"But how am I to keep from thinking, Maurice? The weaker I am, the more I think."
"Are you dutiful as to what Winifred there thinks wisest? Ah! Albinia, you want to learn, as poor Queen Anne of Austria did, that docility in illness may be self-resignation into higher Hands. Perhaps you despise it, but it is no mean exercise of strength and resolution to be still."
Albinia looked at him as if receiving a new idea.
"And," he added, bending nearer her face, and speaking lower, "when you pray, let them be hearty faithful prayers that G.o.d"s hand may be over your child--your children, not half-hearted faithless ones, that He may work out your will in them."
"Oh, Maurice, how did you know? But you are not going? I have so much to talk over with you."
"Yes, I must go; and you must be still. Indeed I will watch over Gilbert as though he were mine. Yes, even more. Don"t speak again, Albinia, I desire you will not. Good-bye."
That lecture had been the most wholesome treatment she had yet received; she ceased to give way without effort to restless thoughts and cares, and was much less refractory.
When at last Lucy and Sophia were admitted, Winifred found perils that she had not antic.i.p.ated. Lucy was indeed supremely and girlishly happy: but it was Sophy whose eye Albinia sought with anxiety, and that eye was averted. Her cheek was cold like that of a doll when Albinia touched it eagerly with her lips; and when Lucy admonished her to kiss the dear little brother, she fairly turned and ran out of the room.
"Poor Sophy!" said Lucy. "Never mind her, mamma, but she is odder than ever, since baby has been born. When Eweretta came up and told us, she hid her face and cried; and when grandmamma wanted to make us promise to love him with all our hearts, and not make any difference, she would only say, "I wont!""
"We will leave him to take care of that, Lucy," said Albinia. But though she spoke cheerfully, Winifred was not surprised, after a little interval, to hear sounds like stifled weeping.
Almost every home subject was so dangerous, that whenever Mrs. Ferrars wanted to make cheerful, innocent conversation, she began to talk of her visit to Ireland and the beautiful Galway coast, and the O"Mores of Ballymakilty, till Albinia grew quite sick of the names of the whole clan of thirty-six cousins, and thought, with her aunts, that Winifred was too Irish. Yet, at any other time, the histories would have made her sometimes laugh, and sometimes cry, but the world was sadly out of joint with her.
There was a sudden change when, for the first time her eye rested on the lawn, and she beheld the work of drainage. The light glanced in her eye, the colour rose on her cheek, and she exclaimed, "How kind of Edmund!"
Winifred must needs give her husband his share. "Ah! you would never have had it done without Maurice."
"Yes," said Albinia, "Edmund has been out of the way of such things, but he consented, you know." Then as her eyes grew liquid, "A duck pond is a funny subject for sentiment, but oh! if you knew what that place has been to my imagination from the first, and how the wreaths of mist have wound themselves into spectres in my dreams, and stretched out white shrouds now for one, now for the other!" and she shuddered.
"And you have gone through all this and never spoken. No wonder your nerves and spirits were tried."
"I did speak at first," said Albinia; "but I thought Edmund did not hear, or thought it nonsense, and so did I at times. But you see he did attend; he always does, you see, at the right time. It was only my impatience."
"I suspect Maurice and John Smith had more to do with it," said Winifred.
"Well, we wont quarrel about that," said Albinia. "I only know that whoever brought it about has taken the heaviest weight off my mind that has been there yet."
In truth, the terror, half real, half imaginary, had been a sorer burthen than all the positive cares for those unruly children, or their silent, melancholy father; and the relief told in all ways--above all, in the peace with which she began to regard her child. Still she would provoke Winifred by bestowing all her grat.i.tude on Mr. Kendal, who began to be persuaded that he had made an heroic exertion.
Winifred had been somewhat scandalized by discovering Albinia"s deficiencies in the furniture development. She was too active and stirring, and too fond of out-of-door occupation, to regard interior decoration as one of the domestic graces, "her nest was rather that of the ostrich than the chaffinch," as Winifred told her on the discovery that her morning-room had been used for no other purpose than as a deposit for all the books, wedding presents, lumber, etc., which she had never had leisure to arrange.
"You might be more civil," answered Albinia. "Remember that the ringdove never made half such a fuss about her nest as the magpie."
"Well, I am glad you have found some likeness in yourself to a dove,"
rejoined Winifred.
Mrs. Ferrars set vigorously to work with Lucy, and rendered the room so pretty and pleasant, that Lucy p.r.o.nounced that it must be called nothing but the boudoir, for it was a perfect little bijou.
Albinia was laid on the sofa by the sparkling fire, by her side the little cot, and in her hand a most happy affectionate letter from Gilbert, detailing the Fairmead Christmas festivities. She felt the invigoration of change of room, admired and was grateful for Winifred"s work, and looked so fair and bright, so tranquil and so contented, that her sister and husband could not help pausing to contemplate her as an absolutely new creature in a state of quiescence.
It did not last long, and Mrs. Ferrars felt herself the unwilling culprit. Attracted by sounds in the hall, she found the two girls receiving from the hands of Genevieve Durant a pretty basket choicely adorned with sprays of myrtle, saying mamma would be much obliged, and they would take it up at once; Genevieve should take home her basket, and down plunged their hands regardless of the garniture.
Genevieve"s disappointed look caught Winifred"s attention, and springing forward she exclaimed, "You shall come to Mrs. Kendal yourself, my dear.
She must see your pretty basket," and yourself, she could have added, as she met the grateful glitter of the dark eyes.
Lucy remonstrated that mamma had seen no one yet, not even Aunt Maria, but Mrs. Ferrars would not listen, and treading airily, yet with reverence that would have befitted a royal palace, Genevieve was ushered upstairs, and with heartfelt sweetness, and timid grace, presented her etrennes.
Under the fragrant sprays lay a small white-paper parcel, tied with narrow blue satin bows, such as no English fingers could accomplish, and within was a little frock-body, exquisitely embroidered, with a breastplate of actual point lace in a pattern like frostwork on the windows. It was such work as Madame Belmarche had learnt in a convent in times of history, and poor little Genevieve had almost worn out her black eyes on this piece of homage to her dear Mrs. Kendal, grieving only that she had not been able to add the length of robe needed to complete her gift.
Albinia"s kiss was recompense beyond her dreams, and she fairly cried for joy when she was told that she should come and help to dress the babe in it for his christening. Mrs. Ferrars would walk out with her at once to buy a sufficiency of cambric for the mighty skirts.
That visit was indeed nothing but pleasure, but Mrs. Ferrars had not calculated on contingencies and family punctilios. She forgot that it would be a mortal offence to let in any one rather than Miss Meadows; but the rest of the family were so well aware of it, that when she returned she heard a perfect sparrow"s-nest of voices--Lucy"s pert and eager, Miss Meadows"s injured and shrill, and Albinia"s, alas! thin and loud, half sarcasm, half fret.
There sat Aunt Maria fidgeting in the arm-chair; Lucy stood by the fire; Albinia"s countenance sadly different from what it had been in the morning--weary, impatient, and excited, all that it ought not to be!
Winifred would have cleared the room at once, but this was not easy, and poor Albinia was so far gone as to be determined on finishing that endless thing, an altercation, so all three began explaining and appealing at once.
It seemed that Mrs. Osborn was requiting Mrs. Kendal"s neglect in not having inquired after her when the Admiral"s sister"s husband died, by the omission of inquiries at present; whereat Albinia laughed a feeble, overdone giggle, and observed that she believed Mrs. Osborn knew all that pa.s.sed in Willow Lawn better than the inmates; and Lucy deposed that Sophy and Loo were together every day, though Sophy knew mamma did not like it. Miss Meadows said if reparation were not made, the Osborns had expressed their intention of omitting Lucy and Sophy from their Twelfth-day party.
To this Albinia pettishly replied that the girls were to go to no Christmas parties without her; Miss Meadows had taken it very much to heart, and Lucy was declaiming against mamma making any condescension to Mrs. Osborn, or herself being supposed to care for "the Osborn"s parties," where the boys were so rude and vulgar, the girls so boisterous, and the dancing a mere romp. Sophy might like it, but she never did!
Miss Meadows was hurt by her niece"s defection, and had come to "Oh, very well," and "things were altered," and "people used to be grateful to old friends, but there were changes." And thereby Lucy grew personal as to the manners of the Osborns, while Albinia defended herself against the being grand or exclusive, but it was her duty to do what she thought right for the children! Yes, Miss Meadows was quite aware--only grandmamma was so nervous about poor dear Gibbie missing his Christmas dinner for the first time--being absent--Mrs. Ferrars would take great care, but damp stockings and all--
Winifred endeavoured to stem the tide of words, but in vain, between the meandering incoherency of the one, and the nervous rapidity of the other, and they had both set off again on this fresh score, when in despair she ran downstairs, rapped at the study door, and cried, "Mr.
Kendal, Mr. Kendal, will you not come! I can"t get Miss Meadows out of Albinia"s room."
Forth came Mr. Kendal, walked straight upstairs, and stood in full majesty on the threshold. Holding out his hand to Maria with grave courtesy, he thanked her for coming to see his wife, but at the same time handed her down, saw her out safely at the hall door, and Lucy into the drawing-room.
It was a pity that he had not returned to Albinia"s room, for she was too much excited to be composed without authority. First, she scolded Winifred; "it was the thing she most wished to avoid, that he should fancy her teased by anything the Meadowses could say," and she laughed, and protested she never was vexed, such absurdity did not hurt her in the least.
"It has tired you, though," said Winifred. "Lie quite down and sleep."
Of course, however, Albinia would not believe that she was tired, and began to talk of the Osborns and their party--she was annoyed at the being thought too fine. "If it were not such a penance, and if you would not be gone home, I really would ask you to take the girls, Winifred."
"I shall not be gone home."
"Yes, you will. I am well, and every one wants you."
"Did you not hear Willie"s complimentary message, that he is never naughty now, because Gilbert makes him so happy?"
"But, Winifred, the penny club! The people must have their things."
"They can wait, or--"
"It is very well for us to talk of waiting," cried Albinia, "but how should we like a frosty night without cloaks, or blankets, or fire? I did not think it of you, Winifred. It is the first winter I have been away from my poor old dames, and I did think you would have cared for them."
And thereupon her overwrought spirits gave way in a flood of tears, as she angrily averted her face from her sister, who could have cried too, not at the injustice, but with compa.s.sion and perplexity lest there should be an equally violent reaction either of remorse or of mirth.
It must be confessed that Albinia was very much the creature of health.
Never having been ill before, the depression had been so new that it broke her completely down; convalescence made her fractious.