"I"m trying. I know I haven"t done that well enough." She smiled shakily at her husband and sat easier on her chair. An air full of apology settled around her. "I haven"t been fair to you, either. You have a wonderful family. I"m sorry, to all of you. He"s right. I just want him to be happy."
"Then give me the chance to do that. Give him the chance to make up his own mind," Cade said.
When she didn"t continue, Cade guessed it was up to him to make everything right again. He excused himself and went hunting for his man.
Chapter Fifteen.
When the door opened, Dean knew it was Cade without looking. He found him in the spare, sitting on the bed, staring off into s.p.a.ce.
"I"m sorry. That was so rude."
Cade sat at his side, ignoring the pile of winter coats. "It"s okay. I think she"s ready to listen now, though."
"Yeah?" Dean doubted it. Fighting with his mother was exhausting.
"Yeah. I think seeing why you want to stay aside from the bar"s history matters."
Dean rested with his temple to Cade"s shoulder. A single arm snaked around his back and held him steady. "She"s never had a problem with me being gay, so that isn"t it. It"s because I want to stay here. My life is here. The life I have is fine with me. I don"t want to change it. Is this really that much to ask for her to understand?"
"I don"t think so, but I"m part of the equation. As Jamie accused Chris, I"m very biased."
Dean snickered. "Those two." He tilted and gazed at Cade"s profile. There were so many reasons he wasn"t going to bend to his mother"s wants. It was no surprise that the biggest reason was holding on to him. He honestly cared for Cade. Through the misunderstandings and the troubles he"d faced, through the shocks Cade had given him, Cade was steady, and still stood by him. Dean wasn"t done with finding out how far they could go, and if he were being honest, he hoped they never did find out where the finish line was. The idea of having a family, of having Cade there when he came home was one in a million. He wanted that. He wanted Cade, which meant his unusual family, his secrets, and everything that came with him.
Cade snuggled him closer. "She did say she wants you to be happy."
He scoffed. "When?"
"Just now. I think she means it."
Dean didn"t reply. He"d wait and see. He knew his mother. She was probably only regrouping for the next round of arguments.
"Come on. My brothers are going to start taking bets if we don"t get out there."
Dean reached and cupped Cade"s jaw, bringing him close before he could pull away. A quiet groan filled the gap between them right before their lips touched. The kiss was heady, sweet, and filled with longing for more. "Still coming tonight?" Dean asked when they parted.
"I"ll be right behind you."
They lingered over the soft kisses for a few more minutes. Dean couldn"t help it. He did did like the man"s kisses. like the man"s kisses.
"Besides," Cade said as they stood to leave the bedroom. "You"re stuck with me now. Even if you decide it"s for the best to leave, I"ll be right there with you."
Dean looked over his shoulder. "What does that mean?"
"Wolves mate as pairs, for life. It translates to us and our mates as fidelity on steroids."
Dean"s hand stopped on the k.n.o.b. "So..." He frowned. Mating? For life? This was the first he"d heard of this little concept. Definitely not so little. Definitely not so little. "What does that mean?" "What does that mean?"
"I"ve already bonded with you. I go where you go."
"Wait." Dean turned and put his spine to the door. His brain did a quick rerun of the last few weeks. Nope. No recollection. Nope. No recollection. "Don"t I get a say in this?" He wanted Cade, but wasn"t this a little... "Don"t I get a say in this?" He wanted Cade, but wasn"t this a little...fast? Christ, he cared, but there was no guarantee they"d make it to Easter. He knew what he wanted to see happen. He also knew what the odds were on any relationship. There were emotions, family, kids, houses... Any number of decisions to work through, but just like that, he"s supposed to accept this decision was already made and he just had to fall in line? Definitely something he would remember.
And he didn"t.
Cade frowned. "I thought...you did."
"No. I would have remembered this conversation," he said, consternation growing. "I understood that things would be different with you. I didn"t didn"t know it was already decided. What if you find out there"s something about me you can"t stand?" know it was already decided. What if you find out there"s something about me you can"t stand?"
Cade relaxed, offering a small smile. "Already cleared that hurdle. I wasn"t expecting my mate to be a man."
Dean threw up a hand and blocked Cade. "So all that bulls.h.i.t before... You"re still not able to say you"re gay?" And he"s now now saying he saying he hates the fact hates the fact that Dean"s a guy? Not the warm and fuzzy kind of revelation going on here. that Dean"s a guy? Not the warm and fuzzy kind of revelation going on here.
"I"m not gay." Cade scowled. "I have no interest in men. Only in you."
"f.u.c.ker," Dean cursed. "That"s bulls.h.i.t bulls.h.i.t. So what? Are you going to start sniffing after some big t.i.t blonde next?"
"Sniffing." Cade had the audacity to snicker.
Dean"s jaw clenched as he fought snarls of anger. He wasn"t playing around. Cade must have noticed because he sliced off the laughter quickly.
"No. I haven"t looked at a woman in more than two years. I was attracted to you from the beginning. Almost from the first minute we met, and when I got to know you, it became impossible to fight that and the wolf"s need to be with you."
Dean shoved. Hard. Cade stumbled back a step. "I get it. You"re not gay. You don"t really care who or what you end up with, is that it? But your wolf said Hey, he looks good Hey, he looks good, so I was it, huh? And it doesn"t matter if you actually like me, or care, or f.u.c.k, can you even love a man?"
"I don"t know."
That stopped Dean cold. That wasn"t what he wanted to hear.
Dean didn"t know what he"d expected, but it hadn"t been this. "This is total bulls.h.i.t," he hissed.
"What has you so mad?"
"You can"t f.u.c.king figure it out?" he snapped.
"I"ve been honest. I"ve told you everything."
"You never once once said anything about there being no choice in this, about being your mate regardless of whether or not it was something I was ready for, or wanted," he finished. He opened the door. "I"m taking my parents back to their hotel. Do not follow me." said anything about there being no choice in this, about being your mate regardless of whether or not it was something I was ready for, or wanted," he finished. He opened the door. "I"m taking my parents back to their hotel. Do not follow me."
"Dean," he said. He raised a hand to catch the door.
"No. You don"t get it. I want to see where this goes, but you forgot to mention that little detail."
Cade"s brow furrowed.
"I"m not getting into a relationship with anyone who is with me out of duty because some crazy, whacked out spirit says you have no choice in this. If you"re not gay, if you don"t even like even like men, then just what the h.e.l.l are you doing? Because let me say this: I men, then just what the h.e.l.l are you doing? Because let me say this: I do do have a choice." have a choice."
"I"m not gay. I never have been."
"Do you hear yourself? So what? I"m supposed to accept that after a lifetime of women, you"ve suddenly decided that I"m it? One man in the entire world?"
"Not decided. It"s just the way it is."
Dean rolled his eyes. "I give up." He tugged the door, ignoring Cade"s reticence to letting him out. He wasn"t going to battle pigheaded all night. "I"ll call in a few days. Maybe."
"Don"t do this. Please."
The aching panic in Cade"s voice almost made him rethink the last ten minutes.
Almost. He fished jackets off the bed and stormed out of the room. He interrupted the discussion and laughter at the table. "Mom, Dad. I"m sorry. We need to go."
"Is everything all right?" Ann asked, concerned. She rose from her seat though.
"Dean," Cade pleaded quietly from behind him.
"No. I"m sorry. Thank you Chris, Jamie. I"ll make it up to you both."
Jamie stood also. "I understand."
"Honestly, you very well might," he replied. "I"ll call you." Jamie nodded, clearly avoiding looking at Cade. Dean helped his mother put on her coat. "Good night, Quade. Maya. Thanks again."
"Ann, be sure to let us know when you get home, okay?" Maya piped up, standing to say her goodbyes as well.
"Thank you all. You"ve been very kind." She hugged Maya and smiled. Trent shook Chris" hand.
Dean herded his parents out the front door and to the car. "I"m very sorry," he said, getting behind the wheel.
"Did you two fight?" his mother asked.
"Yes, and I don"t want to talk about it."
Ann merely nodded. "Okay."
Dean slid her a quick look. That was way too easy. Instead of waiting for her to start poking, he put the car in reverse and turned around for the driveway. The drive home was the longest hour in his life.
"What did you do?" Jamie asked.
Not accusing, which Cade was grateful for. He could feel his world unraveling and it killed him. Cade plopped onto his seat. He braced his head on open palms over cold food, ignoring it completely. He"d lost his appet.i.te. Possibly forever.
"I f.u.c.ked up. I just don"t really know what I did."
Silence thickened, then, "Maya, could you help me clean up?"
She gathered plates. "Sure." She kissed Quade on the cheek and trailed after Jamie with her hands full. The sound of water and dishes being rinsed provided the sense of a wall between them. At least it wasn"t going to be four against one.
"Okay, what did you say?" Quade braced his elbows on the table.
"I told him if it came down to it and he had to leave for his parents, I"d be there with him. I understand I can"t keep him from his family." Cade rubbed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. Somehow in the last ten minutes, everything had fallen apart. He was trying to be understanding, supportive, and all he"d managed to do was p.i.s.s off Dean.
"That can"t be all of it. Maya and I discussed the exact same thing. It came down to her or the pack. She gave me the pack."
Cade raised bleary eyes to study his brother. "And I offered the same thing. I said here or his family." How was that so wrong?
"You"re missing a step, or not giving us the whole story," Chris said.
"What step?"
"What caused the fight to begin with?"
Cade sighed. He pushed his plate out of the way with an elbow. "I told him I"d go with him because I"d already bonded with him. That there wasn"t any reason to discuss it."
Chris and Quade shared a startled look.
"Oh, s.h.i.t," Quade whispered. "You didn"t?"
"Didn"t what?" Cade was beginning to feel exhausted with the whole discussion. He was dying to go after Dean, but knew he wouldn"t be welcome. This time, he knew Dean wouldn"t open the door.
"Without him knowing?" Quade narrowed his eyes. "d.a.m.n it, Cade. You married him by pack law without him even knowing it."
"What?" Cade sat up, chills. .h.i.tting his shoulders. "What are you talking about?"
"The bond," Chris answered. He crossed his arms on the table and leaned over them. "Don"t you remember Dad"s warnings?"
"No." Cade blinked. He really didn"t.
"He may not realize what you"ve done, but he obviously understands the underlying definition of what it means to be bonded or he wouldn"t be so furious."
"I don"t need pack permission to bond. Do I?" he asked fearfully as an afterthought. He waited with dread until one of them answered.
"No," Chris replied.
Cade sagged with relief. "Then what"s the problem?"
Quade tipped his head in aggravated disbelief, saying, "Dean gets you drunk and manages to get you to say I do, without you knowing. Eight hours later you wake up and Bam! You"re married."
Cade shook his head. "But I ca-" His eyes widened as the truth hit him square between the eyes. "f.u.c.k! No! No, no. I swear. It"s not what I wanted to do to him."
"Tell him that," Chris advised. "Because that is exactly what you did."