"I guess you know why I was headed out to Sam"s," Tammi Lee said, bringing his thoughts around full circle.
"To see the boy, I imagine."
"I"ve been told the boy"s name is Cody." Her voice held a gentle censure. "Cody Jackson Turner. So it"s lucky I ran into you. Now you can tell me all about him, sort of prepare me."
"I haven"t seen much of my grandson, Tammi Lee."
"Yeah, well, he"s my grandson, too, and I"ve never seen him."
"A word to the wise. Don"t expect a bunch of hugs and kisses."
"From a sixteen-year-old boy who doesn"t know me from Reba McIntyre? Don"t worry, Gavin, I"m not that stupid." She was pensive for a few moments. "When Sam was that age, he acted more grown up than me. Quit school and went to work for you. I took that boy"s childhood away from him. No. I never let him have a childhood in the first place."
The frank regret in her voice made him wince. "Hey, take it easy on yourself. Sam"s fine. Not every mother raises a boy to become a doctor."
"He did it all on his own. I never forget that. Never."
"You have a right to be pretty proud of Sam," Gavin remarked.
She laughed briefly, shaking her head. "I keep thinking he was left with me by mistake, that he was actually meant for some couple with a nice house full of books and a piano and supper hot on the table every night."
"I bet that would have made him too soft to do everything he"s done." Gavin wished she"d drop the subject. He knew what she"d been like when Sam was coming up. Though she"d been his full-time mother, in a way she had been as absent from Sam as Gavin was from Mich.e.l.le. Because when you were a drunk, you weren"t there. Simple as that.
"Okay, here we are." He turned down the drive to Sam"s place. It wasn"t a showy spread, not like Blue Rock was. A battered mailbox was the only indication that it had a name; LONEPINE was stenciled on the side and the flag was up. In the middle of the front pasture, the huge old lodgepole pine tree that had given the place its name stood draped in snow.
A slim girl on a tall Appaloosa rode in the opposite direction, leaving the ranch. Gavin recognized her as Ruby Lightning"s girl.
"Wonder if she was keeping Cody company," Tammi Lee murmured. "If the youngster"s anywhere near as good-looking as his dad, he"ll have no trouble in the girl department. How about that daughter of yours?" she asked suddenly. "I hear she"s some big-shot ad executive in Seattle."
"Uh-huh. But I didn"t have anything to do with that."
"Nice she came back after all these years."
He pulled up to the barn and parked. A Border collie scampered out, barking and leaping in the snow.
Turning to Tammi Lee, Gavin forced himself to level with her. "Mich.e.l.le didn"t come back to be nice."
"Oh... ?"
"I"ve been sick." He hated saying it, nearly gagged on the words. "You probably heard that."
"There was talk of it in the shop."
"I"ve been on dialysis, but it isn"t doing it for me. I could go toxic anytime. I need a kidney transplant. Mich.e.l.le"s going to be the donor."
"My G.o.d-"
"I"ll never be able to thank her."
"Just get yourself healthy, Gavin. That"ll be thanks enough. I know that for sure."
Sam"s partner, Edward Bliss, came out hefting an extra large Havahart wildlife trap. Gavin opened Tammi Lee"s door for her.
"Hey, folks," Bliss said, his greeting light, his stare heavy with curiosity.
"Hey yourself, Eddie." Tammi Lee tucked her knitted hat down over her ears. "My car broke down. I"ll use the phone in the barn office."
"Sure. Sam"s at work today."
"I know. I came to see Cody."
Bliss"s interest was so intense it was almost comical. "He"s in the barn."
Gavin said, "You want some help with that trap?"
"No, thanks." Bliss shuffled away on reluctant feet. "I"ve got it." He deposited the trap on a flatbed sled hitched to a snowmobile. "Better be going. We"ve had a cat prowling around lately."
"Let me know if that thing works. I"ve had trouble with mountain lions myself the past couple of years," Gavin said as Bliss started the engine and rode off. Gavin stood between the truck and the barn, undecided. There was no need for him to stay, but he didn"t feel like going just now either.
Tammi Lee hesitated at the barn door. "Hey, Gavin?"
"Yeah?"
"Maybe you could, um, introduce us."
For the first time since finding her on the side of the road, he smiled. He didn"t blame her, feeling nervous about meeting a sixteen-year-old grandkid she never knew about. Cody was enough to make anybody nervous. "Sure," he said. "Of course."
They went into the barn together. The fecund smells of hay and mola.s.ses oats and manure filled the air and, somewhere, a radio played terrible music designed to drive people crazy.
"I"m no square in the music department," Tammi Lee whispered to Gavin. "Does this count as music?"
He made an exaggerated show of covering his ears. "Welcome to Cody"s world."
They spotted him cleaning a stall. Oblivious to the visitors, he had a pretty good rhythm going with the shovel, bending to load, then swinging up to deposit the load in a wheelbarrow.
"Too bad Sam got to the kid first," Gavin commented, surprised to see him working so industriously. "He would be pretty useful around Blue Rock."
"You should give him some ch.o.r.es," said Tammi Lee, her stare devouring Cody. "I bet he"d work for both of you."
"When I first laid eyes on the boy, I didn"t think he"d turn out to be good for much of anything. To me, he looked like every reason I never watch MTV."
Tammi Lee crossed her arms in front of her, leaning against a post. "Then you forgot the cardinal rule of kids."
"What"s that?"
"Underneath the most terrible att.i.tude and the most terrible clothes, he"s just a kid."
"I don"t have much experience with kids."
"Me neither." Apprehensive as a nervous filly, she took a step toward Cody.
"You okay?" he asked, surprised by her hesitation.
"Look, I didn"t do so hot with Sam," she said. "I don"t want to blow it with Sam"s son."
Gavin"s heart took an unexpected lurch. Suddenly it struck him that getting off the bottle had been a struggle for her, a battle, a war. And that she was never really safe from a relapse.
Without thinking, he took her hand. "Come on. I"ll introduce you."
Reaching for the radio, he switched it off.
Cody"s uncertain tenor voice kept singing, then broke off. "Hey, what the-" He stopped himself again when he saw Gavin and Tammi Lee.
"Sorry about that." Gavin grinned in a friendly fashion. But he"d screwed up already, embarra.s.sing the kid.
"You shouldn"t sneak up on people like that." Cody set aside his shovel and peeled off one glove, inserting his finger up under his cap where the edge of his bandage showed.
"Your head all right?" Gavin asked.
"It itches."
"I brought someone for you to meet. This is Sam"s mother, Tammi Lee Gilmer."
He felt her give his hand a squeeze before she took the final step toward Cody. For someone Gavin barely knew, she was easy to read. The woman was petrified. And moved-he could see that in the tremor at the edge of her smile, in the extra sparkle in the corner of her eye.
"Hey, Cody," she said in her cigarette voice. "This is such a surprise. I couldn"t wait to meet you."
He quit scratching. After a second, he held out his hand. She took it briefly.
"Hi," he said.
"I guess you"d better call me Tammi, or Tammi Lee," she said.
"Not Granny or Grandma?" Gavin asked in a teasing voice, trying to lighten the moment.
"I sure wouldn"t mind," she said in a rush of honesty that left her flushed. "But "Grandma" is a name that has to be earned, don"t you think? Cody and I have only just met."
She folded her hands in front of her and studied his face. "You"re probably going to get sick of hearing this, but you look exactly like Sam did when he was young. Sam was just about the best-looking kid in town."
The boy shrugged. He was a little lacking in the poise department, Gavin observed. Too much time plugged into Nintendo? He didn"t know. There was too much he didn"t know about this boy.
"Cody," Tammi Lee said, "I don"t want to embarra.s.s you. I don"t want to push myself on you. But if you don"t mind, maybe we could spend a little time together sometime."
"I have to work," he said bluntly.
"Oh," she said. Her fingers knit together. "I make a mean homemade pizza," she added.
He nodded noncommittally and pulled on his glove. "I"d better get after it then."
"See you around, maybe," Tammi Lee said.
"Maybe."
Gavin walked away with her. The music came back on. They stopped to look in on the mare with the new baby, leaning against the half door and admiring the little one. Gavin chanced a look at her, and wasn"t surprised to see a tear tracking down her cheek.
"Hey, he"s just a jerky little kid," he said, handing her a bandanna from his pocket.
"I didn"t expect him to fall into my arms. But Jesus Christ, I wanted to hold him." Her hands shook as she grasped the top of the stall door. "How I wanted to hold him."
Her stark, honest yearning touched Gavin. "I think we both missed out on that stage with Cody."
She blotted her cheeks and handed back the bandanna. "I guess what makes me so sad is that I missed out on a lot of that with Sam, too. Some things you just learn too late."
An old twinge nagged at Gavin. Seventeen years ago, he"d made up his mind about Tammi Lee and Sam-and he"d been wrong.
"I better go call about my car," she said.
As they reached the barn door, the loud music cut off. Tammi Lee and Gavin turned back. Cody stepped out into the breezeway.
"Hey... Tammi Lee." He sounded uncertain as he spoke her name.
"Yeah?"
"What kind of pizza?"
A smile broke across her face. "Whatever you like, hon. Whatever you like."
Chapter 23.
Sam"s snow tires crackled on the drive as he turned into his farm. He was surprised to see Gavin Slade"s Ford 350 parked outside the barn. d.a.m.n, what was Gavin doing here?
Sam pulled up to the house and spotted a light on in the kitchen. He stopped on the back porch, amazed to see his mother offering a steaming mug to Gavin Slade.
Sam paused to collect himself. His first meeting with Gavin Slade had set in motion events no one could have predicted. When Sam was seventeen, his mom"s car had died in the parking lot of the Truxtop Cafe in Crystal City. The owner, above average in the decency department, had arranged a tow to McEvoy"s Garage and had given Tammi Lee a job. A few inquiries steered Sam to Blue Rock. Good reputation, rodeo stock contractor. The kind of operation a cowboy dreamed of.
Gavin"s foreman had taken one look at Sam in the saddle and summoned the boss. Sam"s physique had always worked in his favor. He was tall and rangy with long hands and a relaxed way that gave people-and horses-confidence.
"Well, you look like a cowboy. Can you ride like one?" Gavin had wanted to know.
Digging in his heels, Sam had demonstrated on the borrowed quarter horse.
"How"d you get here?" Gavin had asked.