[Footnote 2: More expressive.--[_MS_.]
[Footnote 3: My Latin is all forgotten, if a man can be said to have forgotten what he never remembered; but I bought my t.i.tle-page motto of a Catholic priest for a three-shilling bank token, after much haggling for the even sixpence. I grudged the money to a papist, being all for the memory of Perceval and "No popery," and quite regretting the downfall of the pope, because we can"t burn him any more.--[Revise No.
2.] ]
[Footnote 4: See "Rejected Addresses".]
THE WALTZ
Muse of the many-twinkling feet! [1] whose charms Are now extended up from legs to arms; Terpsich.o.r.e!--too long misdeemed a maid-- Reproachful term--bestowed but to upbraid-- Henceforth in all the bronze of brightness shine, [i]
The least a Vestal of the Virgin Nine.
Far be from thee and thine the name of Prude: Mocked yet triumphant; sneered at, unsubdued; Thy legs must move to conquer as they fly, If but thy coats are reasonably high! 10 Thy breast--if bare enough--requires no shield; Dance forth--_sans armour_ thou shalt take the field And own--impregnable to _most_ a.s.saults, Thy not too lawfully begotten "Waltz."
Hail, nimble Nymph! to whom the young hussar, [2]
The whiskered votary of Waltz and War, His night devotes, despite of spur and boots; A sight unmatched since Orpheus and his brutes: Hail, spirit-stirring Waltz!--beneath whose banners A modern hero fought for modish manners; 20 On Hounslow"s heath to rival Wellesley"s [3] fame, c.o.c.ked, fired, and missed his man--but gained his aim; Hail, moving muse! to whom the fair one"s breast Gives all it can, and bids us take the rest.
Oh! for the flow of Busby, [4] or of Fitz, The latter"s loyalty, the former"s wits, To "energise the object I pursue,"
And give both Belial and his Dance their due! [ii]
Imperial Waltz! imported from the Rhine (Famed for the growth of pedigrees and wine), 30 Long be thine import from all duty free, And Hock itself be less esteemed than thee; In some few qualities alike--for Hock Improves our cellar--_thou_ our living stock.
The head to Hock belongs--thy subtler art Intoxicates alone the heedless heart: Through the full veins thy gentler poison swims, And wakes to Wantonness the willing limbs.
Oh, Germany! how much to thee we owe, As heaven-born Pitt can testify below, 40 Ere cursed Confederation made thee France"s, And only left us thy d--d debts and dances! [5]
Of subsidies and Hanover bereft, We bless thee still--George the Third is left!
Of kings the best--and last, not least in worth, For graciously begetting George the Fourth.
To Germany, and Highnesses serene, Who owe us millions--don"t we owe the Queen?
To Germany, what owe we not besides?
So oft bestowing Brunswickers and brides; 50 Who paid for vulgar, with her royal blood, Drawn from the stem of each Teutonic stud: Who sent us--so be pardoned all her faults-- A dozen dukes, some kings, a Queen--and Waltz.
But peace to her--her Emperor and Diet, Though now transferred to Buonaparte"s "fiat!"
Back to my theme--O muse of Motion! say, How first to Albion found thy Waltz her way?
Borne on the breath of Hyperborean gales, From Hamburg"s port (while Hamburg yet had _mails_), 60 Ere yet unlucky Fame--compelled to creep To snowy Gottenburg-was chilled to sleep; Or, starting from her slumbers, deigned arise, Heligoland! to stock thy mart with lies; [iii]
While unburnt Moscow [6] yet had news to send, Nor owed her fiery Exit to a friend, She came--Waltz came--and with her certain sets Of true despatches, and as true Gazettes; Then flamed of Austerlitz the blest despatch, [7]
Which _Moniteur_ nor _Morning Post_ can match 70 And--almost crushed beneath the glorious news-- Ten plays, and forty tales of Kotzebue"s; [8]
One envoy"s letters, six composer"s airs, And loads from Frankfort and from Leipsic fairs: Meiners" four volumes upon Womankind, [9]
Like Lapland witches to ensure a wind; Brunck"s heaviest tome for ballast, [10] and, to back it, Of Heyne, [11] such as should not sink the packet. [iv]
Fraught with this cargo--and her fairest freight, Delightful Waltz, on tiptoe for a Mate, 80 The welcome vessel reached the genial strand, And round her flocked the daughters of the land.
Not decent David, when, before the ark, His grand _Pas-seul_ excited some remark; Not love-lorn Quixote, when his Sancho thought The knight"s _Fandango_ friskier than it ought; Not soft Herodias, when, with winning tread, Her nimble feet danced off another"s head; Not Cleopatra on her Galley"s Deck, Displayed so much of _leg_ or more of _neck_, 90 Than Thou, ambrosial Waltz, when first the Moon Beheld thee twirling to a Saxon tune!
To You, ye husbands of ten years! whose brows Ache with the annual tributes of a spouse; To you of nine years less, who only bear The budding sprouts of those that you _shall_ wear, With added ornaments around them rolled Of native bra.s.s, or law-awarded gold; To You, ye Matrons, ever on the watch To mar a son"s, or make a daughter"s match; 100 To You, ye children of--whom chance accords-- _Always_ the Ladies, and _sometimes_ their Lords; To You, ye single gentlemen, who seek Torments for life, or pleasures for a week; As Love or Hymen your endeavours guide, To gain your own, or s.n.a.t.c.h another"s bride;-- To one and all the lovely Stranger came, And every Ball-room echoes with her name.
Endearing Waltz!--to thy more melting tune Bow Irish Jig, and ancient Rigadoon. [12] 110 Scotch reels, avaunt! and Country-dance forego Your future claims to each fantastic toe!
Waltz--Waltz alone--both legs and arms demands, Liberal of feet, and lavish of her hands; Hands which may freely range in public sight Where ne"er before--but--pray "put out the light."
Methinks the glare of yonder chandelier Shines much too far--or I am much too near; And true, though strange--Waltz whispers this remark, "My slippery steps are safest in the dark!" 120 But here the Muse with due decorum halts, And lends her longest petticoat to "Waltz."
Observant Travellers of every time!
Ye Quartos published upon every clime!
0 say, shall dull _Romaika"s_ heavy round, _Fandango"s_ wriggle, or _Bolero"s_ bound; Can Egypt"s _Almas_ [13]--tantalising group-- Columbia"s caperers to the warlike Whoop-- Can aught from cold Kamschatka to Cape Horn With Waltz compare, or after Waltz be born? 130 Ah, no! from Morier"s pages down to Galt"s, [14]
Each tourist pens a paragraph for "Waltz."
Shades of those Belles whose reign began of yore, With George the Third"s--and ended long before!-- Though in your daughters" daughters yet you thrive, [v]
Burst from your lead, and be yourselves alive!
Back to the Ball-room speed your spectred host, Fool"s Paradise is dull to that you lost. [vi]
No treacherous powder bids Conjecture quake; No stiff-starched stays make meddling fingers ache; [vii] 140 (Transferred to those ambiguous things that ape Goats in their visage, [15] women in their shape;) No damsel faints when rather closely pressed, But more caressing seems when most caressed; Superfluous Hartshorn, and reviving Salts, Both banished by the sovereign cordial "Waltz."
Seductive Waltz!--though on thy native sh.o.r.e Even Werter"s self proclaimed thee half a wh.o.r.e; Werter--to decent vice though much inclined, Yet warm, not wanton; dazzled, but not blind-- 150 Though gentle Genlis, [16] in her strife with Stael, Would even proscribe thee from a Paris ball; The fashion hails--from Countesses to Queens, And maids and valets waltz behind the scenes; Wide and more wide thy witching circle spreads, And turns--if nothing else--at least our _heads_; With thee even clumsy cits attempt to bounce, And c.o.c.kney"s practise what they can"t p.r.o.nounce.
G.o.ds! how the glorious theme my strain exalts, And Rhyme finds partner Rhyme in praise of "Waltz!" 160 Blest was the time Waltz chose for her _debut_!
The Court, the Regent, like herself were new; [17]
New face for friends, for foes some new rewards; New ornaments for black-and royal Guards; [viii]
New laws to hang the rogues that roared for bread; New coins (most new) [18] to follow those that fled; New victories--nor can we prize them less, Though Jenky [19] wonders at his own success; New wars, because the old succeed so well, That most survivors envy those who fell; 170 New mistresses--no, old--and yet "tis true, Though they be _old_, the _thing_ is something new; Each new, quite new--(except some ancient tricks), [20]
New white-sticks--gold-sticks--broom-sticks--_all new sticks_!
With vests or ribands--decked alike in hue, New troopers strut, new turncoats blush in blue: So saith the Muse: my----, [21] what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain Her new preferments in this novel reign; Such was the time, nor ever yet was such; 180 Hoops are _ more_, and petticoats _not much_; Morals and Minuets, Virtue and her stays, And tell-tale powder--all have had their days.
The Ball begins--the honours of the house First duly done by daughter or by spouse, Some Potentate--or royal or serene-- With Kent"s gay grace, or sapient Gloster"s mien, [ix]
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free, 190 That spot where hearts [22] were once supposed to be; Round all the confines of the yielded waist, The strangest hand may wander undisplaced: The lady"s in return may grasp as much As princely paunches offer to her touch.
Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip One hand reposing on the royal hip! [23]
The other to the shoulder no less royal Ascending with affection truly loyal!
Thus front to front the partners move or stand, 200 The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand; And all in turn may follow in their rank, The Earl of--Asterisk--and Lady--Blank; Sir--Such-a-one--with those of fashion"s host, [x] [24]
For whose blest surnames--vide "Morning Post."
(Or if for that impartial print too late, Search Doctors" Commons six months from my date)-- Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow, The genial contact gently undergo; Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk, 210 If "nothing follows all this palming work?" [25]
True, honest Mirza!--you may trust my rhyme-- Something does follow at a fitter time; The breast thus publicly resigned to man, In private may resist him--if it can.
O ye who loved our Grandmothers of yore, Fitzpatrick, [26] Sheridan, and many more!
And thou, my Prince! whose sovereign taste and will [xi]
It is to love the lovely beldames still!
Thou Ghost of Queensberry! [27] whose judging Sprite 220 Satan may spare to peep a single night, p.r.o.nounce--if ever in your days of bliss Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this; To teach the young ideas how to rise, Flush in the cheek, and languish in the eyes; Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame, With half-told wish, and ill-dissembled flame, For prurient Nature still will storm the breast-- _Who_, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?
But ye--who never felt a single thought 230 For what our Morals are to be, or ought; Who wisely wish the charms you view to reap, Say--would you make those beauties quite so cheap?
Hot from the hands promiscuously applied, Round the slight waist, or down the glowing side, Where were the rapture then to clasp the form From this lewd grasp and lawless contact warm? [xii]
At once Love"s most endearing thought resign, To press the hand so pressed by none but thine; To gaze upon that eye which never met 240 Another"s ardent look without regret; Approach the lip which all, without restraint, Come near enough--if not to touch--to taint; If such thou lovest--love her then no more, Or give--like her--caresses to a score; Her Mind with these is gone, and with it go The little left behind it to bestow.
Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme?
Thy bard forgot thy praises were his theme.
Terpsich.o.r.e forgive!--at every Ball 250 My wife _now_ waltzes--and my daughters _shall_; _My_ son--(or stop--"tis needless to inquire-- These little accidents should ne"er transpire; Some ages hence our genealogic tree [xiii]
Will wear as green a bough for him as me)-- Waltzing shall rear, to make our name amends Grandsons for me--in heirs to all his friends.
[Footnote 1: "Glance their many-twinkling feet."--GRAY.]