"I understand that all right. I"m not going to be rough on them, but all the same--"
She got him to sit down at last, made tea for him, and soothed him. At the end of an hour he had undertaken not to molest Miss Jarrott, or to fight that "confounded South-American," or to say a word of any kind to Evie till she was ready to say a word to him. He became impressed with the necessity for diplomatic action and, after some persuasion, promised to submit to guidance--at any rate, for a time.
"And now, Billy, I"m going to write a note. The first thing to be done is that you should find Mr. Strange and deliver it to him before nine o"clock this evening. You"ll do it quietly, won"t you? and not let him see that you are anything more than my messenger. No matter where he is, even in a private house, you must see that he gets the note, if at all possible."
When he had sworn to this she wrote a few lines hurriedly. He carried them away in the same tumultuous haste with which he had come. After his departure she felt herself unexpectedly strong and calm.
XVIII
The feeling of being equal to anything she might have to face continued with her. Now that the moment for action had arrived she had confidence in her ability to meet it, since it had to be done. At dinner she was able to talk to Wayne on indifferent topics, and later, when he had retired to his den to practise his Braile, she sat down in the drawing-room with a book.
Noticing that she wore the severe black dress in which she had a.s.sisted at the "killing off" of Evie"s family, she brightened it with a few un.o.btrusive jewels, so as to look less like the Tragic Muse. The night being cold, a cheerful fire burned on the hearth, beside which she sat down and waited.
When he was shown in, about half-past eight, it seemed to her best not to rise to receive him. Something in her repose, or in her dignity, gave him the impression of arriving before a tribunal, and he began his explanations almost from the doorway.
"I got your note. Young Merrow caught me at dinner. I was dining alone, so that I could come at once."
"You"re very kind. I"m glad you were able to do it. Won"t you sit down?"
Without offering her hand, she indicated a high arm-chair suitable for a man, on the other side of the hearth. He seated himself with an air of expectation, while she gazed pensively at the fire, speaking at last without looking up.
"I hear Miss Jarrott has begun to announce your engagement to Evie."
"I understood she was going to, to a few intimate friends."
"And you allowed it?"
"As you see."
"Didn"t you know that I should have to take that for a signal?"
"I"ve never given you to understand that a signal wouldn"t come--if you required one."
"No; but I hoped--" She broke off, continuing to gaze at the fire. "Do you remember," she began again--"do you remember telling me--that evening on the sh.o.r.e of Lake Champlain--just before you went away--that if ever I needed your life, it would be at my disposal?--to do with as I chose?"
"I do."
"Then I"m going to claim it." She did not look up, but she heard him change his position in his chair. "I shouldn"t do it if there was any other way. I"m sure you understand that. Don"t you?" she insisted, glancing at him for an answer.
"I know you wouldn"t do it, unless you were convinced there was a reason."
"I"ve tried to be just to you, and to see things from your point of view.
I do; I a.s.sure you. If I were in your position I should feel as you do.
But I"m not in your position. I"m in one of great responsibility, toward Evie and toward her friends."
"I don"t see what you owe to them."
[Ill.u.s.tration: Again there was a long silence.]
"I owe them the loyalty that every human being owes to every other."
"To every other--except me."
"I"m loyal to you, at least, whoever else may not be. But it wouldn"t be loyalty if I let you marry Evie. I"m going to ask you--not to do it--to go away--to leave her alone--to go--for good."
There was a long silence. When he spoke, it was hoa.r.s.ely but otherwise without change of tone.
"Is that what you meant?--just now?"
"Yes. That"s what I meant."
"Do you intend me to get out of New York, to go back to the South--?"
She lifted her hand in protestation.
"I"m not giving orders or making conditions. New York is large. There"s room in it for you and Evie, too."
"I dare say. One doesn"t require much s.p.a.ce to break one"s heart in."
"Evie wouldn"t break her heart. I know her better than you do. She"d suffer for a while, but she"d get over it, and in the end, very soon probably--marry some one else."
"How cruel you can be," he said, with a twisted smile.
"I can be, when it"s right. In this case I"m only as cruel as--the truth.
I"m saying it because it must make things easier for you. Your own pain will be the less from the knowledge that, in time, Evie will get over hers."
"I suppose it ought to be, but--"
He did not finish his sentence, and again there was a long hush, during which, while she continued to gaze pensively at the fire, she could hear him shifting with nervous frequency in his chair. When at last she ventured to look at him he was bowed forward, his elbow supported on his knee, and his forehead resting on his hand.
"You"ll keep your promise to me?" she persisted, softly, with a kind of pitiful relentlessness.
"I"ll tell you in a minute."
He jerked out the words in the brusque way in which a man says all that, for the moment, he is physically able to utter. She allowed more time to elapse. The roar of traffic and the clanging of electric trams came up from the street below, but no sound seemed able to penetrate the stillness in which they sat. As far as Miriam was conscious of herself at all, it was simply to note the curious deadness of her emotions, as though she had become a mere machine for doing right, like a clock that strikes punctually. Nevertheless, it caused her some surprise when he raised himself and said, in a voice that would have been casual on a common occasion:
"I suppose you think me a cad?"
"No; why should I?"
"Because I am one."
"I don"t know why you should say that, or what it has to do with--anything."
"It"s about that--that--promise."