Volume 1, Chapter 26.5: The [Corpse Lover Homicidal Maniac]"s confusion
TL: flarewk
[Corpse Lover Homicidal Maniac]"s confusion:
Where are you~
Where are you~
Where are you hiding, hmm~
You must properly hidee~
And not let me find onto youu~
If not I"ll kill youu~
"Hm~hmhm~hmhm~"
I hummed a melody, while walking amidst the pitch-black corridor, and used brisk paces to pursue that hasty footstep sounds echoing from the distance.
He"s running, I"m chasing, the gap bridging us wasn"t a layer of muslin cloth*, but the notion of living on instead.
I felt incomparably exhilarated, today"s possibly the most happiest day that I"ve lived to date.
Aaaaaa~ it"s really too perfect already~
Why would this feeling be so pleasant~
Even though I hadn"t obtained him yet, I"ve actually been so happy to the point of being inextricable, just like right now, having unfolded an escape-hunting game with him, which made me unbearably wanting to laugh.
This kind of grat.i.tude, it"s really been a long time since I"ve felt it already...........
Corpse, transcending over death, leading towards decomposition...........the changes from life to death, the link connecting life and death, the hollowed sh.e.l.l"s residual from dying.
The convergence of life and death, the true yin yang coordination, the extreme rebirth from filthiness to cleanliness.
When the young me witnessed a "huge amount of deaths", I didn"t feel any sort of fear or sorrowful feelings, but the moment I felt a slight trace of excitement within me, I then understood. That I had towards corpses, these kinds of "life"s residual states", an especially unique affection towards it.
But it"s not that every corpse could fit the bill, as I had my very own"s "aesthetics", being completely different from those group of perverts that had s.e.xual urges towards corpses.
Those group of cowardly people were merely failures from society, who had suffered many torments in reality"s living that caused them to obtain psychological distortions, those mere products. They were unable to control the world of the living, hence they turned to the world of the dead, as in front of dead people, they would become extremely powerful dictators. Corpses would have to submissively listen to their every whims, and won"t reject their requests nor mock at their incapabilities.
Ultimately, it"s merely just a bunch of lunatics, and most of them carried smelling disabilities, as they had feverishly strong interest into feces, blood; those kinds of filthy substances.
Absolutely disgusting.
But I, am different from those simple-minded corpse raping perverts that only wanted to obtain s.e.xual gratification from dead bodies. Because my "smell" was very sensitive, I could smell out each and everyone"s body"s unique scents.
But, maybe there"s an area where I"m the same with them...........in the fields of possessive obsessions and dominative urges.
Even though I had only just realized about him yesterday, I"m unable to move away my eyes from him today already.
Unable to sleep throughout the entire night, my entire thoughts were occupied by his figure.
Been thinking through the entire night, always thinking, still thinking even when my eyes were opened, still thinking even when my eyes were closed, even in the short duration of dreams, still thinking about him............
I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want.
I want to hug him within my arms!
"Huhuhu~"
Laughter escaped from the corner of my lips, and from my abdomen flowed out a series of warm liquids, as my consciousness became slightly tranced.
...........Perhaps I had become a little strange already, a strand of survived reasoning told me that simply.
I"m too overly mindful of An Jun Cheng"s things already.
My brain was abnormally excited; whenever I sighted Cheng Jun I"ll want to subconsciously approach him, and my gaze would always gather onto his body, observing every single action of his, utterly never feeling sick of it at all.
And afterwards seeing him getting troubled because of my matters every time, him becoming hesitant, him having a change in his expressions, I"ll be incomparably delighted~
Ai ya ya, won"t I be any different from Lan Hua that way at all?
Looks like I too am a hundred percent pervert as well (laugh).
Maybe this would be An Jun Cheng"s carried abnormality, it"ll make others subconsciously develop favorable impressions upon him.
What a sly ability indeed, mm?
It troubledly caused me to reveal the photograph that I was planning to use it out as a final resort, plus being unable to suppress my urges to eagerly a.s.sault him on the very first day.
Even though the time spent together were wholly three days" long, even though I could just enjoy it a little more...........
But it all doesn"t matter already.
Since it"s just only a matter of time, even if he doesn"t have that kind of ability that could make people attracted towards him, there definitely would have a day when I"ll be infatuated with him.
That"s why, I completely didn"t resist that sudden bout of favorable impression which appeared within my heart, but in contrast thoroughly accepted it and possessed it as my own"s.
It"s just that this ability would probably have an effect on other people too, let"s not first discuss about Lan Hua, perhaps Jiang Xue Qing had already been affected by a certain degree of it.
I completely didn"t expect that she, a person who would be unconcerned about any sort of thing at all, would actually proactively be in arms with Cheng Jun.
That"s why, before anyone else were to be allured by him, I must make him mine!
The uncontrollable killing urge within me had already been broiling to maturity within my heart, and right now, what I wanted to do was to just find him, find that person who made me incomparably linger for, and afterwards forever keeping him by my side.
Cheng Jun is my object, he"s an object that only belongs to me!
Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta............
The footsteps sounds...........I can"t hear them anymore.
I seee~, it"s like that huh, he had calmed down already.
"Cheng Jun~ where are youu~ why must you hide from mee?"
No response, it"s within my expectations.
Should I say that it"s as expected as of Cheng Jun? Immediately calming down and making the most correct decision, properly hiding at a certain location, huh.
"Cheng Jun~ hurry up and come outt~ I won"t do anything to youu~"
My mouth kept saying out words that wavered him, as I persistently walked around, giving him pressure onto his mental const.i.tute.
Perhaps he already felt that he had hidden himself quite covertly already, right............a pity, I"ve already remembered your scent, hmm?
"Cheng Jun~ you"re in here, right? I can already smell your "scent", mm?"
I followed this scent, its just like a predator who was being attracted by the fragrance of delicious food, pa.s.sing through the long corridors in a dream-like trance and reaching the science departmental building"s 4th floor, stopping in front of the left-sided men"s washroom.
Nnn hm? He really liked to hide inside the washroom.
"I, found, you, already."
I arrived right in front of the second last cubicle, and I dare to bet, that Cheng Jun was right within this cubicle.
With this level of lock, it would be able to be broken easily, but I wanted to frighten him a little.
I used about thirty percent of my strength and shook the door handle.
Ka-chah, ka-chah ka-chah, ka-chah ka-chah ka-chah ka-chah ka-chah ka-chah ka-chah........Pang.
Ai ya, I"ve accidentally broken it, teeheee~
Gently pushing open the door, I didn"t sight upon Cheng Jun"s figure at all.
Right now, he must have been like a mouse, crouching behind the door and praying not to be discovered by me.
Sooo cute~
Wasn"t this making meee arise out thoughts of wanting to make fun of you awhileee~
After desperately enduring my laughter, I calmed down my feelings, and used an extremely factual acting skills to feign out a look of an unexpected expression.
"Ara? He"s actually not here.........."
Just like that, after standing on my current position for 10 seconds later, I gently left, but didn"t directly walk away, instead entering the first cubicle that was left unlocked, and tapped my feet on the spot to imitate footsteps sounds of walking further and further away.
I decided to ambush him here.
After a little while, perhaps Cheng Jun thought that he was safe already, as he silenced his footsteps and secretly walked out of the washroom.
The moment he was about to go past the first cubicle, I immediately pounced forward.
"Uwaah!"
Cheng Jun loudly screamed, as he was being pressed onto the floor by me.
Huhu, it"s such a cute reaction~.
"You"re too careless~, Cheng Jun, did you actually think that I had actually left? Hehee. In fact, I already knew that Cheng Jun was hiding in the third cubicle~, but I wanted to give you a surprise, so I acted like I couldn"t find you at alll~~"
I originally thought that he would be in a state of panic, but I didn"t expect him to be rather composed instead. His eyes were glinting with vibrancy, not revealing out even a bit of fear that he"s about to be killed.
"Umm, my name is An Jun Cheng, can you not p.r.o.nounce my name in reverse already?"
"Ara, I just love this point about Cheng Jun~ Even though you know what"s going to happen next, you"re still so calm~......huhu, I"ve really liked you more and more alreadyy, alright? Cheng Jun~"
Kyaaa, kyaaaa, kyaaaaaaa~
Why was this person so unbearingly cute? It really made me unresistingly wanting to give him a kiss~.
"Aaaahhh, Cheng Jun, this is my lifetime request........"
I clasped my both hands" fingers and held them before my chest, not in a stance of praying, but to make a solemn vow.
If there could be a way that would make someone forever belong to me, that would be..........
By me, completely killing him.
By me, bearing his death.
By me, receiving his life.
By me, possessing his body.
By me, accepting everything of him!
I"m about to give my first kill towards him, in exchange for the start of his death, to never be apart from him again.
"I"m begging you! Please die!"
I sat cross-leggedly onto his body, and stretched out both hands to caress his neck.
Cheng Jun immediately flung out both hands to grab my hand, all four hands" fingers tightly clasping against one another, it"s just like how couples held hands with each other.
Speaking of which, although it"s only a falsified relationship, but I"m still considered to be Cheng Jun"s girlfriend too.
I hadn"t even went on a date before with Cheng Jun, plus we were also interrupted by others during the intimacy this afternoon...........I somehow just felt a little regretful.
Eyy? Regretful?
I"m feeling regretful about his impending death?
My thoughts were being broken by an opposing force, as Cheng Jun gritted his teeth, exerting his utmost to support up his both arms wanting to shove me off.
So heartbroken..........
Why?
My heart"s really aching...........
Why?
"Why........why? Cheng Jun? Why did you, stop me?"
".........Cough.........this, I think anyone who"s about to be strangled like this would retaliate in return no matter too......"
I seee.........so your thoughts were like that..........
True, this was a normal person"s reaction as well...........
...........I don"t want!
I want Cheng Jun to be able to understand me, I want him to be able to happily accept the death that I granted him, I want him to be able to willingly embrace himself onto becoming my corpse!
Tears started to well within my eyes, and my voice started to become agitated.
"That"s because I liked you, and loved you! Why do you.......not understand me?"
"You only liked my corpse, right!!"
This words were like a heart-piercing arrow which went right through my chest, and made me utterly choked speechless.
No, no it"s not!
It"s not that I only liked your corpse!!
............Eyy? It"s not?
Then what exactly do I..........
Confusion...........
Lastly, it"s my instinctive possessive urges that occupied the higher ends of my mentality, as it held firm control of my following actions.
"Cheng Jun..........I"ll love you properly, and will hug you everyday to sleep, I will everyday join my body with yours, I"ll continue loving you all the way till you only had bones left.........so, please! Be forever with me together!"
"..........If..........the condition of it.........wasn"t death at all........then I think I"ll be very glad to accept it.........."
I gradually increased my strength, and started to ignore Cheng Jun"s feelings, only wanting to kill him, kill him, kill him and get him!
No!
I can"t kill him!
I don"t want a reactionless, untalking Cheng Jun!
In that sudden spout of developed resisting mentality, I actually let go of his left hand! Luckily, I instantly regained back my senses, as I hastily used both of my hands to grab his hand back and pulled him towards me.
That"s righttt~ just hug him directly like that, and rub my face all around against on his chest~
Uuu!
What was that.........
My infatuation feelings for Cheng Jun had already become uncontrollable already?
What I thirsted for was his death, his corpse, by right! I wanted to give him my virgin kill, by right!
Maybe it"s that abnormal persistence onto corpses of mine which came into effect, as I successfully compressed that strange feelings within, and used a triangular strangulation stance to lock his head firmly.
What"s next was to just increase my strength, and Cheng Jun would be fated dead, and turn into my most precious collection!
"Aaaah........Nnngh........don"t move arounddd, Cheng Jun, it"ll end right away......."
Kyaaaaa, it"s so embarra.s.sing!
I"ve actually let Cheng Jun"s face be buried at that sort of place..........Uuuu...........
How could that sort of place of a girl"s just be so casually letting people to touch it...........
Huhhh? What"s with this sudden feeling of shame? Uuu, my face was burning up, my abdomen felt quite hot, what"s that feeling spreading about within my crotch?
It"s a little damp...........which made me uncontrollably clutch my both thighs together.
"Gyaaahhhhhhhhhh!"
Kyaa, Oh c.r.a.p! Cheng Jun"s head still was being clasped by me!
No, don"t die!! I still wanted to go on a date with you tomorrow!
............Huh?
Date?
Why did I had that sort of thinking............
I...........What am I exactly..........
I wanted to kill him, right?
Why was it a question instead?
Daze..........
I suddenly lost all the strength that I had, letting go of my tightly clutched legs, and retreated backwards with my b.u.t.t dragging onto the floor.
Cheng Jun who was lying on the ground didn"t move an inch, being extremely silent, as he had his consciousness completely lost.
"Cheng, Cheng Jun?"
Feelings of anxiety and eagerness were mixed together, which made me stretch out my hand to confirm onto his status of alive or deceased.
No breathing...........
His heart wasn"t jumping any more...........
He"s dead already...........
Dead...........
Became a corpse already.
Suddenly, the inner contents of my heart were being encompa.s.sed by a gigantic feeling of terror.
When I realized what kind of effects it would cause to me upon losing that person, An Jun Cheng; I thoroughly regretted it.
Intense feelings a.s.saulted me like Mt. Tai having its internal pressure imploding, my blood had almost solidly froze up, my breathing almost about to halt, and there"s seemingly a sharp blade piercing into my heart, as my inner organs all ruptured!
"Noo! Don"t die!!"
My tears dripped downwards as I started to sob chokingly. I didn"t even bother to wipe off rough tears that had flowed to my lips.
"Please! Don"t die!! Please stay by my side!"
Forcefully compressing onto his heart, I sent in air within his mouth, exerting my very best to recover back his life, pulling back his spirit!
"Cough..........."
I did it!
He"s alive!
Alive!
He"s not a corpse anymore...........
A huge sensation of delight hadn"t even persisted for a few seconds, before feelings of disappointment started to naturally form within my heart.
I seemed to have done such an extremely foolish thing.
...........Aaahh, so it"s like that...........
I didn"t think that my infatuation towards An Jun Cheng would have already insanely turn into this sort of level already, huh?
Huhuhuhu...........I"m really, foolish to the core, huh.
Then which side should I exactly choose?
"..........."
No matter which side it was, I couldn"t abandon it at all.
An att.i.tude of unhesitancy, along with unequal politeness of emotions, made my mental const.i.tute which was supposed to be spilt apart be mixed together, forming into an incomparably contradictory form of myself.
I only knew, that this person was extremely important to me. Be it life or death, no matter if it"s a corpse or the living, I had already been unable to be spilt apart, away from him.
In the midst of the chaotic confusion, a deformed love started to bloom out its icy snow flowers.
-ch 26.5 end-
(3963 words to tl)
TL: Hi all, BabyDalyn from discord had drawn out a fanart ill.u.s.tration of Chapter 2 of TDG (When MC came home late and Xin Ran caught him). It will be uploaded on chapter 2 itself, remember to go take a sneak peek of it!
~
Footnotes:
the gap bridging us wasn"t a layer of muslin cloth = this is in reference to some famous CN love song, singing about the lament of the distance of two lovers between each other.
the extreme rebirth from filthiness to cleanliness = i"m sure this is a reference to those cultivation novels, where the MC would "peel" off a layer of dirt from his body, reborning himself to be more powerful. Aka detoxification process.
b.u.t.t = I used backside previously, but I"m gonna change it to "b.u.t.t" to make it uh, more, idk, it sounds better for me >:3
Glossary:
Cheng Jun = FYI, the name was reversed purposefully if you forgot........
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