PAMELA ANDREWS
_II.--Twelve Months Later_
MY DEAR MOTHER,--You and my good father may wonder you have not had a letter from me in so many weeks; but a sad, sad scene has been the occasion of it. But yet, don"t be frightened, I am honest, and I hope G.o.d, in his goodness, will keep me so.
O this angel of a master! this fine gentleman! this gracious benefactor to your poor Pamela! who was to take care of me at the prayer of his good, dying mother! This very gentleman (yes, I _must_ call him gentleman, though he has fallen from the merit of that t.i.tle) has degraded himself to offer freedoms to his poor servant; he has now showed himself in his true colours, and, to me, nothing appears so black and so frightful.
I have not been idle; but had writ from time to time, how he, by sly, mean degrees, exposed his wicked views, but somebody stole my letter, and I know not what is become of it. I am watched very narrowly; and he says to Mrs. Jervis, the housekeeper, "This girl is always scribbling; I think she may be better employed." And yet I work very hard with my needle upon his linen and the fine linen of the family; and am, besides, about flowering him a waistcoat. But, oh, my heart"s almost broken; for what am I likely to have for any reward but shame and disgrace, or else ill words and hard treatment!
As I can"t find my letter, I"ll try to recollect it all. All went well enough in the main, for some time. But one day he came to me as I was in the summer-house in the little garden at work with my needle, and Mrs.
Jervis was just gone from me, and I would have gone out, but he said, "Don"t go, Pamela, I have something to say to you, and you always fly me when I come near you, as if you were afraid of me."
I was much out of countenance you may well think, and began to tremble, and the more when he took me by the hand, for no soul was near us.
"You are a little fool," he said hastily, "and know not what"s good for yourself. I tell you I will make a gentlewoman of you if you are obliging, and don"t stand in your own light." And so saying, he put his arm about me and kiss"d me.
Now, you will say, all his wickedness appear"d plainly. I burst from him, and was getting out of the summer-house, but he held me back, and shut the door.
I would have given my life for a farthing. And he said, "I"ll do you no harm, Pamela; don"t be afraid of me."
I sobb"d and cry"d most sadly. "What a foolish hussy you are!" said he.
"Have I done you any harm?" "Yes, sir," said I, "the greatest harm in the world; you have taught me to forget myself, and have lessen"d the distance that fortune has made between us, by demeaning yourself to be so free to a poor servant. I am honest, though poor; and if you were a prince I would not be otherwise than honest."
He was angry, and said, "Who, little fool, would have you otherwise?
Cease your blubbering. I own I have undervalued myself; but it was only to try you. If you can keep this matter secret, you"ll give me the better opinion of your prudence. And here"s something," added he, putting some gold in my hand, "to make you amends for the fright I put you in. Go, take a walk in the garden, and don"t go in till your blubbering is over."
"I won"t take the money, indeed, sir," said I, and so I put it upon the bench. And as he seemed vexed and confounded at what he had done, I took the opportunity to hurry out of the summer-house.
He called to me, and said, "Be secret, I charge you, Pamela; and don"t go in yet."
O how poor and mean must those actions be, and how little they must make the best of gentlemen look, when they put it into the power of their inferiors to be greater than they!
Pray for me, my dear father and mother; and don"t be angry that I have not yet run away from this house, so late my comfort and delight, but now my terror and anguish. I am forc"d to break off hastily.
Your dutiful and honest DAUGHTER.
_III.--Pamela in Distress_
O my dearest Father and Mother,--Let me write and bewail my miserable fate, though I have no hope that what I write can be convey"d to your hands! I have now nothing to do but write and weep and fear and pray!
But I will tell you what has befallen me, and some way, perhaps, may be opened to send the melancholy scribble to you. Alas, the unhappy Pamela may be undone before you can know her hard lot!
Last Thursday morning came, when I was to set out and return home to you, my dearest parents. I had taken my leave of my fellow-servants overnight, and a mournful leave it was to us all, for men, as well as women servants, wept to part with me; and for _my_ part, I was overwhelmed with tears on the affecting instances of their love.
My master was above stairs, and never ask"d to see me. False heart, he knew that I was not to be out of his reach! Preserve me, heaven, from his power, and from his wickedness!
I look"d up when I got to the chariot, and I saw my master at the window, and I courtsy"d three times to him very low, and pray"d for him with my hands lifted up; for I could not speak. And he bow"d his head to me, which made me then very glad he would take such notice of me.
Robin drove so fast that I said to myself, at this rate of driving I shall soon be with my father and mother. But, alas! by nightfall he had driven me to a farmhouse far from home; and the farmer and his wife, he being a tenant of Mr. B., my master, while they treated me kindly, would do nothing to aid me in flight. And next day he drove me still further, and when we stopped at an inn in a town strange to me, the mistress of the inn was _expecting_ me, and immediately called out for her sister, Jewkes. Jewkes! thought I. That is the name of the housekeeper at my master"s house in Lincolnshire.
Then the wicked creature appear"d, and I was frighted out of my wits.
The wretch would not trust me out of her sight, and soon I was forced to set out with her in the chariot. Now I gave over all thoughts of redemption.
Here are strange pains, thought I, taken to ruin a poor, innocent, helpless young female. This plot is laid too deep to be baffled, I fear.
About eight at night we enter"d the courtyard of this handsome, large, old, lonely mansion, that looked to me then as if built for solitude and mischief. And here, said I to myself, I fear, is to be the scene of my ruin, unless G.o.d protect me, Who is all-sufficient.
I was very ill at entering it, partly from fatigue, and partly from dejection of spirits. Mrs. Jewkes seem"d mighty officious to welcome me, and call"d me _madam_ at every word.
"Pray, Mrs. Jewkes," said I, "don"t _madam_ me so! I am but a silly, poor girl, set up by the gambol of fortune for a May-game. Let us, therefore, talk upon afoot together, and that will be a favour done me.
I am now no more than a poor desolate creature, and no better than a prisoner."
"Ay, ay," says she, "I understand something of the matter. You have so great power over my master that you will soon be mistress of us all; and so I will oblige you, if I can. And I must and will call you madam, for such are the instructions of my master, and you may depend upon it I shall observe my orders."
"You will not, I hope," replied I, "do an unlawful or wicked thing for any master in the world."
"Look ye!" said she. "He is my master, and if he bids me do a thing that I _can_ do, I think I _ought_ to do it; and let him, who has power to command me, look to the _lawfulness_ of it."
"Suppose," said I, "he should resolve to ensnare a poor young creature and ruin her, would you a.s.sist him in such wickedness? And do you not think that to rob a person of her virtue is worse than cutting her throat?"
"Why, now," said she, "how strangely you talk! Are not the two s.e.xes made for each other? And is it not natural for a man to love a pretty woman?" And then the wretch fell a-laughing, and talk"d most impertinently, and show"d me that I had nothing to expect either from her virtue or compa.s.sion.
_I am now come to the twenty-seventh day of my imprisonment_. One stratagem I have just thought of, though attended with this discouraging circ.u.mstance that I have neither friends, nor money, nor know one step of the way were I actually out of the house. But let bulls and bears and lions and tigers and, what is worse, false, treacherous, deceitful man stand in my way, I cannot be in more danger than I now think myself in.
Mrs. Jewkes has received a letter. She tells me, as a secret, that she has reason to think my master has found a way to satisfy my scruples. It is by marrying me to his dreadful Swiss servant, Colbrand, and buying me of him on the wedding-day for a sum of money! Was ever the like heard?
She says it will be my duty to obey my husband, and that when my master has paid for me, and I am surrender"d up, the Swiss is to go home again, with the money, to his former wife and children; for, she says, it is the custom of these people to have a wife in every nation.
But this, to be sure, is horrid romancing!
_Friday, the thirty-sixth day of imprisonment_. Mercy on me! What will become of me? Here is my master come in his fine chariot! What shall I do? Where shall I hide myself?
He has entered and come up!
He put on a stern and a haughty air. "Well, perverse Pamela, ungrateful creature, you do well, don"t you, to give me all this trouble and vexation?"
I could not speak, but sobb"d and sigh"d, as if my heart would break.
"Sir," I said, "permit me to return to my parents. That is all I have to ask."
He flew into a violent pa.s.sion. "Is it thus," said he, "I am to be answered? Begone from my sight!"
The next day he sent me up by Mrs. Jewkes his proposals. They were seven in number, and included the promise of an estate of 250 a year in Kent, to be settled on my father; and a number of suits of rich clothing and diamond rings were to be mine if I would consent to be his mistress.
My answer was that my parents and their daughter would much rather choose to starve in a ditch or rot in a noisome dungeon, than accept of the fortune of a monarch upon such wicked terms.
Mrs. Jewkes now tells me he is exceedingly wroth, and that I must quit the house, and may go home to my father and mother.