After which, just hesitating, "Doesn"t he belong to some club?" he inquired.
She had a grave headshake. "He used to--to many."
"But he has dropped them?"
"They"ve dropped _him._ Of that I"m sure. It ought to do for you. I offered him," the girl immediately continued--"and it was for that I went to him--to come and be with him, make a home for him so far as is possible. But he won"t hear of it."
Densher took this in with visible, but generous, wonder. "You offered him--"impossible" as you describe him to me--to live with him and share his disadvantages?" The young man saw for the moment but the high beauty of it. "You _are_ gallant!"
"Because it strikes you as being brave for him?" She wouldn"t in the least have this. "It wasn"t courage--it was the opposite. I did it to save myself--to escape."
He had his air, so constant at this stage, as of her giving him finer things than any one to think about. "Escape from what?"
"From everything."
"Do you by any chance mean from me?"
"No; I spoke to him of you, told him--or what amounted to it--that I would bring you, if he would allow it, with me."
"But he won"t allow it," said Densher.
"Won"t hear of it on any terms. He won"t help me, won"t save me, won"t hold out a finger to me," Kate went on; "he simply wriggles away, in his inimitable manner, and throws me back."
"Back then, after all, thank goodness," Densher concurred, "on me."
But she spoke again as with the sole vision of the whole scene she had evoked. "It"s a pity, because you"d like him. He"s wonderful--he"s charming." Her companion gave one of the laughs that marked in him, again, his feeling in her tone, inveterately, something that banished the talk of other women, so far as he knew other women, to the dull desert of the conventional, and she had already continued. "He would make himself delightful to you."
"Even while objecting to me?"
"Well, he likes to please," the girl explained--"personally. He would appreciate you and be clever with you. It"s to _me_ he objects--that is as to my liking you."
"Heaven be praised then," Densher exclaimed, "that you like me enough for the objection!"
But she met it after an instant with some inconsequence. "I don"t. I offered to give you up, if necessary, to go to him. But it made no difference, and that"s what I mean," she pursued, "by his declining me on any terms. The point is, you see, that I don"t escape."
Densher wondered. "But if you didn"t wish to escape _me?"_
"I wished to escape Aunt Maud. But he insists that it"s through her and through her only that I may help him; just as Marian insists that it"s through her, and through her only, that I can help _her._ That"s what I mean," she again explained, "by their turning me back."
The young man thought. "Your sister turns you back too?"
"Oh, with a push!"
"But have you offered to live with your sister?"
"I would in a moment if she"d have me. That"s all my virtue--a narrow little family feeling. I"ve a small stupid piety--I don"t know what to call it." Kate bravely sustained it; she made it out. "Sometimes, alone, I"ve to smother my shrieks when I think of my poor mother. She went through things--they pulled her down; I know what they were now--I didn"t then, for I was a pig; and my position, compared with hers, is an insolence of success. That"s what Marian keeps before me; that"s what papa himself, as I say, so inimitably does. My position"s a value, a great value, for them both"--she followed and followed. Lucid and ironic, she knew no merciful muddle. "It"s _the_ value--the only one they have."
Everything between our young couple moved today, in spite of their pauses, their margin, to a quicker measure--the quickness and anxiety playing lightning-like in the sultriness. Densher watched, decidedly, as he had never done before. "And the fact you speak of holds you!"
"Of course, it holds me. It"s a perpetual sound in my ears. It makes me ask myself if I"ve any right to personal happiness, any right to anything but to be as rich and overflowing, as smart and shining, as I can be made."
Densher had a pause. "Oh, you might, with good luck, have the personal happiness too."
Her immediate answer to this was a silence like his own; after which she gave him straight in the face, but quite simply and quietly: "Darling!"
It took him another moment; then he was also quiet and simple. "Will you settle it by our being married to-morrow--as we can, with perfect ease, civilly?"
"Let us wait to arrange it," Kate presently replied, "till after you"ve seen her."
"Do you call that adoring me?" Densher demanded.
They were talking, for the time, with the strangest mixture of deliberation and directness, and nothing could have been more in the tone of it than the way she at last said: "You"re afraid of her yourself."
He gave a smile a trifle gla.s.sy. "For young persons of a great distinction and a very high spirit, we"re a caution!"
"Yes," she took it straight up; "we"re hideously intelligent. But there"s fun in it too. We must get our fun where we can. I think," she added, and for that matter, not without courage, "our relation"s beautiful. It"s not a bit vulgar. I cling to some saving romance in things."
It made him break into a laugh which had more freedom than his smile.
"How you must be afraid you"ll chuck me!"
"No, no, _that_ would be vulgar. But, of course, I do see my danger,"
she admitted, "of doing something base."
"Then what can be so base as sacrificing me?"
"I _shan"t_ sacrifice you; don"t cry out till you"re hurt. I shall sacrifice n.o.body and nothing, and that"s just my situation, that I want and that I shall try for everything. That," she wound up, "is how I see myself, and how I see you quite as much, acting for them."
"For "them"?" and the young man strongly, extravagantly marked his coldness. "Thank you!"
"Don"t you care for them?"
"Why should I? What are they to me but a serious nuisance?"
As soon as he had permitted himself this qualification of the unfortunate persons she so perversely cherished, he repented of his roughness--and partly because he expected a flash from her. But it was one of her finest sides that she sometimes flashed with a mere mild glow. "I don"t see why you don"t make out a little more that if we avoid stupidity we may do _all._ We may keep her."
He stared. "Make her pension us?"
"Well, wait at least till we have seen."
He thought. "Seen what can be got out of her?"
Kate for a moment said nothing. "After all I never asked her; never, when our troubles were at the worst, appealed to her nor went near her.
She fixed upon me herself, settled on me with her wonderful gilded claws."
"You speak," Densher observed, "as if she were a vulture."
"Call it an eagle--with a gilded beak as well, and with wings for great flights. If she"s a thing of the air, in short--say at once a balloon--I never myself got into her car. I was her choice."
It had really, her sketch of the affair, a high colour and a great style; at all of which he gazed a minute as at a picture by a master.