"Which shows what comes of a.s.suming anything on one datum. Two of Zack"s grandparents, both mulatto, came from Los Angeles in my homeland. Since my line mixed with his a long time back, probably any of you can claim African ancestry. Which is statistically equivalent to claiming descent from Charlemagne. I"ve gone far afield, and it is time we picked a new Stimulator and a new Respondent. s.p.a.ce travel ruined old Earth-that"s one viewpoint. The other side of the coin, happier and more important in the long run, is that it improved the breed. Probably saved it as well but "improved" is certain. h.o.m.o sapiens is now not only far more numerous than he ever was on Earth; he is a better, smarter, more efficient animal in every measurable fashion. Further this Respondent sayeth not; somebody else grab it. Lazi, quit trying to tickle me and go bother Galahad; Minerva needs a rest."
"Lazarus," Ishtar said, "just one more responding, please. Something you said about Howards made me wonder. You seemed to place all emphasis on intelligence. Don"t you consider long-life important?"
I was astonished to see the oldest human alive frowning over this, slow to answer. Surely it was a question he had settled in his mind at least a thousand years earlier. I tried to forstalt the quandary, found I could not soothly norom it.
"Ishtar, the only correct verbal answer to that is Yes and No-which merely says I lack language to define something that is crystal clear inside me and has been for centuries. But here is part of the truth: A long time ago a short-lifer proved to me that we all live the same length of time." He glanced at Minerva; she looked solemnly back. "Because we all live now. She-he-was not a.s.serting that fallacy of Georg Cantor which distorted pre-Libby mathematics so long; uh, he -was a.s.serting a verifiable objective truth. Each individual lives her life in now independently of how others may measure that life in years.
"But here is another piece of truth. Life is too too long when one is not enjoying long when one is not enjoying now now. You recall when I was not and wished to terminate it. Your skill-and trickery, my darling, and don"t blush-changed that and again I savor now now. But perhaps I have never told you that I approached even my first rejuvenation with misgivings, afraid that it would make my body young without making my spirit young again-and don"t bother to tell me that "spirit" is a null word; I know that it is undefinable . . but it means something to me.
"But here is still more of the truth and all I"ll try to say about it. Although long-life can be a burden, mostly it is a blessing. It gives time enough to learn, time enough to think, time enough not to hurry, time enough for love.
"Enough of weighty matters. Galahad, pick a light subject and, Justin, you plant the barbs; I"ve talked enough. Ishtar, my darling, fetch your long lovely carca.s.s over here, stretch out, and let me ply you with brandy; I want you relaxed enough for what I intend to do with you later."
She came readily to him, stopping only to kiss Ira a promise, then saying softly but clearly to our Ancestor, "Our beloved, it takes no brandy to make me utterly willing for whatever you have in mind."
"Anesthesia, Mama Ishtar. I plan to show you something Big Anna taught me which I haven"t dared risk in all these years. You may not live till morning. Frightened?"
She smiled lazily, happily. "Oh, terribly frightened."
Galahad covered Lapis Lazuli"s mouth with a hand; she bit him. "Stop it, Laz. Let"s everybody watch this-it might be new."
XV.
Agape
I woke slowly next morning, lazed in bed and lived again my Welcome Baccha.n.a.lia. I was in a big bed in a ground-floor room with its garden wall still open as it had been when the party had moved to beds. I could hear no one, although (as I recalled) Tamara and Ira had been with me. Or had Ira visited us earlier?
No matter, all of them visited us at some time before Athene sang us to sleep; I seemed to recall as high as six or seven at once in that big bed, counting Tamara and me. No, Tamara had been gone once, leaving me at the mercy of the talkative twins-who were almost quiet. They said they wanted to a.s.sure me that I did not have to marry them in order to be a member of the family-they would be gone too much of the time anyhow-because they were going to be pirates when they were big enough-but stay groundside half the time-and open a hook shop over a pool hall-and would I come to see them there?
They had to explain to me both terms; then they sang me a little song that seemed partly amphigory and partly ancient English, but included both terms. I kissed them and promised that, when they opened this studio, I would be their most faithful admirer-a promise that did not worry me; at about that age most girls (all of my daughters) have ambitions to become great hetaeras; few attempt that most demanding of arts-or only long enough to discover that they do not have a true vocation.
I thought they were more likely to become pirates; Lazarus Long"s identicals might figure out a way to make crime pay in spite of the enormous depths of s.p.a.ce.
My Welcome Baccha.n.a.lia had bridged from feast to bed with the customary entertainment save that it was homemade instead of the expensive (and often dull) professional acts a fashionable New Rome hostess offers. Lazarus and his sister-daughters started it with what may have been an authentic Highland Fling (who knows, today?): Lazarus dancing fiercely and vigorously (after all that food and drink!), his two miniature copies keeping the pattern exactly with him-to skirling bagpipes offered by Athene . . which I would not have recognized were it not that I am an amateur of ancient music as well as a professional of ancient history. The girls followed with an encore, a sword dance, while Lazarus pretended to be pa.s.sed out from exertion.
Ira, to my amazement, turned out to be a skilled juggler. Question: Did he have that skill all those years he managed a planet?
Galahad sang a ballad with professional virtuosity and great range and control, which astonished me almost as much as I seemed to recall that he used to sing always off key. But when he took an encore with a kerchief stuffed in his mouth, I realized that I had been swived; Athene had done it all. He then played a corpse with three beautiful widows, Minerva, Hamadryad, Ishtar. I won"t describe the dialogue except to say that they seemed cheerful over losing him.
Tamara concluded it by singing "My Arms Enclose You Still"-attributed on slight evidence to the Blind Singer but ancient in any case. I"ve long thought of it as Tamara"s Song, and I wept with happiness, and I was not alone; all did. The twins blubbered aloud . . and when she reached that last line, "-wherever the wild geese lead you, love, my arms will hold you close," I was startled to see that the Senior"s craggy features were as wet as mine.
I got up, poked around in the alcove and refreshed myself enough to face other people, went out into the garden and found Galahad. I kissed him and accepted a happy-morning in a frosty tumbler. It was fruit juice freshly pressed-a treat for taste buds used to morning cups "improved" in various chemical ways.
"I"m cook this morning," he said, "so you had better take your eggs either fried or boiled." He then answered the question a guest does not ask: "If you had awakened earlier, you would have had more choice; Lazarus claims I can"t boil water. But everyone else is gone."
"So?"
"Si. Ira has gone to his office-to work, perchance to sleep. Tamara has gone back to her patients with a message to you that she hopes to be home tonight-but with a word to Hamadryad to take you to bed and rub your shoulder muscles and put you to sleep early, so I"m not sure she expects to be back-won"t if she thinks her patients need her. Lazarus has gone somewhere and one does not ask. Minerva has the twins, and school may be in the "Dora"; it often is. Ishtar got a call to set a broken arm on a farm north of here. Hamadryad has taken our kids on a picnic so as not to disturb you, you lazy lecher. Boiled or fried?"
He was already frying them, so I answered, "Boiled."
"Good, I"ll eat these myself. To hold me till lunch."
"I mean "Fried." "
"So I"ll put in three more, dear. You"re staying, aren"t you? Answer Yes or I"ll put the twins to work on you."
"Galahad, I want want to-" to-"
"Then it"s settled."
"-but there are problems." I shifted the subject. "You said "Hamadryad has taken our kids on a picnic-" Haven"t I met all your family?"
"Dear, we do not exhibit our youngest the moment someone sets foot in the foyer and thereby place on him the onus of being insincerely ecstatic. But there was usually someone with them; Lazarus has firm ideas on raising children. Athene keeps eye and ear on them-but can"t pick them up. Lazarus says that a frightened child needs to be picked up and cuddled now now, not later. He believes in spanking right now, too; it evens out, our kids are neither spoiled nor timid. Lazarus is especially strong on not letting a young child wake up alone-so now you know why I kissed you good-night a bit early. So that Ishtar could help keep you awake while I slept with our youngest three."
"Do you actually sleep with them?"
"Well-When Elf jumps up and down on my stomach, it makes me restless. But being peed on doesn"t wake me-usually. Having the cuddle watch isn"t bad; we rotate so it"s only every ninth night. Every tenth if you opt in. But that can change overnight. Suppose we have a rejuvenation client-One or more clients puts Ishtar, Tamara, Hamadryad, and me out of circulation much of the time. Add that Lazarus may leave as soon as he decides Laz and Lor are grown up. Then a.s.sume that all our darlings get cracking on making babies."
Galahad grinned at me. "How long does it take four willing women to make four more babies? Or six, when the twins join the production schedule as they threaten to at least twice a week. Justin dear, we want you to stay but it won"t all be like last night. If responsibilities of family life worry you, you"d be better off in New Rome where you can hire people to do what you don"t fancy doing yourself."
"Galahad," I said earnestly, "stop stuffing your face a moment, dear. You can"t scare me with baby pee. I was getting up in the night to soothe crying babies a hundred years before you were born. I intend to colonize, I intend to marry again, I intend to raise kids. I had planned to go back to Secundus to clean up loose ends, then come back with the second wave. But I may say the h.e.l.l with that and stay . . as some of the Senior"s remarks last night were aimed at me. At least I took them personally-about having the guts to abandon everything and go go. Secundus is a smoking volcano; that old vixen could set off a bloodbath. One that could include me me, simply because I"m a major bureaucrat."
I took a deep breath and plunged in: "What I don"t understand is why I seem to be invited to join the Senior"s household. Why?" Why?"
Galahad answered, "It"s not your pretty face."
"I know that. Oh, I hardly ever scare dogs with it, but it"s just a face."
"It"s not too too bad. A cosmetic surgeon could do wonders. I"m the second-best cosmetic surgeon on this planet-there being two. The practice would be good for me and, as you pointed out, you"ve nothing to lose." bad. A cosmetic surgeon could do wonders. I"m the second-best cosmetic surgeon on this planet-there being two. The practice would be good for me and, as you pointed out, you"ve nothing to lose."
"d.a.m.n it, dear, don"t farce me. Answer my question."
"The twins like you."
"So? I find them delightful. But the opinion of inexperienced adolescents could not have weighed heavily."
"Justin, don"t let their clowning fool you; they are adult in everything but height-and they are our Ancestor"s identical identical twins. They have his talent for looking inside a person and spotting a bad one. Lazarus lets them run loose because he trusts them to shoot to kill . . and not to shoot if they don"t intend to kill." twins. They have his talent for looking inside a person and spotting a bad one. Lazarus lets them run loose because he trusts them to shoot to kill . . and not to shoot if they don"t intend to kill."
I gulped inside. "Are you saying that those little guns they carry are not toys?"
My old friend Obadiah looked as if I had said something obscene. "Why, Justin! Lazarus wouldn"t let a woman go out of this house unarmed."
"Why? This colony seems peaceful. What have I missed?"
"Not much, I think. Lazarus" advance party made sure that this subcontinent was reasonably clear of large predators. But we brought along the two-legged sort, and despite screening, Lazarus doesn"t a.s.sume that they are angels. He wasn"t looking for angels; they don"t make the best pioneers. Uh, yesterday Minerva was wearing a little skirt. Did you wonder about it? In view of the heat?"
"Not especially."
"She wears her gun strapped to her thigh. Nevertheless, Lazarus won"t let her go out alone; the twins are her usual bodyguard. As a flesh-and-blood she"s only three years old; she doesn"t shoot as well as the twins do, and she"s more trusting than they are. How"s your marksmanship?"
"Just fair. I started taking lessons when I made up my mind to migrate. But I haven"t had time to practice."
"Better find time. Not that Lazarus will ride you about it; he feels responsible for our women, not for men. But if you ask ask for help-I did, and so did Ira-he"ll coach you in everything from bare hands to improvised weapons . . with two thousand years of dirty tricks thrown in. Up to you, old darling-but here"s what it did for me. As you know I used to be a campus narky-a scholar poring over old records-I never carried arms. Then I took rejuvenation and became a rejuvenator myself and was even less inclined to go armed. But for fourteen years I"ve had regular coaching from the all-time champion in how to stay alive. The result? I stand straight and proud. Haven"t had to kill anyone yet." Galahad suddenly grinned. "But the day is young." for help-I did, and so did Ira-he"ll coach you in everything from bare hands to improvised weapons . . with two thousand years of dirty tricks thrown in. Up to you, old darling-but here"s what it did for me. As you know I used to be a campus narky-a scholar poring over old records-I never carried arms. Then I took rejuvenation and became a rejuvenator myself and was even less inclined to go armed. But for fourteen years I"ve had regular coaching from the all-time champion in how to stay alive. The result? I stand straight and proud. Haven"t had to kill anyone yet." Galahad suddenly grinned. "But the day is young."
I answered soberly, "Galahad, that"s one reason I agreed to run a silly errand for Madam Arabelle: to find out things like that. Very well, I take your advice seriously. But you haven"t answered my question."
"Well . . I knew you from long back, and so did Ira. And so did Minerva, though you have trouble believing it. Hamadryad had met you but did not get to know you until last night. Ishtar knew you only from your chart but is one of your strongest supporters. But the deciding factor is this: Tamara wants you in our family."
" "Tamara!" "
"You sound astonished."
"I am."
"I don"t see why. She arranged for someone to relieve her in order to be here last night. She loves you, Justin; don"t you know know it?" it?"
"Uh-" My brain was fuddled. "Yes, I know it. But Tamara loves everyone."
"No, just those who need her love, and she always knows who they are. Incredible empathy, she"s going to be a great great rejuvenator. In this family Tamara can have rejuvenator. In this family Tamara can have anything anything she wants . . and she happens to want she wants . . and she happens to want you you-to stay with us, live with us, join us."
"I"ll be . . d.a.m.ned." (Tamara?) "Unlikely. If I believed in d.a.m.nation, I wouldn"t believe that anyone picked by Tamara Sperling could be in danger of it." Galahad smiled, a happy expression than was more his charm than was his extraordinary beauty. I tried to remember if he had been that beautiful a hundred years back. I am not indifferent to male beauty, but my sensuality is not perfectly balanced; in the presence of a homely female and a beautiful male, I tend to look at the female. So I"ll never be an esthete; I lack judgment in matters of beauty. I apologize in advance to any female who finds my primitive att.i.tude offensive.
But I"ll share bed with Galahad in preference to a self-centered female beauty; he"s warm and gentle and good company, with a roguish playfulness not unlike that of the twins. The thought ran through my mind that I would like to meet his sister-or mother or daughter-a female version of him in character and personality, as well as in appearance.
Tamara! The above was froth at the top of my mind because I was unable to face at once the implications of Galahad"s announcement.
He went on: "Close your mouth, dear; I was as startled as you are. But, even if we hadn"t been friends years back, on Tamara"s motion I would have voted for you sight unseen-so that I could study you. Tamara never makes a mistake. But were you so mind-ill that you needed that much from her? Or so superhuman that she wanted that much from you? But you are neither, or I failed to see it. You aren"t ill, I think, other than a touch of wild-goose fever. You may be superman, but none of us found it out last night. If you are a superstud, you restrained yourself. Hamadryad did say at breakfast that a woman is happy in your arms. But she did not imply that you are the Galaxy"s greatest lover.
"Being one of Minerva"s parents is in your favor, none of them has any serious shortcomings; Ishtar made sure of that -Ishtar knows more about you than you do yourself; she can read a gene chart the way other people read print-and Minerva herself is proof that no mistakes were made. I mean, look at Minerva: sweet as the morning breeze and as beautiful as Hamadryad in her own fashion, and with an intelligence level so high you wouldn"t believe it-yet so modest she"s almost humble.
"But still, it"s Tamara. Your fate was settled before you reached this house. Slow ride home, wasn"t it?"
"Well . . one doesn"t expect speed from a nullboat. Though I was surprised to find one in a young colony. I expected muledrawn wagons."
"Lots of those, too. But Lazarus says that this time he traveled with "seven elephants"-we fetched a mammoth amount of equipment. That"s an overpowered nullboat, rebuilt to Lazarus" specifications, and could have fetched you here in a fifth the time it did. But Ira let Lazarus know that he wanted time to make some calls. So Lazarus probably told whichever twin was in charge-or signaled her somehow; he is almost telepathic with them-to give you a long, slow ride. Which you got, and I bet that Laz and Lor never changed expression."
"They didn"t."
"Was sure of it. They are not not children-you should see them handle a s.p.a.ceship. Anyhow, Ira talked to Ishtar, then to Tamara; then we held a family conference and settled your fate. Lazarus confirmed it while you played with the twins-who were given a chance to veto it later. But they ratified it at once. They not only like you, but Aunt Tammy"s wishes are law." children-you should see them handle a s.p.a.ceship. Anyhow, Ira talked to Ishtar, then to Tamara; then we held a family conference and settled your fate. Lazarus confirmed it while you played with the twins-who were given a chance to veto it later. But they ratified it at once. They not only like you, but Aunt Tammy"s wishes are law."
I was still bemused. "Apparently much went on that I didn"t suspect."
"You weren"t supposed to. A better cook would have stayed to get your breakfast, had I not been deputized to tell you-old friends and all that-and to answer questions."
"I"m confused about that conference. I thought Tamara got home just before dinner."
"She did. Oh-Athene, are you listening, dear?"
"Uncle Cuddly, you know I don"t listen to private conversations."
"The h.e.l.l you don"t. It"ll be all right, Justin; Teena keeps secrets. Tell him how to call someone, Teena."
"Tell me to whom you wish to speak, Justin; I have radio links to every farm. Or anywhere. And I can always reach Ira and Lazarus."
"Thank you, Teena. Now if you must listen, pretend not to. The conference was here, Justin; Teena fetched in Tamara"s voice and Ira"s. Could have fetched voices from the nullboat-but you were the subject. By the way, Teena is one reason this family isn"t farming; instead we supply services that colonies usually don"t have so soon. Oh, you you can farm if you want to; we"ve claimed quite a bit of land. Or there are other ways to make a living. All right, I"ve done my best. Want to quiz me?" can farm if you want to; we"ve claimed quite a bit of land. Or there are other ways to make a living. All right, I"ve done my best. Want to quiz me?"
"Galahad, I think I understand everything but why Tamara wants me in your family."
"You"ll have to ask her. I told you I was checking for your halo. Can"t see it."
"I don"t wear it in hot weather. Obadiah, don"t farce around; this is terribly important to me. Why do you keep saying that Tamara"s wishes settled it?"
"You know her, man."
"I know how important her wishes are to me. But I"ve been in love with her for many years." I told him things I had long kept to myself. "So that"s the way it went. A great hetaera never proposes a contract and usually won"t listen if a man is bold enough to propose one himself. But I-well, I made a nuisance of myself. Tamara finally convinced me that she married only to have children and did not intend to have more. I feel sure that money was not a factor-"
"It wouldn"t be. Oh, I don"t mean that Tamara is silly that way; I"ve heard her say that since money is the universal symbol for value received, one should accept it proudly. But Tamara wouldn"t marry for money; she wouldn"t feel that-Or perhaps she would; I think I"ll ask her. Mm . . interesting. Our Tamara is a complex person. Sorry, dear; I interrupted."
"I say money was not the controlling factor, as she had suitors with ten to a hundred times my modest wealth, yet she married none of them. So I shut up and was content to have part of Tamara-spend nights with her when I was permitted to, share her company in happiness circles at other times, pay her as much as I could-as much as she would accept, I mean; she often set her fee by refusing part of a gift-she did with me; I don"t know what she did with wealthy clients.
"Years and years of that, then she announced that she was retiring-and I was stunned. I had taken rejuvenation during this time but hadn"t noticed that she she was any older. But she was firm about it and left New Rome. was any older. But she was firm about it and left New Rome.
"Galahad, it left me impotent. Oh, not incapable, but what had been ecstasy turned out to be mere exercise not worth the trouble. Has this ever happened to you?"
"No. Perhaps I should say, "Not yet," since I"m still working on my second century."
"Then you don"t know what I mean."
"Only vicariously. But may I quote something Lazarus once said? He was speaking to Ira, but privacy was not placed on it; you"ll come across it in his raw memoirs.
" "Ira," he said, "there were many years when I hardly bothered with women-not only unmarried but celibate. After all, how much variety can there be in the slippery friction of mucous membranes?
" "Then I realized that there was infinite variety in women as people . . as people . . and that s.e.x was the most direct route to knowing a woman . . a route they like, one that we like, and often the only route that can break down barriers and permit close acquaintance. and that s.e.x was the most direct route to knowing a woman . . a route they like, one that we like, and often the only route that can break down barriers and permit close acquaintance.
" "And in discovering this, I gained renewed interest in the friendly frolic itself, happy as a lad with his first bare t.i.t warm in his hand. Happier-as never again was I merely a piston to her cylinder; each woman was a unique individual worth knowing, and, if we took time enough, we might find we loved each other. But at least we offered each other pleasure and a haven from cares; we weren"t simply masturbating, with the other just a s.e.x doll."
"That"s close to what Lazarus said, Justin. You went through something like that?"