When Fame"s loud trump hath blown its n.o.blest blast, Though long the sound, the echo sleeps at last; And glory, like the Phoenix [145] midst her fires, Exhales her odours, blazes, and expires. 960
Shall h.o.a.ry Granta call her sable sons, Expert in science, more expert at puns?
Shall these approach the Muse? ah, no! she flies, Even from the tempting ore of Seaton"s prize; [lxviii]
Though Printers condescend the press to soil With rhyme by h.o.a.rE, [146] and epic blank by HOYLE: [lxix] [147]
Not him whose page, if still upheld by whist, Requires no sacred theme to bid us list. [148]
Ye! who in Granta"s honours would surpa.s.s, Must mount her Pegasus, a full-grown a.s.s; 970 A foal well worthy of her ancient Dam, Whose Helicon [149] is duller than her Cam. [lxx]
There CLARKE, [150] still striving piteously "to please," [lxxi]
Forgetting doggerel leads not to degrees, A would-be satirist, a hired Buffoon, A monthly scribbler of some low Lampoon, [151]
Condemned to drudge, the meanest of the mean, And furbish falsehoods for a magazine, Devotes to scandal his congenial mind; Himself a living libel on mankind. 980
Oh! dark asylum of a Vandal race! [152]
At once the boast of learning, and disgrace!
So lost to Phoebus, that nor Hodgson"s [153] verse Can make thee better, nor poor Hewson"s [154] worse. [lxxii]
But where fair Isis rolls her purer wave, The partial Muse delighted loves to lave; On her green banks a greener wreath she wove, [lxxiii]
To crown the Bards that haunt her cla.s.sic grove; Where RICHARDS wakes a genuine poet"s fires, And modern Britons glory in their Sires. [155] [lxxiv] 990
For me, who, thus unasked, have dared to tell My country, what her sons should know too well, [lxxv]
Zeal for her honour bade me here engage [lxxvi]
The host of idiots that infest her age; No just applause her honoured name shall lose, As first in freedom, dearest to the Muse.
Oh! would thy bards but emulate thy fame, And rise more worthy, Albion, of thy name!
What Athens was in science, Rome in power, What Tyre appeared in her meridian hour, 1000 "Tis thine at once, fair Albion! to have been-- Earth"s chief Dictatress, Ocean"s lovely Queen: [lxxvii]
But Rome decayed, and Athens strewed the plain, And Tyre"s proud piers lie shattered in the main; Like these, thy strength may sink, in ruin hurled, [lxxviii]
And Britain fall, the bulwark of the world.
But let me cease, and dread Ca.s.sandra"s fate, With warning ever scoffed at, till too late; To themes less lofty still my lay confine, And urge thy Bards to gain a name like thine. [156] 1010
Then, hapless Britain! be thy rulers blest, The senate"s oracles, the people"s jest!
Still hear thy motley orators dispense The flowers of rhetoric, though not of sense, While CANNING"S colleagues hate him for his wit, And old dame PORTLAND [157] fills the place of PITT.
Yet once again, adieu! ere this the sail That wafts me hence is shivering in the gale; And Afric"s coast and Calpe"s adverse height, [158]
And Stamboul"s minarets must greet my sight: 1020 Thence shall I stray through Beauty"s native clime, [159]
Where Kaff [160] is clad in rocks, and crowned with snows sublime.
But should I back return, no tempting press [lxxix]
Shall drag my Journal from the desk"s recess; Let c.o.xcombs, printing as they come from far, s.n.a.t.c.h his own wreath of Ridicule from Carr; Let ABERDEEN and ELGIN [161] still pursue The shade of fame through regions of Virtu; Waste useless thousands on their Phidian freaks, Misshapen monuments and maimed antiques; 1030 And make their grand saloons a general mart For all the mutilated blocks of art: Of Dardan tours let Dilettanti tell, I leave topography to rapid [162] GELL; [163]
And, quite content, no more shall interpose To stun the public ear--at least with Prose. [lx.x.x]
Thus far I"ve held my undisturbed career, Prepared for rancour, steeled "gainst selfish fear; This thing of rhyme I ne"er disdained to own-- Though not obtrusive, yet not quite unknown: 1040 My voice was heard again, though not so loud, My page, though nameless, never disavowed; And now at once I tear the veil away:-- Cheer on the pack! the Quarry stands at bay, Unscared by all the din of MELBOURNE house, [164]
By LAMB"S resentment, or by HOLLAND"S spouse, By JEFFREY"S harmless pistol, HALLAM"S rage, Edina"s brawny sons and brimstone page.
Our men in buckram shall have blows enough, And feel they too are "penetrable stuff:" 1050 And though I hope not hence unscathed to go, Who conquers me shall find a stubborn foe.
The time hath been, when no harsh sound would fall From lips that now may seem imbued with gall; Nor fools nor follies tempt me to despise The meanest thing that crawled beneath my eyes: But now, so callous grown, so changed since youth, I"ve learned to think, and sternly speak the truth; Learned to deride the critic"s starch decree, And break him on the wheel he meant for me; 1060 To spurn the rod a scribbler bids me kiss, Nor care if courts and crowds applaud or hiss: Nay more, though all my rival rhymesters frown, I too can hunt a Poetaster down; And, armed in proof, the gauntlet cast at once To Scotch marauder, and to Southern dunce.
Thus much I"ve dared; if my incondite lay [lx.x.x]
Hath wronged these righteous times, let others say: This, let the world, which knows not how to spare, Yet rarely blames unjustly, now declare. [165] 1070
[Footnote 1: "The "binding" of this volume is considerably too valuable for the contents. Nothing but the consideration of its being the property of another, prevents me from consigning this miserable record of misplaced anger and indiscriminate acrimony to the flames."--B., 1816.]
[Footnote 2: IMITATION.
"Semper ego auditor tantum? nunquamne reponam, Vexatus toties, rauci Theseide Codri?"
JUVENAL, "Satire I".l. 1.]
[Footnote 3: ""Hoa.r.s.e Fitzgerald".--"Right enough; but why notice such a mountebank?"--B., 1816.
Mr. Fitzgerald, facetiously termed by Cobbett the "Small Beer Poet,"
inflicts his annual tribute of verse on the Literary Fund: not content with writing, he spouts in person, after the company have imbibed a reasonable quant.i.ty of bad port, to enable them to sustain the operation.
[William Thomas Fitzgerald (circ. 1759-1829) played the part of unofficial poet laureate. His loyal recitations were reported by the newspapers. He published, "inter alia", "Nelson"s Triumph" (1798), "Tears of Hibernia, dispelled by the Union" (1802), and "Nelson"s Tomb"
(1806). He owes his fame to the first line of "English Bards", and the famous parody in "Rejected Addresses". The following "jeux desprits"
were transcribed by R. C. Dallas on a blank leaf of a copy of the Fifth Edition:--
"Written on a copy of "English Bards" at the "Alfred" by W. T.
Fitzgerald, Esq.--
I find Lord Byron scorns my Muse, Our Fates are ill agreed; The Verse is safe, I can"t abuse Those lines, I never read.
Signed W. T. F."
Answer written on the same page by Lord Byron--
"What"s writ on me," cries Fitz, "I never read"!
What"s writ by thee, dear Fitz, none will, indeed.
The case stands simply thus, then, honest Fitz, Thou and thine enemies are fairly quits; Or rather would be, if for time to come, They luckily were "deaf", or thou wert dumb; But to their pens while scribblers add their tongues.
The Waiter only can escape their lungs. [A]]
{Sub-Footnote 0.1: Compare "Hints from Horace", l. 808, "note" 1.}
[Footnote 4: Cid Hamet Benengeli promises repose to his pen, in the last chapter of "Don Quixote". Oh! that our voluminous gentry would follow the example of Cid Hamet Benengeli!]
[Footnote 5: "This must have been written in the spirit of prophecy."
(B., 1816.)]
[Footnote 6: "He"s a very good fellow; and, except his mother and sister, the best of the set, to my mind."--B., 1816. [William (1779-1848) and George (1784-1834) Lamb, sons of Sir p.e.n.i.ston Lamb (Viscount Melbourne, 1828), by Elizabeth, only daughter of Sir Ralph Milbanke, were Lady Byron"s first cousins. William married, in 1805, Lady Caroline Ponsonby, the writer of "Glenarvon". George, who was one of the early contributors to the "Edinburgh Review", married in 1809 Caroline Rosalie Adelaide St. Jules. At the time of the separation, Lady Caroline Lamb and Mrs. George Lamb warmly espoused Lady Byron"s cause, Lady Melbourne and her daughter Lady Cowper (afterwards Lady Palmerston) were rather against than for Lady Byron. William Lamb was discreetly silent, and George Lamb declaimed against Lady Byron, calling her a d----d fool. Hence Lord Byron"s praises of George. Cf. line 517 of "English Bards".]
[Footnote 7: This ingenuous youth is mentioned more particularly, with his production, in another place. ("Vide post", l. 516.)
"Spurious Brat" [see variant ii. p. 300], that is the farce; the ingenuous youth who begat it is mentioned more particularly with his offspring in another place. ["Note. MS. M."] [The farce "Whistle for It"
was performed two or three times at Covent Garden Theatre in 1807.]
[Footnote 8: In the "Edinburgh Review".]