_Leyd._ And I at _Leyden_, almost as long since.
_Fat_ D. And I at _Barcelona_ thirty.
Sir _Cred._ And I at _Padua_, Sir.
_Fat_ D. You at _Padua?_
Sir _Cred._ Yes, Sir, I at _Padua_; why, what a pox, do ye think I never was beyond Sea?
_Brun._ However, Sir, you are the youngest Doctor, and must write.
Sir _Cred._ I will not lose an inch of my Dignity.
_Fat_ D. Nor I.
_Amst._ Nor I.
_Leyd._ Nor I. [Put the Paper from each other.
_Brun._ Death, what Rascals are these?
Sir _Cred._ Give me the Pen--here"s ado about your _Paduas_ and Punctilioes.
[Sets himself to write.
_Amst._ Every morning a Dose of my Pills _Merda queorusticon_, or the Amicable Pill.
Sir _Cred._ Fasting?
_Leyd._ Every Hour sixscore drops of _Adminicula Vitae_.
Sir _Cred._ Fasting too? [Sir _Cred._ writes still.
_Fat_ D. At Night twelve Cordial Pills, _Gallimofriticus_.
_Turb._ Let Blood once a Week, a Glister once a day.
_Brun._ Cry Mercy, Sir, you"re a _French_ Man.--After his first Sleep, threescore restorative Pills, call"d _Cheatus Redivivus_.
Sir _Cred._ And lastly, fifteen Spoonfuls of my _Aqua Tetrachymagogon_, as often as "tis necessary; little or no Breakfast, less Dinner, and go supperless to Bed.
_Fat_ D. Hum, your _Aqua Tetrachymagogon_?
Sir _Cred._ Yes, Sir, my _Tetrachymagogon_; for look ye, do you see, Sir, I cur"d the Arch-Duke of _Strumbulo_ of a _Gondileero_, of which he dy"d, with this very _Aqua Tetrachymagogon_.
Enter Sir _Patient_.
Sir _Pat._ Well, Gentlemen, am I not an intruder?
_Fat_ D. Sir, we have duly consider"d the state of your Body; and are now about the Order and Method you are to observe.
_Brun._ Ay, this Distemper will be the occasion of his Death.
Sir _Cred._ Hold, Brothers, I do not say the occasion of his Death; but the occasional Cause of his Death.
[Sir _Pat._ reads the Bill.
Sir _Pat._ Why, here"s no time allow"d for eating, Gentlemen.
_Amst._ Sir, we"ll justify this Prescription to the whole College.
_Leyd._ If he will not follow it, let him die.
_All._ Ay, let him die.
Enter _Lodwick_ and _Leander_.
_Lod._ What, have you consulted without me, Gentlemen?
[_Lod._ reads the Bill.
Sir _Pat._ Yes, Sir, and find it absolutely necessary for my Health, Sir, I shou"d be starv"d: and yet you say I am not sick, Sir.
[To _Lean._
_Lod._ Very well, very well.
Sir _Pat._ No Breakfast, no Dinner, no Supper?
Sir _Cred._ Little or none, but none"s best.
Sir _Pat._ But, Gentlemen, consider, no small thing?
_All._ Nothing, nothing.
Sir _Cred._ Sir, you must write for your Fee. [To _Lod._
_Lod._ Now I think on"t, Sir, you may eat [Writes.
a roasted Pippin cold upon a Vine-leaf, at night.
_Lean._ Do you see, Sir, what d.a.m.n"d canting Rascals these Doctors are?
Sir _Pat._ Ay, ay, if all Doctors were such, ingenuously, I shou"d soon be weary of Physick.
_Lean._ Give "em their Fees, Sir, and send "em to the Devil for a Company of Cheats.
Sir _Pat._ Truth is, there is no faith in "em,--well, I thank you for your Care and Pains.
[Gives "em Fees.
Sir _Cred._ Sir, if you have any occasion for me, I live at the red-colour"d Lanthorn, with eleven Candles in"t, in the _Strand_; where you may come in privately, and need not be ashamed, I having no Creature in my House but my self, and my whole Family.--
_Ick quam Van Neder Landt te spreken End helpen Van Pocken end ander gebreken._