Three Dramas

Chapter 63

The King. Is the Princess suffering from indigestion too?

The General (confidentially). I fancy your Majesty knows best what the Princess is suffering from. (The KING moves away from him.) I made a mess of that! It comes of my trying to be too clever.--He is walking towards her. Perhaps there is something in it, after all? I must tell Falbe about it. (Turns to go.) Confound it, he saw that I was watching them! (Goes out. The KING returns to the arbour with the PRINCESS on his arm. The COUNTESS and one of the royal servants are seen crossing the park in the background.)

The Princess. This is a most surprising meeting! When did your Majesty return?

The King. Last night.--You look very charming, Princess! Such blushing cheeks!--and so early in the morning!

The Princess. I suppose you think it is rouge?--No, Sir, it is nothing but pleasure at meeting you.

The King. Flatterer! And I went pale at the sight of you.

The Princess. Perhaps your conscience--?

The King. I am sorry to say my conscience had nothing to do with it. But this morning I have been meeting so many people that are suffering from indigestion that, when I saw your Highness walking quickly along--

The Princess. Make your mind easy! My reason for my morning walk is to keep my fat down. Later in the day I ride--for the same reason. I live for nothing else now.

The King. It is a sacred vocation!

The Princess. Because it is a royal one?

The King. Do you attribute your sanct.i.ty to me? Wicked Princess!

The Princess. Both my sanct.i.ty and any good fortune I enjoy. It is nothing but my relationship to your Majesty that induces the tradespeople to give me unlimited credit.

The King. You don"t feel any awkwardness about it, then?

The Princess. Not a bit! The good folk have to maintain many worse parasites than me!--By the way, talking of parasites, is it true that you have pensioned off all your lords-in-waiting and their hangers-on?

The King. Yes.

The Princess. Ha, ha, ha! But why did you make the special stipulation that they should live in Switzerland?

The King. Because there is no court in Switzerland, and--

The Princess. And so they could not fall into temptation again! I have had many a good laugh at the thought of it. But it has its serious side too, you know; because your Majesty cannot dispense with a court.

The King. Why not?

The Princess. Well, suppose some day you are "joined in the bonds of holy matrimony," as the parsons so beautifully put it?

The King. If I were, it would be for the sake of knowing what family life is.

The Princess. Like any other citizen?

The King. Precisely.

The Princess. Are you going to keep no servants?

The King. As many as are necessary--but no more.

The Princess. Then I must secure a place as chambermaid in your Majesty"s household as soon as possible. Because if my financial circ.u.mstances are inquired into there will be nothing else left for me but that!

The King. You have too sacred a vocation for that, Princess!

The Princess. How pretty! Your Majesty is a poet, and poets are allowed to be enthusiastic about ideals. But the people are poets too, in their way; they like their figure-head to be well gilded, and don"t mind paying for it. That is their poetry.

The King. Are you certain of that?

The Princess. Absolutely certain! It is a point of honour with them.

The King. Then I have to weigh my honour against theirs! And my honour forbids me--for the honour of my people and their poetry--to keep up my palaces, my guards, and my court any longer! _Voila tout_!

The Princess. My dear King, certain positions carry with them certain duties!

The King. Then I know higher duties than those!--But, Princess, here are we two seriously discussing--

The Princess. Yes, but there is something at the bottom of it that is not to be laughed away. All tradition and all experience proclaim it to be the truth that a king--the kingly majesty--should be a dignity apart; and should be the ultimate source of law, surrounded with pomp and circ.u.mstance, and secure behind the fortified walls of wealth, rank, and hereditary n.o.bility. If he steps out of that magic circle, the law"s authority is weakened.

The King. Has your Royal Highness breakfasted yet?

The Princess. No. (Bursts out laughing.)

The King. Because, if you had, I should have had great pleasure is giving you a lesson in history; but on an empty stomach that would be cruel.

The Princess. Do you know--you used to be such an entertaining king, but this last year you have become so tedious!

The King. Most beautiful of princesses! Do you really mean to say that I rise and fall in your estimation according as I have my pretty royal gew-gaws on or not?

The Princess. In my estimation?

The King. Or in any one"s? You know the story of "The Emperor"s New Clothes"?

The Princess. Yes.

The King. We don"t keep up that pretence any longer.

The Princess. But will every one understand?

The King. You understand, don"t you?

The Princess. The people or I--that is all the same, I suppose! You are very flattering.

The King. Heaven forbid that I should lump your Royal Highness together with the common herd; but--

The Princess. We have already had proof of the fact that your Majesty does not hold the same place in _every one"s_ estimation that you do in mine, at all events!

The King. If I occupy a place of honour in your Royal Highness"s heart, your Royal Highness may be certain that--

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