Sir _Cau_. What, set it against my Wife?
_Gay_. Wife, Sir! ay, your Wife--
Sir _Cau_. Hum, my Wife against three hundred Pounds! What, all my Wife, Sir?
_Gay_. All your Wife! Why, Sir, some part of her wou"d serve my turn.
Sir _Cau_. Hum--my Wife--why, if I shou"d lose, he cou"d not have the Impudence to take her. [Aside.
_Gay_. Well, I find you are not for the Bargain, and so I put up--
Sir _Cau_. Hold, Sir--why so hasty--my Wife? no--put up your Money, Sir--what, lose my Wife for three hundred Pounds!--
_Gay_. Lose her, Sir!--why, she shall be never the worse for my wearing, Sir--the old covetous Rogue is considering on"t, I think--What say you to a Night? I"ll set it to a Night--there"s none need know it, Sir.
Sir _Cau_. Hum--a Night!--three hundred Pounds for a Night! why, what a lavish Wh.o.r.e-master"s this! We take Money to marry our Wives, but very seldom part with "em, and by the Bargain get Money--For a Night, say you?--Gad, if I shou"d take the Rogue at his word, "twou"d be a pure Jest. [Aside.
Sir _Feeb_. You are not mad, Brother.
Sir _Cau_. No, but I"m wise--and that"s as good; let me consider.--
Sir _Feeb_. What, whether you shall be a Cuckold or not?
Sir _Cau_. Or lose three hundred Pounds--consider that. A Cuckold!--why, "tis a word--an empty sound--"tis Breath--"tis Air--"tis nothing:--but three hundred Pounds--Lord, what will not three hundred Pounds do? You may chance to be a Cuckold for nothing, Sir--
Sir _Feeb_. It may be so--but she shall do"t discretly then.
Sir _Cau_. Under favour, you"re an a.s.s, Brother; this is the discreetest way of doing it, I take it.
Sir _Feeb_. But wou"d a wise man expose his Wife?
Sir _Cau_. Why, _Cato_ was a wiser Man than I, and he lent his Wife to a young Fellow they call"d _Hortensius_, as Story says; and can a wise Man have a better Precedent than _Cato_?
Sir _Feeb_. I say, _Cato_ was an a.s.s, Sir, for obliging any young Rogue of "em all.
Sir _Cau_. But I am of _Cato"s_ mind. Well, a single Night you say.
_Gay_. A single Night--to have--to hold--possess--and so forth, at discretion.
Sir _Cau_. A Night--I shall have her safe and sound i"th" Morning.
Sir _Feeb_. Safe, no doubt on"t--but how sound.--
_Gay_. And for Non-performance, you shall pay me three hundred Pounds, I"ll forfeit as much if I tell--
Sir _Cau_. Tell?--why, make your three hundred pounds six hundred, and let it be put into the _Gazet_, if you will, Man.--But it"s a Bargain?
_Gay_. Done--Sir Feeble shall be witness--and there stands my Hat.
[_Puts down his Hat of Money, and each of em take a Box and Dice, and kneel on the Stage, the rest come about "em_.
Sir _Cau_. He that comes first to One and thirty wins--
[_They throw and count_.
L. _Ful_. What are you playing for?
Sir _Feeb_. Nothing, nothing--but a Trial of Skill between an old Man and a Young--and your Ladyship is to be Judge.
L. _Ful_. I shall be partial, Sir.
Sir _Cau_. Six and five"s Eleven-- [_Throws, and pulls the Hat towards him_.
_Gay_. Cater Tray--Pox of the Dice--
Sir _Cau_. Two fives--one and twenty-- [_Sets up, pulls the Hat nearer_.
_Gay_. Now, Luck--Doublets of sixes--nineteen.
Sir _Cau_. Five and four--thirty-- [_Draws the Hat to him_.
Sir _Feeb_. Now if he wins it, I"ll swear he has a Fly indeed--"tis impossible without Doublets of sixes--
_Gay_, Now Fortune smile--and for the future frown. [_Throws_.
Sir _Cau_.--Hum--two sixes-- [_Rises and looks dolefully round_.
L. _Ful_. How now? what"s the matter you look so like an a.s.s, what have you lost?
Sir _Cau_. A Bauble--a Bauble--"tis not for what I"ve lost--but because I have not won--
Sir _Feeb_. You look very simple, Sir--what think you of _Cato_ now?
Sir _Cau_. A wise Man may have his failings--
L. _Ful_. What has my Husband lost?--
Sir _Cau_. Only a small parcel of Ware that lay dead upon my hands, Sweet-heart.
_Gay_. But I shall improve "em, Madam, I"ll warrant you.
L. _Ful_. Well, since "tis no worse, bring in your fine Dancer, Cousin, you say you brought to entertain your Mistress with.
[Bearjest _goes out_.
_Gay_. Sir, you"ll take care to see me paid to Night?
Sir _Cau_. Well, Sir--but my Lady, you must know, Sir, has the common frailties of her s.e.x, and will refuse what she even longs for, if persuaded to"t by me.