"It"s all right, Paul," said Amesbury, quietly. "I"ll tell you the story. It may be well for you to hear it."
CHAPTER XVIII
STALKED BY WOLVES
Amesbury filled his pipe, lighted it from the stove with one of the shavings he had whittled, and sat silently contemplating the streak of light which flashed through the stove vent. He seemed to Paul to have suddenly grown very old. His normally open, genial countenance was drawn and haggard, and Paul noted the streaks of gray in his brown hair and beard.
"It may do you good to hear the story," Amesbury presently said. "I"ve never told it to any one, but it"s a pretty good warning to young fellows like you. I like you, and I hope you"ll not make the mistakes that I did." He lapsed into silence again for a few moments, and then began:
"As I told you, my father was a minister--the gentlest, most affectionate, sympathetic man I ever knew. If there ever was a true servant of G.o.d he was one. There was never a sweeter or more devoted woman ever lived than my mother. I believe her spirit comes now of nights to kiss my forehead as I fall asleep, just as she did in those long ago days when I was a boy at home.
"She was tireless. Nothing seemed ever too great a task for her. The women of my father"s church looked upon her in a way as their counselor, and they used to come to her with their troubles, as the men came to my father; and men and women were always certain of both sympathetic and practical a.s.sistance.
"I had one sister, three years my senior, and we were chums and constant companions. We were both born with a pa.s.sionate love of music, and when she was twelve and I nine years of age my father, with much stinting and sc.r.a.ping, purchased her a piano and me a violin.
"My violin instructor was an old German, who was to come to the Manse once a week to give me a lesson. He was a very impatient old fellow, but a good teacher, and with my interest in music I made good progress. The pleasantest memories of my life are of evenings when my mother sat sewing, and my father relaxed in his easy chair, while Helen played the piano and I accompanied her on the violin.
"My father designed me, I believe, from my birth, for the ministry. I was a good student, and at sixteen entered college. Here a new world opened to me. I had always lived in an atmosphere of religion. Perhaps I had become satiated with it. At any rate I took only too kindly to the wild life of the crowd I fell in with at college.
"For the most part the students were industrious, but there were a few, as there always are, who indulged themselves in dissipation because they thought it smart, and it was my misfortune to be drawn among these at the beginning. Perhaps the novelty, in strong contrast with my home life, attracted me. I do not know.
"At first our dissipations were of a rather mild sort, and I did pretty well during the freshman year. But during my soph.o.m.ore year I got in with a still wilder crowd, and took part in several discreditable escapades. Some of my companions drank, and early in the year I for the first time in my life tasted spirituous liquors. Before college closed for the summer vacation I had twice been mildly intoxicated. Of course my parents knew nothing of this, but they did know that I had neglected my studies and was conditioned in Greek, barely pa.s.sing the test in other subjects.
"The escapades of the soph.o.m.ore year became orgies in the junior. I drank hard at these times, and the liquor made me wild. I"ll not tell you of the carousings I took part in, nor the reprimands I received for cla.s.s and other delinquencies. It came to a climax in early spring when I entered a cla.s.s one day in an intoxicated condition, insulted the professor, and did some damage to the furniture.
"This ended in my dismissal from college. A full report of what had occurred preceded me home, and for the first time my parents learned of my debauchery. It was a terrible shock to them. I shall never forget their grief. If they had scolded or meted punishment it would have been different, but they did not. My mother threw her arms around my neck and cried as though her heart would break. My father, tears streaming down his cheeks, placed his hand upon my shoulder and called me his poor erring son. I promised them that I would reform. Helen talked with me and cried with me in private.
"My father"s life hope that I should follow his footsteps in the ministry was crushed, and he had forever lost his former habitual cheerfulness. The change in him--I always felt it when in his presence--hurt me terribly. I resolved to atone, so far as possible, for the past.
"I took up my old home life again. I attended meetings regularly, as my father wished, and devoted myself to my violin. My old German instructor was re-engaged, and I made such good progress that in the summer when I was twenty years of age he suggested that I go to Germany for a year, to continue my musical studies there.
"The prospect of a trip abroad filled me with enthusiasm. At first my parents objected, and particularly my mother, who was now in ill health, the result, I shall always believe, of the shock she received at the time of my expulsion from college. I plead so strongly, however, to be permitted to go, that at length both Father and Mother consented, and late in the summer I sailed.
"It was a mistake. There is much drinking among German students, and almost immediately I was drawn among the wildest drinkers and roysterers.
"During the winter my sister married a prosperous and wealthy young business man. They decided upon a brief wedding trip abroad, and planning a pleasant surprise for me said nothing of it in their letters beyond the particulars of the wedding, for during my absence it was the custom of Father and Helen to write me twice a week minute details of the home life.
"I shall never forget the morning they came. I had been out all the previous night with a party of drinking students and had returned to my apartment in a state of such beastly intoxication that I had thrown myself upon a couch, unable to undress and retire to my bed.
Here I was sleeping when a loud knocking aroused me. Blear-eyed, unkempt, and smelling foul with liquor, I opened the door. There stood Helen and her husband.
"Their wedding trip was spoiled, of course. They decided to return home at once and take me with them. Helen made the excuse to our parents that I was in no physical condition to remain abroad longer. I think my father suspected something of the true cause, but he gave no hint of it, and I resumed my old life, but not with the same chastened feeling that I had experienced on the former occasion. I was becoming hardened.
"My father"s church and the manse where we lived were in upper New York, and to satisfy my desire for excitement I used frequently to take a run down town. It was on one of these occasions, a month after my return from abroad, that I met one of my former college companions.
He asked me to drink with him and I accepted. One drink led to another, and when the liquor went to our heads we became hilarious and decided to make a night of it.
"In the small hours of morning we were sitting at a table in a low cafe and dance hall. Some others were at the table--people I had never met--and one of them made a remark at which I took offense. What it was I do not know. I only know that before my companion or the others at the table knew what I was about, I was on my feet and smashing a chair over the offender"s head.
"I was arrested and locked up, and the following day committed to the Tombs without bail to await the result of the injuries upon the man whom I had attacked. Then came remorse--awful, sincere remorse--for the life I had led and the hearts I had broken.
"My father, ever loving, ever sympathetic, came to console me. Again he called me his poor, erring boy, as he placed his arm around my shoulders, and tears, in spite of his effort to conceal them, wet his cheeks.
"I"ll not go into detail, or describe the agonizing weeks that followed. The man recovered. I was tried for my offense, and in view of the fact that I had never before been called before a court of justice, was sentenced to but one year in the penitentiary.
"On the day sentence was p.r.o.nounced my mother died; killed, of course, by her boy"s disgrace. When my father returned from the funeral he resigned his pastorate. He could no longer stand before his congregation, and the congregation did not wish to retain the services of a minister whose son was a jail bird. Six months later he followed my mother. All that he had loved and lived for had been taken from him.
"Well, I served my sentence, and when I was released I came here. I had but one thought--to hide myself from the world. I could not stay in New York and disgrace my sister and her husband with my presence. I was truly penitent, but I realized that the world would not believe that. My presence would ever bring up the past.
"Here in the open I have been drawn closer and closer to the G.o.d my father and mother loved and worshiped. Since that awful night I have never tasted liquor. I have tried to live in rect.i.tude, and so far as I can to atone for the past.
"I have never written my sister, for I wished her to forget the disgrace. She never knew what became of me when I left prison. She probably thinks me dead, and I have had no means of hearing from her.
"My violin has been my constant companion. Every evening when I am here I play to Father and Mother and Helen. I always see them when I play. I always see the dear old living room at home, Father in his easy chair, Mother sewing, and Helen at her piano playing a soft accompaniment."
No one spoke for a long time. Then Ahmik rose and refilled the stove.
Amesbury drew his ungainly frame together, strode to the door and stepped out. Presently he returned singing:
""Come, let"s to bed, Says Sleepy-head."
"It"s bedtime, fellows, and I know you"re tired. I"d take one of you in with me, but my bed is pretty narrow, and I"m afraid you wouldn"t be comfortable. Sleeping bags are pretty good, though. Paul, you have one already. Here"s one for you, Dan," and Amesbury drew a warm sleeping bag from a chest. He was his whimsical, good-natured, normal self again.
The following day was Sunday. Amesbury held religious services directly after breakfast. Then he played the violin for an hour, and they all sang some hymns, after which they chatted, cozily gathered around the stove, Paul and Dan luxuriating in the homelike atmosphere that was a part of the cabin.
"Tomorrow," said Amesbury after dinner, "Ahmik takes to his trapping trail, and we won"t see him again in a month. He goes westward. I"ll be going, too, for awhile. My trail takes me south, along one side of a chain of lakes, and swings back along the other side. I"ll be back in a week if the weather holds good. Takes me that long to make the rounds. You chaps make yourselves at home."
"Can"t we go along and help you?" asked Paul. "It must be mighty tedious all alone."
"No, not this trip. Perhaps I"ll take one of you at a time on later trips. I"ll tell you what! You and Dan do a little trapping on your own account. There are a lot of traps out here in the woodroom. Dan knows how to set them. Put them anywhere it looks good to you. I expect you to earn your board and something more, you know. I told you that before you came. I"ll give you a chance to work on shares. You can use my traps and I"ll board you for half your hunt. How does that suit you?"
"O, aye, "twill be fine," said Dan. "I were thinkin", now, I"d like t"
do a bit o" trappin"."
"You might get a silver fox, and go home rich. Now think of that!" and Amesbury"s eyes twinkled.
"An" is they silvers here?" asked Dan.
"Sometimes. Silvers, reds, cross, whites and blues. You"ll find martens in the timber. There are plenty of wolves, too--the big gray kind. You"ll hear them howling nights."
"An" is they wolves, now? I"d like wonderful well t" kill some wolves." Dan"s eyes sparkled.
"Not afraid of "em, eh?" Amesbury laughed.
"They mostly keeps too far away. They"s cowards, wolves is."
"Sometimes, but look out for packs."