XXII.
A modest hope--but Modesty"s my forte, And Pride my feeble:[741]--let us ramble on.
I meant to make this poem very short, But now I can"t tell where it may not run.[no]
No doubt, if I had wished to pay my court To critics, or to hail the _setting_ sun Of Tyranny of all kinds, my concision[742]
Were more;--but I was born for opposition.
XXIII.
But then "t is mostly on the weaker side; So that I verily believe if they Who now are basking in their full-blown pride[np]
Were shaken down, and "dogs had had their day,"[743]
Though at the first I might perchance deride Their tumble, I should turn the other way, And wax an ultra-royalist in Loyalty, Because I hate even democratic Royalty.[nq]
XXIV.
I think I should have made a decent spouse, If I had never proved the soft condition; I think I should have made monastic vows But for my own peculiar superst.i.tion: "Gainst rhyme I never should have knocked my brows, Nor broken my own head, nor that of Priscian,[744]
Nor worn the motley mantle of a poet, If some one had not told me to forego it.[745]
XXV.
But _laissez aller_--Knights and Dames I sing, Such as the times may furnish. "T is a flight Which seems at first to need no lofty wing, Plumed by Longinus or the Stagyrite:[nr]
The difficulty lies in colouring (Keeping the due proportions still in sight) With Nature manners which are artificial, And rend"ring general that which is especial.
XXVI.
The difference is, that in the days of old Men made the Manners; Manners now make men-- Pinned like a flock, and fleeced too in their fold, At least nine, and a ninth beside of ten.
Now this at all events must render cold Your writers, who must either draw again Days better drawn before, or else a.s.sume The present, with their common-place costume.
XXVII.
We"ll do our best to make the best on "t:--March!
March, my Muse! If you cannot fly, yet flutter; And when you may not be sublime, be arch, Or starch, as are the edicts statesmen utter.
We surely may find something worth research: Columbus found a new world in a cutter, Or brigantine, or pink, of no great tonnage, While yet America was in her non-age.[746]
XXVIII.
When Adeline, in all her growing sense Of Juan"s merits and his situation, Felt on the whole an interest intense,-- Partly perhaps because a fresh sensation, Or that he had an air of innocence, Which is for Innocence a sad temptation,-- As Women hate half measures, on the whole,[ns]
She "gan to ponder how to save his soul.
XXIX.
She had a good opinion of Advice, Like all who give and eke receive it gratis, For which small thanks are still the market price, Even where the article at highest rate is: She thought upon the subject twice or thrice, And morally decided--the best state is For Morals--Marriage; and, this question carried, She seriously advised him to get married.
x.x.x.
Juan replied, with all becoming deference, He had a predilection for that tie; But that, at present, with immediate reference To his own circ.u.mstances, there might lie Some difficulties, as in his own preference, Or that of her to whom he might apply: That still he"d wed with such or such a lady, If that they were not married all already.
x.x.xI.
Next to the making matches for herself, And daughters, brothers, sisters, kith or kin, Arranging them like books on the same shelf, There"s nothing women love to dabble in More (like a stock-holder in growing pelf) Than match-making in general: "t is no sin Certes, but a preventative, and therefore That is, no doubt, the only reason wherefore.
x.x.xII.
But never yet (except of course a miss Unwed, or mistress never to be wed, Or wed already, who object to this) Was there chaste dame who had not in her head Some drama of the marriage Unities, Observed as strictly both at board and bed, As those of Aristotle, though sometimes They turn out Melodrames or Pantomimes.
x.x.xIII.
They generally have some only son, Some heir to a large property, some friend Of an old family, some gay Sir John, Or grave Lord George, with whom perhaps might end A line, and leave Posterity undone, Unless a marriage was applied to mend The prospect and their morals: and besides, They have at hand a blooming glut of brides.
x.x.xIV.
From these they will be careful to select, For this an heiress, and for that a beauty; For one a songstress who hath no defect, For t" other one who promises much duty; For this a lady no one can reject, Whose sole accomplishments were quite a booty; A second for her excellent connections; A third, because there can be no objections.
x.x.xV.
When Rapp the Harmonist embargoed Marriage[747]
In his harmonious settlement--(which flourishes Strangely enough as yet without miscarriage, Because it breeds no more mouths than it nourishes, Without those sad expenses which disparage What Nature naturally most encourages)-- Why called he "Harmony" a state sans wedlock?
Now here I"ve got the preacher at a dead lock.
x.x.xVI.
Because he either meant to sneer at Harmony Or Marriage, by divorcing them thus oddly.
But whether reverend Rapp learned this in Germany Or no, "t is said his sect is rich and G.o.dly, Pious and pure, beyond what I can term any Of ours, although they propagate more broadly.
My objection"s to his t.i.tle, not his ritual.
Although I wonder how it grew habitual.[nt]
x.x.xVII.
But Rapp is the reverse of zealous matrons, Who favour, _malgre_ Malthus, Generation-- Professors of that genial art, and patrons Of all the modest part of Propagation; Which after all at such a desperate rate runs, That half its produce tends to Emigration, That sad result of pa.s.sions and potatoes-- Two weeds which pose our economic Catos.
x.x.xVIII.
Had Adeline read Malthus? I can"t tell; I wish she had: his book"s the eleventh commandment, Which says, "Thou shall not marry," unless _well_: This he (as far as I can understand) meant.
"T is not my purpose on his views to dwell, Nor canva.s.s what "so eminent a hand" meant;[748]
But, certes, it conducts to lives ascetic, Or turning Marriage into Arithmetic.
x.x.xIX.
But Adeline, who probably presumed That Juan had enough of maintenance, Or _separate_ maintenance, in case "t was doomed-- As on the whole it is an even chance That bridegrooms, after they are fairly _groomed_, May retrograde a little in the Dance Of Marriage--(which might form a painter"s fame, Like Holbein"s "Dance of Death"[749]--but "t is the same)--
XL.
But Adeline determined Juan"s wedding In her own mind, and that"s enough for Woman: But then, with whom? There was the sage Miss Reading, Miss Raw, Miss Flaw, Miss Showman, and Miss Knowman,[nu]
And the two fair co-heiresses Giltbedding.
She deemed his merits something more than common: All these were un.o.bjectionable matches, And might go on, if well wound up, like watches.
XLI.
There was Miss Millpond, smooth as summer"s sea,[nv]
That usual paragon, an only daughter, Who seemed the cream of Equanimity, Till skimmed--and then there was some milk and water, With a slight shade of blue too, it might be, Beneath the surface; but what did it matter?