Another pause, and then:
"You were very brave to come so far alone."
The beautiful, dark, inconsistently, un-English face was uplifted all at once, but the next moment it dropped with a sob of actual anguish.
"Oh, Miss Gower!" the girl cried. "Don"t blame me; please don"t blame me. There was no one else, and the telegram said he was dying."
"Hush," said Priscilla Gower, with an inexplicable softness in her tone.
"I don"t blame you; I should have done the same thing in your place."
"But you--" began Theo, faintly.
Priscilla stopped her before she had time to finish her sentence; stopped her with a cold, clear, steady voice.
"No," she said. "You are making a mistake."
What this brief speech meant, she did not explain; but she evidently had understood what Theodora was going to say, and had not wished to hear it.
But brief speech as it was, its brevity held a swift pang of new fear for Theo. She could not quite comprehend its exact meaning, but it struck a fresh dread to her heart. Could it be that she knew the truth, and was going to punish him? Could she be cruel enough to think of reproaching him at such an hour as this, when he lay at death"s door?
Some frantic idea of falling at her stern feet and pleading for him rushed into her mind. But the next moment, glancing up at the erect, motionless figure, she became dimly conscious of something that quieted her, she scarcely knew how.
The dim room was so quiet, too; there was so deep a stillness upon the whole place, it seemed that she gained a touch of courage for the instant. Priscilla was not looking at her now; her statuesque face was turned toward the wide expanse of landscape, fast dying out, as it were, in the twilight grayness. Theo"s eyes rested on her for a few minutes in a remorseful pity for, and a mute yearning toward this woman whom she had so bitterly, yet so unconsciously wronged. She would not wrong her more deeply still; the wrong should end just as she had thought it had ended, when Denis dropped her hand and left her standing alone before the fire that last night in Paris. This resolve rose up in her mind with a power so overwhelming, that it carried before it all the past of rebellion, and pain, and love. She would go away before he knew that she had been with him at all. She would herself be the means of bringing to pa.s.s the end she had only so short a time ago rebelled against so pa.s.sionately. He should think it was his promised wife who had been with him from the first. She would make Priscilla promise that it should be so. Having resolved this, her new courage--courage, though it was so full of desperate, heart-sick pain, helped her to ask a question bearing upon her thoughts. She touched the motionless figure with her hand.
"Did Pamela come here to bring me away?" she asked.
Priscilla Gower turned, half starting, as though from a reverie.
"What did you say?" she said.
"Did Pamela come to take me away from here?" Theo repeated.
"No," she said. "Do not be afraid of that."
Theo looked out of the window, straight over her folded arms. The answer had not been given unkindly, but she could not look at Priscilla Gower, in saying what she had to say.
"I am not afraid," she said. "I think it would be best; I must go back to Paris or to--to Downport, before Mr. Oglethorpe knows I have been here at all. You can take care of him now--and there is no need that he should know I ever came to St. Quentin. I dare say I was very unwise in coming as I did; but, I am afraid I would do the same thing again under the same circ.u.mstances. If you will be so kind as to let him think that--that it was you who came----"
Priscilla Gower interrupted her here, in the same manner, and with the same words, as she had interrupted her before.
"Hush!" she said. "You are making a mistake, again----"
She did not finish what she was saying. A hurried footstep upon the stairs stopped her; and as both turned toward the door, it was opened, and Pamela stood upon the threshold and faced them, looking at each in the breathless pause that followed.
"There has been a change," she said. "A change for the worse. I have sent for the doctor. You had better come down-stairs at once, Theodora, you have been here long enough to understand him better than we can."
And down together they went; and the first thing that met their eyes as they entered the sick-room, was Oglethorpe, sitting up in bed, with wild eyes, haggard and fever-mad, struggling with his attendants, who were trying to hold him down, and raving aloud in the old strain Theo had heard so often.
"Why, Theo, my beauty, there are tears in your eyes. Good-by! Yes!
Forgive me! Forget me, and good-by! For G.o.d"s sake, Priscilla, forgive me!"
CHAPTER IX.
WHAT COMES OF IT ALL.
The hardest professional trouble the shrivelled little French doctor had, perhaps, ever encountered, was the sight of the white, woe-stricken young face, turned up to his when Theodora North followed him out of the chamber upon the landing that night, and caught his arm in both her clinging hands.
"He will die now, doctor," she said, in an agonized whisper. "He will die now; I saw it in your face when you let his hand drop."
It would have been a hard-hearted individual who would have told the exact truth in the face of these beautiful, agonized eyes--and the little doctor was anything but hard of heart.
He patted the clinging hands quite affectionately, feeling in secret great apprehension, yet hiding his feelings admirably.
"My little mademoiselle," he said (the tall young creature at his side was almost regal, head and shoulders above him in height). "My dear little Mademoiselle Theodora, this will not do. If you give way, I shall give way too. You must help me--we must help each other, as we have been doing. It is you only who can save him--it is you he calls for. You must hope with me until some day when he awakes to know us, and then I shall show you to him, and say, "here is the beautiful young mademoiselle who saved you." And then we shall see, Miss Theodora--then we shall see what a charm those words will work."
But she did not seem to be comforted, as he expected she would be.
"No," she said. "The time will never come when you can say that to him.
If he is ever well enough to know me, I must go away, and no one must tell him I have been here."
Monsieur, the doctor, looked at her over his spectacles, sharply.
The pale face at once touched and suggested to him the outline of a little romance--and he had all a Frenchman"s sympathy for romance--monsieur, the doctor. It was _une grande pa.s.sion_, was it, and this tractable, beautiful young creature was going to make a sacrifice of all her hope of love, upon the altar of stern honor. But he made no comment, only patted her hand again.
"Well, well," he said. "We shall see, mademoiselle, we shall see. Only let us hope."
The days and nights of watching, in companionship with Priscilla Gower, were a heavy trial to Theo. Not that any unusual coldness in the handsome face was added to her troubles as an extra burden. Both Priscilla and Pamela were very mindful of her comfort--so very mindful that their undemonstrative care for her cut her to the heart, sometimes.
Yet, somehow, she felt herself as a stranger, without the right to watch with them. It was so terrible a thing to stand near the woman she had innocently injured, and listen with her to the impa.s.sioned adjurations of the lover who had been false, in spite of himself. It seemed his mind was always upon the one theme, and in his delirium his ravings wandered from Priscilla to Theo, and from Theo to Priscilla, in a misery that was not without its pathos. Sometimes it was that last night in Paris--and he went over his farewell, word for word; sometimes it was his wedding day--and he was frantically appealing to Priscilla for forgiveness, and remorsefully anathematizing himself.
They were both together in the room, one evening, when he was raving thus, when he suddenly paused for an instant and began to count slowly upon his fingers,
"January, February, March, April, May, June, July. My pretty Theo, what a mistake it was--only seven months, and then to have lost you. Good G.o.d, my darling!" and his voice became a low, agonized cry. "Good G.o.d, my darling! and I cannot give you up!"
Theo glanced up at Priscilla Gower, mute with misery for a moment. The erect, black-robed figure stood between herself and the fire, motionless, but the fixed face was so white that it forced a low cry from her. She could not bear it a second longer. She slipped upon her knees on the hearth rug, and caught the hem of the black dress in her hands, in a tumult of despair and remorse.
"He does not know what he is saying," she cried, breathlessly. "Oh, forgive him, forgive him! I will go away now, if you think I ought. He knows that you are better than I am. I will go away, and you will make him happy. Oh! I know you will make him happier than I ever could have done, even if he had really loved me as--as he only thought he did."
A moment before, Priscilla had been gazing into the fire in a deep reverie. But the pa.s.sionate voice stirred her. She looked down into the girl"s imploring eyes, without a shadow of resentment.
"Get up," she said, a trifle huskily. "You have done no wrong to me. Get up, Theodora, and look at me."
Unsteadily as she spoke, there was so strange a power in her voice that Theo obeyed her. Wonderingly, sadly and humbly she rose to her feet, and stood before Priscilla as before a judge.
"Will you believe what I say to you?" she asked.