the knife half-way down its length, as if it were too big for their little hands; but this is as awkward a way as it is weak; the knife should be grasped freely by the handle only, the forefinger being the only one to touch the blade, and that only along the back of the blade at its root, and no further down.
At the conclusion of a course, where they have been used, knife and fork should be laid side by side across the middle of the plate--never crossed; the old custom of crossing them was in obedience to an ancient religious formula. The servant should offer everything at the left of the guest, that the guest may be at liberty to use the right hand. If one has been given a napkin ring, it is necessary to fold one"s napkin and use the ring; otherwise the napkin should be left unfolded. One"s teeth are not to be picked at table; but if it is impossible to hinder it, it should be done behind the napkin. One may pick a bone at the table, but, as with corn, only one hand is allowed to touch it; yet one can easily get enough from it with knife and fork, which is certainly the more elegant way of doing; and to take her teeth to it gives a lady the look of caring a little too much for the pleasures of the table; one is, however, on no account to suck one"s finger after it.
Whenever there is any doubt as to the best way to do a thing, it is wise to follow that which is the most rational, and that will almost invariably be found to be proper etiquette. To be at ease is a great step towards enjoying your own dinner, and making yourself agreeable to the company. There is reason for everything in polite usage; thus the reason why one does not blow a thing to cool it, is not only that it is an inelegant and vulgar action intrinsically, but because it may be offensive to others--cannot help being so, indeed; and it, moreover implies, haste, which, whether from greediness or a desire to get away, is equally objectionable. Everything else may be as easily traced to its origin in the fit and becoming.
If, to conclude, one seats one"s self properly at table and takes reason into account, one will do tolerably well. One must not pull one"s chair too closely to the table, for the natural result of that is the inability to use one"s knife and fork without inconveniencing one"s neighbor; the elbows are to be held well in and close to one"s side, which cannot be done if the chair is too near the board. One must not lie or lean along the table, nor rest one"s arms upon it. Nor is one to touch any of the dishes; if a member of the family, one can exercise all the duties of hospitality through servants, and wherever there are servants, neither family nor guests are to pa.s.s or help from any dish. Finally, when rising from your chair leave it where it stands.
DINNER GIVING.
THE LAYING OF THE TABLE AND THE TREATMENT OF GUESTS.
In giving "dinners," the apparently trifling details are of great importance when taken as a whole.
We gather around our board agreeable persons, and they pay us and our dinner the courtesy of dressing for the occasion, and this reunion should be a time of profit as well as pleasure. There are certain established laws by which "dinner giving" is regulated in polite society; and it may not be amiss to give a few observances in relation to them. One of the first is that an invited guest should arrive at the house of his host at least a quarter of an hour before the time appointed for dinner. In laying the table for dinner _all_ the linen should be a spotless white throughout, and underneath the linen tablecloth should be spread one of thick cotton-flannel or baize, which gives the linen a heavier and finer appearance, also deadening the sound of moving dishes. Large and neatly folded napkins (ironed without starch), with pieces of bread three or four inches long, placed between the folds, but not to completely conceal it, are laid on each plate. An ornamental centre-piece, or a vase filled with a few rare flowers, is put on the centre of the table, in place of the large table-castor, which has gone into disuse, and is rarely seen now on well-appointed tables. A few choice flowers make a charming variety in the appearance of even the most simply laid table, and a pleasing variety at table is quite as essential to the enjoyment of the repast as is a good choice of dishes, for the eye in fact should be gratified as much as the palate.
All dishes should be arranged in harmony with the decorations of the flowers, such as covers, relishes, confectionery, and small sweets.
Garnishing of dishes has also a great deal to do with the appearance of a dinner-table, each dish garnished sufficiently to be in good taste without looking absurd.
Beside each plate should be laid as many knives, forks and spoons as will be required for the several courses, unless the hostess prefers to have them brought on with each change. A gla.s.s of water, and when wine is served gla.s.ses for it, and individual salt-cellars may be placed at every plate. Water-bottles are now much in vogue with corresponding tumblers to cover them; these, accompanied with dishes of broken ice, may be arranged in suitable places. When b.u.t.ter is served a special knife is used, and that, with all other required service, may be left to the judgment and taste of the hostess, in the proper placing of the various aids to her guests" comfort.
The dessert plates should be set ready, each with a doily and a finger-gla.s.s partly filled with water, in which is dropped a slice of lemon; these with extra knives, forks and spoons, should be on the side-board ready to be placed beside the guest between the courses when required.
If preferred, the "dinner" may all be served from the side-table, thus relieving the host from the task of carving. A plate is set before each guest, and the dish carved is presented by the waiter on the left-hand side of each guest. At the end of each course the plates give way for those of the next. If not served from the side-table, the dishes are brought in ready carved, and placed before the host and hostess, then served and placed upon the waiter"s salver, to be laid by that attendant before the guest.
Soup and fish being the first course, plates of soup are usually placed on the table before the dinner is announced; or if the hostess wishes the soup served at the table, the soup-tureen, containing _hot_ soup, and the _warm_ soup-plates are placed before the seat of the hostess. Soup and fish being disposed of, then come the joints or roasts, _entrees_ (made dishes), poultry, etc., also relishes.
After dishes have been pa.s.sed that are required no more, such as vegetables, hot sauces, etc., the dishes containing them may be set upon the side-board, ready to be taken away.
Jellies and sauces, when not to be eaten as a dessert, should be helped on the dinner-plate, not on a small side dish as was the former usage.
If a dish be on the table, some parts of which are preferred to others, according to the taste of the individuals, all should have the opportunity of choice. The host will simply ask each one if he has any preference for a particular part; if he replies in the negative, you are not to repeat the question, nor insist that he must have a preference.
Do not attempt to eulogize your dishes, or apologize that you cannot recommend them--this is extreme bad taste; as also is the vaunting of the excellence of your wines, etc., etc.
Do not insist upon your guests partaking of particular dishes. Do not ask persons more than once, and never force a supply upon their plates. It is ill-bred, though common, to press any one to eat; and, moreover, it is a great annoyance to many.
In winter, plates should always be warmed, but not made hot. Two kinds of animal food, or two kinds of dessert, should not be eaten _off_ of one plate, and there should never be more than two kinds of vegetables with one course. Asparagus, green corn, cauliflower and raw tomatoes comprise one course in place of a salad. All meats should be cut across the grain in very thin slices. Fish, at dinner, should be baked or boiled, never fried or broiled. Baked ham may be used in every course after fish, sliced thin and handed after the regular course is disposed of.
The hostess should retain her plate, knife and fork, until her guests have finished.
The crumb-brush is not used until the preparation for bringing in the dessert; then all the gla.s.ses are removed, except the flowers, the water-tumblers, and the gla.s.s of wine which the guest wishes to retain with his dessert. The dessert plate containing the finger-bowl, also a dessert knife and fork, should then be set before each guest, who at once removes the finger-bowl and its doily, and the knife and fork to the table, leaving the plate ready to be used for any dessert chosen.
Finely sifted sugar should always be placed upon the table to be used with puddings, pies, fruit, etc., and if cream is required, let it stand by the dish it is to be served with.
To lay a dessert for a small entertainment and a few guests outside of the family, it may consist simply of two dishes of fresh fruit in season, two of dried fruits and two each of cakes and nuts.
Coffee and tea are served _lastly_, poured into tiny cups and served clear, pa.s.sed around on a tray to each guest, then the sugar and cream pa.s.sed that each person may be allowed to season his black coffee or _cafe noir_ to suit himself.
A _family dinner_, even with a few friends, can be made quite attractive and satisfactory without much display or expense; consisting first of good soup, then fish garnished with suitable additions, followed by a roast; then vegetables and some made dishes, a salad, crackers, cheese and olives, then dessert. This sensible meal, well cooked and neatly served, is pleasing to almost any one, and is within the means of any housekeeper in ordinary circ.u.mstances.
MEASURES AND WEIGHTS.
IN ORDINARY USE AMONG HOUSEKEEPERS.
4 Teaspoonfuls equal 1 tablespoonful liquid.
4 Tablespoonfuls equal 1 wine-gla.s.s, or half a gill.
2 Wine-gla.s.ses equal one gill or half a cup.
2 Gills equal 1 coffeecupful, or 16 tablespoonfuls.
2 Coffeecupfuls equal 1 pint.
2 Pints equal 1 quart.
4 Quarts equal 1 gallon.
2 Tablespoonfuls equal 1 ounce, liquid.
1 Tablespoonful of salt equals 1 ounce.
16 Ounces equal 1 pound, or a pint of liquid.
4 Coffeecupfuls of sifted flour equal 1 pound.
1 Quart of unsifted flour equals 1 pound.
8 or 10 ordinary sized eggs equal 1 pound.
1 Pint of sugar equals 1 pound. (White granulated.)
2 Coffeecupfuls of powdered sugar equal 1 pound.
1 Coffeecupful of cold b.u.t.ter, pressed down, is one-half pound.
1 Tablespoonful of soft b.u.t.ter, well rounded, equals 1 ounce.