For the sake of the leech did I lie here by this swamp, like a fisher, and already had mine outstretched arm been bitten ten times, when there biteth a still finer leech at my blood, Zarathustra himself!
O happiness! O miracle! Praised be this day which enticed me into the swamp! Praised be the best, the livest cupping-gla.s.s, that at present liveth; praised be the great conscience-leech Zarathustra!"--
Thus spake the trodden one, and Zarathustra rejoiced at his words and their refined reverential style. "Who art thou?" asked he, and gave him his hand, "there is much to clear up and elucidate between us, but already methinketh pure clear day is dawning."
"I am THE SPIRITUALLY CONSCIENTIOUS ONE," answered he who was asked, "and in matters of the spirit it is difficult for any one to take it more rigorously, more restrictedly, and more severely than I, except him from whom I learnt it, Zarathustra himself.
Better know nothing than half-know many things! Better be a fool on one"s own account, than a sage on other people"s approbation! I--go to the basis:
--What matter if it be great or small? If it be called swamp or sky?
A handbreadth of basis is enough for me, if it be actually basis and ground!
--A handbreadth of basis: thereon can one stand. In the true knowing-knowledge there is nothing great and nothing small."
"Then thou art perhaps an expert on the leech?" asked Zarathustra; "and thou investigatest the leech to its ultimate basis, thou conscientious one?"
"O Zarathustra," answered the trodden one, "that would be something immense; how could I presume to do so!
That, however, of which I am master and knower, is the BRAIN of the leech:--that is MY world!
And it is also a world! Forgive it, however, that my pride here findeth expression, for here I have not mine equal. Therefore said I: "here am I at home."
How long have I investigated this one thing, the brain of the leech, so that here the slippery truth might no longer slip from me! Here is MY domain!
--For the sake of this did I cast everything else aside, for the sake of this did everything else become indifferent to me; and close beside my knowledge lieth my black ignorance.
My spiritual conscience requireth from me that it should be so--that I should know one thing, and not know all else: they are a loathing unto me, all the semi-spiritual, all the hazy, hovering, and visionary.
Where mine honesty ceaseth, there am I blind, and want also to be blind.
Where I want to know, however, there want I also to be honest--namely, severe, rigorous, restricted, cruel and inexorable.
Because THOU once saidest, O Zarathustra: "Spirit is life which itself cutteth into life";--that led and allured me to thy doctrine. And verily, with mine own blood have I increased mine own knowledge!"
--"As the evidence indicateth," broke in Zarathustra; for still was the blood flowing down on the naked arm of the conscientious one. For there had ten leeches bitten into it.
"O thou strange fellow, how much doth this very evidence teach me--namely, thou thyself! And not all, perhaps, might I pour into thy rigorous ear!
Well then! We part here! But I would fain find thee again. Up thither is the way to my cave: to-night shalt thou there be my welcome guest!
Fain would I also make amends to thy body for Zarathustra treading upon thee with his feet: I think about that. Just now, however, a cry of distress calleth me hastily away from thee."
Thus spake Zarathustra.
LXV. THE MAGICIAN.
1.
When however Zarathustra had gone round a rock, then saw he on the same path, not far below him, a man who threw his limbs about like a maniac, and at last tumbled to the ground on his belly. "Halt!" said then Zarathustra to his heart, "he there must surely be the higher man, from him came that dreadful cry of distress,--I will see if I can help him."
When, however, he ran to the spot where the man lay on the ground, he found a trembling old man, with fixed eyes; and in spite of all Zarathustra"s efforts to lift him and set him again on his feet, it was all in vain. The unfortunate one, also, did not seem to notice that some one was beside him; on the contrary, he continually looked around with moving gestures, like one forsaken and isolated from all the world.
At last, however, after much trembling, and convulsion, and curling-himself-up, he began to lament thus:
Who warm"th me, who lov"th me still?
Give ardent fingers!
Give heartening charcoal-warmers!
p.r.o.ne, outstretched, trembling, Like him, half dead and cold, whose feet one warm"th-- And shaken, ah! by unfamiliar fevers, Shivering with sharpened, icy-cold frost-arrows, By thee pursued, my fancy!
Ineffable! Recondite! Sore-frightening!
Thou huntsman "hind the cloud-banks!
Now lightning-struck by thee, Thou mocking eye that me in darkness watcheth: --Thus do I lie, Bend myself, twist myself, convulsed With all eternal torture, And smitten By thee, cruellest huntsman, Thou unfamiliar--G.o.d...
Smite deeper!
Smite yet once more!
Pierce through and rend my heart!
What mean"th this torture With dull, indented arrows?
Why look"st thou hither, Of human pain not weary, With mischief-loving, G.o.dly flash-glances?
Not murder wilt thou, But torture, torture?
For why--ME torture, Thou mischief-loving, unfamiliar G.o.d?--
Ha! Ha!
Thou stealest nigh In midnight"s gloomy hour?...
What wilt thou?
Speak!
Thou crowdst me, pressest-- Ha! now far too closely!
Thou hearst me breathing, Thou o"erhearst my heart, Thou ever jealous one!
--Of what, pray, ever jealous?
Off! Off!
For why the ladder?
Wouldst thou GET IN?
To heart in-clamber?
To mine own secretest Conceptions in-clamber?
Shameless one! Thou unknown one!--Thief!
What seekst thou by thy stealing?
What seekst thou by thy hearkening?
What seekst thou by thy torturing?
Thou torturer!
Thou--hangman-G.o.d!
Or shall I, as the mastiffs do, Roll me before thee?
And cringing, enraptured, frantical, My tail friendly--waggle!
In vain!
Goad further!
Cruellest goader!
No dog--thy game just am I, Cruellest huntsman!
Thy proudest of captives, Thou robber "hind the cloud-banks...
Speak finally!
Thou lightning-veiled one! Thou unknown one! Speak!