I texted both Layla and Bel the address to where I was headed. Layla had told me not to talk to CarGuy without backup, but after a little bit more research, I discovered that CarGuy worked at a pizza place not too far from my current location.
Calling ahead, I ordered one personal-sized pizza for pickup, telling myself that the only reason I was headed to this particular pizza place was because I was hungry and their reviews were good. I didnt fool myself, but it was worth a shot.
More importantly, when Id ordered the pizza, Id asked if Dan Woods, the real name of CarGuy, was working today. The bored teenager on the phone told me that yes, Dan was working, so I proceeded to drive straight over.
I parked outside, wondering if it had been a bad idea not to take someone with me. Layla would have come, but she had a store full of customers, and I couldnt pull her away for something so small. Bel was busy with her brides and likely couldnt get away.
As for Madrina"well, n.o.body ever knew where she was, popping in and our lives whenever she felt like it. The only sure way to get her to swing by for a visit was to bake a pan of brownies, and I didnt have time to stop home and whip up a batch. I was on my own, no way around it.
The smell of pizza permeated the air as I locked my car. I sniffed the marinara goodness, the freshly baked crust, the melted cheese. Another bonus"the place was busy.
Okay, maybe not busy, but there were at least five other people here, and I was willing to bet that Dan Woods wouldnt try any funny business with other people around at his work.
I made my way towards the entrance, scanning the tables on the patio outside. It was a perfect day for a day date. Pizza and a walk sounded excellent with the right person, I thought as I watched a cute, young couple holding hands.
I tore myself away from people-watching and let my nose lead me to the counter. Rosie, picking up a personal pizza.
Will anyone be joining you today? The bored teen from the phone asked. Or are you alone?
Isnt that a little rude?
Im just wondering how many utensils I should"
Im all by myself, okay? I said. All alone. Are you happy?
The teens eyes widened. Oh, lady. Sorry. You know, its cool to eat alone these days.
Just give me my pizza, please. I hissed. And Ill still tip you well.
He handed over the pizza and utensils.
I pulled out an extra five bucks, and gingerly placed it on top of the first fiver. I could really make this interaction worth your while if you could tell me where I might find Dan Woods.
The teen raised his eyebrows at the two fives on the table. Whats that supposed to buy me?
I exhaled loudly. Fine. Is this better?
The teen watched as I pulled one of the fives back and replaced it with a ten. Really, youre going to take back five bucks?
Fine! But this is it. I set the other five back. This information is not worth twenty dollars, but Im feeling generous. Where is Dan?
Hes out on a delivery, but if you eat your pizza at the table over there, you cant miss him when he comes back in. Ill send him over to you.
Thanks, I said. Now, do you have some extra parmesan?
Chapter 16.
Twenty minutes, half of a personal pan pizza, and too many packets of parmesan cheese later, the ding of the doorbell sounded, and the teen at the counter gave me a sly nod. A man waltzed in, a balding, forty-something-year-old who looked a bit like a gerbil with his puffy cheeks, round stomach, and twitchy features.
The teen at the counter lowered his voice and held a quick exchange with Dan that ended in both of them staring straight at me.
I gave an awkward smile and a wave, then busied myself folding up the leftover pizza into a take home box.
I didnt have long to wait until the sound of footsteps approached my table.
You wanted to see me? Dan huffed. He sat down without an invitation. You gonna eat that?
He pointed at my take home bag, so I shook my head and shoved it at him. Youre Dan Woods?
Dan made me wait until hed taken the pizza out of the bag, set it on a plate, and refilled his soda before he looked up. Then he looked right back down, unfolded a napkin on his lap, set a fork, knife, and a spoon next to his water gla.s.s, and then lightly mopped the grease off the top of his pizza.
Are you Dan Woods? I tried again. He was preparing to eat like this was a gourmet meal. That was not a trick question.
Ya, what do you want? He picked up the pizza and ate almost one whole slice without pausing for air.
I scrunched my nose, wondering why hed gone through all that preparation if he was just going to eat his food like a garbage disposal. Have you worked with Hank the Handyman?
At the mention of Hank, Mr. Woods dropped his pizza straight onto his plate. Ever so slowly, his face grew to a shade of red that was more vibrant than the marinara sauce on his pizza. Then it just kept on going. Red to violet. Violet to pink. Pink to white, and on and on until we came to a full circle, and landed back on a purplish-red. What about Hank?
I was just wondering about your experiences with Hanks services because"
Thankfully I didnt have to come up with a lame excuse as to why I was asking because Dan took over. Hanks services? You want me to talk about Hanks services? That man is a crook. Hes a dirty little liar who steals peoples money. He fixes something just good enough so that it breaks the second they get home, and then theyve gotta go back out looking to spend more money with him. Talk about unethical. It makes me sick.
I feigned concern. Im really sorry to hear about that. What happened?
Here I am, driving around in my old Volvo. The thing has worked for me perfectly for the last eighteen years. Two hundred and fifty thousand miles, and Ive never once had a problem. He snorted in derision. Then one day, out of the blue, it broke down. Left me on the side of the road. Right on Main Street in town. I mean, is there a worse place? I swear, people are never going to trust me to deliver their pizza again.
Im sure people understand, I said. Its not your fault you had car trouble. It happens to us all.
Yeah, but Ive never been late for a delivery before. Not until that day.
You were late?
He bit his lip. No, I wasnt late, but I was real close. Ive never been that close before. I pride myself on getting there ten minutes early. Thats why Ive earned the name Delivery Dan. Not anyone can be a Delivery Dan; it takes a real skill set thats pretty rare.
Id say, I murmured.
This time, I was only three minutes early. Almost late. Dan rocked back and forth as if the situation had nearly traumatized him.
I dont understand what any of this has to do with Hank.
Hank? Dans neck started to glow purple. That phony.
Was he even there? I was seriously beginning to worry about this mans mental state. Here was Delivery Dan fuming like a nut while kind-hearted, goofy Jo sat behind bars. Why couldnt the chief see how wrong this whole situation was?
Of course he was there or else I wouldnt be so upset! Dan pounded a fist on the table. There I was on the side of the road fixing my own ignition when Hank pulls over and offers to help. Do I look like a man who needs help?
I blinked. Um Do I?
For the sake of the vein pulsing furiously over Dans forehead, I rapidly shook my head. I suppose not. Though Im sure everyone can use a little a.s.sistance from time to time.
Not me. Dan pointed to himself. I didnt need help.
Why didnt you tell Hank that? I still dont see the issue.
I told him I didnt need help, but Hank said that hes a handyman and wouldnt mind taking a look for me.
That sounds nice of him.
He took a look alright, and he found what was wrong, Dan said. I wouldve found it myself, but I ran out of time, you see, because I had a delivery to make. It was really stressful, and since I was so stressed, it was really hard to find what was wrong with the car.
I tried to follow along with Dans logic, but it was quite difficult. So Hank helped you diagnose the issue because you were very stressed. Got it. What happened next?
He fixed it, Dan said simply. He fixed the problem.
I rested my head on my arms for a minute before I could find it in myself to respond. Finally, I pulled myself back into a sitting position. In the meantime, Dan had worked his magic on the pizza and made the whole thing disappear. So Hank helped you find the problem and fix it. Why are you mad at him?
Because the next day it was broken in the morning! Dan roared. His fingers shook with anger as he gripped the edge of the table. Hank fixed it up and sent me on my way. Sure, I made it to the delivery on time that day, but what about the next day? I was late to work. Fifteen minutes late to work.
Surely your work understood. I glanced at the counter where a suspiciously happy-looking teen was staring at the numbers on the register as if they were unicorns prancing around in outer s.p.a.ce. Im sure it wasnt a huge deal.
It wasnt a huge deal to anybody except myself! You dont become Delivery Dan by being late to work, thats for sure!
But once in eighteen years, or however long its been really, isnt so bad.
Thats where it starts. Its a slippery slope. One day youre ten minutes late, the next day youre not showing up to work at all and youre stuck permanently on your couch.
I dont think it works like that.
Oh, it does. Dan nodded his head vigorously. Trust me. It happened to my friend.
What was really surprising in that statement was not Dans friend, it was the fact that Dan had a friend. He was like a ticking time bomb; I could hardly wait to leave, and Id only been stuck here a few minutes. I couldnt imagine being around him longer than twenty minutes. Okay, so did Hank charge you or something?
No, nothing, Dan said. He just fixed my car and went on his way. But he didnt tell me it was still broken.
Did he make any promises at all?
No, he just said: There. That should hold you til you get home. You might want to get your engine checked out tomorrow, though.
That sounds like he was telling you he put a temporary patch on your car, but that you still needed to get it fixed permanently.
Why didnt he say that then?
I wondered if Dan could really be this dense. Then I realized that there was no way this could be an act. Sometimes the truth was stranger than fiction, and I, for one, could not make up Dan Woods. He was unreal.
So you left him a bad review, I said. Why didnt you just talk to him?
Oh, I did. I called him and left him so many messages his answering machine filled up. Dan shook his head. I thought about driving over there to give him a piece of my mind, and then I realized that I didnt know where he lived.
I looked down at the table. On one hand, I could believe that Dan was the killer because he seemed completely bonkers. On the other hand, poisoning someone required finesse, and that was one quality Dan Woods lacked in spades.
Where were you yesterday, by chance? I asked, trying my best to hit a nonchalant tone.
Dan leveled his gaze on me. Who did you say you were?
Im with Handy Services, I said. We saw your negative review, and wanted to see if you needed help fixing your car"
The only thing I need is to find Hank and give him a piece of my mind.
I looked down at the table.
What? he asked. Now the cats got your tongue?
No. In fact, I should be going. I stood up. It wasnt my job to spread the news of Hanks death, and Id gotten everything I needed to know from Dan. I didnt know if he was my guy or not, but I had needed to get a feel for his personality, and boy had I felt it. Id had enough.
My next steps involved calling the chief and making him ask all the hard hitting questions.
Who did you say you were? Dans hand slithered out and grasped me around the wrist. I didnt catch your name.
Im uh, Sally, I said.
Something had changed in Dans face; the red had faded back to a normal skin tone, and his eyes were clear. Scarily clear. While I didnt believe that bonkers Dan was capable of finessing poison into a corked bottle of wine, it wasnt difficult to imagine that this new, composed version might be even more dangerous than the angry one.
Sally, eh? He squeezed my wrist so tight that he left fingermarks when he pulled his hand away a moment later. Ill be seeing you around.
I frowned. I dont come here often.
Oh, I know. Dan sat back, crossing his arms over his beefy chest. His gaze gave me the shivers as he scanned up and down my body. Id remember you.
Im sorry I bothered you. I grabbed my purse and swung it over my shoulder. Good luck with your car.
Ill let you know how it goes.
With one last shiver, I hightailed it out of that pizza hut. The smell of marinara and bread now turned my stomach, and I couldnt keep from looking over my shoulder as I drove all the way back through town.
Id changed my mind. Dan couldnt be ruled out as a harmless nutcase. When hed watched me leave, itd felt like icy water had been dumped over my shoulders. I needed to let the Chief know about Dan, and fast.