There Was No Secret Organization To Fight With The World's Darkness So I Made One (In Exasperation)

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While eating oranges at the kotatsu and looking at memos going as far back as 3 days ago, I tried to a.s.sign an order of priority to them and to devise concrete realization measures, but I noticed that it was painful for one person alone. The main objectives are; making a secret organization and the enemy organization, have the members enjoy an extraordinary life, and having myself watch them and enjoy it as well. But in order to play the part of the "mysterious mastermind", I need to have some form of middle management, or there will be serious trouble.

If the boss wrapped in mystery frequently appears in front of members and does things like teaching strategy, taking part in discussions, and joining in on training, then he"s completely not mysterious anymore. There"s also things like purchasing equipment, inspecting and maintaining the secret organization"s facilities, and designing and ordering costumes. It is impossible for me to do all of it by myself. I need at least one person as an adjutant-like existence and for them to become a "cushion" between the boss and the general members. However, if I tell my adjutant the truth, they may become a match-pump1 . But there"s no point in having an adjutant unless I tell them. Because we have to share the work by having them partic.i.p.ate in member discussions while I work behind-the-scenes. An adjutant who knows the ident.i.ty of the boss wrapped in mystery … that"s cool, isn"t it?

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So I started searching for an a.s.sistant. The conditions are:

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#1: The conditions cannot be excluded. There"s no use inviting into the extraordinary a man who likes the ordinary and is satisfied with his present state of affairs. We would not be able to be happy with each other.

#2: The conditions are reasonable. These may be harsh words but, no matter how much enthusiasm they have, they cannot serve as an adjutant if they are not intelligent and competent. Kindly join as a general member if you are an enthusiastic muscle-brain.

#3: The conditions are tough. Establishing a secret society requires connections and money. Using brute force via psychokinesis is also a solution, but with money, you will gain influence.

#4: The conditions are worthy of being called extreme. Separately this does not have to be satisfied. At any rate, there"s an extremely low possibility of finding a rare pretty girl girl or beautiful woman that"s also in-line with the other conditions. And because this isn"t a light novel where all the characters that appear are bishoujos2, as one would expect, I"m not especially particular about this. So long as they satisfy #1-3, I could even get accustomed to having a bald and fat ojisan as a comrade. But it"s nice to dream.

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I can speak English as it is, so my a.s.sistant can be someone who speaks English. Since I"m planning to develop secret societies all over the world, it is not bad to invite overseas talent for my adjutant. Therefore, when looking for an a.s.sistant, the search range will be limited to high-cla.s.s residential areas in j.a.pan, the U.K, the U.S, and Canada. By using psychokinesis to sneak into their home, I can peek at their private life and determine if they are suitable for the position by watching them.

Although SNS is the home of bored people (prejudice), because the parameters are so big, it"s difficult to look for and extract the specific SNS address of a capable person who is bored of the everyday. And an intelligence leak because of something the adjutant posted on SNS is way too stupid.

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I"ll start with the places closest to me first. I"ll search by sending my psychokinesis out to the mansions and high cla.s.s residences in the metropolitan areas of: Kanagawa, Tokyo, Chiba, and Saitama. I could search more efficiently if I could split my consciousness via something like parallel thinking or an alter ego, but since I don"t have such skills, I"ll have to investigate by thoroughly searching one-by-one. Since there"s no law prohibiting psychokinetic trespa.s.sing, I"m still technically abiding by the law, but it"s undeniably a manners violation. I"m trying not to mind it because I can"t make a secret society if I care about such things.

*Ojamashimasu*3, I let myself in for a min. of one hour. Those who have no fiction novels, manga, or movie DVDs at home are out of the question. If there is anything, think about whether their hobby seems to fit from the lineup. If their lineup has things like cruel b.l.o.o.d.y fights, heartwarming isekai ‘journals"4, or is weirdly uniform, then it"s *sayonara*. If someone looks promising, I wait for them to return home and then observe their behavior. If it seems that they are enjoying their life as it is now, I leave them alone. I don"t plan to bring trouble to a happy guy. If they seem to have a bad personality, I also leave them alone. I don"t want an a.s.sistant/partner who will give me a stomach ache.

If they are possibly experiencing desires such as; "wanting to live in a different world" or something like "wishing a girl would fall from the sky", then I further observe them. I contact them with an invitation if I think they are a good fit and also fairly well-off.

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For about three weeks, I spent my days observing the lives of rich people, but I wasn"t able to find anyone capable. There were no interesting people who opposed reality, only those who were enjoying life and doing things such as art appreciation, eating out with friends, driving, and traveling. Surprisingly, most houses typically had manga and novels, but their lineups were normal. Though I was watching their every move, there were no signs of them trying to escape reality. Sometimes there were also rich people who were in debt or were tired of socializing, but they didn"t seem to be escaping into fantasy or the supernatural. As I thought, as long as you have money, it"s possible to live a fulfilling life…

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On the 25th day after I started exploring, I found an interesting person. It"s a woman named Kaburagi Shiori who lives in a mansion with a garden in a luxury residential area in Tokyo. Age is 23, excluding the servant who commutes, she lives alone, she apparently works from home on her personal computer, and it seems she earns money with stocks, virtual currency, and futures trading. Although that alone is unusual, that"s not what"s important, it"s from here that it gets amazing.

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First. The servant called her a "young lady"5. A young lady in contemporary j.a.pan! Are you serious? I thought that it was a nickname of a non-real ent.i.ty that was extinct until I actually heard it with psychokinesis. They shamelessly called her a "young lady". Amazing.

Second. She"s an undisputed beauty. I visited a lot of rich people"s houses, and while I saw a lot of rich women, I didn"t see someone as beautiful as Kaburagi Shiori. She"s the "cool" type, if she was wearing a ponytail and wielding a shinai6, she would really match the appearance of a "yamato nadeshiko"7. She would be more enough compet.i.tion for both the top idol and actress.

Third. She"s honest about receiving plastic surgery to become beautiful. Decorating her work desk are twenty-three photos, which are most likely photos of her taken on her birthday. Until she entered middle school, she had "pizza face" and her body looked like it was ploughed with a tractor8, but she completely changed in her third year of middle school. By the time she entered high school, she had developed a beautiful appearance and good proportions. It"s obvious that she got plastic surgery, but it"s also obvious that she dieted and exercised to the point of sweating blood.

Also, when I observed her, this was her daily life; she got up at six every morning to stretch and go running, did inner muscle training, showered, did her hair, skin care, make-up, and clothes selection, did gymnastics after lunch, used a parasol and sunscreen when going out, instructed her servant on the menu so meals contained balanced nutrition (she seems to have a nutritionist qualification), she goes to bed at ten, and makes active efforts every day so that she absolutely doesn"t fail to take care of her beauty and health. What"s amazing is that she doesn"t hide the amount of effort her beauty takes at all. From that stance, I should have also had ugly past photos of myself grandly decorating my work room when I was an employee. Even a man would want to conceal their past if it"s ugly. She has a mentality of steel. Awesome.

Fourth. Clothing. Kaburagi Shiori"s choice of western-styled clothing has no imperfections, it resembles what they say a beautiful woman should wear. By wearing a dress in a cla.s.sical style for everyday clothes, she look like someone you would only see in a painting from Medieval Europe. Let me ask again, is this what she"s really like? I was afraid of the possibility that she isn"t from here and may be a former inhabitant of a fantasy world; so in order to confirm her family register I successfully snuck into the government office (she was a proper j.a.panese person). There"s no way she"s a former fantasy world inhabitant. Also, she wears a kimono and geta9 when she goes out during the holidays. Wow. Even more amazing than the fact that she normally dresses stylishly is her terrifically good taste and courage. Incidentally, when running in the morning she wears a jersey in the usual way.

Fifth. Greed, ambition, and high intelligence. She works on her personal computer for 3 to 5 hours every day, the rest of the time, excluding beauty, is devoted to reading. Forty percent of that reading is in advanced specialized books. She also normally reads Western books, and it seems she pays a lot of money for a contract to freely read foreign articles. She might go see j.a.panese drama on Sat.u.r.days, or she might partic.i.p.ate in a private showing of the latest Hollywood movie on Sundays. She also attends lectures at Tokyo University (apparently she"s a graduate).

Sixth. Her "delusional chuuni" notes go above and beyond and are not something to be trifled with. Even though she"s 23 years-old, Kaburagi Shiori still writes delusional notes. However, the content is so technical that they"ve become academic notes. Such things as; "A Hypothesis on the Route of Infection in the Case of a Zombie Apocalypse", or things like; "Conjecture on a Method of Identifying the Source of Infection". Even things like; "The Probability of Surviving in the Case of Being Summoned to a Different World", or even; "A Study on the Effects of Changed Laws of Physics on the Body". Time travel and cold sleep, awakening ESP, there"s even also discussions on the existence of ancient civilizations; all of it suggests that she has a wealth of knowledge in a wide variety of topics, advanced logical thinking skills, and a pleasant disposition as well. I"m speechless.

Cla.s.sics only fill one-third of the study while there are two rooms for light novels and fantasy novels; her manga selection indicates her personal preferences. Based on the books she recently purchased, she"s currently into "villainesses".

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That"s the end of "six reasons why Kaburagi Shiori is awesome". Only on the first day of observation did I get excited by things like peeping on and seeing an intellectual beauty"s private life, but now that I"ve finished my one-week stakeout, only the feeling of respect remains. Kaburagi-san is incredible. I mean as far as an a.s.sistant, but of she wants to be the boss then that"s fine too. I can become the a.s.sistant. I decided to send her an invitation. I never thought that there was such a great talent. She is almost a story dweller.

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I plan to reveal the whole scheme to Kaburagi-san, including my psychokinesis, but first I want to try to surprise her a bit. While she"s working, I use psychokinesis to make her fountain pen stand up and write a note on her memo pad. The unexpected event causes her to freeze with her eyes wide open. I wrote on the memo pad:

"Please excuse this sudden use of psychokinesis. I"m Sago Kinemitsu. As you can see, I have superpowers. Right now, I wanted to contact Kaburagi-san to see if she desired to form a superpower secret organization with me. If you are interested in this please say so aloud, if you are I will write my contact information on this paper."

Having read the note, Kaburagi-san thought for a while, then gently disa.s.sembled the fountain pen. After disa.s.sembling it quickly and accurately with professional skill level, she looked around, then a.s.sembled it again while looking uneasy. She next checked the locks on the windows, and after that she took out a stepladder in order to investigate the ceiling. Each time she finished an investigation her cheeks flushed, and then she starting muttering, "No way. Really?".

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I remember that I also behaved like this. It"s the same as when I awakened to my psychokinesis. I also doubted as to whether a supernatural phenomenon had occurred, I had to make sure it wasn"t a trick or mother nature pulling a prank.

She"s being careful not to jump to the conclusion that it"s a supernatural phenomenon, but she also isn"t hiding her curiosity or expectations! That"s good.

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Before long she came to a conclusion, then Kaburagi-san nervously cleared her throat and said while facing the memo:

"I"m interested in speaking with Sago-san. Please inform me of your contact information."

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All right! I was 99% sure she wouldn"t refuse, but it"s a relief to hear her say it out loud. I delightedly write a new memo with my Sk〇pe address on it. Kaburagi-san looked at it and made a complicated expression.

"I would be calling your personal account, wouldn"t I?"

Ah… sorry for suddenly ruining the serious atmosphere. I"m sure secret organizations don"t issue invitations via Sk〇pe. Please forgive me. I have no money so I"m not able to set up call forwarding. I"m able to throw a letter into a window at a speed of Mach 10, but I probably shouldn"t do things like that since the shockwave would absolutely cause a huge accident.

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"However…"

Kaburagi-san seemed to immediately regroup, she put her hand on her mouth and smiled a beautiful smile.

"*Fufu*, This may prove to be fun."

Really?! *Hyuu*!

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Footnotes:

1: Made-in-j.a.pan English compound, meaning someone who causes trouble and then has to fix it ⇒

2: I"m a.s.suming the author is poking fun at the fact that pretty much all light novels have the MC surrounded by beautiful women. Also, am I allowed to take this as a promise that there won"t be a harem?

3: (おじゃまします) Lit. “Please allow me to intrude,” said before entering someone"s home ⇒

4: Probably referring to things like “” and other slice-of-life stories where even though the MC goes to a different world, they still live an ordinary, relaxing life.

5: The servant refers to her as “ojousama”. From what I can tell, it"s usually used for daughters of rich/influential families that have a long history.

6: Bamboo sword used in kendo ⇒ Wikipedia

7: Personification of the ‘ideal" j.a.panese woman ⇒ Image

8: (体型に耕運機で耕した) Lit. “her body was ploughed by a tractor”, a.s.suming this means she was skinny and had a flat chest.

9: Traditional j.a.panese clothing. Geta are a type of wooden sandal worn. ⇒ Traditional geta