I knew I would be breaking some kind of a regulation- In a way, she could not be blamed for her ignorance of the law; she was of Earth and had not realized that the laws of the s.p.a.ce frontier must, of necessity, be as hard and relentless as the environment that gave them birth. Yet, to protect such as her from the results of their own ignorance of the frontier, there had been a sign over the door that led to the section of theStardust that housed the EDS; a sign that was plain for all to see and heed:
UNAUTHORIZED PERSONNEL.
KEEP OUT!.
"Does your brother know that you took pa.s.sage on theStardust for Mimir?"
"Oh, yes. I sent him a s.p.a.cegram telling him about my graduation and about going to Mimir on the Stardust a month before I left Earth. I already knew Mimir was where he would be stationed in a little over a year. He gets a promotion then, and he"ll be based on Mimir and not have to stay out a year at a time on field trips, like he does now." There were two different survey groups on Woden, and he asked, "What is his name?"
"Cross-Gerry Cross. He"s in Group Two-that was the way his address read. Do you know him?"
Group One had requested the serum; Group Two was eight thousand miles away, across the Western Sea.
"No, I"ve never met him," he said, then turned to the control board and cut the deceleration to a fraction of a gravity; knowing as he did so that it could not avert the ultimate end, yet doing the only thing he could do to prolong that ultimate end. The sensation was like that of the ship suddenly dropping and the girl"s involuntary movement of surprise half lifted her from the seat.
"We"re going faster now, aren"t we?" she asked. "Why are we doing that?"
He told her the truth. "To save fuel for a little while."
"You mean, we don"t have very much?"
He delayed the answer he must give her so soon to ask: "How did you manage to stow away?"
"I just sort of walked in when no one was looking my way," she said. "I was practicing my Gelanese on the native girl who does the cleaning in the Ship"s Supply office when someone came in with an order for supplies for the survey crew on Woden. I slipped into the closet there after the ship was ready to go and just before you came in. It was an impulse of the moment to stow away, so I could get to see Gerry-and from the way you keep looking at me so grim, I"m not sure it was a very wise impulse.
"But I"ll be a model criminal-or do I mean prisoner?" She smiled at him again. "I intended to pay for my keep on top of paying the fine. I can cook and I can patch clothes for everyone and I know how to do all kinds of useful things, even a little bit about nursing."
There was one more question to ask: "Did you know what the supplies were that the survey crew ordered?"
"Why, no. Equipment they needed in their work, I supposed."
Why couldn"t she have been a man with some ulterior motive? A fugitive from justice, hoping to lose himself on a raw new world; an opportunist, seeking transportation to the new colonies where he might find golden fleece for the taking; a crackpot, with a mission- Perhaps once in his lifetime an EDS pilot would find such a stowaway on his ship; warped men, mean and selfish men, brutal and dangerous men-but never, before, a smiling, blue-eyed girl who was willing to pay her fine and work for her keep that she might see her brother.
He turned to the board and turned the switch that would signal theStardust . The call would be futile but he could not, until he had exhausted that one vain hope, seize her and thrust her into the air lock as he would an animal-or a man. The delay, in the meantime, would not be dangerous with the EDS decelerating at fractional gravity. A voice spoke from the communicator."Stardust . Identify yourself and proceed."
"Barton, EDS 34G11. Emergency. Give me Commander Delhart."
There was a faint confusion of noises as the request went through the proper channels. The girl was watching him, no longer smiling.
"Are you going to order them to come back after me?" she asked.
The communicator clicked and there was the sound of a distant voice saying, "Commander, the EDS requests-"
"Are they coming back after me?" she asked again. "Won"t I get to see my brother, after all?"
"Barton?" The blunt, gruff voice of Commander Delhart came from the communicator. "What"s this about an emergency?"
"A stowaway," he answered.
"A stowaway?" There was a slight surprise to the question. "That"s rather unusual-but why the "emergency" call? You discovered him in time so there should be no appreciable danger and I presume you"ve informed Ship"s Records so his nearest relatives can be notified."
"That"s why I had to call you, first. The stowaway is still aboard and the circ.u.mstances are so different-"
"Different?" the commander interrupted, impatience in his voice. "How can they be different? You know you have a limited supply of fuel; you also know the law, as well as I do: "Any stowaway discovered in an EDS shall be jettisoned immediately following discovery.""
There was the sound of a sharply indrawn breath from the girl."What does he mean?"
"The stowaway is a girl."
"What?"
"She wanted to see her brother. She"s only a kid and she didn"t know what she was really doing."
"I see." All the curtness was gone from the commander"s voice. "So you called me in the hope I could do something?" Without waiting for an answer he went on. "I"m sorry-I can do nothing. This cruiser must maintain its schedule; the life of not one person but the lives of many depend on it. I know how you feel but I"m powerless to help you. I"ll have you connected with Ship"s Records."
The communicator faded to a faint rustle of sound and he turned back to the girl. She was leaning forward on the bench, almost rigid, her eyes fixed wide and frightened.
"What did he mean, to go through with it? To jettison me. . . . to go through with it-what did he mean?
Not the way it sounded. . . . he couldn"t have. What did he mean. . . . what did he really mean?" Her time was too short for the comfort of a lie to be more than a cruelly fleeting delusion.
"He meant it the way it sounded."
"No!"She recoiled from him as though he had struck her, one hand half upraised as though to fend him off and stark unwillingness to believe in her eyes.
"It will have to be."
"No! You"re joking-you"re insane! You can"t mean it!"
"I"m sorry." He spoke slowly to her, gently. "I should have told you before-I should have, but I had to do what I could first; I had to call theStardust . You heard what the commander said."
"But you can"t-if you make me leave the ship, I"lldie ."
"I know."
She searched his face and the unwillingness to believe left her eyes, giving way slowly to a look of dazed terror.
"You-know?" She spoke the words far apart, numb and wonderingly.
"I know. It has to be like that."
"You mean it-you really mean it." She sagged back against the wall, small and limp like a little rag doll and all the protesting and disbelief gone. "You"re going to do it-you"re going to make me die?"
"I"m sorry," he said again. "You"ll never know how sorry I am. It has to be that way and no human in the universe can change it."
"You"re going to make me die and I didn"t do anything to die for-I didn"tdo anything-"
He sighed, deep and weary. "I know you didn"t, child. I know you didn"t-"
"EDS." The communicator rapped brisk and metallic. "This is Ship"s Records. Give us all information on subject"s identification disk."
He got out of his chair to stand over her. She clutched the edge of the seat, her upturned face white under the brown hair and the lipstick standing out like a blood-red cupid"s bow.
"Now?"
"I want your identification disk," he said.
She released the edge of the seat and fumbled at the chain that suspended the plastic disk from her neck with fingers that were trembling and awkward. He reached down and unfastened the clasp for her, then returned with the disk to his chair.
"Here"s your data, Records: Identification Number T837-" "One moment," Records interrupted. "This is to be filed on the gray card, of course?"
"Yes."
"And the time of the execution?"
"I"ll tell you later."
"Later? This is highly irregular; the time of the subject"s death is required before-"
He kept the thickness out of his voice with an effort. "Then we"ll do it in a highly irregular manner-you"ll hear the disk read, first. The subject is a girl and she"s listening to everything that"s said. Are you capable of understanding that?"
There was a brief, almost shocked, silence, then Records said meekly: "Sorry. Go ahead."
He began to read the disk, reading it slowly to delay the inevitable for as long as possible, trying to help her by giving her what little time he could to recover from her first terror and let it resolve into the calm of acceptance and resignation.
"Number T8374 dash Y54. Name: Marilyn Lee Cross. s.e.x: Female. Born: July 7, 2160.She was only eighteen. Height: 5-3. Weight: 110.Such a slight weight, yet enough to add fatally to the ma.s.s of the sh.e.l.l-thin bubble that was an EDS. Hair: Brown. Eyes: Blue. Complexion: Light. Blood Type: O.
Irrelevant data. Destination: Port City, Mimir.Invalid data- "
He finished and said, "I"ll call you later," then turned once again to the girl. She was huddled back against the wall, watching him with a look of numb and wondering fascination.
"They"re waiting for you to kill me, aren"t they? They want me dead, don"t they? You and everybody on the cruiser wants me dead, don"t you?" Then the numbness broke and her voice was that of a frightened and bewildered child. "Everybody wants me dead and I didn"tdo anything. I didn"t hurt anyone-I only wanted to see my brother."
"It"s not the way you think-it isn"t that way, at all," he said. "n.o.body wants it this way; n.o.body would ever let it be this way if it was humanly possible to change it."
"Then why is it! I don"t understand. Why is it?"
"This ship is carryingkala fever serum to Group One on Woden. Their own supply was destroyed by a tornado. Group Two-the crew your brother is in-is eight thousand miles away across the Western Sea and their helicopters can"t cross it to help Group One. The fever is invariably fatal unless the serum can be had in time, and the six men in Group One will die unless this ship reaches them on schedule.
These little ships are always given barely enough fuel to reach their destination and if you stay aboard your added weight will cause it to use up all its fuel before it reaches the ground. It will crash, then, and you and I will die and so will the six men waiting for the fever serum."
It was a full minute before she spoke, and as she considered his words the expression of numbness left her eyes. "Is that it?" she asked at last. "Just that the ship doesn"t have enough fuel?"
"Yes."
"I can go alone or I can take seven others with me-is that the way it is?"
"That"s the way it is."
"And n.o.body wants me to have to die?"
"n.o.body."
"Then maybe-Are you sure nothing can be done about it? Wouldn"t people help me if they could?"
"Everyone would like to help you but there is nothing anyone can do. I did the only thing I could do when I called theStardust ."
"And it won"t come back-but there might be other cruisers, mightn"t there? Isn"t there any hope at all that there might be someone, somewhere, who could do something to help me?"
She was leaning forward a little in her eagerness as she waited for his answer.
"No."
The word was like the drop of a cold stone and she again leaned back against the wall, the hope and eagerness leaving her face. "You"re sure-youknow you"re sure?"
"I"m sure. There are no other cruisers within forty light-years; there is nothing and no one to change things."
She dropped her gaze to her lap and began twisting a pleat of her skirt between her fingers, saying no more as her mind began to adapt itself to the grim knowledge.
It was better so; with the going of all hope would go the fear; with the going of all hope would come resignation. She needed time and she could have so little of it. How much?
The EDS"s were not equipped with hull-cooling units; their speed had to be reduced to a moderate level before entering the atmosphere. They were decelerating at .10 gravity; approaching their destination at a far higher speed than the computers had calculated on. TheStardust had been quite near Woden when she launched the EDS; their present velocity was putting them nearer by the second. There would be a critical point, soon to be reached, when he would have to resume deceleration. When he did so the girl"s weight would be multiplied by the gravities of deceleration, would become, suddenly, a factor of paramount importance; the factor the computers had been ignorant of when they determined the amount of fuel the EDS should have. She would have to go when deceleration began; it could be no other way.
When would that be-how long could he let her stay?
"How long can I stay?"
He winced involuntarily from the words that were so like an echo of his own thoughts. How long? Hedidn"t know; he would have to ask the ship"s computers. Each EDS was given a meager surplus of fuel to compensate for unfavorable conditions within the atmosphere and relatively little fuel was being consumed for the time being. The memory banks of the computers would still contain all data pertaining to the course set for the EDS; such data would not be erased until the EDS reached its destination. He had only to give the computers the new data; the girl"s weight and the exact time at which he had reduced the deceleration to .10.
"Barton." Commander Delhart"s voice came abruptly from the communicator, as he opened his mouth to call theStardust . "A check with Records shows me you haven"t completed your report. Did you reduce the deceleration?"
So the commander knew what he was trying to do.
"I"m decelerating at point ten," he answered. "I cut the deceleration at seventeen fifty and the weight is a hundred and ten. I would like to stay at point ten as long as the computers say I can. Will you give them the question?"
It was contrary to regulations for an EDS pilot to make any changes in the course or degree of deceleration the computers had set for him but the commander made no mention of the violation, neither did he ask the reason for it. It was not necessary for him to ask; he had not become commander of an interstellar cruiser without both intelligence and an understanding of human nature. He said only: "I"ll have that given the computers."