Whilst at St. Dunstan"s, I was, for some reason or other, given the job on quite a few occasions of meeting men who were feeling rather harder than was thought necessary the darkness that enveloped them. If a man came in feeling that there was nothing in life for him now that he was blind, I was given the task of cheering him up and showing him, if I could--and I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did not often fail--that this old world was not such a bad place, even if one"s lights were put out. One case stands out with prominence, and when I look back at the results of my work after twelve months have pa.s.sed, it is not without a measure of pride.
One Sat.u.r.day afternoon, a young Canadian came to the Bungalow. He was talked to by both the Adjutant and the Matron, who did all in their power to "buck" him up. They failed hopelessly, as the "kid" felt too far gone; he just would not try to look at the bright side of life. Then some one suggested that he be brought over to "Rawly." When we met, I began our conversation with: "Well, kid, how are things?" He snapped back: "For G.o.d"s sake, another preacher!" It was somewhat of a staggerer, but I had been through it all myself, and understood the boy"s feelings perfectly. In the darkness that sealed his eyes he was forced to grope his way about stumblingly, usually with the help of a guide. He had not yet gained confidence in his own powers. I straightway determined to inspire him with that confidence.
In the first days of my sojourn at St. Dunstan"s, I, for a time, felt that never again should I be able to step out into the world except with halting step and a horror of what might happen. The management of the inst.i.tution had constructed an elaborate system of gravel paths, along which were wooden palings which would prevent the students losing their way. A k.n.o.b in these palings told of a turning; a plank served to warn that we were approaching steps or a steep incline. In the work-rooms and through out the entire buildings, strips of carpet served as a guide to the feet. But it took time to gain confidence even with these aids; and then they were confined to the buildings and grounds. Confidence would only come when one was able to navigate his way alone through busy thoroughfares. Shortly after entering St. Dunstan"s I determined to venture out alone. A guide accompanied me on my outward journey, but I dismissed him and determined to find my way back without help. I cautiously kept to the outside of the walk, using my stick as a guide, but I had not calculated on obstructing posts; b.u.mp I went into one, but nothing daunted, I kept on. I was about to test the hardness of another with my head when a sympathetic soul seized me by the arm and saved me just in time. I asked him to direct me to the wall bordering the walk.
He did so; but I had not taken into consideration the fact that there were stores with goods out for display in front of them. I was first made aware of this by hitting a somewhat flimsily-constructed fruit stand. At this moment a motorcycle a few feet away back-fired viciously.
It sounded like the explosion of a sh.e.l.l. Vimy and its horrors came back on the instant, and I involuntarily ducked for safety, or, rather, sprawled forward at full length. Down came the fruit stand, and there I lay among apples, oranges, and bananas. Kindly hands helped me to my feet, and set me on my way. My first experience of solitary walking out had been a rough one, and for a time I felt beaten, and had very much the att.i.tude of this boy towards the future. But my experiences would help him. I had conquered in time, and could journey about freely without even the aid of a stick. I would not let him know that I was "black" blind, but I would take him out with me and show him what the blind could do unaided if they would only bring into play their latent powers.
We chatted for a time about the war, and the prospect of his return to Canada and his friends. He gradually thawed out, and took me in a measure into his confidence. But he was still in the depths, and continually referred to his deplorable lot. There was, he said, nothing in this world for him now, and he added pathetically: "I"m only twenty years old; I have seen practically nothing, and as both my eyes are out, I never shall be able to enjoy life and nature. I wish I had got the full issue instead of half of it; I should have been a lot better off."
Now, there is an unfailing means to get on the good side of any one who has spent any time in "Blighty," and that is to suggest tea. So I asked him if he would not like a cup and some cake: I knew, I said, a nice tea-room where we could get a good cup.
"Yes," he replied, "I should enjoy something to drink; but who will take me to your tea-room?"
"Come with me," I said; "I will be your pilot."
So away we toddled out of the Bungalow and down the rails which run round the Outer Circle, right through Clarence Gate, down Upper Baker Street, past the Tube, and across the road to Gentle"s. Well, we had the tea; and companionship and the refreshments seemed to cheer up the lad.
At any rate, he began to talk about things they told him he could learn at St. Dunstan"s; and I seized the opportunity to say: "Well, things are not quite as bad as they seemed at first, eh? You see we got down here all right." This was in answer to his saying that one would always be compelled to depend on a guide in his ramblings.
"Yes," he replied, "we got here all right, but you can see some. It"s easy for you guys to talk about getting around by yourselves when you can see, be it never so dimly; but remember that I have both my eyes out."
This was what I had been working for and waiting for all afternoon. I wanted him to think that I could see; my turn would come sooner or later, and my answer to him would make him buck up if anything could.
"Eh, old boy," I said, with a degree of exultation; "I am as "black"
blind as you are. I have one eye, it is true, but it is na-poo, finis, just as much as your"s are."
"Do you really mean that, Jim?" he asked.
"I certainly do; and you just fell into the bear-pit I had ready for you."
"Well, let me tell you," he said, with stern determination, "if you have done this, here"s another boy who can do likewise."
That boy returned to Canada with a full knowledge of poultry-breeding and egg-producing, basket-making, rough carpentry, and all kinds of string work, such as hammock and net weaving. He became one of the brightest and happiest students in St. Dunstan"s, and, incidentally, I might mention that that same lad, who felt himself down and out for all time, developed into one of the best dancers that ever put foot in slipper.
[Ill.u.s.tration: Basket Making]
Another lad--an Australian, this time--wanted to go over the House. I acted as his pilot, and on our way back to the Bungalow he asked me how much I could see. I told him, "nothing." He answered: "Say, Digger, I"ve been taking some chances, haven"t I? But this I will tell you, the next time I want to come over here I am going to find the way myself."
All that those boys needed was to realize that others who were handicapped as they were could work and move about on their own initiative, and they would be quick to follow their example. Confidence is infectious; it pa.s.ses from one individual to another. Above all, it is the absolute foundation for success in a man who cannot see--or, for that part of it, in any man.
I have said sufficient to show that the man from whom the external world is suddenly shut out is still able to "carry on." For my own part, I have returned to Canada, and am busy in useful employment, working among comrades similarly situated with myself. Three years ago, had any one told me that a blind man could qualify as a stenographer I should have ridiculed the idea. But I am now able to take dictation in Braille shorthand at the rate of one hundred and twenty words per minute and then transcribe my notes on any typewriting machine on the market just as speedily as the ordinary sighted typist. And I never operated a typewriting machine before I became a student at St. Dunstan"s.
As I said, I am back in Canada, and not getting my living through charity. What I am I owe to St. Dunstan"s, and while labouring here my heart ever goes back to dear old England. I feel towards St.
Dunstan"s--and so do all the boys who have pa.s.sed through her halls--as does the grown man for the place of his birth. She is home for me. I was born again and nurtured into a new manhood by her, led by her from stygian darkness to mental and spiritual light, and my heart turns with longing towards her. At times, separation from the genial atmosphere of this paradise of the sightless, from contact with the dominating, kindly presence of Sir Arthur Pearson and his n.o.ble a.s.sistants, weighs heavily upon my spirits. But there is work to be done here in Canada, and, in a humble way, I am able to continue the good work done at St. Dunstan"s; if not in a militant way, at least by example, taking my place among the producers, toiling daily with hands and brain.