"But why would he beat you?"
"You"ve never been in a workhouse?" he said. "Count your blessings."
Chapter Nine.
He asked it so calmly. Meridee dabbed at her eyes and looked him square in his. "I begin to understand what you mean by a curse," she said.
She thought he might deflect her comment, but he nodded. "It"s a curse not to be like everyone else. I learned to keep my mouth closed. The teacher ignored me after that and put me in the back of the room, where I couldn"t see over the taller pupils."
"In your case, it didn"t make any difference where you sat," she said.
"Not at all. Since I could read, all I had to do was find books somewhere, anywhere."
"No, I"ve never been in a workhouse," she said. "You"re saying they didn"t want the challenge of a child out of the ordinary."
"I am. The workhouses take what the cities and towns disgorge and turn little ones who are not at fault for their birth into dumb animals. I sat in the back of that cla.s.sroom for three years," he said, still holding her hand as if he sought rea.s.surance like the child he was then. "There was a row of old books behind me. I took one at the beginning of each cla.s.sroom purgatory and read it five or six times. The teacher couldn"t see me. I got sly and clever and started stealing books to read overnight."
"Bravo, Master Six," she whispered.
He startled her by taking her hand to his lips and kissing it. "When do I become just Able again, Miss Bonfort?"
"Right now, Able," she a.s.sured him, wondering how the top of the stairs in December could suddenly feel so warm.
She was grateful down to her still-cold toes that Able chose not to question her. She was having a difficult enough time trying to figure out this tumult of emotions that had showered over her ever since the man"s recent arrival. Meridee had learned after her mother died that some hopeful doors of escape from the spinster life had been quietly closed to her.
The most glaring failure was a lack of dowry. A respectable man had the prospect of some compensation upon marriage into a genteel family. Genteel though her parents may have been, Papa was not a man prudent with finances. Three modest dowries for the oldest daughters had seen them married well enough, but that was all. The short end of that financial stick had seen her two undowered sisters marrying down a bit. Mama"s pa.s.sing had closed even that door for Meridee, the youngest, who suddenly had no home.
She couldn"t fault Amanda for gently insisting that she come to live in the little country rectory, and her oldest sister did need her services. At the time, incarceration in the country after life in Exeter seemed ample payment for a roof over her head, and she knew she was biddable. She had been happy to furnish childcare for her fertile sister until this strange man arrived to teach her nephews for ten shillings a month. But Able needn"t know all that. He was even poorer than she was.
Her toes were not getting warmer, even though her face and neck still felt on fire. "Able, I"m going to bed before my feet freeze," she said frankly, then couldn"t help another question because she didn"t want to leave his side. "Why in the world couldn"t your teacher just have taught, instead of bullying children into additional fear they didn"t deserve?"
"We were beaten and starved for questioning anything. Apparently, some people, when given a little power, use it most unwisely to wound others," he said promptly, which suggested to Meridee that he had given the matter considerable thought. Of course he had, she chided herself. What does this kind genius do but think?
Cold toes aside, Meridee couldn"t leave. "I"ve seen how good you are with my nephews. Even Gerald seems to be learning. Did you know you had this teaching skill?"
"Not really," he said with a deprecating laugh. She felt his shoulders shake in more silent laughter. "Imagine what I am capable of."
"Able, you astound me," she said as she stood up. "You need to be a teacher of young children."
He rose, too. "Tell that to the Royal Navy. A man can"t quit the service in times of war."
"But we"re at peace," she protested.
"And the Admiralty grudges me half-pay as a reminder that I am still a sailing master."
"Maybe some things need to change," she told him, even as she knew this amazing, intelligent man would be gone at the end of December, when her brother-in-law had no more need of his services.
"Let me know if you see a solution to my current dilemma," he said, and then he kissed her.
It wasn"t her first kiss. Pretty women do find occasional opportunity, and hers had been the brother of the man who married her just-older sister: one quick peck on the cheek, and then another on the lips before he laughed and darted away.
This was different. She was being kissed by a man who probably had some experience, and there they were, balanced on the staircase. His hand went to her throat to steady her. He leaned her against the banister for balance and kissed her several times-each kiss more successful, because Meridee, though not a prodigy, was a quick learner.
This can go nowhere, she reminded herself when he released her neck and stepped up to the next tread.
"I think that was more fun than is legally allowed in the country," he whispered, then kissed her forehead. "Good night, good woman."
She didn"t sleep at all, but spent the night wrapped in a blanket in her window seat, staring out at the undulation of the Devonshire moors. Able was right about mornings in the country: the winter birds did scream rather too loud. About the time she heard the maid of all work tapping on the door to start a modest fire in her grate, she knew her comfortable, quiet, unchallenging life in the country was never going to feel anything but stultifying ever again. When Master Able Six returned to Plymouth and war inevitably began again-she did not doubt his comments on that eventuality-she would spend her increasingly void life wondering whatever became of the man who went back to sea.
Tears came finally when she knew she was doomed to scour every account of battles at sea from now on and wonder if he even still lived. She would wither and die with each piece of vague news until she truly became a dried out woman with no hope. Such a personally disastrous course had come about because she had fallen in love with the most unacceptable human being on the planet, a man so low in birth and fortune that her sister and brother-in-law would never for one second entertain him as a suitable match.
If there was a more discouraged and saddened woman anywhere in the world, Meridee Bonfort had no idea who it could be. And if a woman ever needed to hide such knowledge, she knew precisely who that was, too. The idea of pasting a smiling face on her countenance until the end of December seemed impossible; she could not consider that same face for a lifetime. Not yet, anyway-misery needed to be added upon gently, a stroke at a time, to become bearable.
She pasted on that pleasant face and started another day. She nodded to Able in the breakfast room and teased her nephews about making more Christmas angles, which meant she had to explain that to her brother-in-law. She found pleasure in the way his face lit up when Gerald raced away and returned with his Christmas angel with scalene wings.
"You, sir, are a remarkable teacher," Mr. Ripley said to Able over a cup of tea.
"I enjoy it," was the master"s simple reply. "Didn"t know I would, but I do."
Soon enough, he led his little charges down the hall to the cla.s.sroom, and another day began. Meridee knew better than to look in the mirror, because that pasted on face had started to slip the moment Able left the room with her nephews. She wiped jam off her littlest niece"s hands and lifted her from her chair, holding her close to enjoy the pleasure of a little one. The knowledge she was unlikely to have little ones of her own had never troubled her overmuch before, but it did now.
Still, to everyone except her, this was just another day. She took her other little niece by the hand and started down the hall to the nursery, where they would play and she could stew in peace and quiet.
She had been agitated before by small aggravations, the kind that came with daily living. This was different. She set her little charges down on the floor and sat with them. She emptied a box of blocks and starting stacking them for the girls to knock down.
Ordinarily, the fun of watching her nieces could jolly her out of any black mood. Not today-not when she knew that her life would only go downhill to the eventual sterile grave if she did not exert herself to at least try. But where to begin? She had no idea.
Grateful for any diversion, she looked up with relief when someone tapped on the open nursery door, then sighed inwardly to see her sister. She felt a shiver of fear dart down her back, because Amanda looked grim. We were too loud on the stairs last night, she thought in misery, as her phony expression slipped away entirely.
"May I join you?" Amanda Ripley said as she sat down on a stool beside Meridee. "I don"t think I can manage the floor, but you understand."
Miserable, Meridee folded her hands in her lap and waited for the ax to fall. She hadn"t long to wait.
"I don"t sleep well because I am so uncomfortable, sister," Amanda said, choosing her words carefully.
Meridee said nothing, which made Amanda sigh.
"I heard you and Master Six talking and laughing at the top of the stairs," she said, handing back a block that her daughter handed to her. "Meridee, I don"t know what to think. What is going on?"
Why should such a simple question be so hard to answer? Better to tell Amanda Ripley about the amazing man who was teaching her children. She started slowly, picking her own way through words, then warmed to her subject, because that was her generous nature. While the little ones played, oblivious, Meridee described Able"s early life in the workhouse.
When Meridee dared to look into her sister"s eyes, she saw only kindness there, accompanied by wistfulness.
"He should be teaching disadvantaged children," Meridee said and wiped tears off her cheek. "He deserves so much more." She took a deep breath. "How is it fair for life to be so hard for one so clever?"
Amanda looked down at her lap, then she looked into Meridee"s eyes. "It is unfair for you to be exiled to the country with no chance, really, to meet eligible men."
"What good will it do me when I have no marriage portion?" Meridee asked, genuinely dismayed to hear her sister"s regret. "I am talking of Master Six here."
"And you love him," Amanda said calmly. "I am not a fool, either."
Chapter Ten.
Meridee closed her eyes and rested her head against Amanda"s knee. Her sister"s hand went to her head and rested there as gently as a benediction.
"I didn"t think I was wrong. Are you prepared to do something about Master Six?" Amanda asked.
"If I knew what to do," Meridee said, happy to turn some portion of her despair over to someone else. "I . . . I"ve thought about writing to our Uncle Bonfort in Portsmouth. Perhaps he has some influence. And there is Captain Hallowell, Able"s former captain on the Swiftsure. I don"t know of anyone else. I don"t know what to do, sister, but don"t tell me not to try."
"I won"t," Amanda said, her serenity taking some of the pain from Meridee"s heart. "What I will do is this: you are going to Portsmouth to visit Uncle Bonfort."
"I can"t. You need me," Meridee said, which earned her a flick of a finger to her head, the same punishment Amanda meted out to her boys.
"You will lay this out before our uncle and ask for help," Amanda continued, as if Meridee had not spoken. "You will find out where this Captain Hallowell lives and visit him, too. Surely the navy can do without one sailing master."
"I don"t think it"s that easy," Meridee said.
"You will never know if you do not try," her eldest sister told her firmly. "Pack. Edmund will drive you to Plymouth to catch the mail coach. I wish we could afford a post chaise, but we cannot. I will let you have ten pounds for mail coaches, and such incidentals as you need for travel. I wrote a letter to Uncle Bonfort yesterday, so he will be expecting you."
"You did what? Yesterday?"
"You heard me."
"But, but, you cannot spare ten pounds," Meridee said.
"Before she died, our mother gave me twenty pounds to give to you, should you ever find someone suitable to marry and need a wardrobe and some money to set up housekeeping," Amanda said, calmly and quietly as she said everything, but with a relentless tone to her voice that told Meridee she didn"t really know this older sister as well as she thought. "Master Able is eminently unsuitable, except that you love him and he appears to be smitten, as well."
"Are we that obvious?" Meridee asked.
"Completely. Even Edmund is wondering when you two will elope or do something equally improper."
"Good heavens."
"My thoughts precisely, Meridee," Amanda said. "When you send Master Six outside this afternoon to walk with your nephews, go along and tell him I am sending you to Portsmouth to visit your uncle."
"I have never traveled alone, sister." Who is this person whining? Meridee thought, wondering if she had any courage at all. "Besides, Able will think I am meddling in his affairs."
"You are! He needs a meddler!" Amanda retorted. "You"re twenty-five, a spinster, and perfectly respectable," Amanda reminded her. "Tell Uncle Bonfort you need his advice."
"Sister, am I up to this?"
Amanda kissed her cheek. "Not for you the ordinary fellow, apparently. I should tell you: as we speak, my estimable husband is talking to Master Six. I think you will have a proposal soon."
"Speak of meddlers!" Meridee hugged her sister. She sniffed back tears because she hadn"t time for them. She sat up, alert, when she heard firm footsteps coming down the hall.
Amanda"s hearing was equally acute. She held out her hands to her daughters and informed them they were to come with her now. Meridee watched in wide-eyed amazement as these headstrong little females who occasionally b.u.t.ted heads with her did exactly as their mother said. She stood up, wanting to be on her feet when Master Six came into the nursery.
"Beg pardon, ma"am," Able said as he stood aside for Amanda and her little ones to pa.s.s.
"Close the door behind you, Master Six," her thoughtful sister said.
He did as instructed, then crossed the small room in two strides and grabbed Meridee around the waist. "I have been informed by the vicar who holds the living in this parish that I had better propose, as he is calling banns on Sunday."
Meridee put her hands to his chest, but she didn"t push hard. "Don"t do anything you don"t want to do."
"You"re quizzing me," he said, his eyes so intense.
She looked right into those amazing eyes of his, those windows to a brain so astonishing she would never be able to keep up with it-no one could. She thought about taking herself bravely to Portsmouth to plead his case for what, she wasn"t even certain.
"I would never quiz you about loving me," she said, "but I cannot even fathom a more unlikely couple than we will make. I cannot begin to match you for brains, Able."
He laughed at that and pulled her closer. "No one can, Meridee Bonfort, but what is that to me? You have enough heart for both of us. My captain was right, however: I need a keeper."
"Do you? Propose to me."
He took her face so gently between his hands. "Here it comes. Miss Bonfort, I was found as a baby, naked and an orphan, on a church step and have not a single thing to recommend me. I have no money, no employment, and no prospects if war doesn"t resume. If it does, I"ll be at sea continuously and only show up now and then, provided I stay alive. Hush now." He held up his hand. "Or you"ll find a way to keep me insh.o.r.e and teaching children."
She touched his upraised hand and pulled it back to her cheek. "All you have done is list reasons why you are supremely unsuited. Here are my reasons: I have no dowry or money, either. Socially, we could not be farther away from each other." She stopped. "I can"t think of any other reasons."
"Your list is shorter than mine, by far." He released her, then pulled her closer. "Here is what I do have: great love for you, plus respect and admiration."
Meridee found it distressingly easy to press against his back and haul him closer. Mama would have been scandalized, but she doubted Amanda Ripley would be. "That"s precisely what I have, too."
"Meridee Bonfort, will you marry me?"
"I thought you would never ask. After all, it"s been all of two weeks."
He laughed, started to kiss her, but broke it off when they were nearly lip to lip. "But is that a yea or nay?"
"You exasperate me. It"s yea."
It all sounded so simple in the nursery. At noon, Meridee stammered her way through luncheon like an idiot, then just closed her mouth and listened to her nephews tell their father and mother about their adventures with fractions. Able Six looked on, beaming at his pupils, then gave her a slow wink.