"It isn"t only a case of conscience, dear; it"s one of common sense.
Conscience has a way of sometimes mistaking the issue, whereas common sense can generally be trusted to be right."
"Of course, if you"re going to talk that way, Miriam, I don"t see what"s left for me to answer; but it doesn"t sound very reverent, I must say. I"m trying to look at things in the highest light, and it doesn"t strike me as the highest light to be unkind to Billy when I needn"t be. If you think I ought to treat him cruelly you must keep your opinion, but I know you"ll excuse me if I keep mine."
She carried her head loftily as she bore another gown into the adjoining darkness, and Miriam waited patiently till she emerged again.
"Does your other--I hardly know what to call him--does your other fiance know about Billy?"
"Why on earth should he? What good would that do? It will be all over--I mean about Billy--before I announce my second engagement, and as the one to Billy will never be announced at all there"s no use in saying anything about it."
"But suppose Billy himself finds out?"
"Billy won"t find out anything whatever until I get ready to let him."
The finality of this retort reduced Miriam to silence. She allowed some minutes to pa.s.s before saying, with some hesitation:
"I suppose you don"t mind my knowing--who it is?"
Evie was prepared for this question and answered it promptly.
"I shan"t mind your knowing--by-and-by. I want you to meet him first.
When you"ve once seen him, I know you"ll be more just to me. Till then I"m willing to go on being--misunderstood."
During the three more weeks that intervened before the family dinner Miriam got no further light on Evie"s love-affairs. She purposely asked no questions through fear of seeming to force the girl"s confidence, but she obtained some relief from thinking that the rival suitor could be no other than a certain young Graham, of whom she had heard much from Evie during the previous year. His chances then had stood higher than Billy Merrow"s; and nothing was more possible than a discovery on Evie"s part that she liked him the better of the two. It was a situation that called for sympathy for Billy, but not otherwise for grave anxiety, so that Miriam could wait quietly for further out-pourings of Evie"s heart, and give her mind to the mysteries incidental to the girl"s social presentation to the world.
Of the ceremonies attendant on this event the "killing off" of the family was the one Miriam dreaded most. It was when she came within the periphery of this powerful, meritorious, well-to-do circle, representing whatever was most honorable in New York, that she chiefly felt herself an alien.
She could scarcely have explained herself in this respect, since many of the clan had been kind to her, and none had ever shown her incivility. It was when she confronted them in the ma.s.s, when she saw their solidarity, their mutual esteem, their sum total of wealth, talents, and good works, that she grew conscious of the difference of essence between herself and them. Not one of them but had the right to the place he sat in!--a right maintained by himself, but acquired by his fathers before him--not one of them but was living in the strength of some respectable tradition of which he could be proud! Endsleigh Jarrott"s father, for example, had been a banker, Reginald Pole"s the president of a university, Rupert Colfax"s a judge; and it was something like that with them all. In the midst of so much that was cla.s.sified, certified, and regular she was as obviously a foreign element as a fly in amber. She came in as the ward of Philip Wayne, who himself was a new-comer and an intruder, since he entered merely as "poor Gertrude"s second husband," by a marriage which they all considered a mistake.
With the desire to be as un.o.btrusive as possible, she dressed herself in black, without ornament of any kind, unaware of the fact that with her height of figure, her grace of movement, her ivory tint, and that expression of hers which disconcerted people because it was first appealing and then proud, she would be more than ever conspicuous against the background of brilliant toilets, fine jewels, and a.s.sured manners which the family would produce for the occasion. As a matter of fact, there was a perceptible hush in the hum of talk as she made her entry into the drawing-room, ostensibly led by Philip Wayne, but really leading him.
As she paused near the door, half timid, half bewildered, looking for her hostess, it did not help her to feel at ease to see Mrs. Endsleigh Jarrott--a Rubens _Maria de Medici_ in white satin and pearls--raise her lorgnette and call on a tall young man who stood beside her to take a look. There was no time to distinguish anything further before Miss Jarrott glided up, with mincing graciousness, to shake hands.
"How do you do! How do you do! So glad you"ve come. I think you must know nearly every one here, so I needn"t introduce any one. I hardly ever introduce. It"s funny, isn"t it? They say it"s an English custom not to introduce, but I don"t do it just by nature. I wonder why I shouldn"t?--but I never do--or almost never. So if you don"t happen to know your neighbors at table just speak. It was Evie who arranged where every one was to sit. _I_ don"t know. They say that"s English, too--just to speak. I believe it"s quite a recognized thing in London to say, "Is this your bread or mine?" and then you know each other. Isn"t it funny?
Now I think we"re all here. Will you take in Miriam, Mr. Wayne?"
A hasty embrace from Evie--an angelic vision in white--was followed by a few words of greeting from Charles Conquest after which Miriam saw Miss Jarrott take the arm of Bishop Endsleigh, and the procession began to move.
At table Miriam was glad of the dim, rose-colored light. It offered her a seclusion into which she could withdraw, tending her services to Wayne.
She was glad, too, that the family, having so much to say to itself, paid her no special attention. She was sufficiently occupied in aiding the helpless blind man beside her, and repeating for his benefit the names of their fellow-guests. As the large party talked at the top of its lungs, Miriam"s quiet voice, with its liquid, almost contralto, quality, reached her companion"s ears unheard by others. She began with Bishop Endsleigh who was on Miss Jarrott"s right. Then came Mrs. Stephen Colfax; after her Mr. Endsleigh Jarrott, who had on his right Mrs. Reginald Pole. Mrs.
Pole"s neighbor was Charles Conquest, whom she shared with Mrs. Rodney Wrenn. Now and then Wayne himself would give proof of that increased acuteness in his hearing of which he had spoken more than once since his blindness had become total. "Colfax Yorke is here," he observed at one time. "I hear his voice. He"s sitting on our side of the table." "Mrs.
Endsleigh Jarrott is next but one to you," he said at another time. "She"s airing her plans for the reconstruction of New York society."
So for a while they kept one another in small talk, affecting the same sort of vivacity that obtained around them. It was not till dinner was half over that he asked in an undertone:
"Who is your neighbor?"
"I don"t know," she managed to whisper back. "He"s so taken up with Mrs.
Endsleigh Jarrott that he hasn"t looked this way. I don"t think he"s any member of the family."
"He must be," Wayne replied. "I know his voice. I have some a.s.sociation with it, but just what I can"t remember."
Miriam herself listened to hear him speak, catching only an irrelevant word or two.
"He sounds English," she said then.
"No, he isn"t English. That"s not my a.s.sociation. It"s curious how the mind acts. Since I became--since my sight failed--my memory instinctively brings me voices instead of faces, when I want to recall anything. Aren"t you going to speak to him? You"ve got the formula: Is this your bread or mine?"
"It"s very convenient, but I don"t think I shall use it."
"He"d like you to, I know. I heard him say to Mrs. Endsleigh Jarrott as we came in--while Queenie Jarrott was talking--that you were he most strikingly beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. How"s that for a compliment from a perfect stranger?"
"I certainly sha"n"t speak to him now. A man who could say that to Mrs.
Endsleigh, after having seen _her,_ must be wofully wanting in tact."
Mary Pole on Wayne"s right claimed his attention and Miriam was left her own mistress. Almost at once her attention was arrested by hearing Mrs.
Endsleigh Jarrott saying in that appealing voice which she counted as the secret of her success with men:
"Now do give me your frank opinion, Mr. Strange. You don"t know how much I should like it. It"s far from my idea that we should slavishly copy London. You know that, don"t you? We"ve an entirely different stock of materials to work with. But I"m firmly convinced that by working on the London model we should make society far more general, far more representative, and far--oh, _far_--more interesting! Now, what do _you_ think? Do give me your frank opinion."
Mr. Strange! Her own name was sufficiently uncommon to cause Miriam to glance sidewise, in her rapid, fugitive way, at the person who bore it.
His face was turned from her as he bent toward Mrs. Jarrott, but again she heard his voice, and this time more distinctly.
"I"m afraid my opinion wouldn"t be of much value. Nevertheless, I know you must be right."
"Now I"m disappointed in you," Mrs. Jarrott said, with pretty reproachfulness. "You"re not taking me seriously. Oh, I see, I see. You"re just an ordinary man, after all; when I thought for a minute you might be--well, a little different. Do take some of that asparagus," she added in another tone. "It"s simply delicious."
It was while he was helping himself to this delicacy that Miriam got the first clear view of his face, half turned as it was toward her. He seemed aware that she was observing him, for during the s.p.a.ce of some seconds he held the silver implements idle in his hands, while he lifted his eyes to meet hers. The look they exchanged was significant and long, and yet she was never quite sure that she recognized him then. For the minute she was only conscious of a sudden, inward shock, to which she was unable to ascribe a cause. Something had happened, though she knew not what. Having in the course of a few minutes regained her self-control, she could only suppose that it was a repet.i.tion of that unreasoning panic which had now and then brought her to the verge of fainting, when by chance, in London, Paris, or New York, she caught a glimpse of some tall figure that carried her imagination back to the cabin in the Adirondacks. She had always thought that he might appear in some crowd and take her by surprise. She had never expected to find him in a gathering that could be called social.
Still less had she looked to meet him like this, with Philip Wayne who had sentenced him to death not three feet away. The mere idea was preposterous. And yet--
She glanced at him again. He was listening attentively while Mrs.
Endsleigh Jarrott"s voice ran on:
"People say our society has no traditions. It _has_ traditions. It has the traditions of the country village, and it has never outgrown them. We"re nothing but the country village writ large. New York, Philadelphia, Boston, Baltimore--we"re the country village over again, with its narrowness its sets, its timidity, all writ _so_ large that they hide anything like a real society from us. Now isn"t it so, Mr. Strange? Don"t be afraid to give me your frank opinion because that"s what I"m asking for."
Miriam herself made an effort to seem to be doing something that would enable her to sit unnoticed. She was glad that Wayne was engaged by Mary Pole so that he could no longer listen to the voice that wakened his recollections. She looked again at the tall, carefully dressed man beside her, so different in all his externals from anything she imagined Norrie Ford could ever become. Norrie Ford was an outlaw and this was a man of the world. She felt herself being rea.s.sured--and yet disappointed. Her first feeling of faintness pa.s.sed away, enabling her to face the situation with greater calm. Under cover of the energetic animation characteristic of every American dinner-party at which the guests are intimate, she had leisure to think over the one or two hints that were significant. Now and then a remark was addressed to her across the table to which she managed to return a reply sufficiently apt to give her the appearance of being in touch with what was going on around her; but in reality she was taking in the fact, with the spirit rather than the mind, that Norrie Ford had returned.
She never understood just how and when that a.s.surance came to her. It was certainly not by actual recognition of his features, as it was not by putting together the few data that came under her observation. Thinking it over in after years, she could only say that she "just found herself _knowing it_." He was there--beside her. Of that she had no longer a doubt.
Her amazement did not develop all at once. Indeed, the position had an odd naturalness, like something in a dream. The element of impossibility in what had happened was so great that for the time being her mind refused to meet it. She was only aware of that vague sense of satisfaction, of inward peace, that comes when long-desired ends have been fulfilled.
The main fact being accepted, her outer faculties could respond to the call that a dinner-party makes on its least important member. When the conversation at her end of the table became general she took her part, and later engaged in a three-cornered discussion with Wayne and Mary Pole on the subject of an endowed theatre; but all the while her subconscious mind was struggling for a theory to account for Norrie Ford"s presence in that particular room and in that unexpected company. The need of some immediate, plausible reason for so astounding an occurrence deadened her attention to the comparative quietness with which she accepted his coming--now that she had regained her self-control, although she was conscious of stirrings of wild joy in this evidence that he had been true to her. Had she recalled what she had said to him eight years ago as to the Argentine, and the "very good firm to work for," she would have had an easy clew, but that had pa.s.sed from her mind almost with the utterance--certainly with his departure He had gone out into the world, leaving no more trace behind him than the bird that has flown southward.
Not once during the intervening years did the thought cross her mind that words which she had spoken nearly at haphazard could have acted as a guide to him, while still less did she dream that they could have led him into the very seat beside her which he was occupying now.
Nevertheless, he was there, and for the present she could dispense with the knowledge of the adventures that had brought him. He was there, and that was the reason of his coming in itself. He had hewn his way through all difficulties to reach her--as Siegfried came to Brunhild, over the mountains and through the fire. He had found the means--both the means and the daring--to enter and make himself accepted in her own world, her own circle, her own family--in so far as she had a family--and to sit right down at her side.
She was not surprised at it. She a.s.sured herself of that. At the very instant when she was saying to Mary Pole, across Philip Wayne"s white waistcoat, that she had always thought of endowed inst.i.tutions of creative art as belonging to the races of weaker individual initiative--at the very instant when she was saying that, she was repeating to herself that the directness, the high-handedness, and the success of this kind of exploit was exactly what she would have expected of Norrie Ford. It was what she _had_ expected of him--in one form or another. It was with a sense of inward pride that she remembered that her faith in him had never wavered, even though it was not until Conquest forced her that she had confessed the fact. She glanced at Conquest across the table now and caught his eye.
He smiled at her and raised his gla.s.s, as though to drink to her health.