Finn curses and gives the bike a little more speed. I stifle a scream as we lurch forward. A grate-low and dark-is open, and he angles for it. Collin flashes his lights twice, and Finn waves back. Then we"re swallowed up by darkness.
Chapter 8.
The Wide Open We burst out of the tunnel into light so brilliant, I"m not sure how Finn can see. He"s still cursing, a soft, steady stream of noise that rings in my ears. Behind us, Collin keeps pace in the Porsche.
And that"s when it hits me and I pull away from Finn a little, shock slamming into me. His hand clamps down on my wrist, jerking me back against him. I know what he"d say, if I could hear him. Keep your s.h.i.t together, Ren.
But how? We"re in the freakin" Wide Open, the ma.s.sive stretches of unsettled land that belong to the infection, the stretches between Havens that are teaming with zombies. The only thing that kept us safe was the walls around our cities, and we"re not behind them anymore-and even if we were, the zombies are there as well. A scream bubbles in my throat, aching for an escape.
Strangely, it"s Finn who steadies me.
I"ve hated Finn since I met him, three years ago. It was a week after Collin was sponsored to the wall, and I came home from school to find my brother and Finn sitting on the couch, bags of melting ice on their faces. I knew who he was-h.e.l.lsp.a.w.n wasn"t so big that I could miss Finn O"Malley. But I"d never spoken to him.
Finn was different. He came to Haven instead of being born here, and he was an orphan-but then, many of us were. But where Dustin and Becca and others bonded with me and Collin, forming loose families within the Hive, Finn wanted none of it. He seemed to enjoy the distance and solitude.
I"d never heard of the wealthy orphan having friends. Until that day he punched my brother and got both of them sentenced to extra walks for a month-and docked rations.
After that day, he never left. Not really. And I hated him, for sharing something with Collin that I couldn"t, and for hitting my brother, and for thinking he was too good for the rest of Haven. The girls in the Hive fluttered like idiots when he dropped by, something Finn was very aware of.
I couldn"t stand him, and the dislike was reciprocated. That I had saved his life-well, that had everything to do with him saving all of ours.
"Nurrin, infects are coming," he shouts, over the roar of the wind I glance back and see them-three older infects. The females are oozing blood, hideously disfigured in their semi-naked state. One"s arm is twisted back at an unnatural angle that hurts just to look at. The male lopes along behind them, his jaw unhinged and hanging open.
"Take my gun," Finn orders, and I obey, pulling it from between us. He slows down, and I fight the terror that grips me as I realize he"s letting them gain on us. I push that thought aside-he thinks I can do this. And Finn isn"t so self-sacrificing he"d risk his life twice.
The thought clears my head, and I squeeze the trigger. The first infect drops, blood spraying up in the face of her pack mates. Three more squeezes and the others are dead.
Truly dead, not the half-there sate they"d been suspended in. Killing isn"t fun-but there"s something soothing about giving them that final shot, the final bit of rest.
And if I didn"t, they"d just tail us back to-where the h.e.l.l are we going?
I tuck the gun into Finn"s holster and lean closer to ask, but he revs the engine, and we race across the Wide Open in a roar of wind that steals all conversation.
Chapter 9.
Suicide Wish Darkness has begun to fall when I feel the bike slow. The Porsche prowls behind me. We haven"t stopped today, except for once, refueling the vehicles from a cache of gasoline Finn had hidden in a graveyard.
The bike cuts off, and I shiver in the soundless twilight. We"re near the edge of a cliff-the Grand Canyon. I almost fall off the bike, and Finn catches me, righting me with barely restrained violence. I pull away from him as Collin explodes from the car. It"s the first time I"ve seen him-he didn"t get out of the car when we stopped for fuel. Finn"s orders, and it was incredibly chafing that my brother listened to him.
"Ren, are you okay?" he demands, sweeping me into a hug. It"s a stupid question. If I had been bitten back in Haven, risking my a.s.s for Finn, I"d have changed hours ago. But his concern is touching, mostly because it means he"s not p.i.s.sed. Not p.i.s.sed is good.
"I"m fine, Collin," I say, pulling away. He lets me go and frowns at me, then over at Finn.
"You"re a f.u.c.king idiot, is what you are," Finn snarls, and I flinch away from the venom in his voice and the words themselves.
Then anger fills me, and I shove him. "I saved your a.s.s, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"
"You exposed yourself in a breach. You were unarmed, with no means of escape and on even ground. I know Collin"s taught you better, so tell me, Nurrin, do you have a death wish?"
"I was armed, and I saved you!" I scream.
"You took an unneeded risk!"
I open my mouth to tell him to go f.u.c.k himself, and behind us, Dustin shouts, "Will someone get me out of here? I have to pee and I"d like to be part of this yell-at-Ren moment."
Finn"s eyes flick past me, and disgust fills his expression for a heartbeat. His gaze skates to Collin. "He"s her baggage. I"m not taking care of it."
Collin"s lips compress a little, but that"s the only sign of his irritation. Finn turns away from me, and I grab his arm, still spoiling for a fight. He gives me a bored look. "I"d like to get to the Hole before the infects show up, Nurrin. Do you mind?"
"Take care of Dustin," Collin asks. "It"ll be a few minutes before we"re ready."
Fuming, I turn to help my friend out of his seat. Blood loss has turned his skin clammy and pale, and I freeze for a moment, not wanting to touch him. Years of being told bleeding is a sign of infection makes approaching him now difficult-bordering on impossible.
He summons a weak smile. "Help me up, Ren. I really do have to p.i.s.s."
I roll my eyes and reach for him, avoiding the blood on his sleeve. "You should have headed to the Hatch, idiot."
"And then what? When we thought it was safe and came out-what then?"
I go still, staring at him with wide eyes. His gaze is bitter and filled with grief, and it hits me suddenly-I fall to my knees with a low cry. Finn catches me, jerking me away from Dustin, crushing me to his chest. I feel his tension, and I know he"s drawn a gun on my best friend, and I can"t hold back the wail of grief building in my throat.
"Did he hurt you?" Finn demands, his voice harsh. I shake my head against his chest, and some of the tension eases out of him as he pulls me away to look into my eyes. His gaze softens, just a little. "The Haven?"
I nod, hating that he"s seeing me this weak. Finn"s eyes shutter, and he releases me. "Go. Fall apart when we"re safe."
Dustin catches me as I stumble away, and we lean against each other as we follow Collin and Finn toward the edge of the cliff. For a moment, staring off the cliff, I wonder where the h.e.l.l we"re going. Finn looks at Collin. "Take point. Dustin behind you, then Nurrin. I"ll bring up the rear."
Collin glances at me then nods, scooping a bag off the pebbly, hard ground. Then he steps forward. The path-if it can be called that, and really, it shouldn"t-is so narrow, I"m not sure how he finds footing on it.
I have no idea how Dustin will. He hesitates for a moment, and from behind me comes Finn"s voice, sharp in my ear. "You go down, or stay here, but get the f.u.c.k out of the way, dude."
I turn to glare at him, but he"s staring at Dustin, his expression bleak. Dustin grinds his teeth audibly behind me and follows my brother down the cliff side.
"Take this," Finn says, handing me the bag. It takes me a moment to adjust to the weight of it, and I can feel Finn"s gaze on me, avid and a.s.sessing. I straighten and turn away, stepping onto the path.
And ignore the half smirk that turns Finn"s lips.
Chapter 10.
The Hole "What is this place?" I ask, my awe apparent in my voice. Finn steps past me, his body brushing against my arm. I step away, quickly, moving to Dustin.
"I call it the Hole. My parents set it up a few years after the fall. It was always a safe place for us to fall back."
It"s the most revealing thing Finn has ever said, and I look at Collin-he doesn"t seem surprised. He doesn"t seem even startled by the electricity pumping through the cave; the comfortable, if dusty looking furniture; and the little kitchen in the back, open cabinets stocked with MREs and canned goods.
He"s been here before. Finn has shared this with him, and Collin never mentioned it. Anger flares in me, and I turn to Dustin, kneeling in front of him on the couch and yanking at his boot. He screams, the noise filling the Hole, echoing around us. Finn whips around, his eyes wide and furious as he slams the b.u.t.t of his pistol against Dustin"s temple.
I gape at him, and all the anger in me bubbles up. His gaze swings to me, unrepentant. "Take care of him, while he can"t bring every infect in miles to us."
He throws me a first aid kit, and I catch it, even in my daze. Collin crouches next to me and helps me wrestle Dustin"s boot off his swollen foot. I prod it, but the truth is I don"t know what the h.e.l.l I"m doing.
"Just wrap it tight," Collin says, and I latch on to his instructions. As I wind the bandage around Dustin"s foot, Collin shoves a pillow under his head-I guess neither of the boys wants to move him. Can"t blame them much. Dustin is solid.
"What the f.u.c.k are we doing?" I demand in a harsh whisper. He gives me a curious look, and I glance over at Finn. "He"s not stable, Collin. He"s violent."
"He saved our lives," Collin answers.
"Why didn"t you tell me about this?"
"You didn"t need to know, and Finn asked me not to." Collin"s voice is reasonable and calm, and I want to scream and shake him. I"m anything but reasonable and calm.
"Ren, I know how you feel about Finn. I get it-you hate him. But can you just put that aside for a few days? We"re not in normal circ.u.mstances, and you sniping at him every few minutes isn"t going to help any of us." Collin says.
I stare at him, seeing the exhaustion and fear in his eyes I hadn"t noticed before. I reach for him, squeeze his hand. "Go sleep," I tell him, and he shakes his head.
"She"s right. You haven"t had more than thirty minutes in almost two days. Go. I"ll take first watch," Finn says from behind me, and I force myself not to react, schooling my expression to impa.s.sivity. Collin looks between us, uncertain, and then he nods.
The silence that fills the Hole after Collin collapses is almost deafening. Finn moves around, comfortable in his own s.p.a.ce, unpacking bags and setting out weapons. I feel, suddenly, the itchy sensation of dried sweat, and I"m anxious to get out of my restrictive clothing.
"Is there somewhere I can change?" I ask, and Finn pauses, looking at me, one eyebrow arched in question. Something flickers in his gaze, shut down too quickly for me to follow.
"The back-past the kitchen is a tunnel. Change there. Should be some water to rinse, if you want."
I start to say thanks, but he"s already turned away. a.s.shat.
I strip quickly, in almost complete darkness, and shiver-it"s cool back here, surprisingly so. I dip my hands into the chilly water and scrub the dust of the day from my skin. It"s not enough to get rid of the dirty feeling, but it helps a little. I shiver and dress quickly in a long pair of sweats and a loose shirt, leaving my bra and zom gear in a pile on the stone. Then I pad back out into the main area of the cave and scoop up my knives and guns. The latter go on the table with Finn and Collin"s for cleaning, and then I go to stand near Finn. He"s at the entrance of the cave, staring into the night.
"Thanks," I say, abruptly, and his gaze darts to me. "For getting Collin out."
He gives me a thin-lipped smile. "Not for yourself?"
I look away, into the night, and ask the question that"s been at the back of my mind all day. "What were you doing in the orchards?"
Finn is so quiet and still, I look over and check on him-seeing him startles me.
"Collin and I have always had a plan, in case of a major breach. Getting you was part of the plan."
I nod and look back into the darkness. "What happens next?"
"You go to bed."
His voice is different, subtly shut off, and I push myself to my feet. I don"t particularly want to be sitting here having a conversation with Finn O"Malley anyway.
As I turn away, his voice stops me. "What you did back there-Nurrin, that was stupid."
"You could say thank you."
He moves, catching my bare ankle in a vice-like grip. "I won"t thank you for putting yourself in danger." Finn"s voice is low, a soft accent rounding his words. His thumb moves over my ankle, and my pulse jumps-I wonder if he"s even aware of the caress and what game he"s playing if he is.
"Why do you call me that?" I demand, instead. His finger stills, and he releases me, rising in one smooth, almost inhuman move. He crowds me, and I step back until I b.u.mp into the side of the cave wall. His presence is choking the air in my lungs, consuming everything around me, and I want to shove him away, but the look in his dark eyes stops me-there"s something there I"ve never seen before. Something I don"t want to think about. I tilt my chin up, glaring, and Finn smiles, a faint twitch of his lips.
And steps away from me. "Ren is the name of a little girl avoiding who she is. What she was born to. Nurrin-that"s the name of a woman who risks her life because she"s got more courage than sense and was born to epic times and deeds."
I gape at him as he turns away, and I know he"s aware of me staring, questions burning on the tip of my tongue. But he doesn"t turn back to me, and his voice is remote and disdainful as he says, "Get some sleep, Nurrin. Tomorrow is going to be a long day."
I retreat to the couch, cuddling into Dustin and pulling a blanket up over us. He curls around me, an arm snaking over my waist, and I smile, kissing his hair.
When I look up, I"m stunned to find Finn staring at us, his eyes furious and hot. Before I can say anything-before I can draw breath-he turns away, watching for dangers in the night.
Chapter 11.
Conversations and Threats I"m awakened by voices and heat. Dustin has kicked the blanket off sometime in the night, but the heat rolling off him is more than enough to make me sweat. I ease away from him enough to give me breathing room.
"We can wait it out, Collin. It"s safer here than anywhere, you know that."
There"s a long moment of silence, and then, "Do you really think Ren"ll go for that?" Collin"s voice is quiet, and Finn doesn"t answer. I peek up over the couch and see them-Finn sitting at the small table, his back to me as they clean the guns. Light is streaming into the cave, and I can smell coffee.