Then he stood up and straightened his collar, and put his hands in his pockets.
"You"re very unhappy now," he said, "and you deserve to be. But I will say one thing to you."
Then he said a thing which Oswald at least will never forget (though but little he deserved it, with the obstruction in his pocket, unowned up to all the time).
He said, "I have known you all for four years--and you know as well as I do how many sc.r.a.pes I"ve seen you in and out of--but I"ve never known one of you tell a lie, and I"ve never known one of you do a mean or dishonourable action. And when you have done wrong you are always sorry.
Now this is something to stand firm on. You"ll learn to be good in the other ways some day."
He took his hands out of his pockets, and his face looked different, so that three of the four guilty creatures knew he was no longer adamant, and they threw themselves into his arms. Dora, Denny, Daisy, and H. O., of course, were not in it, and I think they thanked their stars.
Oswald did not embrace Albert"s uncle. He stood there and made up his mind he would go for a soldier. He gave the wet ball one last squeeze, and took his hand out of his pocket, and said a few words before going to enlist. He said--
"The others may deserve what you say. I hope they do, I"m sure. But I don"t, because it was my rotten cricket ball that stopped up the pipe and caused the midnight flood in our bedroom. And I knew it quite early this morning. And I didn"t own up."
Oswald stood there covered with shame, and he could feel the hateful cricket ball heavy and cold against the top of his leg, through the pocket.
Albert"s uncle said--and his voice made Oswald hot all over, but not with shame--he said--
I shall not tell you what he said. It is no one"s business but Oswald"s; only I will own it made Oswald not quite so anxious to run away for a soldier as he had been before.
That owning up was the hardest thing I ever did. They did put that in the Book of Golden Deeds, though it was not a kind or generous act, and did no good to anyone or anything except Oswald"s own inside feelings.
I must say I think they might have let it alone. Oswald would rather forget it. Especially as d.i.c.ky wrote it in and put this:
"Oswald acted a lie, which, he knows, is as bad as telling one. But he owned up when he needn"t have, and this condones his sin. We think he was a thorough brick to do it."
Alice scratched this out afterwards and wrote the record of the incident in more flattering terms. But d.i.c.ky had used Father"s ink, and she used Mrs Pettigrew"s, so anyone can read his underneath the scratching outs.
The others were awfully friendly to Oswald, to show they agreed with Albert"s uncle in thinking I deserved as much share as anyone in any praise there might be going.
It was Dora who said it all came from my quarrelling with Noel about that rotten cricket ball; but Alice, gently yet firmly, made her shut up.
I let Noel have the ball. It had been thoroughly soaked, but it dried all right. But it could never be the same to me after what it had done and what I had done.
I hope you will try to agree with Albert"s uncle and not think foul scorn of Oswald because of this story. Perhaps you have done things nearly as bad yourself sometimes. If you have, you will know how "owning up" soothes the savage breast and alleviates the gnawings of remorse.
If you have never done naughty acts I expect it is only because you never had the sense to think of anything.
CHAPTER 6. THE CIRCUS
The ones of us who had started the Society of the Wouldbegoods began, at about this time, to bother.
They said we had not done anything really n.o.ble--not worth speaking of, that is--for over a week, and that it was high time to begin again--"with earnest endeavour", Daisy said. So then Oswald said--
"All right; but there ought to be an end to everything. Let"s each of us think of one really n.o.ble and unselfish act, and the others shall help to work it out, like we did when we were Treasure Seekers. Then when everybody"s had their go-in we"ll write every single thing down in the Golden Deed book, and we"ll draw two lines in red ink at the bottom, like Father does at the end of an account. And after that, if anyone wants to be good they can jolly well be good on our own, if at all."
The ones who had made the Society did not welcome this wise idea, but d.i.c.ky and Oswald were firm.
So they had to agree. When Oswald is really firm, opposingness and obstinacy have to give way.
Dora said, "It would be a n.o.ble action to have all the school-children from the village and give them tea and games in the paddock. They would think it so nice and good of us."
But d.i.c.ky showed her that this would not be OUR good act, but Father"s, because he would have to pay for the tea, and he had already stood us the keepsakes for the soldiers, as well as having to stump up heavily over the coal barge. And it is in vain being n.o.ble and generous when someone else is paying for it all the time, even if it happens to be your father. Then three others had ideas at the same time and began to explain what they were.
We were all in the dining-room, and perhaps we were making a bit of a row. Anyhow, Oswald for one, does not blame Albert"s uncle for opening his door and saying--
"I suppose I must not ask for complete silence. That were too much.
But if you could whistle, or stamp with your feet, or shriek or howl--anything to vary the monotony of your well-sustained conversation."
Oswald said kindly, "We"re awfully sorry. Are you busy?"
"Busy?" said Albert"s uncle. "My heroine is now hesitating on the verge of an act which, for good or ill, must influence her whole subsequent career. You wouldn"t like her to decide in the middle of such a row that she can"t hear herself think?"
We said, "No, we wouldn"t."
Then he said, "If any outdoor amus.e.m.e.nt should commend itself to you this bright mid-summer day." So we all went out.
Then Daisy whispered to Dora--they always hang together. Daisy is not nearly so white-micey as she was at first, but she still seems to fear the deadly ordeal of public speaking. Dora said--
"Daisy"s idea is a game that"ll take us all day. She thinks keeping out of the way when he"s making his heroine decide right would be a n.o.ble act, and fit to write in the Golden Book; and we might as well be playing something at the same time."
We all said "Yes, but what?"
There was a silent interval.
"Speak up, Daisy, my child." Oswald said; "fear not to lay bare the utmost thoughts of that faithful heart."
Daisy giggled. Our own girls never giggle--they laugh right out or hold their tongues. Their kind brothers have taught them this. Then Daisy said--
"If we could have a sort of play to keep us out of the way. I once read a story about an animal race. Everybody had an animal, and they had to go how they liked, and the one that got in first got the prize. There was a tortoise in it, and a rabbit, and a peac.o.c.k, and sheep, and dogs, and a kitten."
This proposal left us cold, as Albert"s uncle says, because we knew there could not be any prize worth bothering about. And though you may be ever ready and willing to do anything for nothing, yet if there"s going to be a prize there must BE a prize and there"s an end of it.
Thus the idea was not followed up. d.i.c.ky yawned and said, "Let"s go into the barn and make a fort."
So we did, with straw. It does not hurt straw to be messed about with like it does hay.
The downstairs--I mean down-ladder--part of the barn was fun too, especially for Pincher. There was as good ratting there as you could wish to see. Martha tried it, but she could not help running kindly beside the rat, as if she was in double harness with it. This is the n.o.ble bull-dog"s gentle and affectionate nature coming out. We all enjoyed the ratting that day, but it ended, as usual, in the girls crying because of the poor rats. Girls cannot help this; we must not be waxy with them on account of it, they have their nature, the same as bull-dogs have, and it is this that makes them so useful in smoothing the pillows of the sick-bed and tending wounded heroes.
However, the forts, and Pincher, and the girls crying, and having to be thumped on the back, pa.s.sed the time very agreeably till dinner. There was roast mutton with onion sauce, and a roly-poly pudding.
Albert"s uncle said we had certainly effaced ourselves effectually, which means we hadn"t bothered.
So we determined to do the same during the afternoon, for he told us his heroine was by no means out of the wood yet.
And at first it was easy. Jam roly gives you a peaceful feeling and you do not at first care if you never play any runabout game ever any more.
But after a while the torpor begins to pa.s.s away. Oswald was the first to recover from his.