361), speaks of her as unmarried, and adds that she is "a lively and rather a pretty girl; they say she is very clever." Augustus Foster, writing to his mother, Lady Elizabeth Foster, July 30, 1805 ("The Two d.u.c.h.esses", p. 233), says, "I cannot fancy Lady Caroline married. I cannot be glad of it. How changed she must be--the delicate Ariel, the little Fairy Queen become a wife and soon perhaps a mother." Lady Elizabeth replies, September 30, 1805 ("ibid"., p. 242): "You may retract all your sorrow about Caro Ponsonby"s marriage, for she is the same wild, delicate, odd, delightful person, unlike everything."
Lady Caroline and William Lamb are described by Lady Elizabeth, three months later, as "flirting all day long "e felice adesso"." The phrase, perhaps, correctly expresses Lady Caroline"s conception of love as an episode; but no breach occurred till 1813. In the previous year, when Byron had suddenly risen to the height of his fame, she had refused to be introduced by Lady Westmorland to the man of whom she made the famous entry in her Diary "mad, bad, and dangerous to know." But they met, a few days later, at Holland House, and Byron called on her in Whitehall, where for the next four months he was a daily visitor. On blue-bordered paper, embossed at the corners with scallop-sh.e.l.ls, she wrote to Byron at an early stage in their acquaintance, the letter numbered 1 in Appendix III.
For the sequel to the story of their friendship, see Byron"s letter to Lady Caroline, p. 135, "note" 1, and Appendix III.]
232.--To Lady Caroline Lamb.
[Undated.]
I never supposed you artful: we are all selfish,--nature did that for us. But even when you attempt deceit occasionally, you cannot maintain it, which is all the better; want of success will curb the tendency.
Every word you utter, every line you write, proves you to be either _sincere_ or a _fool_. Now as I know you are not the one, I must believe you the other.
I never knew a woman with greater or more pleasing talents, _general_ as in a woman they should be, something of everything, and too much of nothing. But these are unfortunately coupled with a total want of common conduct. [1] For instance, the _note_ to your _page_--do you suppose I delivered it? or did you mean that I should? I did not of course.
Then your heart, my poor Caro (what a little volcano!), that pours _lava_ through your veins; and yet I cannot wish it a bit colder, to make a _marble slab_ of, as you sometimes see (to understand my foolish metaphor) brought in vases, tables, etc., from Vesuvius, when hardened after an eruption. To drop my detestable tropes and figures, you know I have always thought you the cleverest, most agreeable, absurd, amiable, perplexing, dangerous, fascinating little being that lives now, or ought to have lived 2000 years ago. I won"t talk to you of beauty; I am no judge. But our beauties cease to be so when near you, and therefore you have either some, or something better. And now, Caro, this nonsense is the first and last compliment (if it be such) I ever paid you. You have often reproached me as wanting in that respect; but others will make up the deficiency.
Come to Lord Grey"s; at least do not let me keep you away. All that you so often _say_, I _feel_. Can more be said or felt? This same prudence is tiresome enough; but one _must_ maintain it, or what _can_ one do to be saved? Keep to it.
[Footnote 1: The following letter from Lady Caroline to Fletcher, Byron"s valet, ill.u.s.trates the statement in the text:
"FLETCHER,--Will you come and see me here some evening at 9, and no one will know of it. You may say you bring a letter, and wait the answer. I will send for you in. But I will let you know first, for I wish to speak with you. I also want you to take the little Foreign Page I shall send in to see Lord Byron. Do not tell him before-hand, but, when he comes with flowers, shew him in. I shall not come myself, unless just before he goes away; so do not think it is me. Besides, you will see this is quite a child, only I wish him to see my Lord if you can contrive it, which, if you tell me what hour is most convenient, will be very easy. I go out of Town to-morrow for a day or two, and I am now quite well--at least much better."]
233.--To William Bankes.
April 20, 1812.
MY DEAR BANKES,--I feel rather hurt (not savagely) at the speech you made to me last night, and my hope is that it was only one of your _profane_ jests. I should be very sorry that any part of my behaviour should give you cause to suppose that I think higher of myself, or otherwise of you than I have always done. I can a.s.sure you that I am as much the humblest of your servants as at Trin. Coll.; and if I have not been at home when you favoured me with a call, the loss was more mine than yours. In the bustle of buzzing parties, there is, there can be, no rational conversation; but when I can enjoy it, there is n.o.body"s I can prefer to your own.
Believe me, ever faithfully and most affectionately yours,
BYRON.
234.--To Thomas Moore.
Friday noon.
I should have answered your note yesterday, but I hoped to have seen you this morning. I must consult with you about the day we dine with Sir Francis [1]. I suppose we shall meet at Lady Spencer"s [2] to-night. I did not know that you were at Miss Berry"s [3] the other night, or I should have certainly gone there.
As usual, I am in all sorts of sc.r.a.pes, though none, at present, of a martial description.
Believe me, etc.
[Footnote 1: Probably with Sir Francis Burdett, at 77, Piccadilly.]
[Footnote 2: Grandmother of Lady Caroline Lamb.]
[Footnote 3: Mary Berry (1763-1852), the friend and editor of Horace Walpole, whom she might have married, lived at Little Strawberry Hill, and in North Audley Street, London. In her Journal Miss Berry mentions two occasions on which she met Byron. The first was Thursday, April 2, 1812, at Lord Glenbervie"s.
"I had a quarter of an hour"s conversation, which, I own, gave me a great desire to know him better, and he seemed willing that I should do so."
The second occasion was May 7, 1812.
"At the end of the evening I had half an hour"s conversation with Lord Byron, princ.i.p.ally on the subject of the Scotch Review, with which he is very much pleased. He is a singular man, and pleasant to me but I very much fear that his head begins to be turned by all the adoration of the world, especially the women"
("Journal and Correspondence of Miss Berry", vol. ii. pp. 496, 497).]