When Hsiao-Liu came around later, he looked calmer. Perhaps the cold wind and the laps around the neighbourhood did him good. He plopped down in a chair and jumped straight in. “Ch’in Ching, please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was.”
“It was….” Ch’in Ching mumbled his answer. He knew his friend was here for an explanation.“Alright, I didn’t do my job right.” The shorter man sprung up from his seat and began pacing around the room. “I guess there’s no way to redeem myself than to kill myself before your parents’ graves!”Ch’in Ching’s face paled at this exclamation. He knew very well that he was letting down his parents by being involved with a man, and Hsiao-Liu went straight for the kill and let the skeleton out of the closet.But Hsiao-Liu was like his mother, a soft, kind spirit under a tough sh.e.l.l. After a long silence, he turned to find his friend sitting on the bed with a dazed expression, and he immediately thought his words had been too harsh. He sat down beside his friend and tried to explain. “I wasn’t…I didn’t….” He heaved a sigh. “G.o.ddammit!”“I’m sorry.”“Why are you sayin’ sorry to me?!” This apology made Hsiao-Liu furious once more. He grabbed his friend’s arm and fired a string of questions. “You tell me, what is this thing you have going on here? What is it? Can there be a future? Are you stupid? He’s got everything he’d want. He’s just playin’ a game with you! Is this how you treat yourself?”Ch’in Ching stayed quiet. There was one thing that he couldn’t say to Shen Liangsheng but he ended up spilling it to Hsiao-Liu.His gaze lingered on the cold winter sunlight that had crept up his canvas shoes. It was glittering gold but was not very warm. And he said it for the first time. “I like him.”“But….” Hsiao-Liu could barely get a sentence to form in his frustration. “Like that means a s.h.i.t!” Ch’in Ching refused to speak and the two fell silent. As Hsiao-Liu sat panting, it dawned on him that he had no chance against the stubborn mule that was his friend.Must he threaten him with their friendship? But he couldn’t bear doing that to his friend. He could feel his temple pounding from the dilemma.“Ch’in Ching….” With a frown, Hsiao-Liu sighed, and with nothing else to say, he made a crack at a joke. “What can I say? I got three sisters, and my ma’s always hoping that our families could become even closer. She’d never have thought she’d lose her future son-in-law and have to marry off her G.o.dson, too.”“Don’t you dare tell your mom.”“O’course not. Don’t need you telling me that.”“Save it. You’ve never been a good liar.”“Why would I need to lie to the old lady? I’ll just not bring this up.”“Just worried about that big mouth of yours.”“Shut your trap.”Before long, the usual atmosphere between the two friends came back. Hsiao-Liu glanced up at the clock and gave his friend a jerk. “Hurry up and come home with me. The old lady got up early to make k’oujou. See, that’s why she couldn’t wait ‘til dinner and wanted you over for lunch.”“Never had lunch with you on New Year’s Day before though….” Ch’in Ching murmured. Shen Liangsheng had only stayed over at his place once, just this once, but they just had to get walked in on. His cheeks finally flushed crimson from the delayed embarra.s.sment.“Jesus, can you please wear something with a taller collar?” Hsiao-Liu couldn’t help but chide him after noticing the marks on the man’s neck.A blushing Ch’in Ching went searching for clothes beside the wardrobe. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror, he couldn’t help recall the reckless affair that took place before the mirror last night. He quickly averted his gaze while wishing he could drag Shen Liangsheng back and take out his embarra.s.sment on him by taking a bite or two.After he got changed, the two headed out. Hsiao-Liu stood behind his friend as he locked the gates.“Say,” the shorter man suddenly spoke, “He hasn’t bullied you, has he?”“Huh?” Ch’in Ching somewhat regained his composure as he clapped the lock shut. His tone returned to its usual playfulness. “What do you mean? I’m the bully.”“You?” Hsiao-Liu rolled his eyes. It was blatant that the young master wasn’t a kind soul, so he still reminded. “If he dare hurt you–”“You’ll throw bricks at his window.” Ch’in Ching finished the sentence for him as they shared a smile. They both thought back to their childhood, how Hsiao-Liu would always stick up for the other boy if some stupid a.s.shole bullied him, despite Hsiao-Liu being younger by a few months. The younger boy would chuck old bricks at the gla.s.s or paper on the bully’s window. They were busted a few times and got chased around the yard by Mrs. Liu with a broomstick.They got into trouble together, got punished together, and practically grew up eating from the same bowl – no matter what happened, they were not going to let a brotherhood like this end. Soon, Sunday came around. Ch’in Ching slept in past eight o’clock and was reading a book when someone knocked on the gates. He faintly recalled Shen Liangsheng saying he would come on Sunday. He put the book down and went to let him in.“Well, you sure are….” he said as he pulled the gates open.Ch’in Ching was going to say “You sure are early” but he froze when he saw the visitor outside. It took him a few seconds to find his words. “Miss Fang.”“Pardon me, Mister Ch’in, for dropping in like this.” It was Fang Hua. She was dressed sharply for the New Year’s season – a short bamboo green coat with a baby yellow wool scarf – and along with the two hanging braids made one think of youth and spring.“That’s quite all right.” Ch’in Ching turned to let her in. “Just a surprise seeing you here, you know. It’s just that, well, my house isn’t in a presentable state now. Would you mind holding on for a minute while I tidy up?”“No, there’s no need for that.” Fang Hua giggled at the bewildered man and added kindly, “I just hope I’m not disturbing you.”“Of course not. Happy New Years, Miss Fang.” Ch’in Ching chuckled too, acting like it was just a colleague visiting for New Year’s wishes and concealing the fact he was wary about her intentions coming to his house. The two went indoors, and Ch’in Ching showed her to her seat before getting the water boiling for tea. While he was in the kitchen, Fang Hua scanned the room from where she was at the table in efforts to calm her nerves. She only looked calm, but she had b.u.t.terflies in her stomach. She had spent quite some time cheering herself on at home before paying him this New Year’s visit.“Careful, hot.” Ch’in Ching came back in with the kettle and two clean gla.s.ses. He put in the tea leaves and poured a gla.s.s for her before sitting down across from her.“Thank you,” Fang Hua said softly. She cupped her hands loosely around the gla.s.s as her heartbeat sped up again. He gave her some hot tea, and she felt as though her heart was letting off just as much steam as the liquid.“Sorry, I didn’t prepare for the holidays, so I don’t have anything for you.”“That’s fine.”“How has your New Year’s been?”“Good.” “What about you, Mister Ch’in?”“Not too bad myself.” The conversation died after the small talk. One was feeling awkward while the other was trying to find a topic, then they both started at the same time. “You–”“You first,” Fang Hua chuckled.“You look good.” Ch’in Ching gave a light laugh as well and chose something that pleased the ladies but was not too out of place.“Likewise.” Regardless of how anxious she really was, she put on a mature appearance. She returned the compliment with a smile, “You seemed to have gained some meat during the holiday.”“Oh, is that right?” Ch’in Ching pinched his own cheek. “Because just the other day I was told that I never put on weight no matter how much I eat.”Fang Hua just looked at him with a smile – her gaze was more or less straightforward in conveying her feelings. Ch’in Ching met it but still continued casually. “How are the parents?”“They’re doing well. My brother and sister-in-law, too.” Fang Hua teased him with her head tilted. “I have a younger brother who’s doing well, too. Anything else you’d like to know?”Chuckling, Ch’in Ching shook his head while making up his mind – he could not let this drag on. He had to clear things up sooner or later, and better sooner than later.“Oh, right.” Fang Hua pretended to have forgotten about it as she took out a few containers from her cloth bag. “I knew that you…”She faltered as she mustered the confidence to finish.“…that you live by yourself, so I brought a few things I made myself. I hope you like it.”She knew his parents had pa.s.sed away and was worried that he did not have a proper New Year’s meal. Guessing his preferences, she had made several dishes for him and brought them over. They were nothing expensive, but the sincere feelings behind them were too much for Ch’in Ching to accept.He dare not accept but did not reject her right away. He even opened one and took a sniff, praising with enthusiasm, “You’d make a great wife. I’m envious of whoever gets to marry you. Meanwhile, I have to keep my dear intended out of the kitchen so it doesn’t burn down.” Fang Hua had somewhat expected it – women were the most sensitive when it came to objects of their affection. She had sensed that Ch’in Ching met someone special recently, but she wouldn’t rest until she came to a definite answer, like solving one of her math equations.The gla.s.s in her hands gradually cooled as she stared at the rim. The tea had turned cold by the time she finally spoke again, “Even so, you still like her, right?”Ch’in Ching had just rejected her indirectly, and now he could only finish the job. “I do, very much.”Silence ensued as Fang Hua fought back her tears. She told herself that she mustn’t cry, not during New Year’s.“It’s getting late, Mister Ch’in. My family’s waiting for me to join them for lunch.” As soon as she managed to hold in her emotions, she stood up and said goodbye. “You can have the food, and don’t worry about the containers. It can wait until we get back to work again.”“I’ll see you out then.”“No, it’s fine.”“I insist.”“No, it’s fine.”“…but I insist.” Fang Hua was too scared to refuse again because she was on the verge of tears. The two walked in silence until the entrance of the hut’ong. Ch’in Ching wanted to ask her how she came and wondered whether he should call a rickshaw or see her to the tram stop. However, Fang Hua spoke first.“Ch’in Ching….” she called softly.“Yes?” He was the one who turned her down but felt a bit bad, nonetheless. It was probably the first time – and possibly the last – she did not refer to him as “Mister Ch’in.”But she did not say another word. She turned towards him, took a step forth and rested her forehead on his chest. The tears that she had been holding back trickled out without a sound.There were other pedestrians but she couldn’t care less – this was the last time anyway, so they could think of this however they would like.Hesitantly, Ch’in Ching raised his hand. He knew he should not give her false comfort but he couldn’t help patting her gently on the head.“You’re just too kind.” Fang Hua straightened herself right away and said with her eyes cast down. “And I’m just not fortunate enough.” Then, she turned and walked away briskly without turning back.Ch’in Ching stood in the same spot watching her lonely green coat disappear as her walk eventually turned into a run. He was worried about her going home like this, but he could not go after her. In the moment of dilemma, he noticed a familiar black sedan parked across the road and its owner had been standing there, watching for some time. When the man noticed his gaze, he hopped into the vehicle without hesitation, stepped on the gas and sped off. Shen Liangsheng would not have come to see Ch’in Ching this early if not for the dinner that night that he had to attend. That was why he headed out in the morning in hopes to eat lunch with the man.He had just reached his destination and was about to make a u-turn to park on the other side of the road when he spotted Ch’in Ching walking out from the hut’ong beside Fang Hua. Then, he witnessed all the drama that proceeded.The girl was long gone, yet Ch’in Ching was still standing there like a dummy, looking like he was deliberating whether to run after her or not. Seeing this, Shen Liangsheng decided to step out of the vehicle and wait to see how long it would take for the other man to notice him.And when Ch’in Ching finally did notice him, Shen Liangsheng didn’t want to see him now because of the unusual anger that he was experiencing. He closed the car door with a slam and drove off.Shen Liangsheng was not to be fully blamed for misunderstanding the situation. See, while the two were acting out a scene of farewell, the audience across the street understood the male lead to show lingering feelings towards the woman who had left him behind. Furthermore, Shen Liangsheng had no idea if things were sorted out with Hsiao-Liu or not, and then witnessing all this only added to the confusion. It was in fact hard for him not to over-think the matter.It was not that he actually believed something was going on between the two schoolmasters, but it was that moment when he realized that the man had many other options available. He was certainly not living a life of solitude. He had friends; he had a woman who fancied him. If Shen Liangsheng let him go, the man could easily find someone else and live on without a pain. That night, Shen Liangsheng had dinner with the shareholders of Nakahara Company and afterwards, they continued the gathering at Seventh Heaven, the dance hall at Nakahara Department Store. Chou was trailing behind his boss when he suddenly leaned in to ask, “Sir, would it be all right if I took the rest of the night off?”Shen Liangsheng glanced at his secretary. “What for?”Chou had worked for his boss for four years. He might have acted subservient most of the time, but he and his boss were closer than one might have expected. He heaved a sigh and told the truth. “The missus and I had a fight right before I left home today, so I was thinking to get her something from the shop downstairs before they close.”“Fine.” Shen Liangsheng knew his secretary was henpecked but extremely close with his wife nonetheless. The next moment, the young master had an idea and he called the secretary back. “Pick a few things up for me too, while you’re at it.”Chou kept a straight face and nodded after noting down the items that his boss requested. He knew it. He knew that those two were not going to last long, and now it seemed like the boss had already moved on.Shen Liangsheng was oblivious to Chou’s inner dialogue and added more details to his instructions closer to the secretary’s ear. When he finished, he noticed the other man’s slightly dumbfounded expression. He inquired with a raised brow. “What’s the matter?”“Well, young master….” Chou tried to keep it in, but he broke out in chuckles as he replied humorously, “No, I was just here wondering what to buy my wife, and you just gave me a push in the right direction.” “Less talking, more doing.” Shen Liangsheng was not polite at all, but his voice carried the playful tone that men shared with each other.Chou was delighted that he aimed for the goose but hit the gander, because it appeared that his boss took a liking to his comment. However, after the initial delight, he felt regret. The two men were still together and the affection was still strong – they wouldn’t be playing these games otherwise. If things kept going down this road, he was going to have to figure something out even if Mr. Ch’in could not become the mistress of the Shen house. On the other hand, Ch’in Ching knew there was a misunderstanding, but he did not give chase and try to explain himself – legs could not beat wheels, after all. He could only rant and rave silently while cursing the petulant young master…no, it was downright the behaviour of a spoiled princess who would never make a good wife.But even so, Ch’in Ching couldn’t stop himself from liking him. He sighed and decided to give the other man a day to calm down before going over to cheer him up.Ch’in Ching went to the Shen manor early next morning, but Princess Shen was not home – probably busy with the social engagements during the holiday. However, the schoolmaster was no stranger to the house and made himself right at home, waiting for the owner the whole day. It was not until well past nine that he returned.After hearing the servant’s report on the presence of Mr. Ch’in in the manor, Shen Liangsheng headed straight upstairs. When he opened the bedroom door, unsurprisingly, Ch’in Ching was reclined against the headboard, reading with only a bath robe on. His hair was still damp, too, so he must have just gotten out of the shower.“You sure rest easy.”“Says you.” Ch’in Ching crawled off the bed with a naughty expression and hugged the other man around the waist. “I get uneasy if I don’t get to see you.”Shen Liangsheng did not show any displeasure on his face and even planted a kiss on the man’s cheek as usual. “I’m going to bathe.”“Roger,” Ch’in Ching replied quickly but tailed the other man into the bathroom. As Shen Liangsheng undressed, he explained that there was nothing more to his relationship with Fang Hua than colleagues, and that there was nothing to worry about regarding Hsiao-Liu. He wanted to get the message across to the young master, Mr. Shen Jr., that everything was all right and there was no reason to stay mad.“Is that all?” Shen Liangsheng was standing under the shower head, flipping the wet hair back as he shot the other man a look.“T-that is all.” Ch’in Ching loved watching the man flip his hair, and even though he had seen the man in the nude more times than he could count, the sight was still too hot for him to handle. He shot out the room and closed the door behind him to cool down. After bathing, Shen Liangsheng walked out with nothing but a bath towel. He stopped at the wardrobe and beckoned at the man reading on the bed with a finger.“Come here, I have something for you.”“No such thing as a free lunch.” Ch’in Ching followed his directions and went up to him, but his mouth was as mischievous as ever. “You must be up to no good.”Shen Liangsheng did not pay attention to his quips and proceeded to open the wardrobe, taking out an unwrapped apparel box. Inside the box was a set of pink women’s pajamas consisting of a knee-length spaghetti strap dress and a Western-style robe with floral print around the edges.Ch’in Ching, of course, had no experience shopping in the women’s section and hadn’t the slightest idea what the heap of pink stuff was until Shen Liangsheng took the satin dress out, asking him to lift up his arms. He instantly backed away with a pink flush on his face.“Don’t take this too far, Shen Liangsheng. I told you, nothing’s going on between me and her. You can’t do this just ‘cause you’re upset.”“So what if I do?” Shen Liangsheng closed the distance, hooking an arm around the other man’s waist while trying to put the garment over his head.“Hey–” Ch’in Ching broke away from his arm with a face red in what was most likely anger. “I’m not a woman. Stop it already.”“I know you’re not.” Shen Liangsheng was not fazed at all and snaked his arm around the shorter man’s waist again, coaxing in his ear. “Just put it on for me to see. Would you do that for me?”Ch’in Ching was so offended that he did not wish to continue this conversation any further. He just wanted to leave right now.“Come now.” Shen Liangsheng knew the other man was mad. He kissed a blood-filled earlobe and whispered secretively, “I do wish you were a woman, though. That way I can make you mine and keep you in my arms for the rest of my life.”The speaker’s face was the same poker face and his voice was calm as usual, but somehow his words lingered and sneaked in through the tiny, winding crevices of the listener’s heart. Ch’in Ching didn’t know if he was angry anymore, but he stayed quiet with his face still crimson.Shen Liangsheng continued what was by now a fib, “And you know what I told the store clerk when I bought it?”He leaned in until his lips brushed the other man’s ear.“I said it was for my missus.”
“What did I do to deserve this from you?!” Ch’in Ching exclaimed after moments of staring at the ground. He s.n.a.t.c.hed the dress from Shen Liangsheng and began stuffing himself into it. He realized he was beyond the point of no return – he might as well always have been. Hearing the taller man’s sweet, sweet words, he couldn’t help but feel a bitter emotion so strong that he didn’t mind going along with the act and playing out a night as his wife.
“You’re just a child who can’t even dress himself properly, aren’t you?” Shen Liangsheng grabbed his arms. “Hold still.”He stripped the bath robe off, put on the satin dress properly and adjusted the skinny straps on his shoulders. Then, after flattening the messy hair, Shen Liangsheng hugged the man around the waist and gently brought him close.“Beautiful,” he hummed.“No way. Don’t take me for a fool.”“It’s beautiful if I say so.”“You are just full of hot air, aren’t you?”
Shen Liangsheng had given specific instructions for Chou to buy the largest size available, and it was imported fashion as well. Ch’in Ching was also quite skinny so he fitted the dress despite being a man – and it was not too tight either.
He was, however, taller than most women, and the knee-length dress only reached halfway down his thighs. His skin might not have been as pale as Shen Liangsheng’s but was nonetheless whiter than most men, and the colour pink did not clash with him. The satin dress had no extra print on it, only lace hems in the same colour. The taller man slid his hand lightly over the lace while guiding the man’s hand under his own towel.“What do you mean hot air?” Shen Liangsheng retorted, “If you weren’t beautiful…”Ch’in Ching let out soft pants as he felt the swollen manhood in his hand. The man continued in a whisper, “Why would it get like this as soon as it catches sight of you?”“Touch it nice and slow, baby. You said you liked it the best–” Before Shen Liangsheng could finish, he felt the grip around his member tighten. He abandoned his previous thought. “Be gentle, Missus Shen, or else your future s.e.x life is going to be doomed.”“Shut up.” Ch’in Ching mumbled grumpily. He couldn’t listen to this anymore. His face was probably hot enough to make pancakes now.Shen Liangsheng knew when to stop, but he did not let his mouth rest. He carefully licked the other man’s ears while his right hand slid under the dress to cup the schoolmaster’s bare a.s.s roughly. From time to time, his fingers would probe the hole between the cheeks. His member began throbbing painfully at the feeling of the opening sucking on his fingers like a tiny mouth.
“Stand over there by the bed.” Shen Liangsheng suddenly pushed him away and went to the bedside table. After finding the lubricant, he took off the towel around his waist and sat down on the bed.
“C’mere,” he said while patting his own thighs.Ch’in Ching had become fairly unreserved in bed since he acquainted himself with the act with Shen Liangsheng. However, the humiliating outfit tonight seemed to have formed some sort of constraint on him. He was uncomfortable and moved like a stiff puppet to Shen Liangsheng’s voice, and after straddling the other man, he had no idea what to do next.Shen Liangsheng had bought the dress and made him wear it as a punishment – he was just furious seeing the man with a woman and that fury was not going to disappear until he had tormented him one way or another – but now the man was sitting compliantly in his lap, looking shyer than their first time together. The man did not know what to do or where to put his hands, and Shen Liangsheng found this so cute he just wanted to bully him some more.“Now you’re behaving, I see. Where have you been this whole time?” Shen Liangsheng opened the lid, scooped out a lump of jelly and warmed it in his palms before applying it gently to the entrance.“What’re you talking about?” Ch’in Ching grumbled as he tugged awkwardly at the dress, but the tingly sensation inside made him clench down on the taller man’s fingers.Shen Liangsheng’s breathing hitched and he worked his fingers faster. He had noticed that his self-restraint had been on the decline day by day ever since he met this man before him. G.o.d d.a.m.n, he did not deserve this, either.“Shen Liangsheng….”“Yeah?”“That’s enough, I think,” he muttered with his head down. He was wet and fully aroused from the two fingers sliding in and out of him.“Get up a lil’,” Shen Liangsheng wouldn’t have been happier if the schoolmaster had said anything else, but he added another request. “And lift up the skirt.”“But it’s not in the way.” But despite saying so, Ch’in Ching still lifted the back of the dress up, exposing his bare b.u.t.tocks. He let out a light whimper as the other man spread his cheeks and entered him with that hot, thick shaft.“You’re so wet.” Shen Liangsheng knew it was because of the jelly but he still commented like he would to a woman. “Like me f.u.c.king you, don’t you?”“Yeah…”“Want to feel even better?”“Yeah.”“Tell me something I want to hear.”“Like what?”“How ‘bout…” Shen Liangsheng pulled the man’s head close and kissed the mole by his eye. “Tell me I’m the only one for you.” They were sweet words of affection but his eyes started stinging. The confession “I like you” threatened to leave his lips again. All the talk about marriage and love were just jokes, but he was still here dressed like a woman, being penetrated like a woman, for no reason other than the fact that he liked him.He even thought that if Shen Liangsheng were to get married, he wouldn’t leave him as long as the other man did not break it off with him first. This was so pitiful and degrading that he wanted to slap himself across the face for it, and thus, the confession stayed unsaid.Noticing the man’s red eyes, Shen Liangsheng thought he had gone overboard with the teasing and began to soothe the man by rubbing his back. “There, there. No more of that.”He ducked down and began kissing the man’s nipples over the satin, nipping and playing them with his teeth and tongue. He thrust up in the direction of that sensitive bunch of nerves until the man replied by shaking with pleasure. Then, he let go of the perky nubs and caught a glimpse of the tent in the dress made by the man’s excited member. The silky satin was wet with fluids oozing out from the head. For some reason, he saw beauty in the sight – a warped beauty. Shen Liangsheng’s own climax and pleasure was warped that night as well. He had made the other man come twice, evident from the dress now spotted with come, and he had shot his load deep inside the man, too. But he was not satisfied yet.He threw a bath robe on and retrieved from the study downstairs the pair of scissors he used to open letters. He laid Ch’in Ching flat on the bed and proceeded to cut holes in the now wrinkly dress around the nipples and crotch area. He took out the limp member through the hole in the fabric and knelt on the bed playing with his nipples while blowing him off. He did his best to please the man, and watched the man writhe uncontrollably and cry as he came in his mouth. Shen Liangsheng was still hard but for some reason it felt like he had climaxed too.As he enjoyed the peculiar rush of pleasure, he grinded their members together, not stopping even after Ch’in Ching came for the fourth time. He kept using his own manhood, mouth and hands to torture the poor muscle that could not get erect again until the man did not even have the strength to tremble anymore. The man ended up whimpering as a bit of urine leaked out. Fully satisfied, Shen Liangsheng shot his load onto the man and lay panting with him in his arms.
Ch’in Ching was overworked and was barely conscious by then. Shen Liangsheng cleaned him up with a hot towel and wrapped the blankets around him tight and snug. Then, he sat against the bed board and smoked as he watched the man sleep.As he watched him sleep, a silent voice spoke to him: If you let this man go, you’ll never get him back again.