_Aria._ Farewel, believing c.o.xcomb. [Enter _Lucia_.
_Lucia._ Madam, the Clothes are ready in your Chamber.
_Aria._ Let"s haste and put "em on then. [Runs out.
ACT III.
SCENE I. _A House._
Enter _Fetherfool_ and _Blunt_, staring about, after them _Shift_.
_Shift._ Well, Gentlemen, this is the Doctor"s House, and your fifty Pistoles has made him intirely yours; the Ladies too are here in safe Custody-- Come, draw Lots who shall have the Dwarf, and who the Giant.
[They draw.
_Feth._ I have the Giant.
_Blunt._ And I the little tiny Gentlewoman.
_Shift._ Well, you shall first see the Ladies, and then prepare for your Uncle _Moses_, the old _Jew_ Guardian, before whom you must be very grave and sententious: You know the old Law was full of Ceremony.
_Feth._ Well, I long to see the Ladies, and to have the first Onset over.
_Shift._ I"ll cause "em to walk forth immediately. [Goes out.
_Feth._ My Heart begins to fail me plaguily-- would I could see "em a little at a Distance before they come slap dash upon a Man.
[Peeping.
Hah!-- Mercy upon us!-- What"s yonder!-- Ah, _Ned_, my Monster is as big as the Wh.o.r.e of _Babylon_-- Oh I"m in a cold Sweat-- [_Blunt_ pulls him to peep, and both do so.
Oh Lord! she"s as tall as the St. _Christopher_ in _Notre-dame_ at _Paris_, and the little one looks like the Christo upon his Shoulders-- I shall ne"er be able to stand the first Brunt.
_Blunt._ "Dsheartlikins, whither art going? [Pulls him back.
_Feth._ Why only-- to-- say my Prayers a little-- I"ll be with thee presently.
[Offers to go, he pulls him.
_Blunt._ What a Pox, art thou afraid of a Woman--
_Feth._ Not of a Woman, _Ned_, but of a She _Gargantua_, I am of a _Hercules_ in Petticoats.
_Blunt._ The less Resemblance the better. "Shartlikins, I"d rather mine were a _Centaur_ than a Woman: No, since my _Naples_ Adventure, I am clearly for your Monster.
_Feth._ Prithee, _Ned_, there"s Reason in all things--
_Blunt._ But villainous Woman-- "Dshartlikins, stand your Ground, or I"ll nail you to"t: Why, what a Pox are you so quezy stomach"d, a Monster won"t down with you, with a hundred thousand Pound to boot.
[Pulling him.
_Feth._ Nay, _Ned_, that mollifies something; and I scorn it should be said of _Nich. Fetherfool_ that he left his Friend in danger, or did an ill thing: therefore, as thou say"st, _Ned_, tho she were a Centaur, I"ll not budg an Inch.
_Blunt._ Why G.o.d a Mercy.
Enter the _Giant_ and _Dwarf_, with them _Shift_ as an Operator, and _Harlequin_ attending.
_Feth._ Oh-- they come-- Prithee, _Ned_, advance-- [Puts him forward.
_Shift._ Most beautiful Ladies.
_Feth._ Why, what a flattering Son of a Wh.o.r.e"s this?
_Shift._ These are the ill.u.s.trious Persons your Uncle designs your humble Servants, and who have so extraordinary a Pa.s.sion for your Seignioraships.
_Feth._ Oh yes, a most d.a.m.nable one: Wou"d I were cleanlily off the Lay, and had my Money again.
_Blunt._ Think of a Million, Rogue, and do not hang an a.r.s.e thus.
_Giant._ What, does the Cavalier think I"ll devour him? [To _Shift_.
_Feth._ Something inclin"d to such a Fear.
_Blunt._ Go and salute her, or, Adsheartlikins, I"ll leave you to her Mercy.
_Feth._ Oh, dear _Ned_, have pity on me-- but as for saluting her, you speak of more than may be done, dear Heart, without a Scaling Ladder.
[Exit _Shift_.
_Dwarf._ Sure, Seignior _Harlequin,_ these Gentlemen are dumb.
_Blunt._ No, my little diminutive Mistress, my small Epitomy of Woman-kind, we can prattle when our Hands are in, but we are raw and bashful, young Beginners; for this is the first time we ever were in love: we are something aukard, or so, but we shall come on in time, and mend upon Incouragement.
_Feth._ Pox on him, what a delicate Speech has he made now-- "Gad, I"d give a thousand Pounds a Year for _Ned"s_ concise Wit, but not a Groat for his Judgment in Womankind.
Enter Shift with a Ladder, sets it against the Giant, and bows to _Fetherfool_.
_Shift._ Here, Seignior, Don, approach, mount, and salute the Lady.
_Feth._ Mount! why,"twould turn my Brains to look down from her Shoulders-- But hang"t, "Gad, I will be brave and venture.
[Runs up the Ladder, salutes her, and runs down again.
And Egad this was an Adventure and a bold one-- but since I am come off with a whole Skin, I am flesht for the next onset-- Madam-- has your Greatness any mind to marry?
[Goes to her, speaks, and runs back; Blunt claps him on the Back.
_Giant._ What if I have?
_Feth._ Why then, Madam, without inchanted Sword or Buckler, I"m your Man.
_Giant._ My Man? my Mouse. I"ll marry none whose Person and Courage shall not bear some Proportion to mine.
_Feth._ Your Mightiness I fear will die a Maid then.