Mrs. H. Oh, no, there would not--And so you were going to be virtuous and blase", were you? To come to me and say: "I"ve done with you. The incident is clo-osed." I ought to be proud of having kept such a man so long.
Capt. G. (Aside.) It only remains to pray for the end of the dinner.
(Aloud.) You know what I think of myself.
Mrs. H. As it"s the only person in he world you ever do think of, and as I know your mind thoroughly, I do. You want to get it all over and--Oh, I can"t keep you back! And you"re going--think of it, Pip--to throw me over for another woman. And you swore that all other women were--Pip, my Pip! She can"t care for you as I do. Believe me, she can"t. Is it any one that I know?
Capt. G. Thank Goodness it isn"t. (Aside.) I expected a cyclone, but not an earthquake.
Mrs. H. She can"t! Is there anything that I wouldn"t do for you--or haven"t done? And to think that I should take this trouble over you, knowing what you are! Do you despise me for it?
Capt. G. (Wiping his mouth to hide a smile.) Again? It"s entirely a work of charity on your part.
Mrs. H. Ahhh! But I have no right to resent it.--Is she better-looking than I? Who was it said?--
Capt. G. No--not that!
Mrs. H. I"ll be more merciful than you were. Don"t you know that all women are alike?
Capt. G. (Aside.) Then this is the exception that proves the rule.
Mrs. H. All of them! I"ll tell you anything you like. I will, upon my word! They only want the admiration--from anybody--no matter who--anybody! But there is always one man that they care for more than any one else in the world, and would sacrifice all the others to. Oh, do listen! I"ve kept the Vaynor man trotting after me like a poodle, and he believes that he is the only man I am interested in. I"ll tell you what he said to me.
Capt. G. Spare him. (Aside.) I wonder what his version is.
Mrs. H. He"s been waiting for me to look at him all through dinner.
Shall I do it, and you can see what an idiot he looks?
Capt. G. "But what imports the nomination of this gentleman?"
Mrs. H. Watch! (Sends a glance to the Vaynor man, who tries vainly to combine a mouthful of ice pudding, a smirk of self-satisfaction, a glare of intense devotion, and the stolidity of a British dining countenance.)
Capt. G. (Critically.) He doesn"t look pretty. Why didn"t you wait till the spoon was out of his mouth?
Mrs. H. To amuse you. She"ll make an exhibition of you as I"ve made of him; and people will laugh at you. Oh, Pip, can"t you see that? It"s as plain as the noonday Sun. You"ll be trotted about and told lies, and made a fool of like the others. I never made a fool of you, did I?
Capt. G. (Aside.) What a clever little woman it is!
Mrs. H. Well, what have you to say?
Capt. G. I feel better.
Mrs. H. Yes, I suppose so, after I have come down to your level. I couldn"t have done it if I hadn"t cared for you so much. I have spoken the truth.
Capt. G. It doesn"t alter the situation.
Mrs. H. (Pa.s.sionately.) Then she has said that she cares for you! Don"t believe her, Pip. It"s a lie--as bad as yours to me!
Capt. G. Ssssteady! I"ve a notion that a friend of yours is looking at you.
Mrs. H. He! I hate him. He introduced you to me.
Capt. G. (Aside.) And some people would like women to a.s.sist in making the laws. Introduction to imply condonement. (Aloud.) Well, you see, if you can remember so far back as that, I couldn"t, in common politeness, refuse the offer.
Mrs. H. In common politeness I--We have got beyond that!
Capt. G. (Aside.) Old ground means fresh trouble. (Aloud.) On my honor--
Mrs. H. Your what? Ha, ha!
Capt. G. Dishonor, then. She"s not what you imagine. I meant to--
Mrs. H. Don"t tell me anything about her! She won"t care for you, and when you come back, after having made an exhibition of yourself, you"ll find me occupied with--
Capt. G. (Insolently.) You couldn"t while I am alive. (Aside.) If that doesn"t bring her pride to her rescue, nothing will.
Mrs. H. (Drawing herself up.) Couldn"t do it? I--(Softening.) You"re right. I don"t believe I could--though you are what you are--a coward and a liar in grain.
Capt. G. It doesn"t hurt so much after your little lecture--with demonstrations.
Mrs. H. One ma.s.s of vanity! Will nothing ever touch you in this life?
There must be a Hereafter if it"s only for the benefit of--But you will have it all to yourself.
Capt. G. (Under his eyebrows.) Are you certain of that?
Mrs. H. I shall have had mine in this life; and it will serve me right,
Capt. G. But the admiration that you insisted on so strongly a moment ago? (Aside.) Oh, I am a brute!
Mrs. H. (Fiercely.) Will that console me for knowing that you will go to her with the same words, the same arguments, and the--the same pet names you used to me? And if she cares for you, you two will laugh over my story. Won"t that be punishment heavy enough even for me--even for me?--And it"s all useless. That"s another punishment.
Capt. G. (Feebly.) Oh, come! I"m not so low as you think.
Mrs. H. Not now, perhaps, but you will be. Oh, Pip, if a woman flatters your vanity, there"s nothing on earth that you would not tell her; and no meanness that you would not do. Have I known you so long without knowing that?
Capt. G. If you can trust me in nothing else--and I don"t see why I should be trusted--you can count upon my holding my tongue.
Mrs. H. If you denied everything you"ve said this evening and declared it was all in fun (a long pause), I"d trust you. Not otherwise. All I ask is, don"t tell her my name. Please don"t. A man might forget: a woman never would. (Looks up table and sees hostess beginning to collect eyes.) So it"s all ended, through no fault of mine--Haven"t I behaved beautifully? I"ve accepted your dismissal, and you managed it as cruelly as you could, and I have made you respect my s.e.x, haven"t I? (Arranging gloves and fan.) I only pray that she"ll know you some day as I know you now. I wouldn"t be you then, for I think even your conceit will be hurt. I hope she"ll pay you back the humiliation you"ve brought on me.
I hope--No. I don"t! I can"t give you up! I must have something to look forward to or I shall go crazy. When it"s all over, come back to me, come back to me, and you"ll find that you"re my Pip still!
Capt. G. (Very clearly.) False move, and you pay for it. It"s a girl!
Mrs. H. (Rising.) Then it was true! They said--but I wouldn"t insult you by asking. A girl! I was a girl not very long ago. Be good to her, Pip.
I daresay she believes in you.
Goes out with an uncertain smile. He watches her through the door, and settles into a chair as the men redistribute themselves.
Capt. G. Now, if there is any Power who looks after this world, will He kindly tell me what I have done? (Reaching out for the claret, and half aloud.) What have I done?