Among the nymphs and ferns of Portobello, Three Finger Gillie looked like the creature that gives fairy tales their tension. A burly man with thick black hair that curled low on his forehead and lapped over his ears and collar, he also featured a single, wide block of black eyebrow like a weight holding his eyes down. These eyes were pale blue and squinty and not warm, and they peered suspiciously out from both sides of a b.u.mpy nose shaped like a baseball left out in the rain. The mouth, what there was of it, was thin and straight and without color. Dortmunder had never before seen this head above anything but prison denim, so it was a surprise to see it chunked down on top of a black cashmere turtleneck sweater and a maroon vinyl jacket with the zipper open. Dressed like this, Gillie mostly gave the impression he"d stolen his body from an off-duty cop.
Looking at him, seated there, with a fancy coffee cup in front of him- mocha cappuccino? -Dortmunder remembered that other surprise, from the newspaper, that Three Finger had another front name. Martin. Crossing the half-empty restaurant, weighing the alternatives, he came to the conclusion no. Not a Martin. This was still a Three Finger.
He didn"t rise as Dortmunder approached, but patted his palm on the white marble table as if to say siddown. Dortmunder pulled out the delicate black wrought-iron chair, said, "You look the same, Three Finger," and sat.
"And yet," Three Finger said, "on the inside I"m all changed. You"re the same as ever outside and in, aren"t you?"
"Probably," Dortmunder agreed. "I read that thing in the paper."
"Ink," Three Finger reminded him, and smiled, showing the same old hard, gray, uneven teeth. "It"s publicity, John," he said, "that runs the art world. It don"t matter, you could be a genius, you could be Da Vinci, you don"t know how to publicize yourself, forget it."
"I guess you must know, then," Dortmunder said.
"Well, not enough," Three Finger admitted. "The show"s been open since last Thursday, a whole week. I"m only up three weeks, we got two red dots."
Dortmunder said, "Do that again," and here came the willowy waitress, wafting over with a menu that turned out to be eight pages of coffee. When Dortmunder found regular American, with cream and sugar- page five- she went away and Three Finger said, "Up, when I say I"m only up three weeks, I mean that"s how long my show is, then they take my stuff down off the walls and put somebody else up. And when I say two red dots, the way they work it, when somebody buys a picture, they don"t get to take it home right away, not till the show"s over, so the gallery puts a red dot next to the name on the wall, everybody knows it"s sold. In a week, I got two red dots."
"And that"s not so good, huh?"
"I got 43 canvases up there, John." Three Finger said. "This racket is supposed to keep me out of jewelry stores after hours. I gotta have more than two red dots."
"Gee, I wish you well," Dortmunder said.
"Well, you can do better than that," Three Finger told him. "That"s why I called you."
Here it comes, Dortmunder thought. He wants me to buy a painting. I never thought anybody I knew in the whole world would ever want me to buy a painting. How do I get out of this?
But what Three Finger said next was another surprise: "What you can do for me, you can rip me off."
"Ha-ha," Dortmunder said.
"No, listen to me, John," Three Finger said. Leaning close over the marble table, dangerously within arm"s reach, lowering his voice and peering intensely out of those icy eyes, he said, "This world we"re in, John, this is a world of irony."
Dortmunder had been lost since yesterday, when he"d read the piece in the newspaper, and nothing that was happening today was making him any more found. "Oh, yeah?" he said.
Three Finger lifted both hands above his head- Dortmunder flinched, but only a little- and made quotation signs. "Everything"s in quotes," he said. "Everybody"s taking a step back, looking the situation over, being cool."
"Uh-huh," Dortmunder said.
"Now, I got some ink," Three Finger went on. "I already got some, but it isn"t enough. The ex-con is an artist, this has some ironic interest in it, but what we got here, we got a situation where everybody"s got some ironic interest in them, everybody"s got some edge, some att.i.tude. I gotta call attention to myself. More ironic than thou, you see what I mean?"
"Sure," Dortmunder lied.
"So, what if the ex-con artist gets robbed?" Three Finger wanted to know. "The gallery gets burgled, you see what I mean?"
"Not entirely," Dortmunder admitted.
"A burglary doesn"t get into the papers," Three Finger pointed out. "A burglary isn"t news. A burglary is just another fact of life, like a fender bender."
"Sure."
"But if you give it that ironic edge," Three Finger said, low and pa.s.sionate, "then it"s the edge that gets in the paper, gets on TV. That"s what gets me on the talk shows. Not the ex-con turned artist, that isn"t enough. Not some penny-ante burglary, n.o.body cares. But the ex-con turned artist gets ripped off, his old life returns to bite him on the a.s.s, what he used to be rises up and slaps him on the face. Now you"ve got your irony. Now I can get this sheepish kinda grin on my face, and I can say, "Gee, Oprah, I guess in a funny way this is the dues I"m paying," and I got 43 red dots on the wall, you see what I mean?"
"Maybe," Dortmunder allowed, but it was hard to think this way. Publicity was to him pretty much what fire was to the Scarecrow in Oz. There was no way that he could possibly look on public exposure as a good thing. But if that"s where Three Finger was right now, reversing a lifetime of ingrained behavior, shifting from a skulk to a strut, fine.
However, that left one question, so Dortmunder asked it: "What"s in it for me?"
Three Finger looked surprised. "The insurance money," he said.
"What, you get it and you split it with me?"
"No, no, art theft doesn"t work like that." Three Finger reached into the inside pocket of his jacket- Dortmunder flinched, but barely- and brought out a business card. Sliding it across the marble table, he said, "This is the agent for the gallery"s insurance company. The way it works, you go in, you grab as many as you want- leave the red dot ones alone, that"s all I ask- then you call the agent, you d.i.c.ker a fee to return the stuff. Somewhere between maybe 10 and 25 percent."
"And I just walk back in with these paintings," Dortmunder said, "and n.o.body arrests me."
"You don"t walk back in," Three Finger told him. "Come on, John, you"re a pro, that"s why I called you. It"s like a kidnapping, you do it the same way. You can figure that part out. The insurance company wants to pay you because they"d have to pay the gallery a whole lot more."
Dortmunder said, "And what"s the split?"
"Nothing, John," Three Finger said. "The money"s all yours. Don"t worry, I"ll make out. You hit that gallery in the next week, I get ink. Believe me, where I am now, ink is better than money."
"Then you"re in some funny place," Dortmunder told him.
"It"s a lot better than where I used to be, John," Three Finger said.
Dortmunder picked up the business card and looked at it, and the willowy waitress brought him coffee in a round mauve cup the size of Elmira, so he put the card in his pocket. When she went away, he said, "I"ll think about it." Because what else would he do?
"You could go there today," Three Finger said. "Not with me, you know."
"Sure."
"You case the joint, if it looks good, you do it. The place closes at seven, you do it between eight and midnight, any night at all. I"m guaranteed to be with a crowd, so n.o.body thinks I ripped myself off for the publicity stunt."
Three Finger reached into his jacket again- Dortmunder did not flinch a bit- and brought out a postcard with a shiny picture on one side. Sliding it across the table, he said, "This is like my calling card these days. The gallery address is on the other side."
It was a reproduction of a painting, one of Three Finger"s, had to be. Dortmunder picked it up by the edges because the picture covered the whole area, and looked at a nighttime street scene. A side street, with a bar and some brick tenements and parked cars. It wasn"t dark, but the light was a little weird, streetlights and bar lights and lights in windows, all a little too green or a little too blue. No people showed anywhere along the street or in the windows, but you just had a feeling there were people there, barely out of sight, hiding maybe in a doorway, behind a car. It wasn"t a neighborhood you"d want to stay in.
"Keep it," Three Finger said. "I got a stack of "em."
Dortmunder pocketed the card, thinking he"d show it to his faithful companion this evening and she"d tell him what to think about it. "I"ll give the place the double-O," he promised.
"I can"t ask more," Three Finger a.s.sured him.
The neighborhood had been full of lofts and warehouses and light manufacturing. Then commerce left, went over to New Jersey or out to the island, and the artists moved in, for the large s.p.a.ces at low rents. But the artists made it trendy, so the real estate people moved in, changed the name to Soho, which in London does not mean South of Houston Street, and the rents went through the roof. The artists had to move out, but they left their paintings behind, in the new galleries. Parts of Soho still look pretty much like before, but some of it has been touristed up so much it doesn"t look like New York City at all. It looks like Charlotte Amalie, on a dimmer.
The Waspail Gallery was in a little cl.u.s.ter that had been touristed. In the first place, it came with its own parking lot. In New York?
A U of buildings, half a block"s worth, had been taken over for a series of shops and cafes. The most beat-up of the original buildings had been knocked down to make access to the former backyards, which were blacktopped into a parking area, plus selling and eating s.p.a.ce. The shops and cafes faced out onto the three streets surrounding the U, and they all also had entrances in back, from the parking lot.
The Waspail Gallery was midway down the left arm of the U. The original of the postcard in Dortmunder"s pocket stood on an easel in the big front window, looking even more menacing at life size. Inside, a stainless-steel girl in black presided at a little cherrywood desk, while three browsers browsed in the background. The girl gave Dortmunder one appraising look, glanced outside to see if it was raining, decided there was no telling and went back to her Interview.
All the pictures were early evening or night scenes of city streets, never with any people, always with that sense of hidden menace. Some were bigger, some were smaller, all had weirdness in the lighting. Dortmunder found the two with red dots- Scheme and Before the Rain- and they were the same as all the others. How could you tell you wanted this one and not that one over there?
Dortmunder browsed among the browsers, but mostly he was browsing for security. He saw the alarm system over the front door, a make and model he"d amused himself with in the past, and he smiled it a h.e.l.lo. He saw the locks on the doors at front and back, he saw the solid sheet metal-articulated gate that would ratchet down over the front window at night to protect the gla.s.s and to keep pa.s.sersby from seeing any burglar who might happen to be inside, and eventually he saw the thick iron mesh on the small window in the unis.e.x bathroom.
What he didn"t see was the surveillance camera. A joint with this alarm and those locks and that gate would usually have a surveillance camera, either to videotape with a motion sensor or to take still pictures every minute or so. So where was it?
There. Tucked away inside an apparent heating system grid high on the right wall. Dortmunder caught a glimpse of light reflecting off the lens, and it wasn"t until the next time he browsed by that he could figure out which way it pointed- diagonally toward the front entrance. So a person coming in from the back could avoid it without a problem.
He went out the back way, past the tourists snacking at tables on the asphalt, and home.
He didn"t like it. He wasn"t sure what it was, but something was wrong. He would have gone in and lifted a few pictures that first night, if he"d felt comfortable about it, but he didn"t. Something was wrong.
Was it just that this was connected with Three Finger Gillie, from whom nothing good had ever flowed? Or was there something else that he just couldn"t put his finger on?
It wasn"t the money. Gillie didn"t plan to rip off Dortmunder later on, or he"d have agreed to share the pie from the get-go. It was the publicity he wanted. And Dortmunder didn"t believe Gillie meant to double-cross him, turn him in to get himself some extra publicity, because it would be too easy to show they used to know each other in the old days and Gillie"s being the inside man in the boost would be obvious.
No, it wasn"t Gillie himself, at least not directly. It was something else that didn"t feel right, something having to do with that gallery.
Of course, he could just forget the whole thing, take a walk. He didn"t owe Three Finger Gillie any favors. But if there was something wrong, was it a smart idea to walk away without at least finding out what was what?
The third day, Dortmunder decided to go back to the gallery one more time, see if he could figure out what was bugging him.
This time, he thought he"d walk in the parking entrance and go into the gallery from that side, to see what it felt like. The first thing he saw, at an outdoor cafe across the half-empty lot from the gallery, was Jim O"Hara, drinking a Diet Pepsi. At least, the cup was a Diet Pepsi cup.
Jim O"Hara. A coincidence?
O"Hara was a guy Dortmunder had worked with here and there, around and about, from time to time. They"d done some things together. However, they didn"t travel in the same circles on a regular basis, so how did it happen that Jim O"Hara was here, and not looking at the rear entrance to the Waspail Gallery?
Dortmunder walked down the left side of the parking area, past the gallery (without looking at it), and when he was sure he"d caught O"Hara"s attention, he stopped, nodded as though he"d just decided on something, turned around and walked back out to the street.
The remaining parts of the original Soho neighborhood included some bars. Dortmunder found one after a three-block walk, purchased a draft beer, took it to a booth and had sipped twice before O"Hara joined him, having traded his Diet Pepsi for a draft of his own. For greeting, he said, "He talked to you, too, huh?"
"Three days ago," Dortmunder said. "When"d he talk to you?"
"Forty minutes ago. He"ll talk until somebody does it, I guess. How come you didn"t?"
"Smelled wrong," Dortmunder said.
O"Hara nodded. "Me, too. That"s why I was sitting there, trying to figure it out."
Dortmunder said, "Who knows how many people he"s telling the story to."
"So we walk away from it."
"No, we can"t," Dortmunder told him. "That"s what I finally realized when I saw you sitting over there."
O"Hara drank beer, and frowned. "Why can"t we just forget it?"
"The whole thing hangs together," Dortmunder said. "What got to me, in that gallery there, and now I know it, and it"s the answer to what"s wrong with this picture, is the security camera."
"What security camera?" O"Hara asked, and then said, "You"re right, there should have been one, and there wasn"t."
"Well, there was," Dortmunder told him. "Tucked away in a vent thing on the wall. But the thing about a security camera, it"s always right out there, mounted under the ceiling, out where you can see it. That"s part of the security, that you"re supposed to know it"s there."
"Why, that son of a b.i.t.c.h," O"Hara said.
"Oops, wait a minute, I know that fella," O"Hara said the next night, back in the gallery-facing parking lot. "Be right back."
"I"ll be here," Dortmunder said as O"Hara rose to intercept an almost invisible guy approaching the gallery across the way, a skinny slinking guy in dark gray jacket, dark gray pants, black sneakers and black baseball cap worn frontward.
Dortmunder watched the two not quite meet and then leave the parking area not quite together, and then for a while he watched tourists yawn at the tables around him until O"Hara and the other guy walked back together. They came to the table and O"Hara said, "Pete, John. John, Pete."
"Harya."
"That Three Finger"s something, isn"t he?" Pete said, and sat with them. Then he smiled up at the actor turned waiter who materialized beside him like a genie out of the bottle. "Nothing for me, thanks, pal," Pete said. "I"m up to here in Chicken McNuggets."
The actor shrugged and vanished, while Dortmunder decided not to ask for a definition of Chicken McNuggets. Instead, he said, "It was today he talked to you?"
"Yeah, and I was gonna do it, that"s how bright I am," Pete said. "Like the fella says, I get along with a little help from my friends, without whom I"d be asking for my old cell back.
O"Hara said, "Happy to oblige." To Dortmunder he said, "Pete agrees with us."
Pete said, "And it"s tonight, am I right?"
"Before he recruits an entire platoon," Dortmunder said.
O"Hara said, "Or before somebody actually does it."
For a second, it looked as though Pete might offer to shake hands all around. But he quelled that impulse, grinned at them instead and said, "Like the fella says, all for one and one for all and a sharp stick in the eye for Three Finger."
"Hear, hear," O"Hara said.
Three-fifteen in the morning. While O"Hara and Dortmunder waited in the car they"d borrowed out in Queens earlier this evening, Pete slithered along the storefronts toward the parking area entrance at the far end of the block. Halfway there, he disappeared into the shifting shadows of the night.
"He moves nice," Dortmunder said in approval.
"Uh-huh," O"Hara said. "Pete"s never paid to see a movie in his life."