Then there"s the vulgar trick of those d----d damages!
A verdict--grievous foe to those who cause it!-- Forms a sad climax to romantic homages; Besides those soothing speeches of the pleaders, And evidences which regale all readers.
LXVI.
But they who blunder thus are raw beginners; A little genial sprinkling of hypocrisy Has saved the fame of thousand splendid sinners, The loveliest oligarchs of our Gynocracy;[638]
You may see such at all the b.a.l.l.s and dinners, Among the proudest of our aristocracy, So gentle, charming, charitable, chaste-- And all by having _tact_ as well as taste.
LXVII.
Juan, who did not stand in the predicament Of a mere novice, had one safeguard more; For he was sick--no, "t was not the word _sick_ I meant-- But he had seen so much good love before, That he was not in heart so very weak;--I meant But thus much, and no sneer against the sh.o.r.e Of white cliffs, white necks, blue eyes, bluer stockings-- t.i.thes, taxes, duns--and doors with double knockings.[ls]
LXVIII.
But coming young from lands and scenes romantic, Where lives, not lawsuits, must be risked for Pa.s.sion And Pa.s.sion"s self must have a spice of frantic, Into a country where "t is half a fashion, Seemed to him half commercial, half pedantic, Howe"er he might esteem this moral nation: Besides (alas! his taste--forgive and pity!) At _first_ he did not think the women pretty.
LXIX.
I say at _first_--for he found out at _last_, But by degrees, that they were fairer far Than the more glowing dames whose lot is cast Beneath the influence of the Eastern Star.
A further proof we should not judge in haste; Yet inexperience could not be his bar To taste:--the truth is, if men would confess, That novelties _please_ less than they _impress_.
LXX.
Though travelled, I have never had the luck to Trace up those shuffling negroes, Nile or Niger, To that impracticable place Timbuctoo, Where Geography finds no one to oblige her With such a chart as may be safely stuck to-- For Europe ploughs in Afric like "_bos piger_:"[639]
But if I _had been_ at Timbuctoo, there No doubt I should be told that black is fair.[lt][640]
LXXI.
It is. 1 will not swear that black is white, But I suspect in fact that white is black, And the whole matter rests upon eye-sight:-- Ask a blind man, the best judge. You"ll attack Perhaps this new position--but I"m right; Or if I"m wrong, I"ll not be ta"en aback:-- He hath no morn nor night, but all is dark Within--and what seest thou? A dubious spark!
LXXII.
But I"m relapsing into Metaphysics, That labyrinth, whose clue is of the same Construction as your cures for hectic phthisics, Those bright moths fluttering round a dying flame: And this reflection brings me to plain Physics, And to the beauties of a foreign dame, Compared with those of our pure pearls of price, Those polar summers, _all_ Sun, and some ice.[lu][641]
LXXIII.
Or say they are like virtuous mermaids, whose Beginnings are fair faces, ends mere fishes;-- Not that there"s not a quant.i.ty of those Who have a due respect for their own wishes.
Like Russians rushing from hot baths to snows[642]
Are they, at bottom virtuous even when vicious: They warm into a sc.r.a.pe, but keep of course, As a reserve, a plunge into remorse.
LXXIV.
But this has nought to do with their outsides.
I said that Juan did not think them pretty At the first blush; for a fair Briton hides Half her attractions--probably from pity--And rather calmly into the heart glides, Than storms it as a foe would take a city; But once _there_ (if you doubt this, prithee try)[lv]
She keeps it for you like a true ally.
LXXV.
She cannot step as does an Arab barb,[643]
Or Andalusian girl from ma.s.s returning, Nor wear as gracefully as Gauls her garb, Nor in her eye Ausonia"s glance is burning; Her voice, though sweet, is not so fit to warb- le those _bravuras_ (which I still am learning To like, though I have been seven years in Italy, And have, or had, an ear that served me prettily);--
LXXVI.
She cannot do these things, nor one or two Others, in that off-hand and dashing style Which takes so much--to give the Devil his due; Nor is she quite so ready with her smile, Nor settles all things in one interview, (A thing approved as saving time and toil);-- But though the soil may give you time and trouble, Well cultivated, it will render double.
LXXVII.
And if in fact she takes to a _grande pa.s.sion_, It is a very serious thing indeed: Nine times in ten "t is but caprice or fashion, Coquetry, or a wish to take the lead, The pride of a mere child with a new sash on, Or wish to make a rival"s bosom bleed: But the _tenth_ instance will be a tornado, For there"s no saying what they will or may do.
LXXVIII.
The reason"s obvious: if there"s an _eclat_, They lose their caste at once, as do the Parias; And when the delicacies of the Law Have filled their papers with their comments various, Society, that china without flaw, (The Hypocrite!) will banish them like Marius, To sit amidst the ruins of their guilt:[644]
For Fame"s a Carthage not so soon rebuilt.
LXXIX.
Perhaps this is as it should be;--it is A comment on the Gospel"s "Sin no more, And be thy sins forgiven:"--but upon this I leave the Saints to settle their own score.
Abroad, though doubtless they do much amiss, An erring woman finds an opener door For her return to Virtue--as they call That Lady, who should be at home to all.[lw]
Lx.x.x.
For me, I leave the matter where I find it, Knowing that such uneasy virtue leads People some ten times less in fact to mind it, And care but for discoveries, and not deeds.
And as for Chast.i.ty, you"ll never bind it By all the laws the strictest lawyer pleads, But aggravate the crime you have not prevented, By rendering desperate those who had else repented.
Lx.x.xI.
But Juan was no casuist, nor had pondered Upon the moral lessons of mankind: Besides, he had not seen of several hundred A lady altogether to his mind.
A little _blase_--"t is not to be wondered At, that his heart had got a tougher rind: And though not vainer from his past success, No doubt his sensibilities were less.
Lx.x.xII.
He also had been busy seeing sights-- The Parliament and all the other houses; Had sat beneath the Gallery at nights, To hear debates whose thunder _roused_ (not _rouses_) The World to gaze upon those Northern Lights, Which flashed as far as where the musk-bull browses;[645]
He had also stood at times behind the Throne-- But Grey[646] was not arrived, and Chatham gone.[647]
Lx.x.xIII.
He saw, however, at the closing session, That n.o.ble sight, when _really_ free the nation, A King in const.i.tutional possession Of such a Throne as is the proudest station, Though Despots know it not--till the progression Of Freedom shall complete their education.
"T is not mere Splendour makes the show august To eye or heart--it is the People"s trust.
Lx.x.xIV.
There, too, he saw (whate"er he may be now) A Prince, the prince of Princes at the time,[648]
With fascination in his very bow, And full of promise, as the spring of prime.
Though Royalty was written on his brow, He had _then_ the grace, too, rare in every clime, Of being, without alloy of fop or beau, A finished Gentleman from top to toe.[649]
Lx.x.xV.
And Juan was received, as hath been said, Into the best society; and there Occurred what often happens, I"m afraid, However disciplined and debonnaire:-- The talent and good humour he displayed, Besides the marked distinction of his air, Exposed him, as was natural, to temptation, Even though himself avoided the occasion.
Lx.x.xVI.