"Call ahead to the gate. I"m tired and want to get to my d.a.m.n house."
I look at him sharply, but he"s back in the ignore Ren mode. I peer at whatever he gave the general, but it"s tucked away too quickly for me to see anything other than a flash of red. The guards clear the road, and we drive on toward the haven.
"Why did they let us pa.s.s?"
Finn glances at me. "When we get to the Haven, we"re going straight to my house. I have a contact here. He"ll come look at your arm. How are you feeling?"
"I thought you said there were no side effects."
He shrugs. "I"ve been known to lie before, Nurrin."
I swallow the curse, knowing it"ll only amuse him. Instead I shake my head and settle back against the seat. "I feel fine, sir."
He grins and looks over at me. "That sounds particularly nice, coming from you."
This time I do curse, and his laughter is still ringing in my ears when we pull up to the gates. They glide open, and we drive through, the reek of zom repellent mixing with the scent of humanity, mountain air, and fruit ready to be harvested.
A medic is standing with the walkers, her little hands clasped over her kit. "I need to test both of you," she says, with a quick apologetic look at me. I shrug. It"s standard procedure, and if the inhibitors worked, it shouldn"t be an issue.
If they didn"t, I"d rather be put down here.
Finn tenses, but doesn"t object. Whatever got us this far won"t get us out of a blood test.
She swabs his arm first, drawing a quick sample and injecting a specialized dye. The blood doesn"t shift color, and I feel myself relax-he"s clean.
Immediately, I hate that I care.
She runs the same test on me, and I look away as the dye sinks in, waiting for it to latch into the virus swimming in my blood. Finn is staring at the vial, his expression tight. I can"t read the expression in his eyes, but it makes my nerves sing. Then he relaxes, and I look at the vial the medic is holding.
Dark red.
Finn clenches my hand before I can say anything, and he talks to the Walkers briefly before we"re waved through.
He drives without hesitation, and I wonder when he was here last.
The house is on a quiet street, clean and una.s.suming and well maintained.
"Come on," he orders, killing the engine and grabbing our bags. I shelve my questions and scramble out of the car to follow him inside.
It"s strange, to be exposed on the street and not be concerned about infects. Being in the Wide Open left a mark, faster than I thought it would.
The house is dark and barren. A few pieces of furniture in the great room and a single picture on the wall of the hallway.
It"s the s.p.a.ce that really startles me.
Havens have a limit of s.p.a.ce. Most residents are crammed into vast apartment complexes, tiny lofts shared by whole families. But this-this is a two bedroom house with a surplus of s.p.a.ce, and he doesn"t even live here.
It might be time, I realize, to rea.s.sess what I know about the mysterious man who befriended my brother.
"Lee will be here soon." Finn says, tossing our bags onto the couch. "You can take a shower, if you want."
I stare at him, and for a long moment, he stares back. Questions are racing through my head, and he"s watching me. Daring me to ask them. I take a deep breath. "Sounds great."
Amus.e.m.e.nt tilts his lips, a little, before he turns to lead me into the bathroom. As I pa.s.s him, he inhales, his emotions flashing across his face before he shuts them down and leaves me.
When I emerge from my shower, my hair smells clean for the first time in days. My clothes are a bit dusty, but I don"t mind too much, and I pad barefoot down the hall, finger combing my hair.
Finn is standing in the kitchen with a young man.
He"s heavier than Finn, thick in a way that screams weight lifter. His hair is girlishly long, a burnished red, and pale blue eyes skim over me in interest.
"You brought a girl to your home?" he asks, surprise evident in his tone.
"No questions," Finn intervenes, his gaze darting to me and daring me to say something. I shrug and sit down. "You"re the doctor, I presume."
Lee nods-it"s a safe question. "He said your arm and shoulder had exposure."
I extend my arm, and Lee comes around to examine it. His head bends over me, his long hair tickling my skin, and I idly wonder if it"s as soft as it looks.
I glance up when Finn moves. He"s still standing in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest.
His eyes are stormy as he watches us, and I must make a noise, something that draws his gaze from Lee"s hands on my st.i.tches to meet my own.
For a moment, his gaze is hot, furious, so full of emotions it makes my mouth go dry. I lick my lips, and his gaze drops to my mouth. Hunger flares in his eyes, unmistakable.
"What caused this?"
The question jars me; I flush and look away as Finn"s face goes blank.
"We had an incident-she was clawed by an infect."
"How recently?"
"Thirty two hours."
Lee frowns. "It"s remarkably clear. Most cases, I"d recommend Q."
"I don"t have time for that," I blurt before I can stop myself. Lee raises his eyebrows.
"You aren"t testing for infection, and the wound is clean. Keep long sleeves on to avoid questions, but you"ll do."
Finn straightens, coming to stand by the couch, and I feel like I"ve taken my first deep breath in days.
They talk for a few minutes, but I"m lost in my thoughts and relief.
The door closes, and Finn reenters the room. He glides past me. I wonder if I should say something.
"It was the neural inhibitors."
My words stop him, and he stands in the hallway, his back to me.
"If you had them, why didn"t you give them to Dustin?"
He laughs. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d actually laughs at me. "Nurrin, neural inhibitors are regulated. Getting them is ridiculously expensive."
I glance around the house. "You have unoccupied houses and can call a doctor to them in the middle of the night with no advance warning. Clearly, money is not an issue."
His eyes sparkle. "Some things stretch even my budget."
"This could have saved him," I say, ignoring his amus.e.m.e.nt. I feel cold, shocked. Does Dustin"s life mean nothing?
Finn answers the question I hadn"t realized I voiced. "I told you in the Hive. He"s your baggage, Nurrin. I allowed him to come to get you to shut up, and because Collin wouldn"t leave without you. I don"t care if he survives."
"Then why bother giving them to me?" I snap and jerk to my feet He catches my arm as I stride by him, pulling me around until I"m facing him. I glare at a spot on his chest, refusing to look into his gaze.
One of his hands fists in my hair, tilting my head back until I"m staring at him. I should be spitting mad-but there it is. The same hunger I saw in him when Lee was working on my arm, smoldering in his eyes now. I lick my lips as heat pools between my legs and his gaze heats.
"Do you really want me to apologize for that?" he murmurs, and I feel the brush of his breath against my lips. "Do you expect me to apologize for keeping you alive? Because if you do, you"re a d.a.m.n fool. And I always thought you were smart, Ren."
I shake my head, as much as his grip will allow. "You never thought about me at all."
Something fills his gaze, something more dangerous than l.u.s.t, and I hold my breath. Then he releases his grip on my hair. Blood rushes through my scalp, tiny pinp.r.i.c.ks of pain as he steps away from me. "Go to bed, Nurrin."
I want to call him on it-the name he uses to distance himself from me, all the secrets, the desire he"s barely keeping leashed. I open my mouth, but he cuts me off, "I swear to G.o.d, Ren. You don"t want to do this. Go."
My mouth closes with a click, and I spin, marching into a bedroom-his-and shutting the door behind me. I pause, hear his footsteps on the other side of the wood, and reach down to lock it.
Chapter 22.
Day One The door creaks open, and I lift the cross bow as Finn enters. Two steps and tw.a.n.g.
He freezes as the quarrel hits right in front of him, buried in the wall.
Finn stares at the quivering fletching for a moment then looks at me. "Something wrong, Nurrin?"
"Where the f.u.c.k have you been?" I snarl, finally letting the crossbow drop.
When I emerged from the bedroom this morning, I"d been startled to find the house empty. He left a note, ordering me to stay put. And I"d been happy enough to do so-I searched the house for any information about Finn, but aside from the single framed picture, there was nothing personal about the house.
And the picture told me nothing-just two men walking under some trees, each holding a child"s hand.
When my search yielded nothing, I tried to leave. And found all the doors locked. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d had actually locked me in the d.a.m.n house.
He looks around now, taking in the trashed living room. His eyebrows raise a little, and the look he gives me is a mixture of amused irritation. "I had things to do. We came here for a reason, remember?"
"So you locked me in the house? That doesn"t strike you as, I don"t know, f.u.c.king insane?"
He shrugs. "It kept you safe and out of trouble. That"s all that really matters to me."
"We"re in a Haven," I shout. "It"s perfectly safe."
He moves then, across the room, crowding into my personal s.p.a.ce. I squeak as he leans into me, backing me up into the chair.
"It"s Day One, and you"re a first. In a strange Haven with no protection. You know what they do to Firsts, Nurrin. Be p.i.s.sy. Destroy the house. I don"t give a f.u.c.k. I won"t let you put yourself in danger because you want some fresh air."
It"s Day One. I count the days in my head, backing up until I realize he"s right. It"s my birthday, the day the zombies rose.
He"s watching me. "Did you want to be out there, alone?"
Dread tickles my belly, and I have to shake my head.
Being a First-firstborn after the dead came back-came with its own set of issues. Including the cult that sprang up during the change. I shake my head, trying to dislodge the memory, painfully aware that he"s watching me.
"Can you wake me up next time?" I ask, my voice low. "Take me with you."
I look up and see the sardonic tilt to his lips. "I didn"t realize you"d want to be with me," he drawls.
I"m too tired for this-for his games and subtle rebuffs, for the disdain he oozes when he looks at me.
"You know, I don"t have time for this," I say, standing. "I don"t care if you don"t want me here-if you"d rather it was Collin. I came here to get the medicine to help my boyfriend. Medicine you neglected to mention you had. You do whatever you have to do, O"Malley, but don"t stop me from doing what I came for."
I turn to walk away then say over my shoulder, "I"m going tomorrow, to get what I need. Help me or stay out of my way. But don"t try to stop me."
Finn catches me at my bedroom door. He pulls me to a stop, and I look up at him. I don"t know what I expect to see there-disgust, amus.e.m.e.nt, irritation, hunger. I don"t ever know what to expect with him. And that fascinates me.
"It"s your birthday, Nurrin."
I flinch, looking away as tears pool in my eyes. That is the last thing I expect to hear. "No. It"s Day One."
He pushes my hair from my face, a gesture so gentle it makes my breath stop, and my eyes are wide and confused when I look at him. His gaze is so full I can"t decipher what I see there.
If I were very honest, I would admit that I don"t want to decipher what I see there. But I am rarely that honest.
"Day One is the day our whole world changed. But it"s also the day a girl was born. A girl who deserves to be known for more than just being a first." I gasp, and his hand drops away, leaving a searing heat in its wake. "I see that girl."
"Why are you saying this?" I demand, and I"m not even sure what I"m asking. His gaze heats and he turns away.
"Be ready at nine. I have an appointment."
f.u.c.k. That. I want one answer. One d.a.m.ned answer. I catch him and yank on his arm.